Hello again
Tonight mom was giving me shit, because I am wearing the same sweater for the last, well. 40 days. And she was upset that I am just wearing the same clothing day after day after day. She knows the only thing I change is the Tee-shirt to one of the four that I own.
I just said to her, this is what I have and I have to money to buy anything else. The PGT Stephen Flynn has broken more promises than I can count. Or has lied about what he tells me. And says one thing and does another and denies that he said anything at all. I should have $10,000.00 now, but Stephen Flynn of the PGT cannot tell the truth, or keep his word.
So I just said, yes it is the same thing, but what is most important is that I am here and get here to see you. That is the most important thing for me. Yes I have been wearing the same things for months and months now, the same two pair of jeans and well the same pull over soft shell. It is OK, It does the trick. Sort of. But I won't tell mom how cold I actually am. It is very, very cold out.
And yes these jeans are falling apart. They are tearing away. One side of one of the two pairs is riped down the seam on the left thigh. The other the pocket is riping on the outside and both pockets are shot. Can't put anything in them.
So tonight mom had roast beef. This she liked and this is good. But this is the only meal she ate completely in weeks. And who knows tomorrow what it will be for dinner. I really wish I could just cook her meals and bring them to her.
Mom is really upset that this is all I have for clothing. She is use to seeing me in suits and ties and dressed up all the time. But, you know times change. One day I hope to be wearing better clothing again. But in the mean time, this is what I wear. Cold or not, dressed like a bum, or homeless person is all OK. As long as I get to go see my mother. It does not matter, as I have said I will be their no matter what. I will be their.
So Christmas is only, well less than two weeks away, and I should be ready and have all of what is needed, but not this year, nor last year. It is a shame that this is happening. Mom deserves so much more than this nothing of a Christmas we are going to have. This year I had a plan and that was to give mom allot of gifts. Since most of her clothing is gone. And mom needs new things. I have been window shopping and well I have found allot of things for mom at the Bay, on sale. And yes window shopping for myself.
Since I am rarely eating I am getting smaller and smaller. For the first time, I think in my life. I looked into the mirror the other day. And I noticed I was getting smaller. I went Crap I am smaller.
Well I have gone from a size 38 pants to a size 34 and I went from a X-Large shirt to a medium. This is a first to me. I have been thin before, But I never noticed it before as I did the other day. It does make for an interesting dilemma.
So time has come for me to go to bed. I am really having a hard time staying awake. The not eating thing is catching up with me.
GOD bless and good night
\
Kris
