Sad

Hello again

I sing a song, that I made up, to mom every night. And I was thinking about this, this morning. And it dawned on me that one day I will sing this song for the last time. It brought tears to my eye's. As it is doing now. GOD bless that mom lives a long and healthy life. With happiness and joy. I know it is going to happen, as it will with each and every one of us. But just thinking about it it bringing about, or brought about very sad feelings today.

It makes me really want and need to be living in White Rock. As I need to do more for my mother.

Someone asked me today if I had friends. The answer is no, I do not have any friends. They all abandoned me, shortly after I started to be a caregiver for my mother and father and then completely, after my father passed and I decided to look after mom full time. OK as full time as I can do, with all the traveling that I do.

They don't see what benefit it has for me. They think I should own a house, be married and have kids. Have a steady career. And be in deep dept. OK that is all well and good, but who would be their for mom. NO ONE! It didn't even take me very long to make this decision to look after my ailing parents. It was just like that, which I made this decision. Without hesitation.

I am single and have been this way for a very long time. I have dated, but no one has really sparked my interest. Lets face it, who wants a person who is poor and has absolutely nothing. Can't even afford to move closer to help look after his mother. Or even eat healthy, or even eat. Can't afford it, most of the time. I am very proud of the fact that I do look after my mother and am willing and wanting to be closer to even do more for her. This would all be good, yet I need to do this.


Yes I can do whatever later on. And that is fine for me. But I need to be closer to mom. I am tired of living in Coquitlam. And it is time. But I just can't seem to catch a break. I need help. And can't find it. Everyone tells me that a place is just around the corner. What corner is it around. I would like to know. Please let it be this next corner.

Mom was not so tired tonight, She did eat more tonight. But the roommate issue still bother's her and it in turn bother's me. I have been putting it out there that mom needs to move. I couldn't get in touch with the patients care coordinator. So I will be writing a letter so she has a hard copy of the conversation I will be having with her. Everything in writing. This has always been my motto. Why it changed I am not sure. But back to this I will be going.

Mom just wanted to just hang out with me tonight. I was speaking with someone and mom became made at this. I know she has no one during the day and this is the time she gets to spend with her son. I love this and will respect this. If someone wishes to speak to me, they will have to wait until after I finish visiting with mom. She wanted her ears cleaned and her spa treatment. And to hold my hand until she fell asleep. This makes it all worth while.

I love my mother and would do anything for her. And will fight for her rights, no matter what it takes. That is what a son should do for their mother. Honor your mother and father. Honor the widow.

GOD bless and good night.

Kris Schmuland

Is there more

Hello again

So I want to start by saying that mom is very tired lately. This is due to the hallucinations of her roommate. She is constantly calling for the nurses or the care aids. The TV is on all the time and it is loud. No matter what the staff does, the TV goes back on. The lights are on all the time. The roommate gets upset and yells at the staff and gets very agitated.

Mom needs to move. And maybe, the person that is married to one of the family members, can pass this on to my sister's. So maybe they can complain as well.

I certainly will be doing this, first thing in the morning. And I won't be asking that they move mom. But telling them. First off, it is not mom who should be moved, it is the roommate.

Mom does not want to be around her anymore. She is to disrupted to mom's sleep. Mom has been tired, when I arrive and not eating much at all. She just grabs my hand and wants to go to sleep. I do everything I can to get mom to eat something. Yet it is not much.

This is a direct result of mom's roommate keeping her awake. I have watched and studied the roommate. When her hallucinations flare up, mom looses sleep.

The women should not be in this place with this problem. She should be in another hospital where they can find out what is needed to help alleviate the hallucinations. Get her on the proper medication and stabilize the women. Before she is put back in with others. So she is not disturbing other residents.. There is such a place next door. A temporary psychiatric facility. Their function is to stabilize these individuals and then place them back out into the community. Usually 3 to 6 months.

The time is now to get this done. Move mom or actually move the roommate.

Now for a little about myself.

I do complain about my sister's and there lack of, well, anything to do with mom. They don't really help mom and I am sure they don't understand mom at all.

But I do spend allot of time with self deprecating  examination of my life. I am 50 and I have nothing. I can't even afford to rent a proper place in White Rock. I am very limited with my budget and it is stopping from moving to White Rock. Furniture is not the problem. I can find everything I need to furnish a place. Well except a proper bed. And a decent TV. Which I don't have. And I can't watch what I have on my computer on the old TV's. There is two things, then I need new. A bed and a TV. No money to rent a proper place, so I don't see money for the bed or TV.

My life is looking after my mother. I made this decision and I have no regrets. Mom just holding my hand is enough to make it all worth while. The trust that she has for me. The comfort. This is what I want and need to do. So I guess I am very OK with everything. NOT. What I am not OK with is living so far away. If something were to happen to mom I just can't get their. And this really worry's me the most. I want to be able to be their for her lunch and then back for dinner. To get her out and about. To see different places around White Rock.

I am very good with being mom's caregiver. I just have been looking for some help. Not help with looking after mom. But help with moving to White Rock. To be close so I can also deal with whatever needs to be taken care of with the staff. Dealing with all the issues that surround mom's care.

Mom does not want me to leave at night until she falls asleep. She just holds on tightly, to my hand and won't let go.

I wish I could stay, I need to leave to get home before midnight. If I don't catch the 8 pm bus, from White Rock. It is after 11:30 when I get home. This alone is a major problem for me. It is so late and I still have things to do when I get home at night. As in writing this blog, answering emails. And watch a little something.

I pray to GOD all the time for help and nothing. I always thank GOD every night for HIM healing her.

Time for me to go again. I have so much to say write about. I could go on for a very long time.

GOD bless and good night.

Kris Schmuland

Any given, well today!

Hello again

Well today, I found out that the care staff don't want me in the room when they are changing mom. There has not been any problems for the last several months. I guess they are worried that I might been judging them, secretly watching them on how they are doing or if they are treating my mother with respect or are they abusing her. Is that why they don't want me in the room when they change her.

I really don't know what the deal is. I will be speaking with them concerning this. I am her son and she is my mother. If I choose to be in the room, that is my business.

And I will not let mom sit in her own filth as they do. If I find out she is sitting in a mess, I will change her myself.

I made mom a home cooked meal today and she just loved it. I can't believe that she ate the whole thing. I can, actually. I am a great cook. And compared to the crap they serve. McDonalds is better. And I hate McDonalds.

I have not mentioned, until now, where the food comes from. Is is made in Toronto, frozen and then shipped to Vancouver, where it is re-heated and then served to the residents. Isn't this just great.

They PGT keeps telling me that the home serves nutritious meals and it is up to them to give her the nutrition she needs. You would think so, wouldn't you. But how can anything be good if it is cooked and processed on the other side of the country. Really!

And putting mom to bed on Sunday's right after her bath, has to stop. As it is they don't get mom up and into her chair until noon and I put her to bed at 6 pm.

Well a little better

Hello again'

So I took some allergy medicine and this helped me out greatly, when I was getting mom ready for bed. No where near as bad as the last week. The flowers are still going strong.

So I forgot to mention the very first thing I do when I arrive at mom's place is go into her room, turn down the bed. Move the bed over and bring the lift over, to put mom to bed.

I will be mentioning this. If it were not for me, mom would not have any clothing. Or the replacement clothing I have to keep buying, because my sister's keep taking mom's clothing. I search all over the place for the best deal on quality clothing for mom. I refuse to buy her junk. And I search for sale prices.

If it were not for me mom would not get nutritious foods, smoothies, fresh fruit, the drinks she loves. I, again, search out the best deals on everything I get for her. I carry 2 six packs of coke home, in a bag. Plus the two other bags I carry everyday. These six packs are very heavy.

If it were not for me, mom would not have a daily spa treatment. A massage, daily,  lotions applied daily.

If it were not for me, who would fight for mom's rights. To stop the abuse that our seniors go through. Yes I deal with mom's issues. But this is for all of the seniors. If I stop something, maybe another child will see this and stand up to these institutions that warehouse our loved one's and abuse them freely, without any consequences to their actions.

This is one of the main reasons for me to be in White Rock. I will be their and things will be drastically different. I will stop every and all abuse my mother goes through. One her roommate and the TV being on all night and loud. The lights being on all the time. And mom having to sit in her own filth for hours on end and then she gets a rash. And they go, your mom has a rash. Really. Again, would you let a baby sit in its own filth for any length of time, then why would one let a senior sit in their filth for even an hour.

And this place has this policy, that they make threats to anyone who dare to question their actions. They tell the children of their parents that if they want to continue to be part of their loved one's care, they will do what they say. Or they will be banned from coming to see their loved one's. This is exactly what they do.

And it is time this stops. They need someone to stop this and that person is me. I will stand up to anyone who thinks they will get away with abusing my mother.

This is why it is so important to move to White Rock and do this now.

I won't deal with the staff their. I will go way above their heads. This is the way I have always done things. The trickle down effect. Start at the top. You will get things down this way.

Fraser health has a complaint department, which from what I understand takes complaints seriously.

I write everything down. I take notes and I write this blog and write what is going on, on here.

Tonight mom was very tired, as the roommate kept mom awake last night. Constantly calling the staff, having hallucinations. Keeping mom awake. And they do nothing about it.

Even though, when she moved in with mom, it was not even two weeks late that I complained about what was happening and what was going to happen. And the staff are always telling me, your mom is so tired. REALLY! I asked them to move this roommate, nothing has been done about it and it has been since last November. This is the kind of treatment the residents get. Nothing. ABUSE!

OK I will stop now, I need to find this email of someone who wrote me, letting me know of a place where I can call and be able to pick out what I need for furniture and kitchen wares. And everything else. For free. It is time I start getting what I need. As I need everything, because I have nothing. No furniture at all.

I see an advocate this week and the first thing I am going to ask is about the rental supplement program, for low income individuals, as myself. Poor people, as myself. Destitute as I have been called.

GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland