Let the Dragon's lose

Hello again

Christy Clark Premier of British Columbia is and has allowed the Public Guardian and Trustee of British Columbia to:


Ruin Christmas for my mother and I, and my mother has Dementia and lung cancer. And I have to walk with a cane.

Are abusive and ignorant and are abusing my mother and myself.

Deny promises that they make, and deny mom her needs.

Christy Clark is responsible for the PGT And Christy Clark is letting the PGT do this to us.

The PGT are being ignorant and are refusing to help me with a bus pass. So as of Sunday, I can no longer see mom. I have nothing, Not a penny to my name.

So as of now, mom can no longer have her drinks, snacks, fruit. And mom can not longer have her spa treatment every night.

The PGT and Christy Clark are refusing to provide funds to cover the costs of the Biotherm products. Her moisturisers, hand lotion, lip balm, eye serum, cleanser, high recharge cream and the others that are part of the spa treatment. As well as the products necessary for her manicures. Nail files, nail buffer, nail polish, and nail polish remover.

These are the products that mom requires on a daily basis

The PGT and Christy Clark are refusing to help with funds for me to cook her food, or pick mom up something up for dinner. As mom does not eat allot of the food at Oceanside.

This is how the PGT operate, they tell you to give it a week and then nothing and it goes on for ever

They say mom is a client of theirs. A client who cannot speak for herself. And is trapped with the abusive nature of the PGT.

The PGT does not care if I am an advocate for mom. They dont care about anyone. They will just hang up on you. As they did to me today. Even when I tell them I cant see mom as of Sunday. I have no bus pass or funds for this.

I need help to get a bus pass. $151.00 and need it right away. As mom needs me their everyday. I have not missed a day and should not. Even though the PGT knows I have not missed a day and this is what they say. WE DON'T CARE TO BAD Those are their exact words.

Then I have to deal with the crap they dish out. We will talk to you at the end of the month. Then hang up on me. This means I cant see mom all month. This will kill her and get her very mad. I wont blame her either.

Mom depends on me, as no one else came over Christmas, And I was their every day. And I am starving right now and have been for days now. I am getting weaker and weaker. I cant stop hugging and kissing mom these last few days.

These are the people who are at fault in this. Christy Clark.for allowing this to take place.

Chris Brettell 604.660.4484

Stephen Fylnn 604.775.0199

Main number 604.660.4444

And the Supervisor Colleen Koch at (604) 660-4448.

Mom is so happy to see me everyday. When I get their, knowing what I know, I start to cry and give her big hugs.

I cant take this crap anymore. It is time to bring down the PGT and CHRISTY CLARK is responsible for them and she can get in touch with me at 604.552.0557 I will keep putting her name up here.

GOD Bless and good night.

Kris

I don't know what to say

Hello again

Today has been a very emotional day, from the moment I awoke. I started to cry right away. It is very hard on me. To know that as of the 1ST of January I will not be able to go to see my mother anymore. This is of course due to the PGT and what ever is with them. OK I swore at Stephen Flynn. I called him a F. A. This is due to the continuous promises that are told to me. And then he tells me that the PGT is not going to supply me with any money anymore. I immediately said what about the bus pass. And his response was even this. Then he hung up on me. Well no one likes to be hung up on. I was irate at this point. I phoned back and swore at him.

Then I get an email from someone else telling me that because of the way I have spoken to some of the staff I will not be assisted and will be revisited in 1 one months time. Come on now. The 1st is now,

I have not missed one day, since mom moved to White Rock. As a matter of fact I have only missed a few days in the last 4 four years. Now I am being forced to not see my mother.

They are not aware of the fact it is mom's money.

So tonight while visiting mom, I could not stop hugging and kissing her. Very strong hugs. I sang as much as I could to her. I did not let go of her hand. Mom smiled the whole time.

But I kept tripping over my boots. You see, I have a pair of waterproof boots. But the problem is that the left foot has no problem with them. But the right foot has a big problem. I am tripping and my boot is in the way of my cane. The boot is just to heavy for my right leg. It is in the way of me walking.

So I have a choice. I have two pairs of shoes. The boots, which I can not wear, as I am tripping all the time. And a pair of deck shoes, with holes in the soul. And in this rain, as it has been doing for the last several days, and will continue for, well, until February. Wearing the deck shoes, my feet are always wet. So wear a pair of waterproof boots and fall, or wear the deck shoes and be able to walk properly and have wet feet. I choose the wet feet.

And looking through my closet this morning, I realize I have one pair of jeans left, 3 t-shirts and one soft shell pullover. Which mom keeps asking me why I am wearing this all the time. I simply tell her that this is all I have and I have to wear it as well as the jeans and t-shirt. It is OK though. As long as I get out here to see you. I don't care if I have wet feet or am soaking wet, or cold. As long as I am here and able to be here with you. Everything is OK though.

It is OK, it is only water and it is not the first time I have been soaking wet and will not be the last time. I live in Vancouver, BC Canada. It is a rain forest. Get use to rain or move. I have offered many people that I would drive them to the airport, because they are complaining to much about the rain.

So mom tonight was happy, I was happy. But when I arrived and gave her a hug, I just started to cry. It is very nice and a beautiful experience to be their with mom everyday. I could never described the feeling. No one is going to be able to take these feelings and memories away from me. This is why I do it. I will have these memories forever.

What I do say is, that I am thankful for the Ellen show. She makes me laugh. I get to watch it when I get home.

My mother has been the instrumental part of my being creative, intelligent, brilliant. Mom taught me to use all of what GOD gave me. To try different things. Mom wanted me to be a lawyer. Mom was supportive of me when I studied science and made a mess, as I developed my artistic side and developed my left brain, right brain side. Through all my car accidents and illness's, which were many. 

I am so hurt that mom is not going to be able to see me. The PGT do not realize that they are also hurting my mother, when they deny me this. Mom expects me their. Everyday. This is what she waits for. And mom does not like me to speak with anyone else while I am their. Our time she tells me. I understand, no one else comes and visits. Not a single relative gives a crap, the only care about themselves.

But this is the way of the world. As shown over the Christmas season. I did not receive a single bit of help from anyone. I am sorry I did receive help from a lovely couple. And GOD Bless them. I do, however have to write them. Very soon. As in tomorrow morning. Please forgive me, but y'all know I speak my mind and tell the truth.

I need to go now. I have been living on porge/oats and I am out and I am hungry. So to bed I go. I need the sleep.

GOD bless and good night.

Kris

It is

Hello again

I have just been thinking about the fact no one went to see mom over Christmas. Well I counted the people around here and there are 29 people who are actually family and only my sister and her two grandchildren went to see mom.

Mom has been asking me why, why wouldn't they come. While holding my hand extremely tight.

Now I made a promise to mom again that I would be their for her all the time and never miss a day, ever.

Now the problem is this. The PGT has threatened to stop helping me with bus fare and funds for her drinks and snacks. I wrote them again tonight explaining about Christmas and no answer.

The first is just a few days away and mom needs me to be their all the time. And the truth is I need to be their, as well. I look forward to visiting mom everyday. I am starting to not like this 3 hour their and 3 hour back thing. I wish I was closer so I can actually spend more time with her. And be able to take her out during the day.

And looking into mom's eye's is heart breaking. I am human and do have feelings. I cried about this tonight, on the bus, on my way to the bus and on my way home. Well and now.

It is hard to see mom this way. And it is hard to see that no one cares enough to even help out  a little. Or for my family not to care at all. And for everyone else to even see that this is the most important thing I am doing in my life. That nothing I ever do will compare to this. I am so very blessed to have this opportunity to be here for my mother. I have been given an opportunity to give to someone.

I have been given a rare once in a life time opportunity in my worthless life.

GOD bless and good night

Kris

It was cold and wet today

Hello again

I miss my red North Face jacket. I really hope who ever has it is nice and dry. Today I got extremely wet and was very cold.

Mom got upset tonight about the fact they won't let me put her to bed. The staff are starting to see this as a joke. That I can't do anything about it. I just have to listen to them.

Come on now. This is just bull shit. If mom gets sick who do I sue. Do I sue the staff. I am not going to take it. I want mom to be safe and without stress. And if they are causing mom stress, by their actions. They we have to take action to change their actions. Don't we.

I want mom as calm as possible.Because of this, mom was angry and I could not get to do her feet. They put this belt on her and I have not even started to give her, the spa treatment.

Once again, I am still broke, and mom has no creams or snacks or drinks left. And I have no money to buy any of these.

And in a few days is the end of the month, and I need a new bus pass. No money for this either. $151.00

God bless and good night.

Kris

Merry Christmas to all and all a good night

Hello again

Merry Christmas to everyone, and happy boxing day to the other's who are not in my time zone. I am wishing that everyone had a fantastic Christmas Day, full of family and presents. The excitement of watching your children rip the presents open. I wish you all had a great dinner with all your loved one's.

Me, sorry, for being a bummer,. But my and my mother's was a nothing present-less Christmas. I came home Christmas Eve to myself, I woke up to no one and to nothing. I really thought that there would be something at my door. But no. What ever happened to those people who use to call themselves friends. Maybe they just vanished off the face of the earth. Because I don't see or hear from them at all.

And I got ready, feeling extremely depressed, for I did not even have a single present for my mother. Not even a card. Great feeling! I left to go to White Rock,so I could be their for mom's Christmas dinner at 12:00PM Mom was happy to see me and sad at the same time. Mom wants a family dinner like we always did. Or at least family their. Yes I am family.

We enjoyed ourselves and I didn't have a dinner as I could not afford the $7.00 thanks to the PGT. Who now has ruined Christmas for mom and I.

Well at bed time tonight, I, again wanted to put mom to bed. But this is another problem area I am having with the staff. Especially one individual. I am not even allowed in the room when they put her to bed. Even though I spoke with one of the nurses and we arranged it, that I would at least be in the room with her. But no.

This is getting old. Can't walk her. Even though they haven't done this. Now can't put her to bed. Even though, it gets mom upset when they do it. She wants me to do it.

And I am tired of these nurses who think they know everything. Who only have a two year diploma in Psych. Nursing. And I have spent many years now studying psychology and Dementia. And am much more informed then they are. This is all I will say. I should at least tell them first.

But I have a large expense ahead of me to get registered in my province as a Psychologist. As I have said $5000.00 in fee's. Which I have no clue where this will come from. But, some how. GOD

Well mom and I discussed this whole thing about the staff and I told her I would picket if I have to. Mom, being mom, told me not to and for now, until I contact Workman's compensation board. that it will be OK. I told her I would not cause any problems and will not picket them, as I will with the PGT.

Now it is coming up to the end of the month, and the PGT has told me they are not going to help me with a bus pass to go to see mom. Without this, I cannot get their. This is abuse. On a grand scale.

I am out of all of mom's creams and moisturisers and lotions. I don't have the 2 hundred dollars it is going to take to get them all. Now this is also abuse by the PGT.The would supply the funds for me to continue to do this for mom. ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE

It is abuse. They just don't seem to get it. I told mom I am not stopping my campaign against the PGT. I have started it and I have to finish it. I will be making new posters and putting them up tomorrow night when I return to Vancouver. And on Wednesday morning I will be back across the street with my new picket signs. I have to.

The PGT has to see that not everyone is going to sit down and just be their dog. Sit, roll over, you get it. I need to do this, not just for me, but for all whose money is being abused by the PGT.

And my picketing has nothing to do with mom. This is just between me and Stephen Flynn and now back to Chris Brettell. On this blog and now on YOU TUBE.

I cannot afford the large amount of funds it would take to fight the PGT in court. So I use what I can. That is multi media..Time to go.


GOD bless and good night

Kris

Christmas eve

Hello again


It is Christmas eve and I am home alone. not a soul to be found and tomorrow will be the worse Christmas in my history.

A nothing, present-less Christmas, with no goodies even. Absolutely nothing for me to bring mom. I have .30 cents to my name. And poor is not even close to describe me.

I mean I cannot even bring my mother a gift and card on Christmas Day.

This is thanks to the PGT 700-808 west Hasting Street  Vancouver BC Canada 604.660.4444 Stephen Flynn or Chris Brettell are the one's who ruined Christmas for my mother and myself.

I mean I have nothing. And when I say nothing, I mean it. Tomorrow I could of joined mom for Christmas dinner, but I did not have the $7.00 to pay for it. So I will just be their with mom. And besides, they are having their dinner at 12:00 noon. Too Early for me to eat a meal like that. Or even anything at all. At that time of the day, all I want is tea. Oh wait, I cannot even buy myself a cup of tea. Bull Shit. I say. This sucks the big one.

Not a single thing from anyone. And I write you read. And you could not even bring yourselves to be a little giving at this time of the year. I mean forget about me. Everyone has to bring their mother something on Christmas day. But not me. I can't even do this. I have .30 cents to my name.

Come on now. I have asked everyone I could think of to assist me with getting mom something for Christmas. But no. I thought someone from you readers would help me.

Sorry, but not a soul. None of you. I am a bit embarrassed about this. I am a Christian and I would reach out across the world for a story like mine. A real, interesting story.

I could not even begin to think of the things that happen to my mother and myself, through all this on a day to day basis's

I give  over 100% of my love and life for my mother. Yes most people don't have the time or can't or just won't. But that is OK. This is what I need to do for mom. I need to be their for mom. It is a thing I feel is the one right thing that is going on in my life. I believe I am suppose to be doing this. And be their no matter what. and this is what I am doing. And will continue to do. I am to do the right thing. And that is to honor your mother and honor the widow. I am following my GOD's direction. My whole body feels I am doing the right thing. And if I were to stop I would be killing my mother.

As it is because of the PGT's threat, I might not be able to see my mother anymore. The PGT tells me they are not going to help me with anything anymore. This includes the bus fair. And I receive a $5.00 cheque for the month of January. I don't have the $151.00 to buy the bus pass and I need to buy it this coming week.

GOD bless Stephen Flynn and Chris Brettell. these are the two that are stopping me from seeing my mother. And this is abuse on a grand scale. Especially when my mother relies on me to be their everyday and put her to bed and give her the spa treatment

These two are beginning to be a major problem. And they are causing my mother undue harm. By me not being their, mom is going to freak out. She is going to think I don't love her anymore. This is the way mom thinks. Remember she has Dementia.

I put up a video on YOU TUBE tonight. Three actually. Kris VS the PGT 1,2,and 3
SO you know where we are and I just thought

Oh well this is exactly what I thought would happen, nothing. This is what I was not expecting. I am basically a person who thinks people will step up, when someone is in need.

GOD bless and good night

Kris

Another day closer to Christmas and not a present to be found for mom.

Hello Again

Today I met two wonderful people. And it was a pleasure speaking with them. I hope to get to know them better.

So another day of depression for me. But I was down town Vancouver, and stood across the street with my sandwich board picket sign for a couple of hours today. I had to leave, so I could get out to see mom.

Yes it is the last day for their office to be open.. That is OK as I will be their across the street Wednesday and be their everyday after that. Until they get it together.I was not even going to go, as it was raining and I don't have my water proof jacket anymore. I wanted to stand out their for a very long time. But I at least got two hours in.

While I was doing this I made a video that I will put up on You Tube, when I figure out how. But I will and let you know how to find it. Or what the tittle is. Most likely. The PGT ruined Christmas for my mother and I by Kris Schmuland. And will continue to make video's now.

I just wanted to let y'all know about my day. Mom is good and very glad as always to see me and I her.

I just wish that a miracle happens this night. So I can at least go and get mom something to open on Christmas Day. Not nothing. I won't even be able to have dinner with her. As I did not even have the $7.00 to pay for that.

I ask my GOD to assist me in this. That tomorrow/today actually something big happens in the morning before I leave to go see mom. As on my way back. Everything will be closed.

So if you believe out their, I ask that I receive a miracle first thing in the morning. A gift card for the Bay, Sears or some place like this where I can go and get mom something nice. So when I go their Sunday, Mom will have something from me or you to open.

GOD bless and good night
Kris

The PGT are making more threats.

Hello again

I still can't believe I received a $5.00 cheque. I will never cash it.

Anyways, you know in the movies a family gives the wrong gifts to charity and they scramble to get them back only to just forget about it. Well today, I had some women's clothing to donate, as well as children's party items. They packed into two bags. And I always carry a bag with mom's things in it. Her drinks, snacks, sauces for her dinner, butter and anything else mom might need. I also put extra items in their to keep me warm. The multi layered look. As nothing else to keep me warm.

So, because I had three bags and could not carry all three with one arm. Cane in the other. I put one of the bags on top of the other one. I get to the Elizabeth Fry Society for battered women and put them down. I took my bag and placed it next to the other's. I was speaking with the people their. As I do this often. You see I collect clothing to donate.  And then after I just left. It was not until I got half way to see mom that I realized that my bag with mom's things in it was not with me. Than I realized that my North Face Jacket was in the bag. It is old. I bought it at least 6 years ago. I think I brought this up before about contacting North Face to get it fixed.  Anyways. that was a Gore-Tex jacket, waterproof. and an added warmth to my many layers.

Anyone who ever new me or has seen me, Has seen me in this jacket. Now my first reaction was to recall all the movies with this happening at Christmas. Then I thought, I have to get it back because this is all I have to keep me dry. Everything else does not work and is not even warm enough.

Then I thought of the movies again and said to myself, I hope who ever gets it needs this jacket and keeps them dry. What am I to do, go and tell them that this is my jacket. I don't think so. I gave so I will just leave it their. And I kind of new I was to give the jacket away today. I don't know why. And I really have nothing else to wear. I mean I am now without a jacket. Ok the lining was a bit torn, but the outside of it was in good shape and it still kept me dry.

Anyways the PGT is now threatening me with not helping get to see mom anymore. This is just plain old abuse. My mother relies on me to be their everyday. And it use to it. And needs it. They are saying they will not even help with the lotions. I pay for most of it. But with a $5.00 cheque I won't be able to pay for any of it. Mom is almost out of everything. Ok mom is out of most of the items. Except two of them. I don't know where I am going to get the money to buy these items. I don't even have the $151.00 dollars it takes to buy the bus pass to see her. And it is not very far from the end of the month. I don't even have the money to replace the fruit and snacks as well as her drink I lost today.

I am screwed and this is the PGT's fault. They are cowards and thieves. Corrupt as they come. "Remember it is my opinion" I just have to say this. As I am going to be lashing out at the PGT for some time to come.

Mom will not tolerate me not being their for one day. This is bother her greatly. And Oceanside now on this bit about them putting her to bed. It is pissing mom off greatly. And this is not good for mom. As mom is to be discharged and the more upset she gets the longer it will take to discharge her.

Now again the PGT. I will not stop until they are taken down and Stephen Fylnn and Chris Brettell are Fired. I will stand out front every day day in and day out. Until they get the point.

Oh they will supply me with the needed funds or they will be abusing my mother.

This is where I need your help,. Write me letters in support of this.

Oh yea  I am not going to write asking for help anymore. What is the point. I have not lied about anything and I am completely without anything. Now not even a waterproof, some what warm jacket. The jacket thing is OK though. It was to happen, whether I liked it or not.

But the other thing. This is what I get just before Christmas, threats about not being able to see my mother. Not a single bit of help from anyone out their. And I am read by many many different countries. I guess people everywhere are the same. This is why I don't really like people. In general. They are not willing to give someone who needs it, a hand.

So allot of people lately have been asking me if I am worried about getting Alzheimer's. I tell them that it doesn't matter anyways. I will die alone. As I know no one now, and no one to even call a friend. I don't talk to anyone, except mom. And I am alone all the time. I mean all the time. I have not gone out for coffee with anyone in about 6 months. If it were not for the occasional conversation I have on the bus. Or with my roommate. I don't talk to anyone and I am completely and absolutely alone.



PGT and fight for even the ability to see my mother After the PGT telling me they will help me move to White Rock and give me a lump sum of over $5.000 for a total of $10,000.00 But guess what It was an absolute lie. As they always tell everyone.

God willing mom lives for another 20 years. But, again, when mom passes away. I am going to dust myself off.  Kill myself. I will not be able to take the complete loneliness of that. At least I have mom to talk to and look forward to doing so everyday. And I sometimes don't shut up. I do amuse mom though. I make her laugh at some off the things that come out of my mouth. I am glad.

I am ready to do this now. But I wont because I have to be their for mom.

I miss having a girlfriend. Someone to speak to and do things with. Even if it is just going for a walk. After all if I had a girl friend now, she would understand I just finished my graduate degree and I am poor. No more student loans. I would be receiving one in about two weeks. But not anymore.

So GOD bless and good night

Kris

Oh yea I will not except anything less from the PGT than to call me by my new found tittle.

The PGT is being abusive, as usual

Hello again


Well I have continued to put up posters. Stating that the PGT is ruining Christmas for Mom and I. And the PGT keeps taking them down. As long as this free printer works and their is enough ink I will print more and more. And if I do not receive the help as noted, I will change it to The PGT ruined Christmas for mom and I. As well as changing the picket sign`s. I will just cross off the ing and put ed beside it.

I really don`t know what Stephen Fylnn is upset about. I mentioned it to him many times.. That I would take action. What does he expect. For me to just sit back and take the crap they dish out. Or maybe he doesn`t know me as well as he thinks he does.

I have taken action before and I will continue to do so when necessary. Not just with the PGT but with all who will get in the way of my mother`s happiness. And I, not anyone else, know what that is.

Tonight. the staff had to give mom a suppository, and mom needed to go to the washroom as soon as got their. So mom ate her dinner and we were done early, so I got the staff to get mom changed and to the washroom right away.  This way it did not interfere with the spa treatment. As it usually does. I get so far and mom is totally relaxed and ready for bed, but she needs to be changed and taken to the washroom.  Which takes the total relaxation and puts a stop to it. And then I have to get mom relaxed again. So I have to wait to do her feet after.

Well tonight is  going to be different.  I was able to completely give mom her spa treatment without having to be interrupted, or having to wait, how ever long, for mom to be taken to the washroom and changed for bed.

So the spa treatment begun. First her face, then her feet and then hands and arms. The final item is to brush her hair. And at this point tonight mom was so relaxed that everything was limp. And mom was ready for bed. Which I put her into bed tonight and she was out like a light, after I gave her our usual hugs and kisses. This is the way it always should be. This makes mom extremely happy and relaxed.

I just don`t understand why the staff don`t see this. This is what is best for mom, and I should know. Spending the time I do with her. I know what is best for mom and no one else does.

This whole thing about not putting mom to bed, would be OK if they kept their promise and walked mom. So if they have a problem, I could just call the head of the unions and file a complaint. Someone I know, gave me their numbers and knows them personally. It is always an aption. Through all of this I have met allot of influnencal people. And I keep in touch with them.

GOD bless and good night

Oh yea that is a real cheque I posted on my blog. And I received it today. I won`t be cashing it, as it costs me $1.75 to cash it.  This is what I get to live on until the end of January, and at that point I will receive another $5.00 cheque for February. If I complain, the minister tells me, that I should budget my money to make it last through the month. After being turned down for disability.

I really am tied.

Dealing with the nonsense today

Hello again

So today it was full of dealing with the nonsense of the government.

First I have had no problem saying that I have been receiving assistance and that I get the funds for the bus pass from the PGT or that I receive $150 to purchase mom drinks and snacks. Which don't even cover her drink costs. So I use my money to pay the rest. Well some how I get the money

But the first issue is social services. Tomorrow I will receive a $5.00 cheque from welfare. This is the money I am to live off of for the month of January. I am serious about this, and to prove it, tomorrow when I get home I will be taking a picture of it and posting it on this blog. Permanently.

The next issue is the PGT  and Stephen Flynn. And how he is no longer going to supply the funds for the bus pass to see mom or the $150.00 in funds for mom's drinks and snacks. Which do not even cover mom's drinks. And I use funds, that come to me some how to pay for the rest. I really don't know where it comes from but I am able to pay the rest of the cost's of mom's food and drinks. Stephen also told me he will no longer cover the cost's of mom's products I use on her, for her spa treatment.

I told him that if we don't solve this problem amicably, I will be forced to take action. And I am taking action and he is all pissed off. I think he has to learn to read, as I sent him a few emails stated this. I have been putting up posters around the office. And put 30 up tonight on my way home.

Now about Oceanside. Remember when I wrote about being told I could not walk mom anymore.
Because they were worried about their liability. Not mom's happiness or health. And how I put mom to bed at night. Well they now tell me that I can't put mom to bed anymore. They again are worried about their liability, not mom's happiness. About themselves, not the patient.

So I will no longer be pushed about by their nonsense. Tomorrow I will tell them that I will be continuing to put mom to bed and when I see the written documentation that states that a son cannot look after his mother or do things for them. It actually is really pissing me off right now. I brought up the walking of mom and how they, to date, have not walked her. No response from the staff member.

So which every one of you read this daily. Get it from a legal source. As in from the BC health minister. Fraser Health somewhere were it is written for all to see. And then show me. I am not going to do this again.

Trust me there is not going to be a situation like that at Valleyview, where I was banned from the ward. And that of the psychiatrist telling me "As long as she is under our care you do what we say" Not going to happen.

When the staff would not let me put her to bed tonight, mom reached out to me, for me to stop this. Mom was hurt and very upset. This hurt me greatly to see the pain on my mother's face. The fact that this is our time and our routine. This is what we do. As it is, from the moment I get their the staff have nothing to do, except take her to the washroom and change her.

Come on now, what is your problem. This is my mother and I will do what I want with her. Mom should not been given the drugs she has been given and mom should not be in this place to begin with. If they stopped the drugs, mom can speak and tell you what is bothering her. But no. Drugs are needed. To chemically restrain the individual. And with this comes the physical restraint.

Their is no concern for the patient in this. It is only their liability they are concerned about.

Well a few days left until Christmas and as it stands, Christmas is going to be, well not that happy.

But the best part is that I get to spend it with mom and be with her for the day.

I just wanted to shower mom with gifts and to maybe have some for myself for once. It has been, GOD only knows the last time I received a gift. But as long as mom gets allot of them. It is OK.

Well I have not a cent left to my name. And I don't have anyway of getting mom anymore drinks or snacks or even cook her dinner. As she is not eating much. And the staff are watching to see how much liquid mom is taking in. Well day after day I get their and mom is so thirsty it is not funny, and she has that mung on the side of her mouth from being so dehydrated.

I am going now, I am starving and nothing to eat. Really, nothing at all in my home. I don't even have any tea.

I am getting depressed again and I can't do this anymore.

GOD  bless and good night

Kris

6 days left and it is looking crappy

Hello again

Today when I got to the hospital, the nurse pulled me aside and told me they had to put mom on intravenous as she is dehydrated. And they don't know why.

Now mom is not happy about having this in her arm.  Well, it is the protection that surrounds the tube and needle, that bothers mom the most. Mom immediately wanted me to remove this and take out the intravenous. But I couldn't and wouldn't, I explained it was for her own good and what it was for. Mom understood, but wanted it out anyway. You see, mom is right handed and that is the arm they put it in

Now this pissed mom off, greatly. Enough to make her punch me. When I arrived their, before dinner. I was doing something and then wham, I was punched in the face. This happened at least 6 times tonight. Mom is mad and I would rather her take it out on me than the staff. But each time I was busy doing something for her, and she caught me off guard.

Mom has Dementia and part of the condition is the mood swings and the angry. I have seen this in her many times. But mom has never punched me like this before. I am OK. She has a good swing, I am a little sore though. But mom did not hit the staff. This is a good thing.  I did not even tell the staff any of this. But one of the staff members saw the first hit, when I got their. Everyone rushed over and I just told them I am OK and it is OK. Mom has a good right hook.

Today, was a crying day for me, I just could not stop crying. OK I did while on the buses, but as soon as I got off the water works started again. Of course I held back while visiting with mom.

It is just that it is a few days away from Christmas and I made the mistake of walking through the mall and well it hit me very hard. That I have nothing and I can't make my mother a great Christmas. And shower her with gifts and a few for myself.

You know, I love my mother, but it is hard to watch her like this and to watch her loose a little of her abilities. I am there and I don't stop from the moment I get their and until I go. I need to get their earlier so I can just hand out with her. Or go over to the hospital or the other flours and check them out.

I am going now. I am just to depressed to write. I was not even going to write anything for a while. But I needed to let y'all know what is happening  with her.

GOD bless and good night

Kris

Let us remember our loved one's and what we can do for them.

Hello again

Computer worked this morning
printed out allot of posters
Put them up from main train hub to the PGT's office
Continued to pray for a great Christmas for Mom and I
No presents, no nothing
One week to Christmas from today
Can't take it anymore
Mom and I deserve better.
I work hard for mom
I am an advocate for mom.
I am down to one pair of jeans with no pockets

So I am going to give you all some background on me. Their is over 2 years worth of blogs that I have to convert and put up here. Wordpress shut me down, because Riverview threatened to sue me. They have no backbone. And it is from the beginning. So one day when I can find a program that will convert this I will put all the blogs up.

Anyway, I use to drink and smoke pot. Allot of pot and allot of beer. But it has been many, many, many years since that person. I have change so much. But I quit to be a better person. After my grandfather passed away from Alzheimer's. I needed to find a cure and something to help stave off or prolong one's cognitive abilities. Then dad got it. Yes it. There is no other way to describe this horrible disease.

I went back to school to finish off what I started in the states. Have done this now. I have to thank this one pastor for getting me back into my Christianity. I have always been a Christian. No one else in my family is.

I have walked, hitch hiked, taken buses, trains, rented cars, bummed rides. All to see my dad and mother. I have been all over the lower mainland to visit my parents and spend time with them. I have spent, thousands of dollars on my parents. And I don't care about it. I have learned that money is not most important thing in life. I found that family, love, and kindness. And the most important thing of all is the journey on our way through life. To help those how are in need, to help those who cannot help themselves.

I have learned to stand up for what is right, no matter what anyone thinks of it or me. To do what ever is necessary to do what is right. To fight for the right of my mother and others, who cannot speak for themselves and who are targets of the whole medical system and the Public Guardian and Trustee of BC. Who do nothing to help them, only warehouse them until they die.

No treatments plans, no treatment, period. Just drugs and more drugs. Physical and chemical restraint.

Don't you all think that after 10 years of being around Alzheimer's and Dementia, as well as the medical community. That I would be an expert on what is going on within this medical community that deals with Alzheimer's and Dementia.  Don't you think I have seen everything that goes on. I have! And more. I don't say anything, as I have ADSAAC to use to stop abuse.

I have to be care full. I have my mother to take care of and be their for her. And combining my education, with my first hand knowledge of Alzheimer's and Dementia, as well as my continuous research on this subject. I would consider myself an expert!

I have seen first hand three of my family members go through this. And two of them dying of this disease. I have seen more than any of you want to see. To see one of your family members die of this disease is hard enough but to see two of them and a third with Dementia. And watching my mother's life change so much from who I know her as. Yes I have been hardened by this experience, but I have more feelings and emotions now than I every have had in my life.

I am more alive than ever  before. I am seeing everything for the first time. I see the journey and everything along the way. I take life moment by moment. And I see the need to help those less fortunate. Yes that is including myself.

I am not selfish in anyway. I would just like clothing, something nice for a change. Music in my life that does not sound crappy. Like all of these cheap stereos sound like. I love good music. But my ears are so sensitive, that they cannot handle the cheap systems. I never, when I have driven, listened to the radio or stereo in my car. As the poor quality of the sound system, gave me a headache and hurt my ears. I cannot even listen to my ear buds. I cannot even put anything over my ears. I have had this problem all my life. When I hear music the way it is to be heard, my soul comes to life. I feel the relationship between the cords and the song it's self. I am wrapped up in the emotions that were intended to be heard.

This is something I have searched for, for sometime now. I have not been able to afford this though. I love watching movies and certain TV shows. But no TV.

I am now praying again and asking for help to make this a wonderful Christmas for my mother, and maybe me.

GOD bless and good night

8 days to Christmas and nothing in the house

Hello again

Today when I went into town, all the posters were not up where I put them. So they were taken down. And when I got home tonight I started to print more copies and I got to 5 pages and the printer decided it did not want to work anymore. And I have absolutely no money to go and make copies. I need to put up more posters tomorrow, for Monday morning. When the staff of the PGT come to work. From the Water front station.

I will be making my picket sign tomorrow morning. Because Monday I will be out in front of the PGT building. Well across the street, so they can see. I have nothing, so there is nothing to loose by doing this.

The posters, start out with Scrooge on the top. And then states, the PGT are ruining Christmas for my mother and I. Then an email address. I really want to print out at least 50 copies to put up tomorrow. I try the people upstairs to see if they have a printer.

So today I am starting to feel real stress about Christmas, with only 8 days left. I don't know what to do.

I need to make this and all Christmas's the greatest for mom. I will be their for Christmas dinner. They are having it at noon. I can eat as well. But I have to pay a fee, of $10.00.. Well this is not going to happen, as I just mentioned I have not even a small amount of change in my pocket. I had to use the last $2.00 I had to buy laundry soap. The cheapest I could find. Mom wants one of my white t-shirts so I have to clean them and bring it for her tomorrow. So laundry it is I am doing while I write this.

You all could check my closet to see exactly how many articles of clothing, I actually have. My closet is becoming very empty. Cooked oats is dinner for me tonight. And tonight mom barely touched her dinner. More rice and mom is sick of the bland, boring rice. She gets it so often, I tell them stop giving mom so much rice.

You see when I go to see mom, Mom wants all of my attention. I completely understand this. As she gets no attention at all during the day and then here I come. Mom does not even want me to talk with anyone else but here. I, again, can completely understand this. From the moment I get their until I leave I am right beside her. And I can't even leave or mom gets really made at me. I made this mistake once. And not anymore. I wait until mom goes to the washroom, then I go, no matter how long it has been since I last went. I also think that it is not fair, that mom has to wait and wait to go.

By the way I think there is allot of reverse sexism in the world. If I was a single women, doing what I am doing and barely making it. Not knowing when my next meal will come from. Or where the next couple of dollars will come from to get mom some fruit and drinks and snacks. I would showered with help..

But I am not and I don't even get a good job Kris. What I get is, Get a job Kris, that is the women`s job . I would never do that. I don`t have the time for that. How can you spend so much time traveling.Does not become to much. Why don`t you take time off. Yea right, you don`t do this, you don`t give her your clothing or buy her underwear and clothing. etc.....  Well I do all of this and more.

If I were the women, I would have more help than I could ever need.  And then some. But I am the son, who loves his mother. And I have two sisters who would never do what I am doing and they barely go to see mom. Now this is our dying mother. And yes she is dying. There is no doubt about this. What happens with Alzheimer`s and Dementia is they die prematurely. Early for their lives. And there is no cure for this, all we can do is try to extend their lives and to make what time they have left on this planet, great. I don`t even know from one day to the next if mom is going to be OK. That is how fast things can change with these diseases. No one knows.

I would never forgive myself if I did not spend as much time as possible with my mother and do everything I could possibly do for her.

See this is why I ask for help. It is Christmas next weekend. My mother and your mother deserves the best Christmas possible. Would you not do this for your mother. I know you would.

Really, it is GOD who said Love one another, give until you have nothing left to give. And then give even more. Be like the good Samaritan.Not like everyone else who walked right by the man down on his luck and beaten by the world around him. Ready to give up on life, but his mother is their and he needs to be here for her.

This is the time of the year, when all our hearts should open up to the downtrodden, as I am. I am doing the best I can. But sometimes it is not good enough. And my mother has to go without. And I am just dead to the world at times.

I don`t even have a TV, or stereo. My clothing are falling off of me, and are falling apart.

I beg and plead with you all one more time.

Please help, with anything.

GOD bless and good night

Kris

9 days of Christmas and not a thing in site

Hello again

Today I was late getting to see mom. As I was spending time in Vancouver putting up posters around the PGT. I printed out 50. Wait a minute, how can he afford to print these poster's. Well my roommate, has an older printer, but the ink has dried out. Now I have been working with computers since 1984 and I have learned a few things over the years. Just take the ink cartridges out and put them into a baggy. Now place the baggy in hot water. The bottom of the ink cartridges, in the water, let sit for a few hours. And then the ink is working. Put back in and done.

This is what I did And I printed out the 50 pages and tomorrow I will print out another 50. So today, I put up the posters around the PGT office. Did not get everywhere done. Only down one side of the street, and around the building and just went crazy down the alley. And allot of the posters, right where the staff can see them when they leave.

I am going to put them up tomorrow, down to the water front station. Here their is 3 skytrains and a train as well as a sea bus. Now there thousands of people who go through this station every day.  And then on Sunday up Granville Street. And Granville Street is a main hub for everything that is going on. It is where everyone in Vancouver goes, when they are down town. And allot of the expensive stores are on Granville.

So I am just starting with the PGT. Yes there is only this coming week. But I have to do what I have to do. And if this is what it takes to have a great Christmas for mom and I, then so be it. I am not sure what is next, starting Monday. But I will know before the weekend is out. I have picket signs made with the same message on it.

Well tonight mom still has not eaten much in weeks now. I really don't know what to do. No one is doing anything about it. Again the only way to solve this is for me to cook for her. She eats allot more, at least.

So tonight, I gave mom another shirt of mine. I knew when I put it on, before I left, that mom was going to get it. So I took it off my back and left it for her. I am glad I wore a t-shirt under the shirt. I only have, well about 4 shirts left to wear. As I have said anything mom wants, mom gets. That is including my last shirt, if that is what she wants. That is just the way it is.

Oh yea, tonight, mom waited for over 45 minutes to go to the washroom and get changed. There is a certain schedule mom and I are on. And when I wash and put lotion on mom's feet, mom is ready for bed. Well I first, put hot water on her feet, then the cleanser, I clean it with a cloth, and after I pour to large water bottles worth of hot water over them and at this point mom is completely relaxed. Rubber legs and all. Mouth wide open type of relaxed. Then tonight they take her to the washroom and get her changed. When I am done with her feet is not the time to take her to the washroom. I really have no problems with the staff, except this is one problem I have.

I did say at the beginning, when mom first got their. I would not write anything negative unless their is something to write about.

Anyway. I really need to prove to you about what I am saying. So her is where mom is:

Mary Schmuland
Peace Arch Hospital
White Rock, BC
Canada.
The Weatherby Pavilion

I don't know the phone number, sorry.

I have to go now. But that is where mom is and my information is on the blog.

GOD bless and good night.

Kris

My letter to Santa Clause

Dear Santa

We do not remember days, we remember moments

Well, Santa, if I could have anything I like than this is it.

I would like to win the lottery. I tell you why, Santa. First, 10% is gone to charity. Then I would buy/build a green/healthy house. Set up to be mom friendly. When I say mom friendly, what I mean is wide hall ways, open concept. Put in a elevator

Make mom's bedroom very large. With a king size bed. So what ever way mom rolls she will never fall out. And then re-do her bathroom. And put in that bathtub, that has a door in it for seniors to easily get in and out of. With one of those lift's that put mom in and out of the tub, as well as one for the toilet.

And have the kitchen a open concept area, with room around the island. And bars around the walls, so mom can pull herself around. She does this at Oceanside. This way she can move herself around the ward.

And put in a great exercise room, and hire a physiotherapist, to get mom walking again. As well as a speech therapist, to get mom talking again. I know she can do both. And will do both.

Let mom pick out the furniture. because I am caught up between classical and modern. And have a backyard full of beautiful plants and tree's for the wildlife to live. A water fall or two and a stream.

Now for me, I really don't need much I would like a nice TV, a great stereo, to fill the house with beautiful music. And my geek stuff, you know, computer's and stuff.

Well a car/ SUV so I can take mom around and do things with her. To make sure she has a fantastic life.  That she deserves, and has not had so far.

And trust me, I don't want anything expensive. Just a Honda Pilot, so it will last forever.

Well Santa, this is my dream.

But to start with Santa, To make this Christmas fantastic, full of presents for both mom and I. And treats, Dips, breads, cheese's and fruits etc... etc... So mom and I can hang out.

Trust me I don't get the time to just hang out with mom. I love doing what I do for her. But I would like to just hang out for a change. To maybe take her somewhere. Not to be busy,

Gift cards are what we need. For the grocery stores, The Bay, Sears, London Drugs etc....

It is only 9 days until Christmas and it is still looking very bleak for us. Mom does not deserve this.

The PGT Stephen Flynn, wrote me an email today. And in it he stated he had a professional relationship; with my mother. Well first a relationship is two ways. And one would have to speak with, see, and converse with the other person.

Stephen Flynn has never even met my mother. Never spoke to her ever. He has only spoke with the social worker, whose opinion about mom is obscure and without most of the truth about how mom is.

And Stephen tells me they have a relationship. Actually, it is I who has the relationship with the PGT, I am the one who fights with them for the rights of my mother. Who tells them what my mother's wishes are. Who actually cares about my mother's welfare.

And I am the only one who knows my mother's wants and needs. No one else can communicate with her. I know what is best for her. No one else does. It has been proven over and over again.

I know mom wants a great Christmas and so do I. It is about time we do. Mom's clothing keeps disappearing, and I have none left.

Mom is still not eating dinner. Maybe just a very small amount of it. I try to get mom to eat. Again it seems mom only likes it when I make her dinners.
 
I just want to make mom happy and give mom the things and holidays that she made for us, while growing up. The best holidays. Full of great food and presents and happy memories. I don't know how long my mother can hold on to her present memories or cognitive abilities. But I would really like to make them, well as precious as possible. To have her smile from ear to ear. To bring happiness to her for a change. Considering mom is locked up and committed at the moment and can't go anywhere.

I really don't know what I am trying to say here. I really do love my mother. She has done so much for me all my life. Mom has always been their for me, through all sickness's. And all my sports events.

I really am saying that I would appreciate all the help one can muster. I am a caregiver for my mother and this will never change.

So Please help make this a great Christmas.

My address and my other information is on the blog.

GOD Bless and good night

Kris

We do not remember days, we remember moments

Could not stop being depressed today

Hello again

Today was not a good day. I am feeling very guilty and depressed. That I can't show mom a great Christmas as she deserves. As the PGT are now Scrooge.

Tonight I could not stop hugging mom, I am feeling so bad that I cannot decorate her room well. That at this time, I see no Christmas day. I will be their and be their with the largest smile on my face. But I would love to, when I arrived at the hospital, have with me a large bag of gifts. And dressed up, so mom can see me dressed.

As it is, mom is still giving me heck about wearing the same thing, day after day.

And tonight on the way home, I was watching a movie, on my none working paper weight of a phone. I still can use it for entertainment as long as I have wifi. Well this attractive women. I think is way out of my league, asked what I was watching, I told her, Hugo. And asked if she wanted to watch it with me. She did, I shared my headset. We talked on the way, as well.

They she asked me my name. And my response, has been for awhile now is this. My name does not matter. I am an unemployed therapist, by choice. Who is a caregiver to my mother who has Dementia and lung cancer. I spend 5-6 hours a day traveling and 2-3 hours a day with her. While I am their, I don't just sit their, I am busy until I put her to bed.

And you know the poverty line, well I am so far below that, I could not even afford to buy you a coffee.

This usually sends them running, tonight she just watched the movie until it was time for her to get off the bus. But the movie was only partially done. I told her that I will pause it and not watch it until the next time I see her. She just said don't bother.

Well I was either a complete asshole. But I do it politely. I have nothing, and nobody close to me and no friends. I don't know why these really attractive women are flirting with me. This is new to me. The thinner I get the more they come out of the wood work. It is nice though.  Well in the last year or so, I have lost about 70 lbs.

I really can't afford to even buy them a coffee.

Mom tonight, just loved the fact that I could not stop giving her a hug. And mom was reaching out for hugs as well. Mom liked this

Well today was a Christmas Party at the hospital. I was invited, but I thought I would let my sister have this day. If they even bothered to go. Which I don't know. I will have to phone tomorrow. I hope they did, for mom's sake. I will be their Christmas day. From around 11:00 am until,well 7 pm. I do know on Christmas day. They are eating at 12:00 noon. So mom will probably want a nape after dinner. I can have dinner as well, I have to pay. But I don't usually eat at that time of the day. Besides it has never worked out in the past. So I will just help mom eat. Mom thinks both plates are hers and it is hard to eat and help her as well. But really, I don't eat at that time of the day. When I have groceries So while mom is having a nap, I see what's up in White Rock and South Surrey on Christmas day. We will see.

And speaking with this women today, was the first time I have had a conversation with someone in a while. Besides my mother. It was good, and nice. But the problem is I just don't shut up. As it is when I am with mom. I make mom laugh all the time. Well I trip, I make a mess, I do goofy things. And I admit, I am very weird. I like it like this. I am different and it is OK.

From the moment I get their, I am talking and singing and doing strange things to make mom laugh. I tell mom everything. No difference as when mom did not have this disease. I just speak to her normally. Other's don't get it. This is the way all should speak to everyone.

Tonight I eat oats and brown sugar. We will see. At least it is food. Not like the last two weeks.

So I have to go to bed, I have some important things to do today. And if they get done. I will let you know.

GOD bless and good night.

Kris

I am very angry and can't take it anymore

Hello again

I would like to first start out by giving you some holiday safety items

Unplug everything before you leave

Don't put any of your present box's out in the trash. It is the best way for a thief to see what goodies you got for Christmas. Take them to the recycling centre.

Now tonight. I was waiting for the bus to come home from downtown and this attractive girl says to me.. Aren't you cold. I said, but yes I am. Shouldn't you put something warmer on. And my response, the polite one, was  I would if I could, but this is all I have, so this is what I wear. I wanted to tell her that yea, I am and what business is it of yours. Go away. That is exactly what I wanted to say. But I gave the polite answer. She did not know what to say after that. She just walked away.

Now, I am very cold, and it is no thanks to the PGT, and Stephen Flynn and his breaking of his promises that leaves me cold and mom to be without a Christmas. I am pissed off like crazy at him, and i was entertaining thoughts which I never think of. I still am thinking about them, But they will never happen. I do not believe in violence.  But I do believe in action and it is time to take action, if I actually want a Christmas for mom, and to get warm clothing, for me.

If I don't do something about it, I will be a chicken shit and not worth anything. As it is I see that I am as worthless as I thought I was. Well just by the lack of response I have been receiving. Thanks, makes me feel great. NOT

At least I can admit it, but my mother does not deserve this treatment. Do not hold the sins of the son against the mother.

My mother has been the kindest and warmest person I know. Yes everyone says this.

I need to give her the best Christmas every and next year even better. What also bugs me is that everyone their knows mom goes to bed at 7PM and we are on a schedule. And if I put her to bed latter than 7 mom gets mad, And tries to take a swing at me.

The problem is, that I start getting mom completely relaxed and she has to go to the bathroom, right after dinner. And no one takes her. Then after she is relaxed, after I do her feet they come to take her to the washroom and get changed. At this point, mom is almost ready for bed And very relaxed, I mean extremely relaxed.

As tonight, they noticed how relaxed and ready for bed she was and took her late. And while she was with the staff, in the washroom, Mom must of been pissed off, because it was so long waiting for this. She punched one of the staff members. Look I am sorry mom punched her. And I did tell mom,please don't punch anyone, as the more you get mad, the longer we will be here You need to be calm. So we can get you out of here. And on the other hand, I have mentioned many, many times that mom needs to go after dinner and mom has a schedule. Last night they gave me shit, for putting lotion on her hands and arms, before they took her to get changed. I did say that we were waiting for along time and I have things I need to get done, before I put her to bed by 7PM. and this waiting so long gets mom and I both upset.

Now getting mom up and walking, well what they told me was a bunch of who-wee. Mom needs to walk and it is I who is going to do this for her. I will need to have a meeting with someone.

Well, in the last three weeks I have only had one conversation with anyone, besides my mother. It is not good. And I find my need to not be touched and having my space is increasing ten fold.

I just don't see where this is going. What I am to do. Is the question I am asking myself and seeking. I wait for the miracle, and I wait on GOD.

I have never been this stressed out and have never had such a bad Christmas season to date. Yes I know it is 10 days away. But I need to get help now.

Anyways, I still do not bring this pissed off attitude into the hospital with me. It is left at the door. I put on a smile. And just be as polite as possible before I even get to the hospital.

So please, I am desperately seeking.

GOD bless and good night

Kris

11 days before Christmas and I am freaking out.

Hello again

Tonight mom was giving me shit, because I am wearing the same sweater for the last, well. 40 days. And she was upset that I am just wearing the same clothing day after day after day. She knows the only thing I change is the Tee-shirt to one of the four that I own.

I just said to her, this is what I have and I have to money to buy anything else. The PGT Stephen Flynn has broken more promises than I can count.  Or has lied about what he tells me. And says one thing and does another and denies that he said anything at all. I should have $10,000.00 now, but Stephen Flynn of the PGT cannot tell the truth, or keep his word.

So I just said, yes it is the same thing, but what is most important is that I am here and get here to see you. That is the most important thing for me. Yes I have been wearing the same things for months and months now, the same two pair of jeans and well the same pull over soft shell. It is OK, It does the trick. Sort of. But I won't tell mom how cold I actually am. It is very, very cold out.

And yes these jeans are falling apart. They are tearing away. One side of one of the two pairs is riped down the seam on the left thigh. The other the pocket is riping on the outside and both pockets are shot. Can't put anything in them.

So tonight mom had roast beef. This she liked and this is good. But this is the only meal she ate completely in weeks. And who knows tomorrow what it will be for dinner. I really wish I could just cook her meals and bring them to her.

Mom is really upset that this is all I have for clothing. She is use to seeing me in suits and ties and dressed up all the time. But, you know times change. One day I hope to be wearing better clothing again. But in the mean time, this is what I wear. Cold or not, dressed like a bum, or homeless person is all OK. As long as I get to go see my mother. It does not matter, as I have said I will be their no matter what. I will be their.

So Christmas is only, well less than two weeks away, and I should be ready and have all of what is needed, but not this year, nor last year. It is a shame that this is happening. Mom deserves so much more than this nothing of a Christmas we are going to have. This year I had a plan and that was to give mom allot of gifts. Since most of her clothing is gone. And mom needs new things. I have been window shopping and well I have found allot of things for mom at the Bay, on sale. And yes window shopping for myself.

Since I am rarely eating I am getting smaller and smaller. For the first time, I think in my life. I looked into the mirror the other day. And I noticed I was getting smaller. I went Crap I am smaller.

Well I have gone from a size 38 pants to a size 34 and I went from a X-Large shirt to a medium. This is a first to me. I have been thin before,  But I never noticed it before as I did the other day. It does make for an interesting dilemma.

So time has come for me to go to bed. I am really having a hard time staying awake. The not eating thing is catching up with me.

GOD bless and good night
\
Kris

12 days of Christmas, and not a creature in the house

Hello again

It is cold out their. And there are dark and lonely days ahead for me. There are 12 days until Christmas and I have nothing to make my mother's Christmas special. Also I really froze out there tonight. I don't have enough of any articles of clothing or jacket to keep me warm out their.

I wish mom would eat more. Tonight mom barely ate anything. She did not even finish her lemon pie. It was an OK dinner tonight. No flavour though.

I really wish I could afford to bring mom some home cooked meals. At least she ate them. It has been to long now, since mom ate a whole meal. Mom is becoming increasingly tired.

I, when I leave White Rock am just completely depressed. I need to find an answer to this problem, of no Christmas presents, no groceries to make mom dinners, and no anything for Christmas.

I hate this feeling of nothingness of feeling as though there is a very large whole in my life.

I will tell you that I leave these feelings at the door when I get to the hospital to visit mom.

Can anyone even understand what I am saying.

I don't know, since there is becoming less and less people reading my blog daily. Only 19 of you read me yesterday, I really wish everyone would understand my commitment to my mother. And how it is important for me to shower mom with gifts this Christmas.

I have nothing to give her, bring her, do for her, and over all I just want it to be the best Christmas ever..

I send my best to y`all and may you find it in your hearts to send it my way. Anything, gift cards, groceries at my door. Cheque`s in the mail box etc..... etc .......

GOD bless and good night

Kris

12 days left

Less and less

Hello Again

I was speaking with a bus driver friend, on my way home tonight and he asked me where I was coming from. I told him White Rock. And he asked me if I go everyday. Yes I told him. And he said that I am a good son. I just replied, that it is not that I am a good son. My mother deserves my time and attention. It is my  mother who is a good mother. She raised me and it is my turn to take care of her. Without even thinking about it. I have no reservations about doing this either.

After he said to me. Now a days no one would do what you do. They are to selfish and to into themselves. They are all about me, me, me. That is OK I said. I do this as I do not know how many years or months I have left with my mother and I plan on doing whatever it takes to do all I can for her.

Now that includes begging you all for help this Christmas season, asking for assistance so I can make mom's Christmas great. To help me keep warm and dry, while traveling to see my mother everyday. To make sure mom eats everyday. And not for me to force her to eat that hospital food. I just can't do it.

To see this Christmas full of presents and of good cheer. To see a huge smile on my mother's face, to see her full, To see her eat everyday.

And for me to be warm and dry, both my feet and the rest of me. To maybe have something for myself for once. To maybe have a Turkey dinner, at home, after I visit mom. To maybe have something, or allot of presents under the tree.

Maybe a great Christmas for a change. I am injured and I hurt all the time. And it is getting worse. But it is OK. I can deal with this.

I have two nicknames.

1: DARKMAN

2: HOUSE

Pet peeves

People answering the phone while we are talking
Someone not saying thanks when I open the door for them.
People walking to slow and not thinking of the other's behind them, taking up the entire isle.
People not understanding that I only have a few years left with my mother. And I do this because of this. And my father and grandfather died of this horrible disease

It is a nasty disease, when you watch your mother lose the ability to use a fork and knife, or even a spoon, To watch her not be able to even lift a drink up to her mouth. As mom has done in the last few months. Gone! To not be able to even take herself to the washroom, and have to rely on other's to do this. And wait and wait, for someone to help. As it has been for sometime now. Mom goes to bed at 7PM and their are things that have to be done first, before I put her to bed.

To know that your mother cannot speak, properly, for no one to understand her. To see that frustration on her face, as this happens. Totally have to rely on the assistance of other's. And when they don't care, mom has to suffer.

To have someone, completely take over your fiances, and don't care what you think or not. And not allowing one to even have the basic of necessities or to even eat something good. As the PGT and Stephen Flynn does.

To know that someday, your mother might not even know who you are. To feel extreme, emotional and mental pain, as one watches this happen to their loved one.

This is what I deal with everyday. And yes, their are days when it is hard to even hold back the tears, while visiting. And then crying after leaving. Because it is so painful. Which I have done so many times.

I have learned to do so many things over the years, as in a manicure, some makeup, facials, learning to communicate with mom even though I use to not be able to understand her. Caring and compassion. Loving unconditionally, without thinking about it.

I have never been moved to action like this before. To self sacrifice. Wait a minute, it is not self sacrificing anything. It is being their for someone, something I was not very good at this before. I am learning more and more about myself everyday, and I am finally changing for the good.

I will have to go now, I need to get up Early, and it is 1AM  and I think I wrote enough.

GOD bless and good night

Kris

Don't forget Stephen Fylnn of the PGT is a major cause of our frustration.

I am freaking out

Hello again

Yes I am freaking out. It is two weeks before Christmas and I am loosing my mind, I am becoming extremely upset, I am getting grumpy. Irritated at the smallest thing.

But I will leave all this at the door when I get to the hospital to visit mom. I have never been in situation before. Even last year, which sucked, was better than this year. I was able to do a little bit for mom.

But this year. STEPHEN FLYNN OF THE PGT is being a very nasty, nasty man. Grinch, Scrooge and a none person. I thought at times I have no feelings, But he beats me in this category.

The PGT is even worse than ICBC, believe or not. Yes it is true. At least with ICBC you know they are going to screw you over. And everything that comes out of their mouth is just BS. But the PGT will try to be your friend and then behind your back, will screw you, and then deny that they did it, or even said what they did.

Stephen Flynn of the PGT does not care about my mother or anyone. Even though the PGT spent over $50,000.00 on a companion service, after taking a van away from me, And me telling him I will take care of my mother.  That is allot of money and Stephen Flynn wants to do it again. I told him, I don't think so. Do not ever use my mother's money like this again. As a matter of fact the PGT should return these funds. It was not necessary to spend this, when I was available to do everything for mom, as I do know. Though mom had a companion, I was the one who bought mom her bra's and underwear. And everything else.

My mother does not even have the drink she likes, I can not even by her fruit and snacks. Mom, everyday, lately, has been asking for fruit and her drink. And I do not know what to say or even do. I don't think I have never not had a juice and fruit for her. Mom loves cheese and crackers, and I can't even provide this for her. At least when I have this, I can give mom something, when she does not want to eat what the hospital provides. And she eats something. Well what I do feed her is healthy and nutritious. Mom has had these snacks for years and years now. I have always made sure I bought her this before anything else.

Now for me, this whole situation is really driving me crazy. I am not sleeping. OK 3 hours a night. I need to be up at 7 AM. To try to get something done. To try to get some money to buy mom her snacks and drinks.

I know I am being a pain in the ass, but I am desperate for help, of any kind. Gift Cards for grocery stores, Clothing stores or just help.

I will loose my mind if I cannot make this Christmas great for mom.

Yes their is allot of things I need. Warm clothing and groceries. A nice jacket and sweaters. Remember, my mom will end up with them, eventually. But I would get some time out of them.

I am going to leave you with this.

The good Samaritan, and everyone else who passed him by, while he was in need.

Our Lord and saviour was born this month and has come to forgive us all for our sins. To make us clean. And to tell us that love and giving is what it is all about.

I am leaving now, Going to try to sleep. I know I will just lay their for hours. Oh well.

GOD bless and good night

Kris

Better day but still depressed by not having a Christmas

Hello again

I would first like to get the record straight. The PGT is not a separate corporation. It was set up to look like this, as the government was getting sued to often. They are accountable to the fiance minister of the government of BC.

Stephen Fylnn is about to ruin Christmas for mom and I. To many promises and not carrying through with any of them. Basically, all lies, and more lies. Just the way it is with Stephen.

The PGT never keeps any promise.

The PGT ruined Christmas for my mother and I last year and are doing it again.

The PGT is accountable to no one.

The PGT abuse their power.

The PGT abuses their clients.

I asked Stephen Fylnn for help, which he promised and as usual just said no. Again.

Christmas is a few weeks away and I am getting nervous, that I will not be able to give mom the Christmas she deserves.

Again, I don't know how long mom is going to be around. Usually, people with Dementia, go about 5-10 years before this horrible disease takes them. Mom is about 7 years into it. And if I have anything to do with it. Mom will live for another 20 years. GOD willing.

When this happens. I will be alone. The only time of the day I am not alone is when I am with mom. Otherwise, I am alone. I do not speak with anyone. I guess this is why I can't shut up when I am with mom. I just talk and talk and talk.

Mom just listens, and laughs at me. Mom speaks back to me. But mainly, laughs at me. I am a klutz, I walk into things, fall over, trip on nothing, drop things. And I can spill a drink from across the room, without trying.

I love my mother dearly, and want to be their for her all the time. And do whatever I can for her. And make every moment count with her. And to make every holiday as special as possible.

This is what Stephen Flynn of the PGT,  does not understand. He thinks he has all the answers.

Except one thing. HE HAS NEVER MET MY MOTHER. How can he know anything about her.

This is starting to suck greatly. I am becoming very depressed and anxious. I am nervous that nothing is going to happen.

I am worried that it will be a repeat of last year, Nothing, present-less Christmas, Thanks to Stephen Flynn. One year already was ruined and it could be year two.

I am sick and tired of dealing with this nonsense from the PGT. It is time they start treating people with respect and dignity.

To keep their promises.

To stop abusing their clients.

I am going to go now. I don't know anymore.

I am just desperately wanting help to make my mother's and my Christmas special.

Please find it in your heart and soul to reach out and spread the love that is to be done at this time of the year.

GOD bless and good night

Kris

Christmas is here and I have nothing

Hello again

I will first like to say that I can be self deprecating and self loathing. I can be depressing and very wordy. But it is just to make my point. And this is how I right. I write what comes into my head and put it down here. I just write.

So the problem I am now having is the fact that when mom has to go to the washroom, it takes forever for someone to take her. Then in the mean time. Mom goes in her depends. Which makes a mess and mom gets very mad at me because I am not doing anything about it. I tell the staff, several times, yet it is the same response, just give us 5 minutes. That 5 minutes means over 1/2 hour. They all know they have to do nothing for mom once I am their and that mom goes to bed at 7 PM. I really don't see how difficult this is.  They have to do everything for all the other patients, but not mom. I do everything, except this. If I could take her to the washroom, I would. But mom is modest, and does not want me to change her. I have to cover her legs with a blanket and then take the blanket off after I put her to bed and put her cover over her. Then I pull the blanket off.

Now I have not been able to bring mom and dinner, and she is barely eating what they serve. Again, hospital food, bland, tasteless.  And it is to loud in their for mom. I am going to try moving mom to another place to see if this helps.

I need to start bringing mom dinner again. I just need funds. This the PGT is becoming a pain in the ass. He thinks, he does not tell me things. I do remind him though.

He makes promises and does not keep them, As usual. I can't live like this. Christmas is two weeks away and I have absolutely nothing.

All the world is buying gifts and I watch this everyday. And I am becoming more and more depressed as the days go buy. This is the second year that it seems that Christmas is going to be crap. I can't have a recreation of last year. A nothing Christmas.

I don't know how long I have with her. 3, 5, months. 3,4 10 years. I just don't know. Due to the nature of the disease, no one knows.

I just can't do this again. Mom means everything to me, I will give anything to make her happy. But I find myself in a situation where I need real help from someone, anyone, everyone.

To all who are out their, I implore you, I beg you, I am on my knee's asking for help. As this is for my mother, not me. OK a little bit for me.

The PGT makes promises, and I should have warm clothing. Clothing period. I am freezing, my fingers especially my fingers and hands.

I am thin this year. And I don't have the extra pounds to keep me warm anymore. Wow. What a difference. I have never been cold like this. Burrr....

My jacket is now riping and I paid allot for it, many, many years ago now. It is waterproof. But not warm. I wear layers and layers. But I am not warm. My legs are even cold. This is a new feeling for me.

If the guy at the PGT kepted his word, Mom would have a great Christmas, I would have a phone, and clothing. And I would be able to bring mom dinners.

I try to do the right thing all the time. I don't even swear. I am nice to all. OK except those who do mom wrong. Then I go after them. I am very polite. I am a very well mannered individual.

I am writing to all who might be able to help me. Really I just need a little help. Oh all right, allot of help. To get things going. Well mainly to make my mother's Christmas great.

I can't even buy my mother, a bow, to put on a gift. I can't even afford a double bubble.

This is why I am not doing well this year. Last Christmas was a bust, and I have no clue how long I have mom around for. It could be 3,6, months. Or 3,6 years. I do need to make every moment count.

This is what I believe to be the right thing to do. I can work after I get fixed, when every that will be. Because I can't even sit for a hour and then my hip and leg starts to get extremely sore and then my leg goes into spasm's.

On my travels, I have a bus, for 50 minutes, a skytrain for 20 minutes and then another bus for another 40 minutes. I cannot sit for all this time. I have to stand while on the skytrain. And this is uncomfortable. To say the least.

Well I, again, ask for your hearts to open up and spread some kindness in my mother's and my direction

I to go,

GOD Bless and good night

Kris Schmuland

Oh yea my address is on the blog.

I was late today

Hello again

So this morning I woke up at 7AM, as someone was to come and drop off a bunch of older computers. You say what. Well one of the things I do, is take older computers and make better one's out of what I have and then donate them to church groups, senior residences etc... So far I have donated over a dozen computes. I have a continuous add on Craisglist.

And well, this gentlemen, said he has a bunch of computers, monitors and printers. This is good I told him as I have orders. You know what I mean. I could of had more computers but I do not have a car.Which makes it a little difficult. But this is OK.

So anyway, I was up early and waited until 2PM and no show. I just wish people in this case would do as they say.

When I get their to late. Mom does not want to eat. Mom has a built in clock and she knows exactly what time to have her spa treatment done. Well mom is in bed by 7PM or she gets grumpy. I have to be their before 5PM and get her dinner into her before 6PM.

It is now time to get their earlier, to do more with mom. Spend time taking her outside.I just have to make sure mom has allot of blankets on.

I was able to score a little 3 foot Christmas tree. I just don't have the lights or decorations. I need small decorations. I have no nothing to get these though. Maybe I might be able to make some. I will look through what I have for the larger tree and take them their.

Mom barely ate anything tonight. She does not like the dinners she gets at the hospital. And I can't afforded groceries right now. I wish I could, as mom always eats what I bring.

Now, I am hoping this gentlemen comes tomorrow,

I am doing everything to get some help. I am entering Ellen's 12 days of Christmas. I am praying. There is not much time left until Christmas.

I am praying for help. As, I can not have a Christmas like it was last year, A nothing Christmas.

I am so tired right now, I am starting to make allot of mistakes while writing this.

Time to go to bed.

GOD Bless and good night.

Kris

Again, if you find it in your heart to help me, my address is on the blog. Mom and I would appreciate this very much. Please reach down into your hearts and find it in your soul to lend me a helping hand

Thanks

A rushed day.

Hello again

Today I got up late, at 12:00 noon and that meant I had to be out of the house by 1:30 PM, Man did I rush. And on top of this I had to deal with my landlord. And she does not seem to understand the words I have to go. So I did not even get on the bus until 3:00PM, I was praying that I would make it in time. Which of course I did not even get their until 5:30PM. And, of course no one fed her. But the staff is use to me being their on time and I wasn't. So it is not exactly their fault. OK 50/50.

Now at this time, mom at a very little. By the time, I got mom away from the lights and turned around it was getting near six and at that time. Well mom is on a schedule. Six PM is the time to start her spa treatment. And by seven, mom is in bed. This is body telling her this. So I just do what she wants. And this is it. I fed her what she ate and then packed up and took her to her room. The spa treatment started, within this time, the staff take mom to the washroom and change her for bed.

Well I enjoy doing this for her. The relaxation that mom achieves is fantastic. When I wash her feet and put lotion on it, mom is ready, at that point for bed. Which I do, put her to bed. I just pick her up and put her to bed. I don't need to work out. I get my exercise by lifting mom. Cool heh.

After, I sing and play music, mom is asleep and I leave. On my way home.

This unto its self, is an interesting journey. At 10PM on a Sunday, Granville street is alive and buzzing with people doing all sorts of different things.

People deny, that I actually do this, daily, But that is OK. I can prove it. And I received a comment that this person called me a pussy. To eat cheap and to move to White Rock.

Really. If I could eat cheap I would. But the only thing my funds cover are, rent, bus pass and things for mom. Her drinks and snacks. I have nothing else left and scramble for the rest of the month to get mom the items she needs and deserves.

I will take clothing home to wash it. As they just ruin things. You know I say to Troy Tyrell, that he does not have the balls to do what I do. Day in and day out.  There are very few people who could or would do what I do.

So stop with the nonsense, until you walk a mile in my shoes. Literally. Come on now, Troy, I dare you. One week. Coward.

It is a coward who would write this kind of comment. Without knowing anything else about the situation. He thinks I have an endless supply of funds. I have no supply of funds. Period.

None, notta, nill, zero. Get it! So unless your willing to come walk with me. Keep your comments to your self. It is the only sensible thing to do. I don't have time to waste on this anymore.

Now, mom was waiting for me tonight. And was upset that I was late. And gave me shit. I understand. It is our time together and she appreciates it. I have to start getting their earlier so mom and I can do other things together.

I need to get her outside. Fresh air is what mom is lacking. It is important for everyone to have air.

I can verify everything I write and I do understand that it is hard to believe. I wouldn't, If I were in your situation. But I only write the truth and that is it. This is to hard to make up. I am creative, but not this creative.

I write and write and write. And could write for hours and hours. But I have to stop.

I think it is now time to stop for the night.

GOD Bless and good night.

Kris

Christmas is upon us and I seek the kindness of your hearts, during this season. Anything and everything would be appreciated. I ask again.

Different day

Hello again

Today I was able to bring mom some stuff cheese filled pasta. And mom ate it all. 6 pieces. The cannelloni were quite large and mom ate the roast beef that came with her dinner.

I am disturbed about the staff taking the head rest off of her wheelchair. It is causing mom to keep her head back and this is causing mom to stretch her head back while she is eating making it easy for mom to chock. You know when you tilt your head back to drink, well mom does this to eat and she is starting to chock.

I have to put her head rest back on and make sure it stays on. For this reason.

Mom was full, but mom had room for a mango and a few cookies. What I had to get her this is gone. So mom eats what the hospital feeds her until I can figure something out. I am sure it will only be a few days. But maybe longer. It is OK. I have a feeling that a whole new life is about to fall upon me.

GOD only knows. And HE does.

So mom was full and wanted nothing more than to have her spa treatment done and off to bed. Oh yea, go to the restroom and get changed into her night clothing.

You know some people, actually, everyone does not believe that I actually go to White Rock daily. And that I take the bus to do this. Well just write me and I will let you follow me or do whatever to prove to you that this is what happens.

Come follow me, and I will take you on a long and weird at times and wonderful at other times, journey to White Rock and back, by the transit system. All the three different transit systems I take. It can be different at times. But I mainly meditate through the trip.

And in White Rock, on the way back. I take different ways back to the bus, to get to know the area. I will run into someone I have seen many times. A a brief chat and off I go.

The trip is enjoyable, as I get to see many different individuals, dressed the way they feel. And I think that is cool. The weird, the strange, the bizarre. It is all out their for all of us to see. And then when my journey is complete, I get to visit the most important person in the world to me, my mother. And that is the coolest thing of all. And then the time I get to spend with her, is, well, nothing can compare to it. It is a great feeling to be able to do for my mother, what she did for me, for many years.

I believe in family and looking after them. Whatever it takes, Whatever this means. Mom is first, and I am last. Whatever mom wants, mom gets. Including my clothing, if she wants it.

Again, I do not lie about anything. This is to much to make up. And I just can't seem to stop writing. Well I don't want to stop writing. This and everything I write needs to be written and spread to the world. Or my little part of it. One day I hope this goes viral.

I need to go, and just relax and watch some TV. It has been a while since I did this.

GOD Bless and good night.

Kris

What the heck

Hello again

I was watching a show before I left today, and it was on, generation ME and the baby boomers who created them.

No manners, no care for another human being. Socially retarded, don't care what you think of them. And the worst part no compassion for our seniors or people with disabilities.

I see this every single day, in my travels. People do not offer me a seat on the bus or train. they push me. Even thought they see I walk with a cane and am disabled. But they do not care. Not concerned with anyone around them except themselves. Chivalry is out of the window. Health is gone. Communication is shot. They will text each other, while seating next to each other. Not speaking to each other the whole trip.

I see seniors get on the bus or train, and the seats that are for them or me, are taken up with kids. And do you think they get up and move, not a chance. But I do, I will give up my seat for anyone. I will stand it is OK.

Now this comes from parents wanting to be friends with their children. Not a chance. We are their to teach them manners and respect for the elderly and their seniors. As in excuse me sir or madam.

The word sorry is thrown around like a baseball, meaning nothing anymore. I do not use the word sorry except when it is really needed. I use the word excuse me. And this is proper. Table manners, to this generation, they have no clue. Even in restaurants, they give you a regular fork, instead of a salad fork. No body even knows how to hold a fork, spoon, knife. etc..... They do not know what glass is for what. Proper table edict.

I know all of this and I should be teaching this to our youth. This is important in life. Other cultures respect someone who knows edict and manners. The Japanese  for one. I was raise with this part of my life always being their.

Speaking of manners. People who answer phones while speaking with someone else. It only took me once to learn this lesson. I was getting a ride back from dropping off my rental car and I was with another business man. We were talking and my phone rang. I immediately answered it. Well I over heard the business man tell the driver, that I was the rudest person, and raised without manners.

That is all it took. From that day on, if I am speaking with someone, I will not answer my phone Period. The other person always asks me if I am going to answer it, And I just say, I am speaking with you now. I have caller ID and voice mail. That is what they are for. And then I follow up with the only time I will answer the phone, is if a certain ring happens and that is the hospital about my mother. Who is sick.

Then If someone leaves a message on my voicemail. I usually just call them back to speak to them person to person. And they say, did you get my message. My reply is, no, but if you would like, I will hang up and check your message and I may or may not call you back. Or you could just tell me now. They always answer with, I will just tell you now.

Now about manners and the me generations.

I stopped going to the last church I attended for this reason and this reason alone.

It was Christmas time. A few weeks to go, actually a month before Christmas and my small group wanted to do something for Christmas. Well I suggested we call share ( A local organization that helps the needy) and choose one family, and give them the best Christmas they have had in a long time. This means, Decorate their yard, (if they have a yard) or their home. Right up there. And buy them great gifts and other necessary things for their home. And then give them a fantastic Christmas Dinner, with all the trimming and more. Have it a whole day affair.

And if it goes great, next year, pick two or three families. Well, what I got from the group, is lets pray about it. Again I almost became livid. Pray about it. Their response was, What if GOD does not want us to do this. Did not GOD in his own words tell us to love one anther and to do good for as many as we can. I am pretty sure it says that over and over again in the Bible. But I might be mistaken. Even though I have read the bible over and over again, daily for years now. 

Well they then said why don't your call share and see what they say. I know what they will say. How many people can you help.

So we left it for that day, and the next week I brought it up again, and nothing. Remember we are now only a few weeks away from Christmas. One more week pasted by and still nothing from the group. So that was the end of that and that is when I decided it was over for that church. And new that the me generation even extended to the church and the baby boomers who occupy them.

I was completely lived and insulted. You see, I have seen this kind of no manners and I am only out for myself attitude for years now, while writing this blog.  I do everything I can for my mother, I fight for her rights, with the hospitals, the doctors, the PGT

You see, by doing what I do for my mother. It is helping others see things differently.

I apply treatment to my mother. I care and love her. I help and do everything I can for her, every day. And again, I mean every single day. I spend more time traveling than I actually get to spend with my mother.  5 hours traveling for 2 hours of visiting. And this is me leaving Coquitlam at 1PM daily to get their, one half hour before her dinner. Everyday. day in and day out.  I do this with all the love in my heart. And I don't do this for any other reason.
This is my mother and she is all I have left. I have seen my grandfather, than my father die of this disease and now mom has it. I did not get to spend as much time with the others as I would of liked to and I decided that this is going to be different. Mom needs me and I need her. We are one.

And all this time I write this blog. I ask for help, but not just for me, but for my mother. Through what I do and write. This will help many see and do things differently.

It is Christmas time and this is the time of the year when everyone is suppose to reach into their hearts and show love to their fellow man.  I am hear and nothing. I go completely without, so my mother can have the best of things possible. Since the PGT is and does not help. Just take and take and take her money, until their will be nothing left  and then they will just say good bye.

I have tried to get this company off the ground (www.adsaac.ca) but I need more time and resources. As in a phone. I try to explain this to the PGT and nothing.  They tell me that this is exactly what they are about. But I really dont see it. Considering the new reports on them. (negative)

I have no one to speak with all the time. I go weeks without having a conversation with anyone else but my mother. Don't get me wrong, I love speaking with my mother. That is apparent, when I am none stop yapping the whole time I am their. To the point, mom will actually tell me to stop talking, so she can just listen to the music.

I write this so others will understand exactly what goes on and what one feels and thinks when they have a loved one with Alzheimer's and or Dementia. Everyone out their who are about to face this. And 49 to 60% of the baby boomers are going to develop Alzheimer's or Dementia in the next 20 years. Will maybe read this and understand what to expect. Both emotionally for them selves and their loved ones. Or what the physical degeneration will follow.

I have seen this for over 15 years now. And have been an extremely active part of this disease around my family. Their helping all the time. I have seen it all and know what is going to happen and what to tell everyone to not let the doctors and homes do to their loved ones.

By reading this you will know, exactly what to avoid. And what not to let the doctors do or give your loved ones. This has been nothing but a pain staking task. Not only helping mom, but also at the same time finishing an education. And wanting to do more. As well as wanting to start this business, to help our loved ones with this abuse.

This is all about the abuse of our parents, grandparent, husbands, sister, daughters. It is rampant and has to stop. Both physically, spiritually  and financially.

I say that what I do is an important task that has to be done by someone. Someone who has the incite, to see the wrongs and the abuse. From being around this for many, many years now.

Yes it is not what everyone would think of as a job. But it is and it is an important one at that.

And now, it is Christmas again. And last year it was a horrible Christmas for mom and I. And if I don't get help right away. This Christmas will be even worse. Present less and nothingness is what is in store for mom and I this year. Unless someone or many people come through for us.

I have all the decorations for mom. But they are not any good. They are to old for this new facility. The tree is to big. The decorations are not shatterproof. And the lights, too old.

So everything has to be purchased again. I have spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on deportation for mom over the years. I try to make a different theme for the tree every year. This is I wanted to make it blue lights and white decorations. Only white decorations. Mom always loves the new themes I come up with. Never ending ideas.

But how is this possible now. The PGT has made promises over the last few months. To the tune of $3000. and I have waited for this. This would do everything I need to get done. But no. Of course not. This what always happens with them. The PGT will make a promise and then it is next week, then next week it will be the next week. The tactic of the stall.

If I would have these funds moms Christmas would be great. As it is, all the clothing I have purchased for mom over the last few years, are gone. And what mom has are mostly the clothing of mine that I have also given her. The really nice things I have purchased her are gone. Of course. And allot of my clothing of mine I have given her are also gone.

I need to replace these items, The cross she wore for years that I bought her. White Gold. Gone. Mom never took this off, until someone took it off of her. Even when mom had a bath,. It was never taken off. Good right, NOT.

I say all this tonight, following what I saw on the show today. That society has lost the ability to see others needs and help them. I am not insulting anyone. I am just speaking in generalizations. Well in my case maybe more to do with the fact that I have always been honest about everything on this blog. My feelings, moms feelings and problems.

So once more I reach out at this time of the year. Christmas and the time of our Saviors birth, that I ask for all assistance I can get. In what every form that it may be.

I will need to go now. It is 1:29 am and I started writing this at 12:AM.

So GOD Bless and good night

Kris