Hello again
I will first like to say that I can be self deprecating and self loathing. I can be depressing and very wordy. But it is just to make my point. And this is how I right. I write what comes into my head and put it down here. I just write.
So the problem I am now having is the fact that when mom has to go to the washroom, it takes forever for someone to take her. Then in the mean time. Mom goes in her depends. Which makes a mess and mom gets very mad at me because I am not doing anything about it. I tell the staff, several times, yet it is the same response, just give us 5 minutes. That 5 minutes means over 1/2 hour. They all know they have to do nothing for mom once I am their and that mom goes to bed at 7 PM. I really don't see how difficult this is. They have to do everything for all the other patients, but not mom. I do everything, except this. If I could take her to the washroom, I would. But mom is modest, and does not want me to change her. I have to cover her legs with a blanket and then take the blanket off after I put her to bed and put her cover over her. Then I pull the blanket off.
Now I have not been able to bring mom and dinner, and she is barely eating what they serve. Again, hospital food, bland, tasteless. And it is to loud in their for mom. I am going to try moving mom to another place to see if this helps.
I need to start bringing mom dinner again. I just need funds. This the PGT is becoming a pain in the ass. He thinks, he does not tell me things. I do remind him though.
He makes promises and does not keep them, As usual. I can't live like this. Christmas is two weeks away and I have absolutely nothing.
All the world is buying gifts and I watch this everyday. And I am becoming more and more depressed as the days go buy. This is the second year that it seems that Christmas is going to be crap. I can't have a recreation of last year. A nothing Christmas.
I don't know how long I have with her. 3, 5, months. 3,4 10 years. I just don't know. Due to the nature of the disease, no one knows.
I just can't do this again. Mom means everything to me, I will give anything to make her happy. But I find myself in a situation where I need real help from someone, anyone, everyone.
To all who are out their, I implore you, I beg you, I am on my knee's asking for help. As this is for my mother, not me. OK a little bit for me.
The PGT makes promises, and I should have warm clothing. Clothing period. I am freezing, my fingers especially my fingers and hands.
I am thin this year. And I don't have the extra pounds to keep me warm anymore. Wow. What a difference. I have never been cold like this. Burrr....
My jacket is now riping and I paid allot for it, many, many years ago now. It is waterproof. But not warm. I wear layers and layers. But I am not warm. My legs are even cold. This is a new feeling for me.
If the guy at the PGT kepted his word, Mom would have a great Christmas, I would have a phone, and clothing. And I would be able to bring mom dinners.
I try to do the right thing all the time. I don't even swear. I am nice to all. OK except those who do mom wrong. Then I go after them. I am very polite. I am a very well mannered individual.
I am writing to all who might be able to help me. Really I just need a little help. Oh all right, allot of help. To get things going. Well mainly to make my mother's Christmas great.
I can't even buy my mother, a bow, to put on a gift. I can't even afford a double bubble.
This is why I am not doing well this year. Last Christmas was a bust, and I have no clue how long I have mom around for. It could be 3,6, months. Or 3,6 years. I do need to make every moment count.
This is what I believe to be the right thing to do. I can work after I get fixed, when every that will be. Because I can't even sit for a hour and then my hip and leg starts to get extremely sore and then my leg goes into spasm's.
On my travels, I have a bus, for 50 minutes, a skytrain for 20 minutes and then another bus for another 40 minutes. I cannot sit for all this time. I have to stand while on the skytrain. And this is uncomfortable. To say the least.
Well I, again, ask for your hearts to open up and spread some kindness in my mother's and my direction
I to go,
GOD Bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Oh yea my address is on the blog.
