Hello again
So we got the first storm of the season out of the way. It just poured this past week, the wind was unreal. Lots of people were without power for a few days.
It is done and time to await the next one. But our storms are nowhere near what everyone else's storms, in a different location, are.
Just doing what I usually do, and loving every minute of it. Taking care of mom. I will repeat this. It is not the looking after mom or doing things for her. And even the traveling that bother's me. It is not finding a place I can afford.
Yea you say, there must be something. Well the something is living with ex, I mean a few years, drug addicts or people you don't want to live with. Or the room is so small I couldn't even put my dresser in. Let alone a bed.
Let me put this out there. I only have $500. that I can spend on rent. And that is pushing it. Which, by the way, Leaves me with, not much left over. Then I pay my phone bill and hardly anything. Sure there are lots of ROOMS for $600 or $700 a month. That is only a room in a shared accommodation. Come on now. That much for just a room.
That is nothing but nonsense. So can anyone even see where I am coming from. The most expensive city in Canada.
What really bugs me, is I don't even want to come back here at night. I hate living here.
Now, it is bath day for mom, After her bath they put her back into bed for the rest of the day. I have no idea why.
I had to take three of her nightgowns into get fixed, Thanks to the morning staff who must just rip them off of mom. Another $30. I had to spend which I can''t afford to spend. Cuts into my food budget. Big time. Needed to be done though.
Now the staff or the hospital is going to pay for this. And I want the nightgowns replaced. They are only a month or so old. I just don't care anymore.
It is time, once again to play hard ball.
Just like it is time to play hardball with the insurance agency. They are not returning my calls. They said they would pay for everything for physiotherapy. Then when I went to the office and had them call the insurance company. ICBC changed there mind. I have to pay the user fee. Something I don't have is money for this. So they are now denying me access to physiotherapy.
Back to mom.
Again today, mom was very hungry. Good appetite lately. My meal I made her plus most of the served meal. And the usual dessert
I have clean sheets for mom, every week. Yet they never put them on her bed. Then I have to do it myself. Which is hard to do one handed. But I make it work.
And it was the spa treatment. Full version and then mom was ready to sleep. It is that quick. I just held her hand, as usual. and watched some TV while she fell asleep.
It takes me a fare bit of time to pack. So I try to do this first before I sit with mom.
I am just pissed off at not being able to find a place.
I don't bring this attitude in,while visiting with mom. Not a chance. She doesn't need to see my Bullshit. I put on my happy face and leave my crap at the door. Knowing I can pick up when I leave.
Mom needs a positive experience, each and everyday, while I am their. Nothing less will do.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher W.A.Schmuland
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Friday, October 24, 2014
Our life
Hello again
Mom seems to be OK with the passing of her roommate. Even though they never really spoke. Considering mom does not speak. Yet she does. One just has to know how to read her. They say we have our own language. I just know how to read her. So we can have some sort of conversations.
Anyways, mom was in good spirits and extremely hungry. I guess it was the dinner I made for her. She ate almost the entire meal. Only very little left.
Her Kiwi gold is done for the season. Have to wait until May for more.
I have thought about this. As other's have brought it up. There question is If your mom lives another 10 years are you going to continue at this rate, being here everyday.
And what do you think my response was. I will be here looking after mom for as long as in needed. If mom lives another 20 years, I will be here everyday. When I make a commitment I stick to it. No matter what. My life is her life. What ever it takes. I am not going anywhere. This is what I have chosen to do. Take care of my mother.
When we went back to the room, it seemed that I felt that her roommates spirit was still around.
Oh yes I said she was Scottish. Wrong. Irish.
Mom took longer to eat tonight. And it doesn't matter how long it takes her. That is the time I spend feeding her. So we got back to the room a half hour latter than normal.
Got her changed for bed, then the care aid came in and we got her into bed. Mom was full, and wanted me to quickly take care of the spa treatment. Which I did. This is so I could spend more time, holding her hand while she fell asleep. When I finished her spa treatment, mom just reached out for my hand.
It is such a warm and beautiful feeling having mom do this. Her just knowing I am their for her. That she can fall asleep feeling secure. And when I sang our good night song to her, this huge smile came upon her face. I know she was already asleep. Yet knowing.
I do hope mom live for a very long time to come.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher W.A. Schmuland
aka Looser
Mom seems to be OK with the passing of her roommate. Even though they never really spoke. Considering mom does not speak. Yet she does. One just has to know how to read her. They say we have our own language. I just know how to read her. So we can have some sort of conversations.
Anyways, mom was in good spirits and extremely hungry. I guess it was the dinner I made for her. She ate almost the entire meal. Only very little left.
Her Kiwi gold is done for the season. Have to wait until May for more.
I have thought about this. As other's have brought it up. There question is If your mom lives another 10 years are you going to continue at this rate, being here everyday.
And what do you think my response was. I will be here looking after mom for as long as in needed. If mom lives another 20 years, I will be here everyday. When I make a commitment I stick to it. No matter what. My life is her life. What ever it takes. I am not going anywhere. This is what I have chosen to do. Take care of my mother.
When we went back to the room, it seemed that I felt that her roommates spirit was still around.
Oh yes I said she was Scottish. Wrong. Irish.
Mom took longer to eat tonight. And it doesn't matter how long it takes her. That is the time I spend feeding her. So we got back to the room a half hour latter than normal.
Got her changed for bed, then the care aid came in and we got her into bed. Mom was full, and wanted me to quickly take care of the spa treatment. Which I did. This is so I could spend more time, holding her hand while she fell asleep. When I finished her spa treatment, mom just reached out for my hand.
It is such a warm and beautiful feeling having mom do this. Her just knowing I am their for her. That she can fall asleep feeling secure. And when I sang our good night song to her, this huge smile came upon her face. I know she was already asleep. Yet knowing.
I do hope mom live for a very long time to come.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher W.A. Schmuland
aka Looser
Thursday, October 23, 2014
A bit of a sad day
Hello again
I arrived at mom's today to find out that her roommate had passed away an hour earlier. The family was just starting to come.
A nice lady, Scottish, with that accent. Had her difficulties. She got the flu shot and then developed a fever. That was it.
Last night I was thinking that the roommate was going to pass on.
Over the last decade, I have seen many and many people pass on to a better place. Even passing away in front of me.
It is very sad. She will be missed. I had many a conversations with her. I don't know if she understood me, because of her Dementia. I had them anyways.
Mom was not in the room, when this happened. They kept her far away. In a way it is a good thing. I know mom understood that her roommate had passed on. Not the first.
It did seem mom was OK. Yet I was all over letting her know that she is healthy, That she gets the supplements each morning to keep her healthy. Vega One and a liquid B Complex. Covering all of what she needs each day.
I said to her, I know it tastes bad, but please take it. It will keep you going. Strong and healthy. I keep emphasizing to mom.
Being Wednesday, it was the day to wash her hair. Mom was hungry today, very hungry. She ate all of what I brought plus most of the served dinner. And of course the dessert.
I had a gold Kiwi, and I don't think there will be anymore until next spring. Well May or June. I will check though. And let mom know they won't be back until next spring.
We go through this every year. She knows they are seasonal. And she won't eat the green one. I always say to everyone, Once you tasted the gold Kiwi, you won't want to eat the green one anymore. Such a difference in taste.
I tried to slow everything down tonight, to give the family time to grieve and get things in order with the roommate. But we had to get mom into bed.
When we got mom into bed, the family left and then the staff came in and put her into a body bag. She was there for a while. Mom knew, but I kept the curtains closed between them.
Mom understood. She just wanted her spa treatment. To relax her and take her mind off of it. I held her hand tight, and sang to her. The music was on, Nice and relaxing for her. I stayed much latter tonight. Didn't even get home until 11:45.
But I needed to write this. I didn't want to write anything. Feeling sorry for myself again. Pity me not.
Mom is fine though. That is all that matters. To bad for what I feel.
Going now.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher.W. A. Schmuland
I arrived at mom's today to find out that her roommate had passed away an hour earlier. The family was just starting to come.
A nice lady, Scottish, with that accent. Had her difficulties. She got the flu shot and then developed a fever. That was it.
Last night I was thinking that the roommate was going to pass on.
Over the last decade, I have seen many and many people pass on to a better place. Even passing away in front of me.
It is very sad. She will be missed. I had many a conversations with her. I don't know if she understood me, because of her Dementia. I had them anyways.
Mom was not in the room, when this happened. They kept her far away. In a way it is a good thing. I know mom understood that her roommate had passed on. Not the first.
It did seem mom was OK. Yet I was all over letting her know that she is healthy, That she gets the supplements each morning to keep her healthy. Vega One and a liquid B Complex. Covering all of what she needs each day.
I said to her, I know it tastes bad, but please take it. It will keep you going. Strong and healthy. I keep emphasizing to mom.
Being Wednesday, it was the day to wash her hair. Mom was hungry today, very hungry. She ate all of what I brought plus most of the served dinner. And of course the dessert.
I had a gold Kiwi, and I don't think there will be anymore until next spring. Well May or June. I will check though. And let mom know they won't be back until next spring.
We go through this every year. She knows they are seasonal. And she won't eat the green one. I always say to everyone, Once you tasted the gold Kiwi, you won't want to eat the green one anymore. Such a difference in taste.
I tried to slow everything down tonight, to give the family time to grieve and get things in order with the roommate. But we had to get mom into bed.
When we got mom into bed, the family left and then the staff came in and put her into a body bag. She was there for a while. Mom knew, but I kept the curtains closed between them.
Mom understood. She just wanted her spa treatment. To relax her and take her mind off of it. I held her hand tight, and sang to her. The music was on, Nice and relaxing for her. I stayed much latter tonight. Didn't even get home until 11:45.
But I needed to write this. I didn't want to write anything. Feeling sorry for myself again. Pity me not.
Mom is fine though. That is all that matters. To bad for what I feel.
Going now.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher.W. A. Schmuland
Monday, October 20, 2014
Again and again. but mom is good.
Hello again
So today I thought that I would sing some praise for the staff where mom resides. First though I have to bring up the lack of respect the morning staff have for mom's belongings.
We know mom has new nightgowns. Tonight I have noticed that they are now torn, From where the where originally cut to. It seems that the staff are just ripping them off of mom. Soon they will be completely open in the back. Not the intention. They have now been ripped 6 inches up. And the only way this can happen is if they just grab the night gown and pull on it to get it off of mom in the morning. That is the only way they can rip like this.
If it is not one thing with the morning staff it is another. Now I have to pay for them to be fixed. Pay again. Well this time I will give the bill to the manager and make the staff member or members pay for the repair.
But on the other side of this. I have respect for the night staff. They are good to mom. Treat her well. Very polite to me. (They better be) LOL If there is a problem, it is addressed right away.
Now tonight a care aid who is off on maternity leave brought her baby in to show everyone. When mom was being put to bed, I was speaking with the LPN and we were speaking about kids. I mentioned that I have none. She goes, "you don't". I answered and told her that if I had children, they would be here visiting their grandmother all the time. I am divorced and no children out of that marriage. And because of alcoholism I lost the only person I loved and could of had children with her................................................
I followed this up with. I am glad I don't have children. With the train wreck of a life I have had. We only get one life and I have wasted this one.
The only good thing I have done and am doing, with my life, is looking after and taking care of mom. That is it. I may have an education, yet my life has amounted to nothing.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher W.A. Schmuland
So today I thought that I would sing some praise for the staff where mom resides. First though I have to bring up the lack of respect the morning staff have for mom's belongings.
We know mom has new nightgowns. Tonight I have noticed that they are now torn, From where the where originally cut to. It seems that the staff are just ripping them off of mom. Soon they will be completely open in the back. Not the intention. They have now been ripped 6 inches up. And the only way this can happen is if they just grab the night gown and pull on it to get it off of mom in the morning. That is the only way they can rip like this.
If it is not one thing with the morning staff it is another. Now I have to pay for them to be fixed. Pay again. Well this time I will give the bill to the manager and make the staff member or members pay for the repair.
But on the other side of this. I have respect for the night staff. They are good to mom. Treat her well. Very polite to me. (They better be) LOL If there is a problem, it is addressed right away.
Now tonight a care aid who is off on maternity leave brought her baby in to show everyone. When mom was being put to bed, I was speaking with the LPN and we were speaking about kids. I mentioned that I have none. She goes, "you don't". I answered and told her that if I had children, they would be here visiting their grandmother all the time. I am divorced and no children out of that marriage. And because of alcoholism I lost the only person I loved and could of had children with her................................................
I followed this up with. I am glad I don't have children. With the train wreck of a life I have had. We only get one life and I have wasted this one.
The only good thing I have done and am doing, with my life, is looking after and taking care of mom. That is it. I may have an education, yet my life has amounted to nothing.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher W.A. Schmuland
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Oh bla dee
Hello again
I am having a hard time thinking up original titles for the posts.
So another Sunday.
Mom had her flu shot last week, and as with most people, it is effecting her. Tired etc... Some of the residents are getting a fever. Not mom though. She is very resilient.
I just made mom and omelet, with some anti pasto. which mom enjoyed. They served mom meat that was Grey. They called it Turkey. I don`t think so..
I asked what animal produces Grey meat. No one had an answer for me.
Mom wouldn't even try it. She closed her mouth and turned her head. I don`t blame her. The meat was actually Grey. This is what it is like their. And this is why I bring mom home cooked meals.
When I arrived mom was sitting by the window. not facing me, but as soon as I touched her shoulder, mom knew it was me. I gave her our customary kisses and the women beside mom, perks up and said `I wish I had a son like you.`` I thanked her and said that it was my mother who raised me to be this way.
I am but a humble servant in this journey. Of modest means.
We finished dinner, did the dishes and got mom ready for bed. And after the care aid put mom to bed. All mom wanted was a quick spa treatment. No to bending her legs.
I finished as quick as possible. Mom was thirsty, I gave her as much as she wanted and then put everything away.
I was holding her hand and I guess I was to hot. And mom was very tired. She pushed my hand away, meaning, it was time for me to leave. She just wanted to sleep. It is very rare that she does this , but that is what it means.
I left.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher W. A. Schmuland
I am having a hard time thinking up original titles for the posts.
So another Sunday.
Mom had her flu shot last week, and as with most people, it is effecting her. Tired etc... Some of the residents are getting a fever. Not mom though. She is very resilient.
I just made mom and omelet, with some anti pasto. which mom enjoyed. They served mom meat that was Grey. They called it Turkey. I don`t think so..
I asked what animal produces Grey meat. No one had an answer for me.
Mom wouldn't even try it. She closed her mouth and turned her head. I don`t blame her. The meat was actually Grey. This is what it is like their. And this is why I bring mom home cooked meals.
When I arrived mom was sitting by the window. not facing me, but as soon as I touched her shoulder, mom knew it was me. I gave her our customary kisses and the women beside mom, perks up and said `I wish I had a son like you.`` I thanked her and said that it was my mother who raised me to be this way.
I am but a humble servant in this journey. Of modest means.
We finished dinner, did the dishes and got mom ready for bed. And after the care aid put mom to bed. All mom wanted was a quick spa treatment. No to bending her legs.
I finished as quick as possible. Mom was thirsty, I gave her as much as she wanted and then put everything away.
I was holding her hand and I guess I was to hot. And mom was very tired. She pushed my hand away, meaning, it was time for me to leave. She just wanted to sleep. It is very rare that she does this , but that is what it means.
I left.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher W. A. Schmuland
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