Hello again
So the other day, mom was so tired she could barely eat. I tried and it was getting frustrating. It was not mom's fault, it was and is the roommates fault for keeping mom awake.
Now it is affecting mom's health. And I will be screaming at them on Monday. Enough is enough!
I did get her to eat something. But when mom is this tired, she will just chew and chew. Even if she has already finished what she had in her mouth. Or she chews and chews and has a hard time swallowing. This is because she is very tired and not very hungry.
So enough is enough.
Yesterday, when I was leaving, the roommate was asleep, so I turned off the TV and lights and that was that. I informed the staff that I did this. I thought maybe mom could get a good night sleep.
Well I arrived today and mom was well rested and happy. She ate a full dinner and dessert. Had lots to drink. So well hydrated.
Got her to bed and gave her the nightly spa treatment. Held her hand. Oh yea, I read to her while we waited for the care aid to come and change mom and transfer her to bed. It was a few days that we were able to read. So this was a good thing.
I stayed latter than usual, I was still able to get back at a decent time. Now I am doing mom's and my laundry. I will be finished at 12:30 am. .
The roommate tonight was having serious hallucinations and arguing about it with me. Telling me that someone was in the room, when the person was in the dinning room.
Well I am talking to her right now, she tells me. I just ignored her and went about my business with mom. And after dinner I didn't bother with her. Still having hallucinations and still trying to tell me the person is their.
I just let the staff deal with it.
I have to go now. Late and tired myself. I still have things to do, tonight.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Thursday, March 20, 2014
A good day
Hello again
So other's agree with my conspiracy theory on what happened to the missing plane. In this day of modern technology, how is it possible to not be able to find a very large plane. Especially since half or more of the world is looking for it.
When I can find someone's address from their IP address. shouldn't it be easy, one would think, to find the plane.
A UFO took it. LOL! You never know.
Well, when I was in Vancouver today, I went to the PGT and asked if they released the photo's of mom and dad. And they did not.
This is where my trust issue comes in. Why after over a decade, when they took everything of mom and dads, they decided to give me the photo's. I thought all the photo's of myself were lost forever. So it is a good thing I would say. But that is all I will say. Suspect!
Being downtown, I ended up getting to White Rock, later than I normally get there. I did have time to do anything except get down to the home. At least I brought mom dinner and she had some dessert.
Of course mom was happy to see me, told me she loved me, clearly. This makes me feel great.
After dinner I wanted to sit with mom and go through the photo album, but mom was to tired and just wanted me to read to her. So I will get their early tomorrow and wash her hair, then sit with her and go through the album. As much as we can go through before dinner.
I really have to start getting their earlier, as mom associates me with dinner, spa treatment, then bed.
This is why it is so important for me to be living in White Rock. So I can be their during the day and come back for dinner.
We read, I sang to her. Got her in bed, the spa treatment. Then I held her hand, while she had this wonderful smile on her face.
Mom and I are really done with the constant TV, lights and delusions. Time to spread my wings again, and contact all the places I intend to call, to get something done about this.
Time to go
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
So other's agree with my conspiracy theory on what happened to the missing plane. In this day of modern technology, how is it possible to not be able to find a very large plane. Especially since half or more of the world is looking for it.
When I can find someone's address from their IP address. shouldn't it be easy, one would think, to find the plane.
A UFO took it. LOL! You never know.
Well, when I was in Vancouver today, I went to the PGT and asked if they released the photo's of mom and dad. And they did not.
This is where my trust issue comes in. Why after over a decade, when they took everything of mom and dads, they decided to give me the photo's. I thought all the photo's of myself were lost forever. So it is a good thing I would say. But that is all I will say. Suspect!
Being downtown, I ended up getting to White Rock, later than I normally get there. I did have time to do anything except get down to the home. At least I brought mom dinner and she had some dessert.
Of course mom was happy to see me, told me she loved me, clearly. This makes me feel great.
After dinner I wanted to sit with mom and go through the photo album, but mom was to tired and just wanted me to read to her. So I will get their early tomorrow and wash her hair, then sit with her and go through the album. As much as we can go through before dinner.
I really have to start getting their earlier, as mom associates me with dinner, spa treatment, then bed.
This is why it is so important for me to be living in White Rock. So I can be their during the day and come back for dinner.
We read, I sang to her. Got her in bed, the spa treatment. Then I held her hand, while she had this wonderful smile on her face.
Mom and I are really done with the constant TV, lights and delusions. Time to spread my wings again, and contact all the places I intend to call, to get something done about this.
Time to go
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Suspect
Hello again
This is my little bit of a conspiracy theory concerning the missing plane that no one can find
The plane was hijacked, it was landed on a remote stretch somewhere. The passengers are being held as hostages.
The cargo hold has been emptied out and filled with explosives.
They will come forth in a few weeks. The passengers are being treated fairly. But to their determent, the plane is going to be use as a bargaining chip of some sort.
This will take place within the next month or so. They will fly the plane into important event or place unless their demands are met.
That is my take on the conspiracy theory.
So today when I arrived at mom's, mom was extremely happy to see me. When I took mom to her room there on her bed was a photo album. Pictures of me through out my childhood;.
This is where it becomes suspect. I don't know if this is what happened. But after a decade, all of a sudden a photo album shows up.
I have been asking the PGT for years for mom and dads photo's. Not to keep them, but to make copies of all the pictures of mom and dad. Dads military days, their wedding etc...Then give the photo's back to the PGT.
Some of the photo's have water damage and this was done at one of my sister's homes. So where, all of a sudden, did these photo's come from.
I will find out tomorrow. I will be in Vancouver and will be stopping by the office of the PGT to ask this question. I am not saying they released the photo's, but I will be asking this question. If this is what happened I will be pissed off. As I will never see any of the photo's of my dad and mom.
Anyways, mom was happy today, that the girls came to visit. OK I don't know if both of them came. And I am happy that they did come to visit mom. It makes mom feel good.
I brought her a Cesar salad with Chicken and added avocado to it. She loved this. I brought her this certain dessert she likes.
She ate everything and was so full, she only ate half of the papaya.
I am going to have to start feeding her even more healthy than I do. Mom is gaining weight. They can't do up the buttons on her pants. Until then I will have to get mom a few pairs of pants with elastic waists. I am glad mom has a great appetite, but I can't let her gain to much weight. It is not good for her.
We got her into bed and I washed her completely. Not her private parts of course. A smile was on her face the entire time and reaching for my hand at the same time.
We finished the spa treatment early so I stood there and held her hand and sang to her. I left latter as I just wanted to stay and hold hand to make mom feel loved.
I really don't have much to say other than what was said. Well I do have allot to say, but I won't
Except this. I am having serious trust issues and have had them for a long while. I am not paranoid that people are out to get me. I just don't trust anyone. My doctor, Jesus, GOD any of the staff at mom's home. The PGT, and most people. I have this curse or blessing that I can read a person immediately and can tell if someone is lying to me, instantly. I have serious OCD problems.
Enough.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
This is my little bit of a conspiracy theory concerning the missing plane that no one can find
The plane was hijacked, it was landed on a remote stretch somewhere. The passengers are being held as hostages.
The cargo hold has been emptied out and filled with explosives.
They will come forth in a few weeks. The passengers are being treated fairly. But to their determent, the plane is going to be use as a bargaining chip of some sort.
This will take place within the next month or so. They will fly the plane into important event or place unless their demands are met.
That is my take on the conspiracy theory.
So today when I arrived at mom's, mom was extremely happy to see me. When I took mom to her room there on her bed was a photo album. Pictures of me through out my childhood;.
This is where it becomes suspect. I don't know if this is what happened. But after a decade, all of a sudden a photo album shows up.
I have been asking the PGT for years for mom and dads photo's. Not to keep them, but to make copies of all the pictures of mom and dad. Dads military days, their wedding etc...Then give the photo's back to the PGT.
Some of the photo's have water damage and this was done at one of my sister's homes. So where, all of a sudden, did these photo's come from.
I will find out tomorrow. I will be in Vancouver and will be stopping by the office of the PGT to ask this question. I am not saying they released the photo's, but I will be asking this question. If this is what happened I will be pissed off. As I will never see any of the photo's of my dad and mom.
Anyways, mom was happy today, that the girls came to visit. OK I don't know if both of them came. And I am happy that they did come to visit mom. It makes mom feel good.
I brought her a Cesar salad with Chicken and added avocado to it. She loved this. I brought her this certain dessert she likes.
She ate everything and was so full, she only ate half of the papaya.
I am going to have to start feeding her even more healthy than I do. Mom is gaining weight. They can't do up the buttons on her pants. Until then I will have to get mom a few pairs of pants with elastic waists. I am glad mom has a great appetite, but I can't let her gain to much weight. It is not good for her.
We got her into bed and I washed her completely. Not her private parts of course. A smile was on her face the entire time and reaching for my hand at the same time.
We finished the spa treatment early so I stood there and held her hand and sang to her. I left latter as I just wanted to stay and hold hand to make mom feel loved.
I really don't have much to say other than what was said. Well I do have allot to say, but I won't
Except this. I am having serious trust issues and have had them for a long while. I am not paranoid that people are out to get me. I just don't trust anyone. My doctor, Jesus, GOD any of the staff at mom's home. The PGT, and most people. I have this curse or blessing that I can read a person immediately and can tell if someone is lying to me, instantly. I have serious OCD problems.
Enough.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
A day or is it.
Hello again
Today was an OK day.
I would like to state that even though I have my disagreements with the PGT. They are OK. They do their job.
Well mom was well rested today, when I arrived. She was facing the elevator and was looking for me to get off of it.... She saw me, and the huge smile came over her face. I just love this.
She ate all her dinner. I brought her a nice burger and onion rings. Ate it all. And was completely relaxed and ready for her spa treatment. Motioning for me to do this. She runs her hand over my face when she wants her spa treatment.
I did thank mom for raising me properly, to be the person I am. Filled with compassion, understanding, caring. To be able to be their for her and not let it get me down. If it was not for mom raising me this way, I don't believe I would be able to do this. To travel to and from white rock and back.
Now as soon as mom was in bed, and before the spa treatment was done, mom was already falling asleep.
OK the day was long today and I really need to get some sleep. I am not sleeping that much. Maybe it has to do with the fact I don't want to be here anymore.
GOD Bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Today was an OK day.
I would like to state that even though I have my disagreements with the PGT. They are OK. They do their job.
Well mom was well rested today, when I arrived. She was facing the elevator and was looking for me to get off of it.... She saw me, and the huge smile came over her face. I just love this.
She ate all her dinner. I brought her a nice burger and onion rings. Ate it all. And was completely relaxed and ready for her spa treatment. Motioning for me to do this. She runs her hand over my face when she wants her spa treatment.
I did thank mom for raising me properly, to be the person I am. Filled with compassion, understanding, caring. To be able to be their for her and not let it get me down. If it was not for mom raising me this way, I don't believe I would be able to do this. To travel to and from white rock and back.
Now as soon as mom was in bed, and before the spa treatment was done, mom was already falling asleep.
OK the day was long today and I really need to get some sleep. I am not sleeping that much. Maybe it has to do with the fact I don't want to be here anymore.
GOD Bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Monday, March 17, 2014
I am
Hello again
Yesterday was bath day for mom, and when I arrived she was over tired. And we did everything necessary, ie: I feed her, washed her face, applied lotion to her face, arms, legs and feet. I read to her, for awhile, sang to her. Oh yea, brushed her teeth, changed her sheets, top sheet only and then the bottom sheet today, plus the pillow cases. Mom ate very well.
When it came time for me to leave mom was not able to fall asleep.
I forgot to mention that mom was talking up a storm. Because she was speaking so fast, I could not make out everything she was saying. I tried.
Anyways, As I was standing there, mom was just staring at me. Wanting me to stay longer, as she was not tired. I didn't have a choice but to leave. I stayed until 8:30, which mean't I got home at midnight. I really need to be living out their. So it does not make any difference when I leave, as it will only be a little while until I get home.
Well tonight, I didn't have much for dinner for her. I put aside some money for today. I had enough groceries to make it through the weekend, to make her dinners. I only had a little bit of cash for today. $10.00. ( I will figure out something for tomorrow) I had a plan, but when the train was pulling into the station, there my bus went. So I had to wait 1/2 hour for the next one. Which mean't I got to White Rock late and only had a few minutes to get mom her dinner. I had a plan and what I wanted to get her, was not there. And didn't have time to go anywhere else to get anything.
Yes it pissed me off a bit.. I grabbed her something. Well, mom didn't like it. She ate the dinner that was served to her instead.
Mom was extremely tired and was grumpy as well. I needed to stay clear of her right arm. It could of been another black eye. I had no treat for her dessert, and this was upsetting to her. I had the normal items. Papaya, her chocolate the smoothie.
When we were done, mom was falling asleep. Extremely tired. I got her to her room and got her changed, As soon as this was done, mom was off to sleep. The staff was late getting her into bed, so I washed her face while she was in the chair, and applied the lotion. Mom just slept while I did this. And when she did get into bed. Asleep she was. I finished the spa treatment and held her hand for quite awhile. Sang our goodnight song and left. I did stay latter though. But I ended up getting home at the normal time. Good connections I guess.
So here I am. I need to get my taxes for the last two years done this week.
I have been noticing that people are treating me differently, when I wear the waterproof jacket I found. Yes it is an expensive jacket, They think I have money. This does really bother me. Though I am poor and found a nice jacket, shouldn't mean I am treated differently. But that is the way of the world. OK, I don't dress like I am poor. A few years ago, I had money, and the clothing I do own are expensive. But I never paid full retail for any of them. I don't pay retail. I find the sales and I can buy good quality for an inexpensive price. But they are all way to large for me now. My fat clothing. And they look like it too. Or I look like I am wearing clothing that is three sizes to large.
Enough, Mom needs things and I have to find the funds for these items. One being her supplement that the home gives to her each morning. And a few other things.
I need to go, late and tired myself. I am going through the freezer to see what I can make myself for dinner. I am done with pasta. Eating it for the last 4 days. Done.
I ask again if you all would pray that I find a place in White Rock.
GOD bless and goodnight
Kris Schmuland
Yesterday was bath day for mom, and when I arrived she was over tired. And we did everything necessary, ie: I feed her, washed her face, applied lotion to her face, arms, legs and feet. I read to her, for awhile, sang to her. Oh yea, brushed her teeth, changed her sheets, top sheet only and then the bottom sheet today, plus the pillow cases. Mom ate very well.
When it came time for me to leave mom was not able to fall asleep.
I forgot to mention that mom was talking up a storm. Because she was speaking so fast, I could not make out everything she was saying. I tried.
Anyways, As I was standing there, mom was just staring at me. Wanting me to stay longer, as she was not tired. I didn't have a choice but to leave. I stayed until 8:30, which mean't I got home at midnight. I really need to be living out their. So it does not make any difference when I leave, as it will only be a little while until I get home.
Well tonight, I didn't have much for dinner for her. I put aside some money for today. I had enough groceries to make it through the weekend, to make her dinners. I only had a little bit of cash for today. $10.00. ( I will figure out something for tomorrow) I had a plan, but when the train was pulling into the station, there my bus went. So I had to wait 1/2 hour for the next one. Which mean't I got to White Rock late and only had a few minutes to get mom her dinner. I had a plan and what I wanted to get her, was not there. And didn't have time to go anywhere else to get anything.
Yes it pissed me off a bit.. I grabbed her something. Well, mom didn't like it. She ate the dinner that was served to her instead.
Mom was extremely tired and was grumpy as well. I needed to stay clear of her right arm. It could of been another black eye. I had no treat for her dessert, and this was upsetting to her. I had the normal items. Papaya, her chocolate the smoothie.
When we were done, mom was falling asleep. Extremely tired. I got her to her room and got her changed, As soon as this was done, mom was off to sleep. The staff was late getting her into bed, so I washed her face while she was in the chair, and applied the lotion. Mom just slept while I did this. And when she did get into bed. Asleep she was. I finished the spa treatment and held her hand for quite awhile. Sang our goodnight song and left. I did stay latter though. But I ended up getting home at the normal time. Good connections I guess.
So here I am. I need to get my taxes for the last two years done this week.
I have been noticing that people are treating me differently, when I wear the waterproof jacket I found. Yes it is an expensive jacket, They think I have money. This does really bother me. Though I am poor and found a nice jacket, shouldn't mean I am treated differently. But that is the way of the world. OK, I don't dress like I am poor. A few years ago, I had money, and the clothing I do own are expensive. But I never paid full retail for any of them. I don't pay retail. I find the sales and I can buy good quality for an inexpensive price. But they are all way to large for me now. My fat clothing. And they look like it too. Or I look like I am wearing clothing that is three sizes to large.
Enough, Mom needs things and I have to find the funds for these items. One being her supplement that the home gives to her each morning. And a few other things.
I need to go, late and tired myself. I am going through the freezer to see what I can make myself for dinner. I am done with pasta. Eating it for the last 4 days. Done.
I ask again if you all would pray that I find a place in White Rock.
GOD bless and goodnight
Kris Schmuland
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Bad day for me
Hello again
So today is one of those days where I just want to walk into the woods and that will be that. But I could never do that to my mother. I could give a crap about myself. I am upset that no matter how much I do or try, I never seem to get a head or even get something happening. And I am at this daily... I am on the phone, Online etc...... Everyday.
I apply for this or that, and nothing is happening. Yes it is my day to completely complain. I am soaking wet and cold.
Really, the only thing I want is to be living in White Rock/South Surrey. They boarder each other. One side of the street is White Rock, the other South Surrey. Sure there are places, but just out of my financial reach. And this really pisses me off greatly.
I don't ask for much, I make due with what I have. Yes, my clothing is from when I was 80 LBS heavier. And it looks like it, as well. Baggy as hell. I now need another belt. The one I just bought not long ago is to big for me. Can't even afford this. Bitch, bitch, bitch. OK! I have more to complain about, but I am done.
Off to more important matters.
Yes it does bother me and weighs heavy upon me watching mom's health deteriorate and watching mom loose the ability to use her arm and hand, to walk, to speak etc..... It is hard to watch. But I will never let mom know this. She needs someone their for her, that is simply going to love her no matter what is going on with her.
Mom is fine, besides all of this. Healthy. She has a great appetite. I made mom a great fish dinner, with a grain salad, and she ate all of it.Plus some of the dinner that was served to her. And the papaya, avocado and chocolate. The only problem, OK, not so much of a problem. I have just been spoiling mom with dessert. These small mouse cakes. Different berry flavors. And I can't afford any right now. But mom is looking all over the table to see if there is any. I tell mom that I can't afford any right now and I would not hide it from her. Well if I get a few at once, I make sure they are for a few days. Mom has a sweet tooth and would eat all of them.
I get freaked out when mom has too much sugar. My father ate so much Halloween candy, that night he had a serious stroke. Which was his ending. It took less than a year after this, when he passed away.
I feel guilty about this, as it was me who put the candy there to begin with. And when I returned that night it was all gone. That was the night he had his stroke. Yes it was not me who ate it. But I feel responsible, none the less. And I carry this guilt with me, daily. I feel that if I didn't leave all the candy/chocolate out, he wouldn't of had the stroke and would still be alive. This is another burden I carry.
I am needing to go now. Get mom's laundry out of the dryer and get to bed. Well go and watch a few shows. Or something.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
So today is one of those days where I just want to walk into the woods and that will be that. But I could never do that to my mother. I could give a crap about myself. I am upset that no matter how much I do or try, I never seem to get a head or even get something happening. And I am at this daily... I am on the phone, Online etc...... Everyday.
I apply for this or that, and nothing is happening. Yes it is my day to completely complain. I am soaking wet and cold.
Really, the only thing I want is to be living in White Rock/South Surrey. They boarder each other. One side of the street is White Rock, the other South Surrey. Sure there are places, but just out of my financial reach. And this really pisses me off greatly.
I don't ask for much, I make due with what I have. Yes, my clothing is from when I was 80 LBS heavier. And it looks like it, as well. Baggy as hell. I now need another belt. The one I just bought not long ago is to big for me. Can't even afford this. Bitch, bitch, bitch. OK! I have more to complain about, but I am done.
Off to more important matters.
Yes it does bother me and weighs heavy upon me watching mom's health deteriorate and watching mom loose the ability to use her arm and hand, to walk, to speak etc..... It is hard to watch. But I will never let mom know this. She needs someone their for her, that is simply going to love her no matter what is going on with her.
Mom is fine, besides all of this. Healthy. She has a great appetite. I made mom a great fish dinner, with a grain salad, and she ate all of it.Plus some of the dinner that was served to her. And the papaya, avocado and chocolate. The only problem, OK, not so much of a problem. I have just been spoiling mom with dessert. These small mouse cakes. Different berry flavors. And I can't afford any right now. But mom is looking all over the table to see if there is any. I tell mom that I can't afford any right now and I would not hide it from her. Well if I get a few at once, I make sure they are for a few days. Mom has a sweet tooth and would eat all of them.
I get freaked out when mom has too much sugar. My father ate so much Halloween candy, that night he had a serious stroke. Which was his ending. It took less than a year after this, when he passed away.
I feel guilty about this, as it was me who put the candy there to begin with. And when I returned that night it was all gone. That was the night he had his stroke. Yes it was not me who ate it. But I feel responsible, none the less. And I carry this guilt with me, daily. I feel that if I didn't leave all the candy/chocolate out, he wouldn't of had the stroke and would still be alive. This is another burden I carry.
I am needing to go now. Get mom's laundry out of the dryer and get to bed. Well go and watch a few shows. Or something.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
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