Hello again
Today being Friday mom is not very hungry. She ate a little bit of her dinner and she did eat a papaya and box of her 3 Lindt chocolates.
Then while doing the dishes, mom pointed to the pointsetta again. I let her know that I could help her with that. So when we got to her room. I pointed her towards her nightstand and there it was, a pointsetta. Mom smiled and wanted to touch the plant. I pushed her over to it and she was touching and feeling the plant. And smiling the whole time. She shed a tear. I gave her a big hug and she wanted a kiss. So that is what I did. And when I got her into bed, the smile continued. I finished her spa treatment, she was changed, and I held her hand while she fell asleep. With a smile on her face.
I just need to make the rest of her Christmas special. I did get mom something, with the little I had. At least there will be one present under the tree for her.
I would like to say again, that mom is completely dependent on everyone for all her needs. I wipe her nose, wipe her mouth, when it is dirty. When I get their I wipe the sleet from her eyes. I feed her and get her ready for bed. I wash her face, her hair, every other day. I put lotion on her face, arms, hand, legs and feet.
And I am proud and glad to do it. And would not have it any other way.
Day 15, my eye sight is getting blurry. I have major pains.I am dropping things with my right hand all the time lately
To all who know this. I am completely alone in this world. It is a horrible feeling. But I am use to it by now. As it has been along time. I don't have family. There is just mom and I. And when I leave their at night. I am alone. I don't have conversations with anyone.
And well, right now, I don't want to talk to anyone, anyways. I dislike Christmas. I just enjoy spending the time with mom.
All I want to do is make each and every Christmas, the best for mom. The tree, being their for her and doing whatever I can for her.
So I am very tired and need to go to bed. Get up early to get out to White Rock.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Friday, December 21, 2012
Thursday, December 20, 2012
A day not unlike the rest
Hello again
I am completely disillusioned about people and the goodness they proclaim to have. Not! I see this everyday, at the home where mom lives. The family that does not come, only on special occasions do they visit.
Otherwise the residents sit alone.
Today, my uncle, mom's brother came to visit her. I found this out by one of the nurse's. My uncle could not find mom. He went to the other building where mom was 7 months ago. So he has not seen his sister in almost a year. As it was several months before mom moved that he had visited her.
Isn't this nice. My sisters don't come to see mom, and her brother doesn't as well. And they all drive and live not far away. Oh yea, the one sister comes once a week and the other, who knows. Most of the staff, don't even know I have other family members. I do let them know that I do have two sister's and mom has a brother and aunt.
Peoples goodness stops after Christmas time. And this is out of guilt.
I really don't have anything else to say.
It is going to be one of the worst Christmas's I have ever had. But I did take the little I get, today, and buy mom a gift.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
I am completely disillusioned about people and the goodness they proclaim to have. Not! I see this everyday, at the home where mom lives. The family that does not come, only on special occasions do they visit.
Otherwise the residents sit alone.
Today, my uncle, mom's brother came to visit her. I found this out by one of the nurse's. My uncle could not find mom. He went to the other building where mom was 7 months ago. So he has not seen his sister in almost a year. As it was several months before mom moved that he had visited her.
Isn't this nice. My sisters don't come to see mom, and her brother doesn't as well. And they all drive and live not far away. Oh yea, the one sister comes once a week and the other, who knows. Most of the staff, don't even know I have other family members. I do let them know that I do have two sister's and mom has a brother and aunt.
Peoples goodness stops after Christmas time. And this is out of guilt.
I really don't have anything else to say.
It is going to be one of the worst Christmas's I have ever had. But I did take the little I get, today, and buy mom a gift.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
A day that is getting worse
Hello again
Tonight after I gave mom her spa treatment, and waiting for mom to be changed. The staff member came in to change mom. I went, as usual, to get some hot water. When walking back I heard mom complaining. So I rushed in, it felt like something happened and mom was upset. She was giving the staff member a dirty look and following her around with her eyes.
I noticed a spot on her lip. Which I didn't see when I applied lip balm to her, 15 minutes earlier. What I think happened was someone slapped mom in the mouth. I am not saying for sure. I wasn't their to see it. But this person is coming in and changing mom latter and latter. Knowing I live in Coquitlam and it takes me up to 3 hours to get home. Not impressed.
So I arrived late, as it was snowing and pouring rain. The roads were covered in slush. So the buses were delayed. and I got their at 5:15 pm. I usually get their at 4:30. Mom was hungry and thirsty. They don't seem to give mom enough to drink. I was able to get her the red papaya she loves.
Now today I went to the food bank and apparently got a Christmas hamper. Having celiac disease, I have to have a gluten free diet. So I went through everything and, well, there was nothing left that I could eat, without getting sick. Day 14 and still going.
I am tired and weak. I am cold. As I got soaking wet today. And have had nothing. And I have nothing to get a Christmas present for mom with.
It seems the PGT was just screwing with me, as usual. I really don't know what to do.
I can go without, but I need something for mom to put under the tree.
I really hate my life. But I love mom
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
Tonight after I gave mom her spa treatment, and waiting for mom to be changed. The staff member came in to change mom. I went, as usual, to get some hot water. When walking back I heard mom complaining. So I rushed in, it felt like something happened and mom was upset. She was giving the staff member a dirty look and following her around with her eyes.
I noticed a spot on her lip. Which I didn't see when I applied lip balm to her, 15 minutes earlier. What I think happened was someone slapped mom in the mouth. I am not saying for sure. I wasn't their to see it. But this person is coming in and changing mom latter and latter. Knowing I live in Coquitlam and it takes me up to 3 hours to get home. Not impressed.
So I arrived late, as it was snowing and pouring rain. The roads were covered in slush. So the buses were delayed. and I got their at 5:15 pm. I usually get their at 4:30. Mom was hungry and thirsty. They don't seem to give mom enough to drink. I was able to get her the red papaya she loves.
Now today I went to the food bank and apparently got a Christmas hamper. Having celiac disease, I have to have a gluten free diet. So I went through everything and, well, there was nothing left that I could eat, without getting sick. Day 14 and still going.
I am tired and weak. I am cold. As I got soaking wet today. And have had nothing. And I have nothing to get a Christmas present for mom with.
It seems the PGT was just screwing with me, as usual. I really don't know what to do.
I can go without, but I need something for mom to put under the tree.
I really hate my life. But I love mom
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
I am done
Hello again
I am done with the pleasantries in life. I don't trust anyone anymore.
You really can't depend or count on anyone. That is just how it seems to be. No help when one really needs it.
The PGT is getting on my nerves again. They tell me one thing and do another.
He takes me for a fool. That I don't know anything about accounting and it's practices.
I will start out by saying I do not like to boast about my life. As it is my mothers life that is important to me, and should be to all of you. This blog is about the trials of having Alzheimer's/Dementia. And how it progress's over time. What happens to your loved one and how one coupes with it. It's pitfalls and all the emotions that come along with being a caregiver to a loved one. The emotions that your loved one feels and experiences as time goes on.
But I boast a little now:
I studied first and second year accounting. And it was done by hand, A general ledger. (As an elective) Then it was computerized accounting, outside of continuing my education. I have a few accounting programs on my computer that I keep up to date with at least once a month. So I am very well aware of how little time it actually takes the accounts payable department to print......
I used my first computer in 1984, took basic programing and C +. Not used anymore. I had my own computer in 1986. I owned one of the small Apple computers and then had a PC built for myself, after that. I am very adept at learning new programs. With ease. And have been using computers ever since. I am a geek. Put together this computer from old PC's I found.
I studied behavioural sciences/psychology and have an extremely high IQ. A Eidetic memory(Tonal) Meaning I remember conversations, clearly.
I am not working now, due to several car accidents, that left me having to use a cane, permanent injuries to my right shoulder and arm, knee problems. Right and left knee. Back injuries, nerve damage to my right arm, shoulder and hand. ( I am right handed, or I was) The emotional and psychological damage that it caused to myself. After the first accident I refused to drive for two years.(PTSD) according to the Psychologist I spent visiting for over a year. And now, cannot drive due to my injuries.(Right leg shakes when it becomes relaxed) I have osteopina and spiana bifita oculta, and a few other lower back problems.I have suffered extreme depression and still do. I am in pain most days, but deal with it, as well as possible. I won''t let mom see what I go through. She has enough to deal with as it is.
Yet I have a job and it is the most wonderful job I have ever had. I look after my mother. Yea I don't get paid for it. But I willingly do this. And as I say to all. Everything else can come latter. As it is mom who needs me. And I plan on being their for her. No matter what. I don't complain about the traveling. Actually, I do enjoy it. I meet interesting people along the way. And even now, when I don't want to talk to anyone. I am having more and more conversations. Not initiated by myself.
I live on gabapentin ( A mild nerve pain killer) this calms the hunger, and Tea.
But she knows something is up. She thinks I am loosing to much weight. I am, but nothing can be done about it.
Tonight, mom ate quite a bit. The food was cold, so I went to warm it up. While waiting, the food services staff asked me if I wanted something to eat. Sure. So they were having butter chicken, and gave me a piece of chicken and rice. I brought it back to the table and mom ate her dinner and that as well. Great I say. Her appetite is back. And I like it when she eats like this. It is OK. I am use to not eating. Day 12. Coming up upon my record of 17 days. And then time for her nightly spa treatment. I left at 8:00 pm. late, and this is OK. I still got home at an OK time.
I really do love it when mom listens to the music and falls asleep holding my hand at night.
But time to go to bed
My roommate said I can use his van today. But we shall see. If I can, that means I can get the Christmas hamper and the last food bank of the year.
Need to leave a note for the roommate. But, like everyone else, I won't believe it until the keys are in my hand. And if he doesn't, I have no way of getting the Christmas hamper and the food hamper of the year.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
I am done with the pleasantries in life. I don't trust anyone anymore.
You really can't depend or count on anyone. That is just how it seems to be. No help when one really needs it.
The PGT is getting on my nerves again. They tell me one thing and do another.
He takes me for a fool. That I don't know anything about accounting and it's practices.
I will start out by saying I do not like to boast about my life. As it is my mothers life that is important to me, and should be to all of you. This blog is about the trials of having Alzheimer's/Dementia. And how it progress's over time. What happens to your loved one and how one coupes with it. It's pitfalls and all the emotions that come along with being a caregiver to a loved one. The emotions that your loved one feels and experiences as time goes on.
But I boast a little now:
I studied first and second year accounting. And it was done by hand, A general ledger. (As an elective) Then it was computerized accounting, outside of continuing my education. I have a few accounting programs on my computer that I keep up to date with at least once a month. So I am very well aware of how little time it actually takes the accounts payable department to print......
I used my first computer in 1984, took basic programing and C +. Not used anymore. I had my own computer in 1986. I owned one of the small Apple computers and then had a PC built for myself, after that. I am very adept at learning new programs. With ease. And have been using computers ever since. I am a geek. Put together this computer from old PC's I found.
I studied behavioural sciences/psychology and have an extremely high IQ. A Eidetic memory(Tonal) Meaning I remember conversations, clearly.
I am not working now, due to several car accidents, that left me having to use a cane, permanent injuries to my right shoulder and arm, knee problems. Right and left knee. Back injuries, nerve damage to my right arm, shoulder and hand. ( I am right handed, or I was) The emotional and psychological damage that it caused to myself. After the first accident I refused to drive for two years.(PTSD) according to the Psychologist I spent visiting for over a year. And now, cannot drive due to my injuries.(Right leg shakes when it becomes relaxed) I have osteopina and spiana bifita oculta, and a few other lower back problems.I have suffered extreme depression and still do. I am in pain most days, but deal with it, as well as possible. I won''t let mom see what I go through. She has enough to deal with as it is.
Yet I have a job and it is the most wonderful job I have ever had. I look after my mother. Yea I don't get paid for it. But I willingly do this. And as I say to all. Everything else can come latter. As it is mom who needs me. And I plan on being their for her. No matter what. I don't complain about the traveling. Actually, I do enjoy it. I meet interesting people along the way. And even now, when I don't want to talk to anyone. I am having more and more conversations. Not initiated by myself.
I live on gabapentin ( A mild nerve pain killer) this calms the hunger, and Tea.
But she knows something is up. She thinks I am loosing to much weight. I am, but nothing can be done about it.
Tonight, mom ate quite a bit. The food was cold, so I went to warm it up. While waiting, the food services staff asked me if I wanted something to eat. Sure. So they were having butter chicken, and gave me a piece of chicken and rice. I brought it back to the table and mom ate her dinner and that as well. Great I say. Her appetite is back. And I like it when she eats like this. It is OK. I am use to not eating. Day 12. Coming up upon my record of 17 days. And then time for her nightly spa treatment. I left at 8:00 pm. late, and this is OK. I still got home at an OK time.
I really do love it when mom listens to the music and falls asleep holding my hand at night.
But time to go to bed
My roommate said I can use his van today. But we shall see. If I can, that means I can get the Christmas hamper and the last food bank of the year.
Need to leave a note for the roommate. But, like everyone else, I won't believe it until the keys are in my hand. And if he doesn't, I have no way of getting the Christmas hamper and the food hamper of the year.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Another desperate day
Hello again
Tonight I found out that the home does not even get mom up until, between 10 am and 11 am. Meaning mom is only up for 7 hours in a day. As I get their at 4:30 pm and have mom in bed at 6:00 pm or so.
This is another situation that has to be addressed.
Mom was extremely hungry tonight, and ate all of her dinner, two ice creams and the peach dessert. Oh yea, plus two of the chocolates I had for her. Not the one's she likes, but the second best. And she was still very hungry.
The dental issue still remains. Nothing done about it. Mom needs the tooth filled or removed. And right away. But my problem is I cannot even call the dentist to speak with them.
I have absolutely nothing left to give her. My cupboards are bare. Just like mother Hubbard. I am out of her cosmetics now. Just some samples left. And the promise to help out is just that a veiled promeses. Nothing so far. I have been trying for a week now, going the long way to see mom and stopping in to see if it is there.
There was a musician that came tonight. I asked mom if she wanted to stay up and listen to him. She wanted too. But 6:30 came along, and mom was falling asleep in her chair. I got her ready for bed and her nightly spa treatment. Including her favorite music. Diana Krall. This she falls asleep to.
Mom can't use her left arm.
Mom can't walk
Mom can't speak anymore
Mom is in a wheel chair all the time
Mom is aware though, very aware
She is alone, besides me being their for her.
I feel so bad that I cannot bring mom some home cooked meals. Or even fruit. Or even the Lindt chocolate she loves.
I wanted and still want the photo's of mom's life, but it is a year that I have been asking for them and nothing. I want to get her photo's up on her wall.
It is my sister's that are stopping me from doing this.
I wanted to get a Handi dart pass for mom. But this didn't happen, again
I will have to apply for this myself.
And fight for the photo's for mom. How selfish is this. They are mom's and should be up on her walls. Not sitting in storage and being charged for this. I am pissed off at this as well.
I am becoming weaker and my eye sight is getting worse. My sides are starting to ache. I have no idea what this is about.
The person for share wrote me and told me that it is not to late to get the Christmas hamper. But they won't deliver it. So I have no way of getting it home. I will go tomorrow and see what can be done. If anything.
It is day 11 now.
I am really not sure how much longer I can go on like this. But I guess I will have too. No other choice.
Now I am very tired and is time for bed. Well to watch a few things I downloaded
Good night
GED bless
Kris Schmuland
Tonight I found out that the home does not even get mom up until, between 10 am and 11 am. Meaning mom is only up for 7 hours in a day. As I get their at 4:30 pm and have mom in bed at 6:00 pm or so.
This is another situation that has to be addressed.
Mom was extremely hungry tonight, and ate all of her dinner, two ice creams and the peach dessert. Oh yea, plus two of the chocolates I had for her. Not the one's she likes, but the second best. And she was still very hungry.
The dental issue still remains. Nothing done about it. Mom needs the tooth filled or removed. And right away. But my problem is I cannot even call the dentist to speak with them.
I have absolutely nothing left to give her. My cupboards are bare. Just like mother Hubbard. I am out of her cosmetics now. Just some samples left. And the promise to help out is just that a veiled promeses. Nothing so far. I have been trying for a week now, going the long way to see mom and stopping in to see if it is there.
There was a musician that came tonight. I asked mom if she wanted to stay up and listen to him. She wanted too. But 6:30 came along, and mom was falling asleep in her chair. I got her ready for bed and her nightly spa treatment. Including her favorite music. Diana Krall. This she falls asleep to.
Mom can't use her left arm.
Mom can't walk
Mom can't speak anymore
Mom is in a wheel chair all the time
Mom is aware though, very aware
She is alone, besides me being their for her.
I feel so bad that I cannot bring mom some home cooked meals. Or even fruit. Or even the Lindt chocolate she loves.
I wanted and still want the photo's of mom's life, but it is a year that I have been asking for them and nothing. I want to get her photo's up on her wall.
It is my sister's that are stopping me from doing this.
I wanted to get a Handi dart pass for mom. But this didn't happen, again
I will have to apply for this myself.
And fight for the photo's for mom. How selfish is this. They are mom's and should be up on her walls. Not sitting in storage and being charged for this. I am pissed off at this as well.
I am becoming weaker and my eye sight is getting worse. My sides are starting to ache. I have no idea what this is about.
The person for share wrote me and told me that it is not to late to get the Christmas hamper. But they won't deliver it. So I have no way of getting it home. I will go tomorrow and see what can be done. If anything.
It is day 11 now.
I am really not sure how much longer I can go on like this. But I guess I will have too. No other choice.
Now I am very tired and is time for bed. Well to watch a few things I downloaded
Good night
GED bless
Kris Schmuland
Monday, December 17, 2012
I don't know
Hello again
So tonight mom was extremely agitated. She has a new mattress, which helps her to move around abit. She is not use to this and is uncomfortable.
She was fidgeting around and could not get comfortable.
Oh yea, when I arrived mom was in bed, not usual. I will have to bring this up tomorrow. So I feed her dinner in bed. She ate, but I know it was not good. I only had a half of a Papaya and a little bit of chocolate for her. And one baby banana.
I am out of everything.
But when I was leaving mom asked me, clearly, not to go. It was snowing like crazy in White Rock and it takes me 3 hours to get home. I wasn't sure if it was snowing in Coquitlam, where I live. And I take the bus. Not sure about roads. She also told me that she wasn't feeling well
This freaks me out, not being able to contact the hospital and they not being able contact me.
You need a phone in this world to get things done. And I have many calls to make, to get myself to White Rock and get my disability going. Or even to find out if it is to late for the Christmas food hamper.
But it was only raining in Coquitlam.
So day 9
I was freezing cold and soaking wet when I arrived home. I am feeling very weak today
Good night
Kris Schmuland
So tonight mom was extremely agitated. She has a new mattress, which helps her to move around abit. She is not use to this and is uncomfortable.
She was fidgeting around and could not get comfortable.
Oh yea, when I arrived mom was in bed, not usual. I will have to bring this up tomorrow. So I feed her dinner in bed. She ate, but I know it was not good. I only had a half of a Papaya and a little bit of chocolate for her. And one baby banana.
I am out of everything.
But when I was leaving mom asked me, clearly, not to go. It was snowing like crazy in White Rock and it takes me 3 hours to get home. I wasn't sure if it was snowing in Coquitlam, where I live. And I take the bus. Not sure about roads. She also told me that she wasn't feeling well
This freaks me out, not being able to contact the hospital and they not being able contact me.
You need a phone in this world to get things done. And I have many calls to make, to get myself to White Rock and get my disability going. Or even to find out if it is to late for the Christmas food hamper.
But it was only raining in Coquitlam.
So day 9
I was freezing cold and soaking wet when I arrived home. I am feeling very weak today
Good night
Kris Schmuland
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