Saturday already, I mean Sunday

Hello again

It was suppose to down pour today. Where's the rain. Promises, promises.

Today, when I got to the bus loop, the bus downtown was right there, so I jumped on it. Not realizing I needed to go the other way to get mom papaya.

I did manage to get there a little early. That is good, I was able to start her dinner early, which mean't I could changed her sheets and duvet cover right after dinner.

My right arm is not working properly today, so forgive me if this is a short blog.

Now it is a casual person working tonight, so they did not even come in to change mom until after 7 pm. Not good. I hadn't even given mom her spa treatment. Just the same old crap. I am sorry I was,...... BS at it's best. New tag phrase.

So I didn't even get out of there until after 8, and didn't have time to sit with mom, holding her hand, while she fell asleep. This is part of mom's night. I could give mom her entire spa treatment. She was to tired for that. All she wanted to do was hold my hand and fall asleep. I had to many things to do. Fold all of her laundry up. Dirty sheets and clothing, pack up, get her ready for the night. One may think that this doesn't take that long, but you would be wrong.

It is not the big things I do for mom. Mom has her own cutlery, dishes etc... Which I need to wash and put away. Get mom changed, her music. the list is long.

But mom was happy though. Happy to see me, especially on bath day. In bed, to many blankets on her, very thirsty. I rush to give her drinks. And she is glad for this.

Mom did have some Gold Kiwi and pudding, (new pudding) plus some lemon bars. Oh yea and her nightly Lindt chocolate.

So I held her hand as long as I could, without having to catch the 9 pm bus, which gets me home at 1130. As it was I didn't walk in my door until 10:45. This is the first thing I have done, after my laptop connected.

What makes everything worth while is the warm smile on mom's face as she falls asleep.

I need to go now, I am very tired and need to eat something. Even though I don't have much, and I am not really hungry. I just want to watch a movie or something. To relax.

GOD bless and good night.

Please donate www.Gofundme.com/yugmns

It is important, I need to advocate for my friend, whose mother was dropped and killed by the staff at her nursing home. I need to be able to hear all who I need to contact. Lawyers, government officials etc....

Kris Schmuland

BS at it's best

Hello again

I have been mentioning that I am very poor right now and struggling. Just being able to get the things mom needs.

Yesterday, I was able to get mom some desserts and pudding, plus a few other things. Me not so much, OK, for me nothing at all. Mom has a certain drinks she likes and I have them for her. I thought I did.

I arrive today to find that the rec staff, Val, had moved mom's drinks and desserts to a fridge in the other room. I go to get them and the bag with her drinks was riped open and the bag with her desserts was gone. So now mom went without just about all of her drinks. As the bag was riped open and who knows if anyone to a drink out of any of them. And mom had to go without dessert because they were gone.

What the fuck. I was livid and just about freaking out. OK inside I was freaking out. I asked whomever was around where mom's desserts were and what are they going to do about the drinks. I can't in my right mind give mom something that someone else could of used. Not a chance. And no dessert for mom.

Mom likes chocolate pudding. One of the staff members, tried to do something for mom. But not even close. She offered mom butterscotch pudding and ice cream. Mom will not eat that pudding or the plain vanilla ice cream. So mom went without something she was looking forward too.

The same goes for tomorrow. I don't have the money to replace the drinks or the desserts. And I should not have too.

Mom heard everything I said. I told them now mom is going without and I was starting to get even more upset. So I just told them, this is all I am saying. I am going to stop now, before I freak out.

The RN came and told me to write everything down that was missing. I told him about the drinks,that I can't give them to mom, knowing that someone could of drank out of them.

Mom did understand, but was upset as well. At least she had her Lindt chocolate and papaya. But not what she was looking for.

This is the kind of Bull Shit I have to deal with.

The RN left it for the Patient Coordinator, so I expect a call first thing in the morning. If I don't receive a call by 10 am I will be on the phone.

The only thing that I will accept is, either the replacement of everything by the time I get there or the cost of everything. I had to go to three stores just to get her drinks alone. Not to mention two other stores for her pudding and dessert.

I don't just get everything in one store. They don't have all of what mom likes. I am going from store to store to get mom what she likes. This includes her fruit.

OK besides mom being upset about the dessert and drinks. Which by the way, I have exactly .50 cents to my name. Not even close to the $20.00 it is going to take to replace everything and the time it will take as well.

Now I took my time tonight feeding mom. She has been chewing her food very slowly lately. Taking a very long time to chew a mouth  full. Not even a mouth full, tiny bites. A little frustrating. But we had time. I was still very upset while feeding her. I tried and tried to calm down. Eventually, after half an hour I did. I just wasn't paying attention to the time at this point. We didn't even finish until almost 6:30 when the care aid came in to change mom's pad. I quickly got mom changed for bed. It was mom who knew what time it was. She was getting restless.

This staff member was also concerned about the missing items and the drinks. I was very frank with her about this. Telling her I don't have the money to replace everything. That I am not even eating and haven't had a meal in three weeks. I have been living off of crackers for these weeks. You noticed my mood.Well the first week and the second week I was not in a good mood. This week, I have just came to terms with the fact I won't be eating. At least tonight I have crackers. Nothing for the last several days.

Now mom, when finished being changed, was ready for her spa treatment. Yes even though that shit happened, I am still going to do everything that I would do each night for mom. I did this and very tenderly, even more so tonight. I just wanted mom to know that, even though I am upset I am still here for her. I sang loudly to her, I held her hand for allot longer tonight. Didn't even leave until after 8 pm. Around 8:15. Sure I got home later, but who cares. There is nothing here for me.

Even though, not even though. If they do nothing about it tomorrow, I will be going to the news papers about this and will be speaking to them about the tearing of mom's clothing. Even though the staff have been told repeatedly over the last 8 months about it.

I have no clue what I am going to do about things.

I still need hearing aids. I need them more now then every. To fight for not only mom's rights, but for others as well. Here is a story for you.

Last night I ran into someone I know. He does the same as I do, visit his mother daily. Not what I do for my mother, but is there for her. Well he tells me his mom is dead. That the staff were moving her from the bed to a chair and dropped her on her head, face first. They called him and told him his mom had a fall. He rushed there to find her face all messed up, the staff telling him she fell. Then they changed their toon and said they dropped her. They staff, instead of sending her to the hospital, put his mom back into bed. 4 hours later she was dead. Yes four hours later. Not even sending her to the hospital. I told him to speak to a lawyer. They killed her. Negligent homicide. He can't afford one. I said they should take this on, on a contingency basis.

This is why I need hearing aids to help him out as well as others that are going through the same thing. I could barely make out what he was saying to me. It is a good thing I can read lips. Mostly.

Please donate, not for just me, but my mother and the memory of my friends mother. ADSAAC is the organization I wish to start. I have the domain names parked.

Have to go, But the link is www.Gofundme.com/yugmns

GOD bless and good night

Kris

More heat

Hello again

Well it is another hot day for us. Yet it does cool off at night. A little more comfortable.

I tried to get out to see mom so I could take her out for a walk. But things got in my way, as usual.. I did arrive to see mom looking at the elevator, waiting for me. She saw me and a smile came upon her face from where she was. I could see it clearly.

I rushed to her and gave her a kiss hello. And gave her a nice drink of ice water. I put bottles of water in the freezer to take with me each day. This perked her up a bit.

I quickly retrieved her drinks from the fridge and took her down to her room. Unpacked quickly and sat down and gave her more to drink. As much as she could take. It was the usual, after that. A little bit of chocolate before dinner and tomatoes. I brought her  some pasta tonight, which she hasn't had in a while. Mom really ate allot of it. Most I would say. A little bit left for my dinner. Good enough. Since I haven't ate anything in many weeks. A dinner that is...

Now a few people were having conversations with me and that was upsetting mom. When I am there it is our time. We spoke about this and that was the problem. I will respect this and limit conversations with people. Or explain to them, that this is our time and if you wish to have a conversation with me, could you wait until I am leaving.

I put mom to bed, as the staff was late again coming in. The one thing mom does not like, is to wait after dinner before getting into bed. This made her extremely happy. I do say so, she is in a wheelchair for most of the day. She needs to stretch out.

And of course it is the spa treatment after the staff come and change her pad/diaper. I know mom waits for this daily. And loves it. No matter how tired she is.

And I stayed longer tonight. I have been doing this lately. Nothing for me to come back too. Nothing to cook and I am not one to go to bed when I get home. So the later I stay, the later it is when I get home. This makes it easier for me. I drink my tea to quench the hunger. But after a few days, the stomach is use to not eating

But enough of this. No one cares anyways.

So I say good night

GOD bless

Kris Schmuland

Okay then

Hello again

It is another Sunday and the rain that they keep telling us is coming, never showed up. And back to being nice out. And back to the 30 c weather we have been having. With a broken fan.

But to mom, for now, then I will continue if I have the energy.

Well as we are aware, yesterday it was bath day for mom. So, of course, she is in bed. But the staff have been changing her sheets as of late. Interesting I do say. OK though. Even though mom was in bed, at least this week they had the TV on for her. But, mom could not see it because of the padding on the rails of the bed. I will have to mention that they have to turn the bed so mom, can at least see the TV. That is the kind of lack of care that I am constantly speaking of.

But I at least had something for dinner for mom yesterday and today. Which she enjoyed. I can get her something for tomorrow, but Tuesday is a different day. I am not sure about that.

Though mom was in bed and could not see the TV, she seemed in good spirits. But mom is always happy to see me, and I her. It was an easy day, yesterday. I fed her and quickly gave her the nightly spa treatment. So by the time the staff came into change her, we were done and afterwards, I got to just hold her hand for a very long time. I was in no rush to get home to nothing, so I stayed much later than normal. Again it did not mater to me what time I got home.

Of course, as soon as I arrive, it is the usual, make sure mom has plenty to drink. Hugs and kisses. It is weird, I really don't like to be touched, but it is OK to hug mom and give her kisses. I guess it is because it is my mother. The women around there are just to damn affectionate. Always wanting hugs. Not from me, I have made it clear.

So today, mom was up and about. In a nice womens polo shirts. But always alone. Yes she doesn't speak, but she can understand and can hear. Allot better than I can, I do rely on her sometimes to let me know if someone is behind me. She looks and then looks at me. Body language. Which I do understand very well.

I had a dinner for her, something she likes. And the other things. I finally got her red packages of Lindt chocolate. More papaya and gold kiwi. plus some other chocolate. As a before dinner treat.

The staff member came in very late tonight, so it was not until 7:30 that I started her spa treatment. That was OK though. It just meant I left later. The same time as yesterday and I am glad. Nothing here for me. Empty everything.

I did everything and then I packed up quickly, so I could spend time just holding mom`s hand, while she fell asleep.

I got home at 11:00 Tonight. I am just going to watch something and that will be that.

I have been very dizzy lately. The side effects of not eating. Not a fast. I just don`t have anything or anyway of getting it. So this is what it has been like for weeks now. I don`t really remember the last time I had a meal.

And I was raised to think that GOD will supply my needs. Isn`t eating a need. Oh well, enough of that.

So I continue. I don`t know how long I can last, but I guess we will see. As mentioned been feeling dizzy as of late.

But I will not stop going to see mom, no matter how bad it gets or I feel. Very tired though.

I am done, I just want to watch something now. And I have no idea what. I have a laptop full of stuff and I don't know what to watch.

I just want to be able to stay longer while visiting mom.

I have waited on the Lord for a very long time. I do what I can for myself. Yet nothing. I just want to live close to her. Is that to much to ask of GOD. I think not.

I am only going to pray for mom, from now on.

GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland

Please donate to help me buy hearing aids. www.Gofundme.com/yugmns