Hello again
It has been a few days since my last post. I had to get up really early yesterday to see a lawyer and was extremely tired last night. I didn't even eat, I went to bed and watched something. When I say something, I mean I started to watch an old episode of Bones and fell asleep, pretty much right away. The program kept repeating its self.
Now for the title, Cash is king. I was writing about a place that I went to look at. I was given an application and I filled it out.
Anyways, I didn't get it. I called and he told me that someone came and gave him a damage deposit. Basically, if I had the cash I would of had the place.
And it turns out that this lady, who's husband is in the same place as mom. Who I speak with daily. This place that I looked at is her hair dressers place and she knew about the place a while ago.
I am a little upset that she never informed me of it. She knows I have been looking for a place. But I am glad that I didn't get it. I don't want someone to know that much about me. They know each other and they would talk. Enough said
The clamp that holds mom's head rest on, is broken. So I mentioned to the staff to have it fixed. As it is not good for mom to not have a head rest. She flexes her neck, when I feed her, when I give her something to drink etc....This is dangerous, as this can cause mom to choke, which it already has a couple of times. I try to get mom to not tilt her head back like that when drinking, but it is hard for her. So I put my hand behind her neck to stop this. And have placed my pullover behind her neck, this evening. It helped.
Anyways, the staff mentioned to me last night that I have to purchase the part and they will install it, for a fee, of course.
I went to check out how much the part is, and for a clamp, it is $69.95 plus tax. And for the company, who mom got the chair from, to install it. It would be an automatic $55.00 charge for just showing up and then another $60.00 to fix it. There are only two screws that hold it on. Figure it out. It just takes an allan key to install it. Two screws, $200.00 dollars.
I have the allan keys, and I will just get the part and install it myself. I will have it done in a few days. Where as if the company where to install it, they would have to invoice the PGT first and wait to get the go a head from the PGT then set a time to go fix the chair. This would take over a week to get this done.
Well mom ate very well this evening. I was able to bring her dinner. She had stuffed sole, with crab meat, shrimp and cream cheese (imitation crab),with caramelized onion relish, 8 bean salad and avocado. Fresh squeezed lemon on the fish. This is how I like mom to eat. I don't eat like this. I am having hot dogs tonight and soup. Good enough for me
And mom was really full. It is weird, as soon as mom holds my hand, she almost falls asleep. Her eyes close and she is relaxed. It really doesn't matter, it makes me really happy. I put her to bed and it was her spa treatment time.
There is this one towel, which I place across her chest, when I brush her teeth and wash her face. Anyways, As soon as it is placed on her chest, it puts her to sleep. And she likes it when I leave it on, even after I leave at night. So I have started to do this. It is like a security blanket for her. I have no idea why, but who am I to say any different.
I am tired again, OK still, need to go now.
Please continue to pray that I find a place.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
This is a new day
Hello again
So today I said to mom that she is not a burden to me, that I do what I do because I love her and that she raised me and it is my turn to help her out and do for her everything that she did for me.
I brought her Fat burger today, and mom just loved it. It was the king burger. And she ate all of it. Plus her nightly papaya and chocolates. Was she ever full. It was a very big burger. Which made her immediately tired.
As mom was smiling all the way to her bedroom, I changed her and got her into bed. Did the normal nightly thing. When I was finished, mom was all but asleep. I had to wake her up for the staff to change her. And when I got back, after the staff changed her, she was back asleep. I got her to drink a little after they gave her the nightly medication.
And off to sleep she went. Snoring and all. I sang our good night song to her. Gave her a kiss and left. I stayed until she was completely asleep.
I am in so much pain today. I am having a hard time walking. I need to just go to bed.
So a short blog tonight
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
So today I said to mom that she is not a burden to me, that I do what I do because I love her and that she raised me and it is my turn to help her out and do for her everything that she did for me.
I brought her Fat burger today, and mom just loved it. It was the king burger. And she ate all of it. Plus her nightly papaya and chocolates. Was she ever full. It was a very big burger. Which made her immediately tired.
As mom was smiling all the way to her bedroom, I changed her and got her into bed. Did the normal nightly thing. When I was finished, mom was all but asleep. I had to wake her up for the staff to change her. And when I got back, after the staff changed her, she was back asleep. I got her to drink a little after they gave her the nightly medication.
And off to sleep she went. Snoring and all. I sang our good night song to her. Gave her a kiss and left. I stayed until she was completely asleep.
I am in so much pain today. I am having a hard time walking. I need to just go to bed.
So a short blog tonight
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Where or where
Hello again
I recently received a comment that suggests I move to Surrey and move into a shared accommodation. Though I do appreciate the comment. I have also, on top of looking for my own place, been looking for shared accommodation in the White Rock, South Surrey area.
I have looked at several of them. I do not do drugs, nor do I drink. I don't want to be around anyone who smokes pot or drinks heavily. I live in this situation already and wish to be free of this. I have also tired to find someone to share a place with. And these were not very good situations.
Why is it necessary to have to move to the same type of environment as I live in now. I would like to just be within walking distance. The travel is allot.
I stated that I have traveled over 10,000.00 Kms. But the fact is I have traveled over 100,000 Kms 175 to 200 kms each and everyday. For two years now. And I would not have it any other way and will continue to do this until the right place comes available. Or for someone to give me a helping hand with a break on rent. I am sure this is out their.
After all I spend my days taking care of an ailing parent. Something 95% of the population would not do. Trust me I see the none visiting relatives. Or, in my case, the daughters of my mother, who barely come to see their mother. Who think they should have a say in my mothers health care. Bullshit, I think not.
This is the same bullshit that Sherri is trying to hand me. The law states that it is the person who is the closes to the person, the one who is their, that makes the health care decisions.
A survey was sent out to the families to inform Fraser Health of what they think and feel about the care of the resident that their loved one lives. And wouldn't you know it, I never received this survey. So it was sent to the person who knows the least about my mother. The girls know nothing about what happens in this place. How mom sits in her own filth until I get their and do something about it. Whether I change her myself or I get someone to do this.
How they are trying to give mom medication, that I expressly forbid them to do. They go behind my back and speak to the individuals who really don't give a rats ass about their mother. Who will write appeasing responses to their questions. Who don't know the truth. And of course the staff at Al Hogg is the one's who made sure it was sent to them, not me. They don't want to know the truth, as I would write it. As I always write it.
Really who could make this crap up about one's life. I am a gong show. Things just keep happening to me. And I really do mind my own business. Except when it comes to mom. I will fight tooth and nail to make sure she is well taken care of. And nobody, I mean nobody is going to cause my mother any harm.
I will be reporting Sherri to the Fraser Health tomorrow. I am done with the crap. I am in to much pain to deal with this nonsense anymore.
Anyways, mom has been over tired lately, Wanting to sleep, but can't. She was very talkative this evening. I understood some of what she was saying, and understood most of her body language. As well as her facial expressions.
I was able to get together some cash this morning, so I bought mom Sushi for dinner. A women was speaking with me, while I was feeding mom dinner. Asking me if I eat while feeding mom, and that I have to eat properly or I won't be any good to mom. Of course mom over hears this. As she understands everything. Just because she can't speak, doesn't mean she does not understand what people are saying. Well mom understood that the women was saying that I should take care of myself before mom.
I will repeat this again, as I mentioned this to the women. MOM IS FIRST I AM LAST. This is the way it has been and will always be. I will be letting mom know tomorrow that everything is alright. I have a belly, so I must be eating. Of course I don't eat all the time. But I am alive
I put mom to bed and of course her nightly spa treatment followed. But I stood their and held her hand. she was just staring off into the air. I was and am worried about her. I feel she thinks she is a burden on me.
Let me make this clear. Mom is not a burden on me now or ever. I look forward to seeing her everyday. To help her out. As she looked after me when I was young. It is my turn to take care of her. And this is what I am going to continue to do. No matter what. No matter how much pain I am in. Which at the moment is considerable. The pain in my right knee is something I have never felt before. By the time I arrived home this evening, I could barely walk the last two blocks home.
I hope mom is alright. I worry so much about her. I know she is bored. Another reason to have my own place. To get her out and visit and/or eat lunch else where.
Midnight again. I guess it doesn't take long to approach this hour, when one gets home at 10:30
Need to go to bed, I am in to much pain to be up any longer. I just want to relax and watch something. Anything
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
I recently received a comment that suggests I move to Surrey and move into a shared accommodation. Though I do appreciate the comment. I have also, on top of looking for my own place, been looking for shared accommodation in the White Rock, South Surrey area.
I have looked at several of them. I do not do drugs, nor do I drink. I don't want to be around anyone who smokes pot or drinks heavily. I live in this situation already and wish to be free of this. I have also tired to find someone to share a place with. And these were not very good situations.
Why is it necessary to have to move to the same type of environment as I live in now. I would like to just be within walking distance. The travel is allot.
I stated that I have traveled over 10,000.00 Kms. But the fact is I have traveled over 100,000 Kms 175 to 200 kms each and everyday. For two years now. And I would not have it any other way and will continue to do this until the right place comes available. Or for someone to give me a helping hand with a break on rent. I am sure this is out their.
After all I spend my days taking care of an ailing parent. Something 95% of the population would not do. Trust me I see the none visiting relatives. Or, in my case, the daughters of my mother, who barely come to see their mother. Who think they should have a say in my mothers health care. Bullshit, I think not.
This is the same bullshit that Sherri is trying to hand me. The law states that it is the person who is the closes to the person, the one who is their, that makes the health care decisions.
A survey was sent out to the families to inform Fraser Health of what they think and feel about the care of the resident that their loved one lives. And wouldn't you know it, I never received this survey. So it was sent to the person who knows the least about my mother. The girls know nothing about what happens in this place. How mom sits in her own filth until I get their and do something about it. Whether I change her myself or I get someone to do this.
How they are trying to give mom medication, that I expressly forbid them to do. They go behind my back and speak to the individuals who really don't give a rats ass about their mother. Who will write appeasing responses to their questions. Who don't know the truth. And of course the staff at Al Hogg is the one's who made sure it was sent to them, not me. They don't want to know the truth, as I would write it. As I always write it.
Really who could make this crap up about one's life. I am a gong show. Things just keep happening to me. And I really do mind my own business. Except when it comes to mom. I will fight tooth and nail to make sure she is well taken care of. And nobody, I mean nobody is going to cause my mother any harm.
I will be reporting Sherri to the Fraser Health tomorrow. I am done with the crap. I am in to much pain to deal with this nonsense anymore.
Anyways, mom has been over tired lately, Wanting to sleep, but can't. She was very talkative this evening. I understood some of what she was saying, and understood most of her body language. As well as her facial expressions.
I was able to get together some cash this morning, so I bought mom Sushi for dinner. A women was speaking with me, while I was feeding mom dinner. Asking me if I eat while feeding mom, and that I have to eat properly or I won't be any good to mom. Of course mom over hears this. As she understands everything. Just because she can't speak, doesn't mean she does not understand what people are saying. Well mom understood that the women was saying that I should take care of myself before mom.
I will repeat this again, as I mentioned this to the women. MOM IS FIRST I AM LAST. This is the way it has been and will always be. I will be letting mom know tomorrow that everything is alright. I have a belly, so I must be eating. Of course I don't eat all the time. But I am alive
I put mom to bed and of course her nightly spa treatment followed. But I stood their and held her hand. she was just staring off into the air. I was and am worried about her. I feel she thinks she is a burden on me.
Let me make this clear. Mom is not a burden on me now or ever. I look forward to seeing her everyday. To help her out. As she looked after me when I was young. It is my turn to take care of her. And this is what I am going to continue to do. No matter what. No matter how much pain I am in. Which at the moment is considerable. The pain in my right knee is something I have never felt before. By the time I arrived home this evening, I could barely walk the last two blocks home.
I hope mom is alright. I worry so much about her. I know she is bored. Another reason to have my own place. To get her out and visit and/or eat lunch else where.
Midnight again. I guess it doesn't take long to approach this hour, when one gets home at 10:30
Need to go to bed, I am in to much pain to be up any longer. I just want to relax and watch something. Anything
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Monday, September 16, 2013
I humble myself before you
Hello again
I come to you today a humble and broken man. One with nothing and is nothing. A man whose only thing in his life is to serve my mother.
Without this I would have nothing in my life. As it is I have no friends anymore. They all stopped calling, as I only take care of my mother. To serve her.
I come to you to ask and beg for assistance with helping me get this place and be able to afford it for several months until I can get the extra money I need monthly.
I can't even take a part time job right now. As I travel to much and have to do this during the day for mom. Mom needs things and it is up to me to make sure she gets them. This takes time.
By living in White Rock, I can take a part time job. To be able to cover the extra that I need each month.
The guy who has the suite I mentioned last night called me today and asked if I wanted the suite. I went back there today and spoke with him and his wife for awhile. He works at the hospital. A 12 minutes walk. 12 minutes. Where as I have to spend 3 hours each way.
If I gave them everything I had each month, I still would be short. And I would have no money left over for food or the phone.
What I need is an extra $300.00 each month. This is the perfect place for me and to have mom over. A $6.00 cab ride to get mom their.
I am poor, actually below poor.
I ask for any and all assistance with this. I have been deep in prayer these last few days. I have realized that I am nothing. That the truth is if I wasn't looking after mom, who knows what would happen. I have no one, or anything.
I don't even have time to make any new friends.
Please pray and assist me if you can.
My address is 2846 Glen Drive Coquitlam, BC Canada V3B 0A4 This is on my profile as well as my phone number.
I am nothing without your support. I am nothing even with your support.
It has been a few days of reflection. Without my service to my mother I have no existence at all. I am invisible.
Maybe my plea will not go on deaf ear this time.
I do try to get things done every single day. I get up and am gone out the door within a few hours each day. I am on the phone, trying to make something happen.
By being so alone, I have noticed that my cognitive abilities have declined. I can no longer hold a conversation with someone. I can't think or even speak as I once was able to do. The only thing I can do is write and most of the time I feel it is not up to what I use to be able to do.
I am desperate, and I desperately write this blog tonight to everyone who reads it.
Thank you, though, for reading this blog. I do appreciate it very much.
It was mom's bath day today. So when I get their she is in bed. She ate OK tonight. Was very agitated, sleeping to much today. So when it was time for me to leave, mom did not want me to go. She wasn't ready for me to leave. She just wanted me to stay and hold her hand.
This I can do if I only live 13 minutes away. I could stay as long as she wants.
Mom is doing well. She is not sick anymore. I catch her singing along to the music all the time. I don't know how long it took her to fall asleep tonight. But she wasn't tired when I left.
Getting dark early these days. And mom cannot stand the florescent lights. I need to get a lamp for her night stand. As I am not able to see in the dark.
Need to go, I need to continue to pray for help. If things would work out I would be in this place within two weeks.
I can only pay 3/4 of the rent. this is all I have. I know I can go days, even a few weeks without eating/. But I do have to eat eventually.
GOD bless and good night
Please, if you can, assist me in this matter. If not for me, do it for my mother. Who relies on me being their for her.
Kris Schmuland
I come to you today a humble and broken man. One with nothing and is nothing. A man whose only thing in his life is to serve my mother.
Without this I would have nothing in my life. As it is I have no friends anymore. They all stopped calling, as I only take care of my mother. To serve her.
I come to you to ask and beg for assistance with helping me get this place and be able to afford it for several months until I can get the extra money I need monthly.
I can't even take a part time job right now. As I travel to much and have to do this during the day for mom. Mom needs things and it is up to me to make sure she gets them. This takes time.
By living in White Rock, I can take a part time job. To be able to cover the extra that I need each month.
The guy who has the suite I mentioned last night called me today and asked if I wanted the suite. I went back there today and spoke with him and his wife for awhile. He works at the hospital. A 12 minutes walk. 12 minutes. Where as I have to spend 3 hours each way.
If I gave them everything I had each month, I still would be short. And I would have no money left over for food or the phone.
What I need is an extra $300.00 each month. This is the perfect place for me and to have mom over. A $6.00 cab ride to get mom their.
I am poor, actually below poor.
I ask for any and all assistance with this. I have been deep in prayer these last few days. I have realized that I am nothing. That the truth is if I wasn't looking after mom, who knows what would happen. I have no one, or anything.
I don't even have time to make any new friends.
Please pray and assist me if you can.
My address is 2846 Glen Drive Coquitlam, BC Canada V3B 0A4 This is on my profile as well as my phone number.
I am nothing without your support. I am nothing even with your support.
It has been a few days of reflection. Without my service to my mother I have no existence at all. I am invisible.
Maybe my plea will not go on deaf ear this time.
I do try to get things done every single day. I get up and am gone out the door within a few hours each day. I am on the phone, trying to make something happen.
By being so alone, I have noticed that my cognitive abilities have declined. I can no longer hold a conversation with someone. I can't think or even speak as I once was able to do. The only thing I can do is write and most of the time I feel it is not up to what I use to be able to do.
I am desperate, and I desperately write this blog tonight to everyone who reads it.
Thank you, though, for reading this blog. I do appreciate it very much.
It was mom's bath day today. So when I get their she is in bed. She ate OK tonight. Was very agitated, sleeping to much today. So when it was time for me to leave, mom did not want me to go. She wasn't ready for me to leave. She just wanted me to stay and hold her hand.
This I can do if I only live 13 minutes away. I could stay as long as she wants.
Mom is doing well. She is not sick anymore. I catch her singing along to the music all the time. I don't know how long it took her to fall asleep tonight. But she wasn't tired when I left.
Getting dark early these days. And mom cannot stand the florescent lights. I need to get a lamp for her night stand. As I am not able to see in the dark.
Need to go, I need to continue to pray for help. If things would work out I would be in this place within two weeks.
I can only pay 3/4 of the rent. this is all I have. I know I can go days, even a few weeks without eating/. But I do have to eat eventually.
GOD bless and good night
Please, if you can, assist me in this matter. If not for me, do it for my mother. Who relies on me being their for her.
Kris Schmuland
Sunday, September 15, 2013
I hate pain, I live with enough of it
Hello again
While mom is falling asleep, I am holding her hand. I give her hand a squeeze and mom smiles. This is the best feeling one could have. Mom occasionally opens her eyes to see if I am really their. Briefly.
Mary is feeling better today. I guess it was a few day flu that was or is going around. Don't worry, if you really were about to worry. I don't get sick. I can't afford to do this, as I need to be their for mom each and everyday. So I don't get sick.
It is two years now, that mom has been in White Rock and I have not missed one single day, visiting her. I have traveled well over 10,000.00 klms so far, in the two years. before this mom was in Coquitlam and I was their visiting her everyday as well. I do the right thing.
Some of the staff still can't believe that I go everyday, even though they see me.
It is what I am to do. This is what I want to do. This is why it is so important for me to be living in White Rock. To be able to hold her hand until she falls asleep. Not having to tell her I have to leave, so I can catch a bus.
I am not sure why I even pray, anymore. I will not stop thanking GOD for helping mom. But why pray for anything else. I am still in Coquitlam, I am in pain. I can not even clean my home anymore, And the others are not going to clean. So I have to live in a pig sty.
I find a place, but can't even afford to live their. I went and looked at it today. The guy likes me, understands what I am doing for mom. Now he wants to know if I am going to take it. And when can I bring a damage deposit to him.
I have to let him know tomorrow. I didn't tell him I would take it, but I do like it. It is nice and it is cheap. Close to the home and everything else. Mom would love coming over for lunch, or just to visit.
I should not of even gone to look at it. I just got my hopes up, for nothing. It made me angry for the rest of the day. OK, I am still angry. I would go without eating to live their. I might find help for this somewhere. Who am I kidding, I can't get help with this now, what makes me think it would be different in white Rock.
At least, if I was their, I could check out these two churches I see all the time. I do miss going to church.
Anyways, mom ate very well tonight. Then let me know, she wanted her nightly spa treatment. Time to go to bed, is what she said. In her own way. I understand it.
The care aid was late changing mom tonight. They know I need to be on a bus at a certain time. And all she could say was sorry. By being late, means mom has to sit in her own filth for longer. They just don't get this.
I really am going to have to change mom, myself. I feel to bad for her having to be in this situation. Of having to sit in her own filth.
It really hurts me to see mom like this. I feel deep pain because of this. I know it is because of a stroke and Dementia and I can't do anything about it.
I have said this before, I would give up my life for her. Or do anything to help her. Even sacrifice everything to make sure she has everything.
OK it is midnight again. My laundry should almost be done, so I can go to bed. Well go to my bedroom and lie on the bed and watch something. I have no idea what. I watch one show and then start another, but fall asleep during the show. And it repeats it's self. Then I wake up a while latter and watch the rest of it. If I can, without falling asleep again.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
While mom is falling asleep, I am holding her hand. I give her hand a squeeze and mom smiles. This is the best feeling one could have. Mom occasionally opens her eyes to see if I am really their. Briefly.
Mary is feeling better today. I guess it was a few day flu that was or is going around. Don't worry, if you really were about to worry. I don't get sick. I can't afford to do this, as I need to be their for mom each and everyday. So I don't get sick.
It is two years now, that mom has been in White Rock and I have not missed one single day, visiting her. I have traveled well over 10,000.00 klms so far, in the two years. before this mom was in Coquitlam and I was their visiting her everyday as well. I do the right thing.
Some of the staff still can't believe that I go everyday, even though they see me.
It is what I am to do. This is what I want to do. This is why it is so important for me to be living in White Rock. To be able to hold her hand until she falls asleep. Not having to tell her I have to leave, so I can catch a bus.
I am not sure why I even pray, anymore. I will not stop thanking GOD for helping mom. But why pray for anything else. I am still in Coquitlam, I am in pain. I can not even clean my home anymore, And the others are not going to clean. So I have to live in a pig sty.
I find a place, but can't even afford to live their. I went and looked at it today. The guy likes me, understands what I am doing for mom. Now he wants to know if I am going to take it. And when can I bring a damage deposit to him.
I have to let him know tomorrow. I didn't tell him I would take it, but I do like it. It is nice and it is cheap. Close to the home and everything else. Mom would love coming over for lunch, or just to visit.
I should not of even gone to look at it. I just got my hopes up, for nothing. It made me angry for the rest of the day. OK, I am still angry. I would go without eating to live their. I might find help for this somewhere. Who am I kidding, I can't get help with this now, what makes me think it would be different in white Rock.
At least, if I was their, I could check out these two churches I see all the time. I do miss going to church.
Anyways, mom ate very well tonight. Then let me know, she wanted her nightly spa treatment. Time to go to bed, is what she said. In her own way. I understand it.
The care aid was late changing mom tonight. They know I need to be on a bus at a certain time. And all she could say was sorry. By being late, means mom has to sit in her own filth for longer. They just don't get this.
I really am going to have to change mom, myself. I feel to bad for her having to be in this situation. Of having to sit in her own filth.
It really hurts me to see mom like this. I feel deep pain because of this. I know it is because of a stroke and Dementia and I can't do anything about it.
I have said this before, I would give up my life for her. Or do anything to help her. Even sacrifice everything to make sure she has everything.
OK it is midnight again. My laundry should almost be done, so I can go to bed. Well go to my bedroom and lie on the bed and watch something. I have no idea what. I watch one show and then start another, but fall asleep during the show. And it repeats it's self. Then I wake up a while latter and watch the rest of it. If I can, without falling asleep again.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
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