Friday Friday

Hello again

I leave early today, so I can get downtown and do what is needed. This way I can jump on the train and get to mom's early. Well, after I get on the bus to White Rock, the driver announces that there was a large accident on the Freeway and we will be re-routing. I arrived in White Rock later than normal. I had to get what I needed, not all of it, and almost run down the street so I could get to mom's on time. Just made it, when dinner was being served. And I hurt my legs, walking so fast.

I did this so I could get their early to wash mom's hair before dinner. But I washed her hair after dinner.

Mom can't feed herself, so I do it for her. It is messy and mom does not always open her mouth wide enough for me to get her dinner in. So it ends up all over her front and myself. It is OK. These things happen in life. As we get older and develop diseases, we rely on others. As mom does with me. And I have chosen to do this for mom and I am very happy to make sure she is loved. Unconditionally.

There has been nothing in my life this important to me. As I have said before, I am nothing. And if it were not for me looking after my mother. I could not tell you if I would even be around to be writing this Blog. I do appreciate everyone who reads this.

Some days there are many and some days, but a few. I wish I knew all of you who read this to thank you personally.

It has been read by individuals in all many different countries

I am not sure if mom ate enough, or she just wanted her hair washed. But either way, mom did eat quite a bit.

Mom was tired as it is the weekend and this is the norm. Considering she is tortured all week. Yes that is what I wrote. Mom is being tortured. And her stress presents in rigidness of hands,and legs, as well as her left arm and hand. I have said this before, two days of the lights and TV off, allowed mom's hand to relax and loosen, opening up.

With this roommate, it is like Guantanamo bay. constant TV, lights and delusions, which she is having conversations with no one. But insists that they are in front of her. No peace and quit, at all. This would drive me over the edge and I would be freaking out.

This is what I will be stating to the staff, from now on, as well as the management. And Pivot legal Society Maybe this might be the only way they will understand what is being done to my mother.

Anyways, I like the nurse that has been on for the last few days. She gives mom her nightly medication early. This way I hold mom's hand, which by the way is the best feeling one can have, knowing that mom just wants to hold your hand while she falls asleep. With her getting her medication early, mom can fall asleep without being awaken to get her medication. So when I leave, mom is almost completely asleep, but waits until I sing to her and give her a big hug and kisses.

I love this feeling I get while their and when I leave. Someone relies on me, and I am there for her.

OK, I ask for help. I am poor and without anything. And at this moment in time, I consider myself to be nothing. But the one thing I do have is knowing that I am there for someone and I loyal to a fault. That I have not let my mother down. That I have been and always will, be their everyday. As I have been for many, many years.

No one can believe that I travel 3 hours each way for my mom. I can only do this with the help of my GOD. People say that mom would not be around if it were not for me.

I really don't believe this, but it could be true. I like to think that it is the fact that mom is healthy and has always been this way. That GOD is taking care of her.

I don't think mom is suffering at all. Frustrated though.

OK I am done for the night. To tired.

GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland

Oh no

Hello again

I am so tired tonight. It was one of those nights where I woke up every hour. I just couldn't sleep. So today I walked around in a haze. I guess in a good mood.

My hearing has been really bad lately. I am having to say pardon me all the time. My right leg is becoming increasingly stiff. I am in pain all day, everyday. Not fun!

I spoke with Rogers about the Spam, and they still insist that I am the one who chose to receive these emails. They asked me if my problem is solved to my satisfaction. No I told them. So they are passing this on to the ombudsmen office. Within their own company. Right

So more crap.

Today I had to go into Vancouver, but I made it to mom's early. Which is a good thing. I picked her up some dinner. A beef rape. This mom will eat. And she did, plus the dinner served to her. And of course the papaya and her chocolate. Wow, was mom full. As soon as we finished dinner, mom started to fall asleep.

I picked her up another pillow, a medium soft pillow. To go with the other one I bought her last week. This one she really likes. I like it as well. I wish I could get a couple for myself. Mine are old and worn. Oh well, not going to happen. Mine are very uncomfortable to sleep on. Maybe this is why I don't sleep well. My pillows.

Anyways. As soon as mom got into bed, she was off to sleep. Even while I was giving mom her spa treatment, she barely moved. When the nurse came into give mom her medication, I had to wake her up. This she didn't like to much. Afterwards she grabbed my hand and held on tight, while she fell back to sleep.

We ate in her room tonight, as the roommate was out and it was very quit. We had her stereo on, and it was enjoyable. Mom was very relaxed and happy. Peaceful. No TV, no other noise. Just what mom needed.

I need to print out the first letter I gave to the home, to have the roommate moved. But my printer is dead and I can't afford the little it costs to print a few letters out at the library. These are important letters that need to be printed.

I ask GOD for help, but nothing. I am a good person, most people like me and want to speak with me. And they will tell me everything about themselves. I mean everything.

I sang to mom through out dinner and she loved this, smiled the whole time. I do say I have a good voice.

I tucked mom in and sang our good night song. Even though she was asleep. And kissed her good night. And left, only to miss the bus and had to wait another half hour. Which got me home at 11:30 tonight.

It is now almost 1 am and time to go

GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland

The wind, the wind

Hello again

It is wild weather here in Vancouver. The wind is blowing at over 40 klms per hour and is pouring rain as well. Just walking to mom's was, as if, there was someone in front of me pushing at me. And I am a 200 lbs man.

Last night.  I finally gave mom a good valentines dinner, plus chocolate. And mom enjoyed every bit of it. The pasta I make for her. Stuffed cannelloni, with shrimp and beef, and ricotta cheese, smothered in a home made marinara sauce. All home made. I have a pasta machine, which I don't get to use that often. OK, I don't have the time, or I don't make the time. Friday night, I had the time, I was doing mom's and my laundry. So three loads and then the dryer time.

Needless to say I was up until 3 am doing all this. I needed to get the laundry done. I didn't put the sauce on it until the morning and baked it. As the sauce tastes better the next day. I now I have extra sauce which I froze for future dishes.

Well mom was full last night and tired. I got her changed for bed. The staff put her into bed, then I gave mom her spa treatment, while I gave her some of the chocolate, I bought for her. All good. I sang to her, I haven't been doing this as much lately. I need the practice. I am sure mom slept well. She was asleep when I left.

Today, is bath day. And I made mom a 4 cheese and mushroom omelet and toast. Mom ate all of this, plus her usual avocado and most of the dinner she was served from the home.

I don't eat like this, at all. I make things for mom that are nutritious and healthy. I need mom to eat healthy and different from what is served to her. Which is not very good.  They offered me, a dinner tonight, I tired it and well, very disappointed. As they are all like this.

Mom is very happy and healthy.  Well dressed. I am doing everything I can for her. OK, I really believe I can do so much more. Mom wants me to stay a little longer at night. But I have to leave. I have to leave. This I am not impressed about.

Mom is all I have left for family, so I must make sure she is treated well.

I have been trying to find a place out their for a very long time. I am even willing to take a shared accommodations. But all the individuals who have responded to my add, have homes way out of the way. So I still continue to look.

I want to share a few things from the bible. These I received the other day, from a daily devotional emails

GOD Bless and good night

Kris Schmuland


Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of Mine, you did for Me. — Matthew 25:40

If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.  — 1 John 3:17–18

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, ‘Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,’ but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.  — James 2:14–17