Maybe rain. Let's hope.

Hello again

Well today, has been a very bad day for me. I have been overly emotional and my ankle has been killing me for months now, but today, my entire right leg has been sore. So sore that it has been very difficult walking today.   And  I have been just worrying about mom. For nothing.

Now mom today, as she has been in the last few days, has been very tired. I don't know what to think about this.

But she was extremely thirsty today, and I was carrying a heavy load. I just needed to get her things from the fridge and ;go down to her room. I had allot to unpack, but mom needed something to drink. So as I was unpacking her drinks I was giving them to her. But she been doing this weird thing, where she will take a drink and hold it in her mouth for a second, then swallow it. Thus chocking on it. And then coughing. I have to wait a few more seconds before I give her more to drink from now on.

She had a good dinner, then her dessert. Mom ate well this  evening. yesterday, she didn't eat a whole lot. But she ate none the less. And I guess mom was making up for it tonight. Which is a good thing. So as soon as the care aid came in and put her to bed, I gave her the nightly spa treatment. The full treatment. And off to wash the dishes and get to the bath room.

Now afterwards, After the LPN gave mom the nightly medicine. I came back and gave mom something to drink. Well she did her thing again, but this time she coughed and coughed for a long time. She had the gurgle breathing. Which really worried me. She was breathing, and not coughing anymore. But I didn't want to leave until her breathing was normal again. I got the LPN to come in and take a look at her. She told me to leave her upright and that mom will be fine, she is breathing and that will go away, in time.

I was OK, but I worried all the way home and then called there when I got back. To where I stay.

She is fine and sleeping well.

Now it has been almost a year since I started having to deal with the staff tearing mom's clothing. And still nothing has been done about it. And last spring I had allot of her clothing adapted. Well over 1/4 of them, the staff have almost torn in half. Especially her night gowns. When I had them adapted I said to the PGT, instead of paying for this, which will cost to much money. Allow me to purchase a sewing machine and I will do it myself. As it is I am mending her clothing, needle and thread. by hand. What do you think the case manager said. NO. So it has cost allot of money and the staff are still tearing her clothing. Now the items need to be repaired.

So I now have suggested again.  Instead of paying for this. Let me get a sewing machine and I will do it myself. I know how to use a sewing machine. Mom taught me. And I emailed the PGT and nothing so far.

What do expect the answer will be. They would rather waste my mother's money on a seamstress, than let me get a sewing machine and do it myself. I would make it so that it will take force to tear the clothing. And if the staff do tear them. It will be done maliciously.

And the PGT still does not see that the manual I need is to protect mom. The case manager at the PGT tells me it is for me. Yes for me to use to protect mom.

And this case manager at the PGT keeps making threats against me. It seems it is every other email that she,the case manager at the PGT is making some kind of threat.

They just don't get it. I will do whatever it takes to protect mom. They don't remember me picketing them, or plastering flyer's all over the place around there office. Or even me standing outside the office handing out the flyer's.

Don't threaten me. As it is she,the case manager at the PGT sends me emails that make no sense.

The clothing needs to be repaired. Or new clothing. But they will need to be adapted. Well not a chance, until something is done to the staff.

It is almost fall and mom needs some new clothing.

So I am done and time to go.

It now has been 6 days of my fast. No food at all, just herbal tea and Earl Grey. I am just not getting it.

I am also going to delete my campaign to purchase hearing aids. I guess I am not allowed to hear properly. I guess I get to go deaf. That what it seems like.

No one giving a shit if I loose my hearing or not. I need to hear to help mom.

I am extremely pissed off. I realize what I have always realized. That people are selfish and just don't give a rats ass. But to donate to a movie, sure. To donate to someone who did something that was entirely their fault, and they got injured. No problem. Tens of thousands of dollars will be donated to these fools. You feel sorry for them.

I was not my fault I was in accidents  and the trauma from the accidents has caused me to not hear clearly behind me. Or my hearing loss.

What about someone who quite drinking and smoking pot, to take care of their parents. Yes I am a recovering alcoholic and pot head. It has been over a decade now. Clean and sober. And the whole time taking care of my parents. Well now, parent. And being injured, in pain 24/7 fibromyalgia is just one of the things wrong with me. Parkinson's, Loss of hearing, and a whole slew of other things.

Yet I never stop or will never stop traveling the 3 hours each way. Even though all the carrying I do,is starting to take a toll on me, but I will not stop. I will always take care of mom.

www.Gofundme.com/yugmns Please. I will be deleting this, this weekend. Trying another site.

I am fasting to see if there is actually a GOD. I have been a believer all of my life. Defending GOD and my beliefs. But now I am just lacking faith and need real help. Not words that everyone is telling me. Wait, trust or you will be blessed for what you are doing for your mom.

GOD bless and goodnight

Kris Schmuland

I was cold, Maybe the fast

Hello again

Well I know this blog isn't the most popular, but it has been read a fair bit. Not as much as I would like, but what is. But I thank all of you for reading it.

I was cold on my way home this evening. Maybe the fast that I am on. Day 5 and won't stop until I get hearing aids. If it kills me.

Now mom was so happy to see me today and I am feeling overly affectionate lately. I feel I have all this love to share. I just want to hug mom, and squeeze, But I won't as I don't want her to hurt her. So I hug her lightly. And often this evening.

Mom wanted a big messy burger today and that is exactly what I brought her. And she ate all of it, fries as well and her avocado. Plus her dessert. Great. She didn't like the pasta I brought her last night. I think it was the ground chicken I used instead of ground beef. A difference in taste. So it is ground beef from now on  But the beef was more than the chicken.  Strange isn't it.

Mom had plenty to drink. And after dinner I changed her quickly. After I changed mom, this women came in and saw mom and asked if she was OK. I said mom is listening to music. I put her chair between the speakers, so she has the best listening position. Mom had her eye's closed and a smile on her face as I was saying this. Just listening to music. The women took a second look and went oh, I see. This is so cool.

She was put into bed and then her spa treatment. When done I just held her hand, while we waited for her nightly medication. And the LPN came and I just continued to hold her hand until it was time to leave.

Off I went, missed the one bus, needed to wait for half and hour for the next one.

As mentioned, day 5 of my fast. Even McDonald's spells good.

I need to go

GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland

You can feel the change in the weather

Hello again

Yes you can feel the change in weather and it getting darker sooner. We are loosing 3 minutes a day. Getting dark at 8:30 pm. And the nights are much cooler. No need for a fan. Sure it is hot during the day, still, but not the same as it was a month ago.

So I rushed today so I could get out and take mom out for a bit before dinner. But when I arrived mom was very tired. Almost sleeping in her chair. Of course, no one to talk too. Or anyone talking to her.

I would love to get mom a computer with a touch screen. Specializing in someone who can't speak. Someone with strokes, that knows what they want to say, but can't speak. Something which mom just has to touch a certain window, with, like, I am hungry, Hello, I am thirsty, Bathroom, How are you. Are you getting what I am trying to say.  I sure this type of thing is out there. Where to find it, that is the question.

Anyways. Mom was very tired, So I couldn't take her out. She just didn't want to go outside. I just took her to her room, gave her drinks, turned the TV on to our Sunday dinner show. And said to mom she could eat sleep. This is where she has her eye's closed while I feed her. And mom is OK with this. It has happened many times before. That is how much she trusts me. Completely. And that is cool. She didn't even want all of her dessert, except the papaya and her chocolates. That was it.

But after dinner, I quickly changed her and put a blanket over her, held her hand while we waited for the staff to come in and put her to bed. At this time I went and washed the dishes.

When I came back into her room, mom was almost asleep. I was only able to give mom a partial spa treatment. Just her face and arms. And mom fussed about doing her arms. So I stopped there. Just put the cosmetics away, except a few items I need to re-due after she got her nightly medication. We call it a touch up. Then it simply was just holding her hand.

I stayed longer again, I have nothing to come back too. So I stay.

Day 3 of my fast to see if there is a GOD and if He will answer my prayer. Hearing aids and getting closer to mom. I just can't do this anymore.

I travel this 180 km's everyday. And it is 4 years now that I have done this. I will keep doing this no matter what

I need to go now. More tea, this time a herbal tea for the night.

GOD bless and good night.

Kris Schmuland