Hello again
I would like to start by saying that mom had her appetite back today. She ate most of her dinner, an avocado and cheese. Plus ice cream and chocolate and Carmel sauce. And three of her Lindt chocolates.
The most mom has eaten in over a week. For dinner at least. But according to the social worker, mom eats all of her breakfast and lunch. But I don't believe anything this women tells me anymore. As she has lied to me more than a few times. Excuse me, she told me many non truths. An example " We have 50 people living here and one staff member" Not my problem, nor is it mom's problem. Hire more people, they are charging mom enough.
Now after dinner tonight, I brought mom back to her room. She was tired and wanted to go to bed. But since the social worker called and yelled at me, I told mom that at this moment I can't put her to bed. But last night, the care aide put her to bed immediately after dinner.
But not tonight. Mom wanted me to get her changed and put her to bed. This is what she kept motioning me to do. But I said it won't be long. Considering last night. I thought the staff member would be right in. Not so.
Look, I have never seen this staff member before. And it is not her fault that the social worker never wrote any of this down for everyone else. She didn't even know that I was not to put her to bed.
But mom and I had to wait until 7:30 pm for mom to be put into bed and changed. By this time mom was angry. I knew this, as I know what mom is thinking and she was complaining the entire time we were waiting for someone to come in a get mom ready for bed. Anyways, when I left the room, for them to change mom, I heard the care aide, come out and ask for help. I knew exactly why. Mom was pissed off that she had to wait for over and hour.
You see, I take her to bed, right after dinner. I change her into her night gown, I put her into the bed, and then I give mom her nightly spa treatment. And by the time the staff comes along, it is usually about 6:45 pm. Mom is completely relaxed and ready to be changed. Then I finish off, with her spa treatment and sing to her our good night song. At this time, the nurse came in to give mom her nightly medication, and mentioned to me that mom was in a bad mood. That she fought back when we tired to change her.
Well I told the social worker this numerous times. Mom has a routine and when it is broken, she gets upset. Mom likes to be in bed by 7 pm. What are they not getting.
Mom is not happy with this arrangement. It has to change. This is ABUSE. Mom wants certain things and that is what she is going to get.
Lie to me once, shame on you. Twice, it's on.
So people have been asking me lately, if I like money. As I don't have any and because of my traveling I have not been able to do anything towards making money. Besides writing this blog. And I don't make any money doing this.
I tell them if I am given a choice between mom and money. I would choose my mother any day. She is my family, and as far as I am concerned, the only family I have left. So my mother is more important than money.
I really hope people can understand this. But so far, no one can. As everyone tells me that if I want any help, to get a job. What about Christian beliefs. The moral thing to do. Doesn't Jesus say to love one another and to give unto them. And I was told that if you need help ask for it, and it will be given unto them.
Now it is now only 4 days until I am to move. I have paid rent from the 15th of the month, and nothing of mine is moved. If I had a vehicle I would have everything moved in a day.
Right I have only a couple of dozen boxes and half a dozen bags to move. I have a kettle, some knives. That is it for an entire apartment that I need to furnish.
I have to say this, though, I like Coquitlam. Everything is right here. Everything. I am moving as it is the right thing to do. To be closer to mom, to be able to have her over. That was and is the idea behind my move.
The case manager has made many promises, since mom was forcibly moved to White Rock. And one of them was to help me get out their and set up. As I wrote before, I was promised a large cheque, for $7000.00 or more. I was promised that I would get help with my dentures. None of these were fulfilled. He has denied them. Then he tells me to contact his manager. I have and nothing.
I have explained that this move is about mom. Getting her out, for lunches, dinners and just for a visit. I could not do this, living with another person. Yet I could not afford to rent an apartment. So I looked around for a basement suite, and found this. It is cheaper than what I pay now. $550.00 per month and everything included. Cable, heat, lights, Internet. Not furniture, bedding, dishes, cutlery, shared laundry etc........ I presently pay $565.00 per month and laundry privileges was taken away from everyone in this house.
So I ask again, anyone willing to assist me out. Would be greatly appreciated.
The other day I walked into a pole and I have had a very large headache since then. Or maybe I am so stressed out, as I have nothing to bring to my new home. Excuse me, mom's and my new home. It is as much mom's as it is mine. It is hard for me right now. I have a bed here. But travel 6 - 8 hours a day to visit with mom. I move and I have no furniture, nothing for mom to sit on, or for me to sleep on.
I am told, by many, to shop around. I say, I would do this if I had money. I require a lifting recliner for mom, and this alone is expensive. I really didn't think they were that expensive. $899.00. I have called all around and have looked all over the Internet for the best deal in the lower mainland. The price is the same all over North America. Except for a few places in the deep south.
But I need to finish for today. I didn't even want to write anything today. I am extremely tired.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Saturday, June 23, 2012
mom was embarased
Hello again
Tonight mom ate more and was hungry, But still wanted to go to bed for her spa treatment. And because of the social worker calling me today and basically yelling at me on the phone and demanding that I not put her to bed. (more on this after) I could not put her to bed.
Well the care aide came in early and put got her changed and into bed. But mom had an accident, which I knew, she was embarrassed about this. It took a while to get her cleaned up and she got some on her wheel chair. This is to be expected when you don't toilet someone and expect them to sit in their feces for hours. Which was the case with mom tonight.
Great care, don't you think.
Now when I got back into mom's room, I was able to start her spa treatment. Mom was upset and kept asking why. Why I do what I do everyday. And continue to do it.
I just told her that my life was hers and that this is the best thing I have every have done in my life. Nothing else compares to this. And I would rather do this than anything else on this planet.
That I was always in the hospital for something. That I died at the age of 5 and was brought back to life. But you, mom, took care of me all the time. And that I am doing what is right, the right thing to do in life. You looked after me and I am here to look after you.
Through-out this whole time, mom was crying. I kept giving her a kiss on her cheek. And telling her everything was all right. And that I am moving closer to spend more time with her, to have her over and get her out of her chair.
That the is the first step in having a place for her to come to, to stay over night. I cried as well, while mom was crying and asking me why.
I just hugged her and told her that I love her and that I will always be their for her. No matter what and would always fight for her rights. Make sure she is healthy..
I finished her spa treatment and then before I sang her our song, I cleaned the chair. No big deal. I clean her chair all the time. But I guess she saw me do this, tonight and new. But when I went back into her room, she started to cry again and this made me cry as well. I just told her again that this is what I want to do and I will never stop. That I love her and I am to honor my mother. This is the way I am doing it and would never have it any other way. I hugged her again and kissed her good night after I sang to her. She smiled, with happiness and was very glad.
It is not mom who is glad, I am the happy one. I get to be their for her, like I have never been their for anyone else. And this is the way it should be. One giving of their life for another. This is what I was taught.
Now for the social worker. She called me this morning, waking me up. After I got to bed and finally fell asleep at 4:00 am. She then proceeded to tell me that it is not good for me to be putting mom to bed, that she is not weight barring. And it is not good for me. Telling me in a condescending manner. Not even listening to me when I am letting her know that I have been doing this for over 10 years and am very experienced at using the lift. She tells me that I can't use it, that I have to come in and get trained on it. Even though the lifts are the same at all the facilities. I said OK, but she didn't even listen to anything that I was saying. She kept telling me what I should and should not do. And to leave it to the professionals.
This is where I got upset and said to her " what do you think, that I am an idiot, that I don't know what I am doing. I have been doing this for many, many years." She dismissed me and told me she had to go.
Now I am done with her attitude and will be filling a claim with the Human rights tribunal.
At Oceanside, mom was taken to the toilet and was able to move herself around the ward. Not here. Her legs are always up. Even though I have insisted that they remove the leg braces and let her move about on her own. She never listens. And to stop giving her Tylenol. Still has not stopped doing this and then refusing to listen to anything anyone else has to say.
I see that it is their way, not as they said when mom first moved into the Al Hogg Pavilion. Where they work with the families.
Now next week, I move. Today I spoke with the ministry and asked for help. They told me that I needed to shop around. Yes, I would, if I had any funds I would not even be asking for help. That for less than a couple of thousand, I could furnish my entire place. But I don't even have a thousand to do this . Not even a bed, dresser, couch or anything for my mother to sit on. Nothing at all.
I guess I sleep on the floor and can't bring mom over. Mom is expecting for me to bring her over when I move, she knows I am moving and is excited for this. She did ask me about it tonight. Where it was that I was moving too. I said just down the street. Not far.
I have never told her that I won't be able to bring her over, that I don't even have anything for her to sit on, or even a plate to feed her lunch.
I will never let her know this. I don't know what to tell her once I move. When she asked me to come over. What do I tell her.
I have mentioned this to the PGT as well. How do I bring mom over, with nothing. The idea, which we agreed on from the start when mom moved to White Rock. Was for me to get out their. And be able to have mom over, as I did when she lived in Coquitlam. Looks like it is not going to happen.
I don't know what I am going to do, I can't sleep on the floor, sit on the floor, eat off of nothing.
All I have is, well, a kettle and a set of knives.
I need to go now.
GOD bless and good night.
Hope someone is reading this and is willing to help out.
Kris Schmuland
Tonight mom ate more and was hungry, But still wanted to go to bed for her spa treatment. And because of the social worker calling me today and basically yelling at me on the phone and demanding that I not put her to bed. (more on this after) I could not put her to bed.
Well the care aide came in early and put got her changed and into bed. But mom had an accident, which I knew, she was embarrassed about this. It took a while to get her cleaned up and she got some on her wheel chair. This is to be expected when you don't toilet someone and expect them to sit in their feces for hours. Which was the case with mom tonight.
Great care, don't you think.
Now when I got back into mom's room, I was able to start her spa treatment. Mom was upset and kept asking why. Why I do what I do everyday. And continue to do it.
I just told her that my life was hers and that this is the best thing I have every have done in my life. Nothing else compares to this. And I would rather do this than anything else on this planet.
That I was always in the hospital for something. That I died at the age of 5 and was brought back to life. But you, mom, took care of me all the time. And that I am doing what is right, the right thing to do in life. You looked after me and I am here to look after you.
Through-out this whole time, mom was crying. I kept giving her a kiss on her cheek. And telling her everything was all right. And that I am moving closer to spend more time with her, to have her over and get her out of her chair.
That the is the first step in having a place for her to come to, to stay over night. I cried as well, while mom was crying and asking me why.
I just hugged her and told her that I love her and that I will always be their for her. No matter what and would always fight for her rights. Make sure she is healthy..
I finished her spa treatment and then before I sang her our song, I cleaned the chair. No big deal. I clean her chair all the time. But I guess she saw me do this, tonight and new. But when I went back into her room, she started to cry again and this made me cry as well. I just told her again that this is what I want to do and I will never stop. That I love her and I am to honor my mother. This is the way I am doing it and would never have it any other way. I hugged her again and kissed her good night after I sang to her. She smiled, with happiness and was very glad.
It is not mom who is glad, I am the happy one. I get to be their for her, like I have never been their for anyone else. And this is the way it should be. One giving of their life for another. This is what I was taught.
Now for the social worker. She called me this morning, waking me up. After I got to bed and finally fell asleep at 4:00 am. She then proceeded to tell me that it is not good for me to be putting mom to bed, that she is not weight barring. And it is not good for me. Telling me in a condescending manner. Not even listening to me when I am letting her know that I have been doing this for over 10 years and am very experienced at using the lift. She tells me that I can't use it, that I have to come in and get trained on it. Even though the lifts are the same at all the facilities. I said OK, but she didn't even listen to anything that I was saying. She kept telling me what I should and should not do. And to leave it to the professionals.
This is where I got upset and said to her " what do you think, that I am an idiot, that I don't know what I am doing. I have been doing this for many, many years." She dismissed me and told me she had to go.
Now I am done with her attitude and will be filling a claim with the Human rights tribunal.
At Oceanside, mom was taken to the toilet and was able to move herself around the ward. Not here. Her legs are always up. Even though I have insisted that they remove the leg braces and let her move about on her own. She never listens. And to stop giving her Tylenol. Still has not stopped doing this and then refusing to listen to anything anyone else has to say.
I see that it is their way, not as they said when mom first moved into the Al Hogg Pavilion. Where they work with the families.
Now next week, I move. Today I spoke with the ministry and asked for help. They told me that I needed to shop around. Yes, I would, if I had any funds I would not even be asking for help. That for less than a couple of thousand, I could furnish my entire place. But I don't even have a thousand to do this . Not even a bed, dresser, couch or anything for my mother to sit on. Nothing at all.
I guess I sleep on the floor and can't bring mom over. Mom is expecting for me to bring her over when I move, she knows I am moving and is excited for this. She did ask me about it tonight. Where it was that I was moving too. I said just down the street. Not far.
I have never told her that I won't be able to bring her over, that I don't even have anything for her to sit on, or even a plate to feed her lunch.
I will never let her know this. I don't know what to tell her once I move. When she asked me to come over. What do I tell her.
I have mentioned this to the PGT as well. How do I bring mom over, with nothing. The idea, which we agreed on from the start when mom moved to White Rock. Was for me to get out their. And be able to have mom over, as I did when she lived in Coquitlam. Looks like it is not going to happen.
I don't know what I am going to do, I can't sleep on the floor, sit on the floor, eat off of nothing.
All I have is, well, a kettle and a set of knives.
I need to go now.
GOD bless and good night.
Hope someone is reading this and is willing to help out.
Kris Schmuland
Friday, June 22, 2012
Very stressed
Hello again
Today was not a very good day. I was angry, and I brought it in with me to visit mom. I was getting upset that she was not eating and taking so long to chew her food. I never said anything, or did anything. I was just frustrated.
I have never ever been like this before with her. And as I am typing this I am pissed off. I am making mistakes and they are really pissing me off.
I am hungry, tired, stressed and just pissed off at the whole world right now.
I am moving next week, middle of the week and I have nothing for my new place, I am not going to be able to bring mom over for any kind of visit. Not for lunch or dinner. No place for her to sit down on.
I am not thinking correctly today. I walked into a sign post today, right before I went into mom building. I have a major headache and it is not going away. Had it all day.
Mom has not been eating much at all for the last week. And the weekend is upon us. This is when she normally does not eat much. I don't know if it is her tooth that is bothering her. She has been drooling lately. Out of her left side of the mouth.
I am getting worried about her not eating. I am trying to get this move going. I am out of places to call for help. I have asked everyone and no one is willing to help me out.
Again, I was raised to ask for help if you need it. But I ask and ask and nothing. Once in the last 4 years of writing this blog.
And I am moving to make it better for mom. To be closer to her. It is not about visiting mom, it is about visiting her more and doing more things for her and with her.
I am moving so I can bring her over. When she was in Coquitlam, I brought her over several times. But all I have been able to do out in White Rock is take her out around the hospital. That is it.
I have an empty place and nothing to fill it with. I don't even have a TV.
Everything is included with the rent. And what is the point.
OK I need to stop writing now. I am completely pissed off that I can't get help and the PGT is not even understanding this. The fact mom needs a place to sit and a couch is not going to cut it. She needs a lifting recliner.
I can't even buy a bed. let alone a lifting recliner. Nor dishes, glasses, cups, cutlery. Blah Blah Blah
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland.
Someone write the PGT on my behalf.
I will no longer be needing a three zone pass.
But whatever.
Today was not a very good day. I was angry, and I brought it in with me to visit mom. I was getting upset that she was not eating and taking so long to chew her food. I never said anything, or did anything. I was just frustrated.
I have never ever been like this before with her. And as I am typing this I am pissed off. I am making mistakes and they are really pissing me off.
I am hungry, tired, stressed and just pissed off at the whole world right now.
I am moving next week, middle of the week and I have nothing for my new place, I am not going to be able to bring mom over for any kind of visit. Not for lunch or dinner. No place for her to sit down on.
I am not thinking correctly today. I walked into a sign post today, right before I went into mom building. I have a major headache and it is not going away. Had it all day.
Mom has not been eating much at all for the last week. And the weekend is upon us. This is when she normally does not eat much. I don't know if it is her tooth that is bothering her. She has been drooling lately. Out of her left side of the mouth.
I am getting worried about her not eating. I am trying to get this move going. I am out of places to call for help. I have asked everyone and no one is willing to help me out.
Again, I was raised to ask for help if you need it. But I ask and ask and nothing. Once in the last 4 years of writing this blog.
And I am moving to make it better for mom. To be closer to her. It is not about visiting mom, it is about visiting her more and doing more things for her and with her.
I am moving so I can bring her over. When she was in Coquitlam, I brought her over several times. But all I have been able to do out in White Rock is take her out around the hospital. That is it.
I have an empty place and nothing to fill it with. I don't even have a TV.
Everything is included with the rent. And what is the point.
OK I need to stop writing now. I am completely pissed off that I can't get help and the PGT is not even understanding this. The fact mom needs a place to sit and a couch is not going to cut it. She needs a lifting recliner.
I can't even buy a bed. let alone a lifting recliner. Nor dishes, glasses, cups, cutlery. Blah Blah Blah
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland.
Someone write the PGT on my behalf.
I will no longer be needing a three zone pass.
But whatever.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
It's getting closer
Hello again.
So mom is still not eating much. She had turkey, mashed potatoes and green beans and carrots for dinner. She only ate the turkey and very little of the mashed potatoes.
Thank GOD I had some fruit for her. And thank GOD my roommates drink. I was able to take in the empties in and purchase some fruit for mom. This she ate, after almost begging her. Telling her that I am worried that she is not eating much and needs to keep her strength up. She was just tired though. And wanted to go to bed and have the spa treatment.
She put her hand on my face and this is her sign that she wants to have her spa treatment done. This she did, almost as soon as I arrived and gave her something to drink.
But I got mom changed and into her bed. I washed her face, arms and lower legs. Then the lip balm, face and neck cream and her eye cream. Those are three separate creams. Then a separate cream for her legs. A great cleanser, and the same cream for her arms and separate cream for her hands and nails. Thanks to Bio Therme. Fantastic products. Keeping mom's skin wrinkle free. I got rid of her puppet lines, no lines around her eye's. Smoothing out her neck. And mom is now 83 years old. Looking 60.
This I do every night. Every night. Without fail.
I carry about 50 lbs worth of things to mom's and back daily. I have multiple injuries from car accidents, a dozen or so over the last 10 years. You think I would be flush, but no, ICBC has a way of helping out and then pulling the rug out from under your feet. So you are left struggling and broke as well as injured. You either settle or go on welfare. Only to pay back all you receive from welfare. Then you settle, because your broke and injured. You settle early and don't receive anything that you would of obtained, if you were to wait until a court date.
So all of these accidents that were other people's fault, I am still injured and broke. I spent allot of the last bit of funds on mom, well most of it. And some on university. Now I have nothing, at all. And I am getting worse, I have many injuries, many. But this will not stop me from being their for mom. And fighting for her rights. As I have done all along.
And now, I made the decision to move to White Rock and have a place that I can bring mom over too. I have lived in furnished places for the last 4 years, due to everything I owned being stolen from me. From a roommate. And I have nothing. I have just about finished packing and I mean I have nothing. I set of sheets, a pillow, boxes of mom's belongings
No TV or stereo. A computer that I put together from older computers. Windows XP, can't run Windows 7 and a printer that was given to me, because the ink dried up. Easily fixed. Just soak the ink cartridges in warm water. Make sure you put them into a bag first. Let them soak for a couple of hours and good as new again. The ink is still working fine, in this printer. But the copier does not work, nor the scanner. But it prints.
Not good enough for me to restore all of mom's photo's. This I will need a decent Epson printer. The best for photo's around. Prints the best for this type of restoration. I still need to discuss getting the photo's from the PGT. They are still refusing to give them to me. So they sit in their storage, rotting, and costing mom money. Mom only has a few things in storage. As my sister's took everything else mom and dad owned, when they conned them into selling their house and moving to a farm in Langley. Way out thier in the middle of no where. This I know mom and dad did not want.
But I digress, I will be on the PGT once I finish my move. But again, I now have a place that is a basement suite and can bring mom over for visits and have some family dinners. But again, I have nothing to put into it.
I asked the PGT for funds to get mom a lifting chair, but they don't think mom needs this. I am planning on having mom over as much as possible. Not once in a while. The place is not far at all from mom's home. A $10.00 cab ride. If that. I am moving to White Rock for mom's sake. Not mine. It is a little out of the way from everything. I have to travel, by bus to get to the Bay, where I buy mom's clothing. Half an hour a way. Where it is on my way to the bus loop now.
Mom was to stay in Coquitlam, but, again the doctor at Valley View, changed mom's medication two weeks before her assessment. And mom was not accepted because of her reaction to the new medication.
I am begging anyone for help. I have run out of numbers to call for help. I now have an empty suite and nothing to put into it. This alone is going to be very depressing. As it stands, my mind is not really there when I am visiting mom. I notice it, as I am not completely paying attention to what she is saying, and mom is saying allot the last few days. I can't concentrate fully. I am worried about things.
I wanted mom over right away. And I don't even want to be in their now. I will be. OK there is wireless included in the rent. So I can continue to write this. And I guess continue to watch things off the Internet. So it is not that bad. Oh yea, except I will be sitting on the floor, sleeping on the floor. And with empty cupboards. As in no dishes, or cutlery. OK I have an OK set of knives.
But time is now, when I must leave. I am tired and I really need to go to my doctors tomorrow. I need medical forms filled out.
So bye bye
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Oh yea I phoned the supervisor of the case manager today.
So mom is still not eating much. She had turkey, mashed potatoes and green beans and carrots for dinner. She only ate the turkey and very little of the mashed potatoes.
Thank GOD I had some fruit for her. And thank GOD my roommates drink. I was able to take in the empties in and purchase some fruit for mom. This she ate, after almost begging her. Telling her that I am worried that she is not eating much and needs to keep her strength up. She was just tired though. And wanted to go to bed and have the spa treatment.
She put her hand on my face and this is her sign that she wants to have her spa treatment done. This she did, almost as soon as I arrived and gave her something to drink.
But I got mom changed and into her bed. I washed her face, arms and lower legs. Then the lip balm, face and neck cream and her eye cream. Those are three separate creams. Then a separate cream for her legs. A great cleanser, and the same cream for her arms and separate cream for her hands and nails. Thanks to Bio Therme. Fantastic products. Keeping mom's skin wrinkle free. I got rid of her puppet lines, no lines around her eye's. Smoothing out her neck. And mom is now 83 years old. Looking 60.
This I do every night. Every night. Without fail.
I carry about 50 lbs worth of things to mom's and back daily. I have multiple injuries from car accidents, a dozen or so over the last 10 years. You think I would be flush, but no, ICBC has a way of helping out and then pulling the rug out from under your feet. So you are left struggling and broke as well as injured. You either settle or go on welfare. Only to pay back all you receive from welfare. Then you settle, because your broke and injured. You settle early and don't receive anything that you would of obtained, if you were to wait until a court date.
So all of these accidents that were other people's fault, I am still injured and broke. I spent allot of the last bit of funds on mom, well most of it. And some on university. Now I have nothing, at all. And I am getting worse, I have many injuries, many. But this will not stop me from being their for mom. And fighting for her rights. As I have done all along.
And now, I made the decision to move to White Rock and have a place that I can bring mom over too. I have lived in furnished places for the last 4 years, due to everything I owned being stolen from me. From a roommate. And I have nothing. I have just about finished packing and I mean I have nothing. I set of sheets, a pillow, boxes of mom's belongings
No TV or stereo. A computer that I put together from older computers. Windows XP, can't run Windows 7 and a printer that was given to me, because the ink dried up. Easily fixed. Just soak the ink cartridges in warm water. Make sure you put them into a bag first. Let them soak for a couple of hours and good as new again. The ink is still working fine, in this printer. But the copier does not work, nor the scanner. But it prints.
Not good enough for me to restore all of mom's photo's. This I will need a decent Epson printer. The best for photo's around. Prints the best for this type of restoration. I still need to discuss getting the photo's from the PGT. They are still refusing to give them to me. So they sit in their storage, rotting, and costing mom money. Mom only has a few things in storage. As my sister's took everything else mom and dad owned, when they conned them into selling their house and moving to a farm in Langley. Way out thier in the middle of no where. This I know mom and dad did not want.
But I digress, I will be on the PGT once I finish my move. But again, I now have a place that is a basement suite and can bring mom over for visits and have some family dinners. But again, I have nothing to put into it.
I asked the PGT for funds to get mom a lifting chair, but they don't think mom needs this. I am planning on having mom over as much as possible. Not once in a while. The place is not far at all from mom's home. A $10.00 cab ride. If that. I am moving to White Rock for mom's sake. Not mine. It is a little out of the way from everything. I have to travel, by bus to get to the Bay, where I buy mom's clothing. Half an hour a way. Where it is on my way to the bus loop now.
Mom was to stay in Coquitlam, but, again the doctor at Valley View, changed mom's medication two weeks before her assessment. And mom was not accepted because of her reaction to the new medication.
I am begging anyone for help. I have run out of numbers to call for help. I now have an empty suite and nothing to put into it. This alone is going to be very depressing. As it stands, my mind is not really there when I am visiting mom. I notice it, as I am not completely paying attention to what she is saying, and mom is saying allot the last few days. I can't concentrate fully. I am worried about things.
I wanted mom over right away. And I don't even want to be in their now. I will be. OK there is wireless included in the rent. So I can continue to write this. And I guess continue to watch things off the Internet. So it is not that bad. Oh yea, except I will be sitting on the floor, sleeping on the floor. And with empty cupboards. As in no dishes, or cutlery. OK I have an OK set of knives.
But time is now, when I must leave. I am tired and I really need to go to my doctors tomorrow. I need medical forms filled out.
So bye bye
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Oh yea I phoned the supervisor of the case manager today.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
It is getting terrible
Hello again
I am extremely stressed out now, Monday Tuesday is the day and I have noting still. No bed, lamp. yes lamp. The room does not even have a ceiling light. Need a lamp. So I sleep on the floor, eat on the floor.
I can't even bring my mother over for a visit, nothing for her to sit on. Hence the lifting chair I wanted to get her.
Nothing to even give her a drink in. I don't even have a cheap TV, nor a stereo.
Tonight mom hardly ate anything again. I am starting to get extremely worried about her. She is not doing well. She just wants to go to bed, when I get their.
Mom is extremely uncomfortable in her chair and all she wants to do is get out of it. It is not comfortable at all. I mentioned this already.
I will be, once I get their, get her out of her chair and feed her dinner in her bed. This way she is a little bit more comfortable.
I just got her to eat as much as I could. I tried fruit, she only ate a bit of that. Well I don't have anything she really likes. I don't have anything, or any funds to buy things for her.
I took the nail polish off her tonight, and cleaned her ears. Did the spa treatment. She loves this.
But she always holds my hand while I am their. I love this and have learned to do things with one hand.
I have been trying to get help and nothing so far. Well I don't think I will, either. Since I have been calling all over the place and nothing.
I have written the PGT and they are not living up to their promises. It is ridiculous. Mom needs a lifting recliner to sit on.
I think I have been repeating myself over and over again
I am moving and have told mom that I am moving and and this way she can come over. I am just banging my head against the wall.
I am freaking out. I want to get mom out of that place as much as possible and being close like I will be, is ideal. But again without anything, I mean nothing, how can I.
Mom will get extremely upset. She knows that I don't have clothing, she points this out to me all the time. She will know that I live close by and get pissed off at me for not bringing her over.
I ask you all, any ideas!
I have none. I don't know where I am going to get furniture. A bed, lamps ect..........
I need to go now, I am so tired and stressed out and have to finish packing. OK there is nothing really to pack. Just books and a little bit of clothing. And allot of papers.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland.
I am extremely stressed out now, Monday Tuesday is the day and I have noting still. No bed, lamp. yes lamp. The room does not even have a ceiling light. Need a lamp. So I sleep on the floor, eat on the floor.
I can't even bring my mother over for a visit, nothing for her to sit on. Hence the lifting chair I wanted to get her.
Nothing to even give her a drink in. I don't even have a cheap TV, nor a stereo.
Tonight mom hardly ate anything again. I am starting to get extremely worried about her. She is not doing well. She just wants to go to bed, when I get their.
Mom is extremely uncomfortable in her chair and all she wants to do is get out of it. It is not comfortable at all. I mentioned this already.
I will be, once I get their, get her out of her chair and feed her dinner in her bed. This way she is a little bit more comfortable.
I just got her to eat as much as I could. I tried fruit, she only ate a bit of that. Well I don't have anything she really likes. I don't have anything, or any funds to buy things for her.
I took the nail polish off her tonight, and cleaned her ears. Did the spa treatment. She loves this.
But she always holds my hand while I am their. I love this and have learned to do things with one hand.
I have been trying to get help and nothing so far. Well I don't think I will, either. Since I have been calling all over the place and nothing.
I have written the PGT and they are not living up to their promises. It is ridiculous. Mom needs a lifting recliner to sit on.
I think I have been repeating myself over and over again
I am moving and have told mom that I am moving and and this way she can come over. I am just banging my head against the wall.
I am freaking out. I want to get mom out of that place as much as possible and being close like I will be, is ideal. But again without anything, I mean nothing, how can I.
Mom will get extremely upset. She knows that I don't have clothing, she points this out to me all the time. She will know that I live close by and get pissed off at me for not bringing her over.
I ask you all, any ideas!
I have none. I don't know where I am going to get furniture. A bed, lamps ect..........
I need to go now, I am so tired and stressed out and have to finish packing. OK there is nothing really to pack. Just books and a little bit of clothing. And allot of papers.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
I am freaking out
Hello again
So it is official, I know have keys to my new place, that is empty and looks like it will stay that way, I will be sleeping on the floor, eating on the floor, Oh wait, no plates or cups, glasses. Sitting on the floor.
Working on the floor, And it has new carpeting, it even smells bad. I am not a fan of carpeting, but the price is right.
Anyways I am very depressed and tired. I am trying not to bring it in when I am visiting with mom. Thank GOD that I have some will power.
Mom tonight was very tired again, and barely ate again. I am getting worried about her. She is eating, but not much. All she wants to do when I get their is go to bed. It is 4 pm when I get their. Mom did eat some taco pie I made for her. And a bit of the chicken kabob I brought her. She only ate a very little of the sinko pear I had for her with the Asiago cheese, she loves this. But mom usually eat a whole Asian pear. I have pudding and nothing. She didn't want even this.
I hope she doesn't know I am stressed out and freaking out about this move. I only told her I am moving to be closer to her. To get her out and over for a visit and maybe a night or two. I need to get her a lift reclining chair. So I can get her out of her wheel chair and into a much more comfortable chair, to relax.
I am very, very worried about mom and not eating properly Mom loves the spa treatment. Maybe I should start feeding her in her bed, so she may be more comfortable. I couldn't sit in that chair all day long. It is not comfortable. I have tired it out. Not comfortable at all.
Mom is drinking enough. I make sure of this. I am going to try just fruit tomorrow. I had Ensure, she did drink this and a couple of them a day. Or more. We went through quit a few of them.
I will try. But mom does smile and is very happy to see me. And I look forward to being closer to her. I then will try to get my full disability and a part time job in my field of study. Until I get my hip and knee fixed. Then maybe, I don't know, I need to spend more time with mom than I am doing now.
Summer might be here soon, and I can take her out and down to visit her aunt, my great aunt.
So the PGT had made many promises, to help me with my dentures. Yes I have dentures. I have stated that I have no spleen and one of the side effects of this, is weak bones and that my teeth just broke apart, very easily. So since my early twenties I have had at least a partial denture and then in my thirties almost a whole set.
Now because of my extreme weight loss, they no longer fit properly and this also makes it hard to eat. Even though I have no funds to eat. But the PGT had said that they would help me out with this. I can only get $1000.00 paid towards them. And it is allot more, to be precise, an extra $3500.00. So I have wrote him and said that I would rather have these funds to furnish this new place and get mom a lift chair. Which she needs when she comes over.
But he has deigned this ever happened. Though I have the emails to prove this to the contrary. And he just doesn't get this. I have given up everything for my mother and am very happy about this as well. And I will continue to give up even eating, clothing that fits etc..... But I need to furnish this place. As mom needs to have a place she can go too. And a place where we can have people over to visit. As in her aunt and my cousin, her brother and my sister's and their families.
I write him all the time lately, and will continue to do this. As, making promises to someone who remembers most things is not a good idea.
Mom needs this place as much as I do, and everything that it will bring to her life. The pleasure it will bring, the peace of mind. The getting out for visits and possibly over night stays. OK yes to over night stays.
Mom lets me get her into her night gown, already. So this is not a problem. Mom, I know will let me take her to the washroom. I wash her mostly already.
So I cannot even explain what I am feeling right now. Extremely depressed, tired, anxious, very nervous. I am excited. I am looking forward to this. But I can't live with nothing.
So blah, blah and blah. And blah!
I have been on the phone to all and nothing. I am running out of places to phone to actually get some assistance.
Anyways 1:03 am and going to bed. Not even hungry and haven't been as of late.
So, so nothing.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
I need to finish packing and I am not even motivated to do this. I have to find a way of moving, but not motivated. Need to clean up and make sure the room is clean. Not motivated.
So it is official, I know have keys to my new place, that is empty and looks like it will stay that way, I will be sleeping on the floor, eating on the floor, Oh wait, no plates or cups, glasses. Sitting on the floor.
Working on the floor, And it has new carpeting, it even smells bad. I am not a fan of carpeting, but the price is right.
Anyways I am very depressed and tired. I am trying not to bring it in when I am visiting with mom. Thank GOD that I have some will power.
Mom tonight was very tired again, and barely ate again. I am getting worried about her. She is eating, but not much. All she wants to do when I get their is go to bed. It is 4 pm when I get their. Mom did eat some taco pie I made for her. And a bit of the chicken kabob I brought her. She only ate a very little of the sinko pear I had for her with the Asiago cheese, she loves this. But mom usually eat a whole Asian pear. I have pudding and nothing. She didn't want even this.
I hope she doesn't know I am stressed out and freaking out about this move. I only told her I am moving to be closer to her. To get her out and over for a visit and maybe a night or two. I need to get her a lift reclining chair. So I can get her out of her wheel chair and into a much more comfortable chair, to relax.
I am very, very worried about mom and not eating properly Mom loves the spa treatment. Maybe I should start feeding her in her bed, so she may be more comfortable. I couldn't sit in that chair all day long. It is not comfortable. I have tired it out. Not comfortable at all.
Mom is drinking enough. I make sure of this. I am going to try just fruit tomorrow. I had Ensure, she did drink this and a couple of them a day. Or more. We went through quit a few of them.
I will try. But mom does smile and is very happy to see me. And I look forward to being closer to her. I then will try to get my full disability and a part time job in my field of study. Until I get my hip and knee fixed. Then maybe, I don't know, I need to spend more time with mom than I am doing now.
Summer might be here soon, and I can take her out and down to visit her aunt, my great aunt.
So the PGT had made many promises, to help me with my dentures. Yes I have dentures. I have stated that I have no spleen and one of the side effects of this, is weak bones and that my teeth just broke apart, very easily. So since my early twenties I have had at least a partial denture and then in my thirties almost a whole set.
Now because of my extreme weight loss, they no longer fit properly and this also makes it hard to eat. Even though I have no funds to eat. But the PGT had said that they would help me out with this. I can only get $1000.00 paid towards them. And it is allot more, to be precise, an extra $3500.00. So I have wrote him and said that I would rather have these funds to furnish this new place and get mom a lift chair. Which she needs when she comes over.
But he has deigned this ever happened. Though I have the emails to prove this to the contrary. And he just doesn't get this. I have given up everything for my mother and am very happy about this as well. And I will continue to give up even eating, clothing that fits etc..... But I need to furnish this place. As mom needs to have a place she can go too. And a place where we can have people over to visit. As in her aunt and my cousin, her brother and my sister's and their families.
I write him all the time lately, and will continue to do this. As, making promises to someone who remembers most things is not a good idea.
Mom needs this place as much as I do, and everything that it will bring to her life. The pleasure it will bring, the peace of mind. The getting out for visits and possibly over night stays. OK yes to over night stays.
Mom lets me get her into her night gown, already. So this is not a problem. Mom, I know will let me take her to the washroom. I wash her mostly already.
So I cannot even explain what I am feeling right now. Extremely depressed, tired, anxious, very nervous. I am excited. I am looking forward to this. But I can't live with nothing.
So blah, blah and blah. And blah!
I have been on the phone to all and nothing. I am running out of places to phone to actually get some assistance.
Anyways 1:03 am and going to bed. Not even hungry and haven't been as of late.
So, so nothing.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
I need to finish packing and I am not even motivated to do this. I have to find a way of moving, but not motivated. Need to clean up and make sure the room is clean. Not motivated.
Monday, June 18, 2012
I really don't know anything
Hello again Finally
So for the last few days I have had to do my laundry by hand and in the sink. Not fun and the clothing does not get that clean.
And I am feeling very low. I am finding that I am lonely. Love is something that comes around once, and true love will last forever.
Not for me. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother heart and soul. And I would be doing this than anything else. Mom needs me and I need my mother. Yes I am a mommy's boy. Always have been. Mom did everything for me, I mean, she took me to my swim meets, baseball. etc...........
I have two homes now. One with furniture, a bed, and the other absolutely nothing. I don't have much left to pack and I really don't have anything. Except what I have mentioned in the previous posts.
Mom, again tonight was very tired and not very hungry. I mad her something and she barley ate any of it. But she did eat a papaya. She just wanted to go to bed, again.
Mom is becoming very tired of being in her wheel chair. I took her to her bed and put her in their and fed her dinner. She was extremely comfortable. I need to get her one of those chairs that tilt up so I can just stand her up and let her sit in a recliner. Which is what they are. Lifting chairs, or something like that.
Depressed is not the word. I need to do more for mom, as in having her over for visits and in a place that is comfortable for her, and has the things necessary to make her lunch or dinner, snacks and drinks etc.........
After I fed her dinner, it was time for the spa treatment and this is where mom gets so relaxed, she doesn't even get upset at the staff, for disturbing her relaxation. I really do feel very bad for mom. I keep checking the book that you sign to take mom out and I never, ever see any of my families signatures.
I do as I can and when I move their, I will do this more often. And I need to furnish my place to have mom over.
I can't even write anything today. It was an uneventful day, and very depressing, for both mom and I.
I need to keep up my faith and for all to pray that I get the funds to get the things I need. Furniture, kitchen ware and bed room things. Lamps, dishes etc..............
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
So for the last few days I have had to do my laundry by hand and in the sink. Not fun and the clothing does not get that clean.
And I am feeling very low. I am finding that I am lonely. Love is something that comes around once, and true love will last forever.
Not for me. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother heart and soul. And I would be doing this than anything else. Mom needs me and I need my mother. Yes I am a mommy's boy. Always have been. Mom did everything for me, I mean, she took me to my swim meets, baseball. etc...........
I have two homes now. One with furniture, a bed, and the other absolutely nothing. I don't have much left to pack and I really don't have anything. Except what I have mentioned in the previous posts.
Mom, again tonight was very tired and not very hungry. I mad her something and she barley ate any of it. But she did eat a papaya. She just wanted to go to bed, again.
Mom is becoming very tired of being in her wheel chair. I took her to her bed and put her in their and fed her dinner. She was extremely comfortable. I need to get her one of those chairs that tilt up so I can just stand her up and let her sit in a recliner. Which is what they are. Lifting chairs, or something like that.
Depressed is not the word. I need to do more for mom, as in having her over for visits and in a place that is comfortable for her, and has the things necessary to make her lunch or dinner, snacks and drinks etc.........
After I fed her dinner, it was time for the spa treatment and this is where mom gets so relaxed, she doesn't even get upset at the staff, for disturbing her relaxation. I really do feel very bad for mom. I keep checking the book that you sign to take mom out and I never, ever see any of my families signatures.
I do as I can and when I move their, I will do this more often. And I need to furnish my place to have mom over.
I can't even write anything today. It was an uneventful day, and very depressing, for both mom and I.
I need to keep up my faith and for all to pray that I get the funds to get the things I need. Furniture, kitchen ware and bed room things. Lamps, dishes etc..............
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Sunday, June 17, 2012
I am stressed
Hello again
So I am officially paying rent for two places now. One has a bed and living room furniture for me to sit on. And the other has absolutely nothing.
I am basically packed and I realize I have nothing. It has been two years that I have been here and I still have nothing. Of course, most of my clothing doesn't fit me anymore.
I don't even have sheets, one pillow, no bed, no nothing. I really mean nothing. I am really still upset over the women who took everything of mine. OK, it happened and I have dealt with it. It is only now that I am moving into a place that has nothing, and is a great step to having a place completely on my own. Well this is on my own.
It has been a very long time since I lived by myself.
And not having anything, means I don't have anything for mom to sit on. I need one of those raising chairs so I can stand mom up and then get her into the chair and then sit her down. Mom needs to get out of the wheel chair every once in a while. More often than not. Moving closer to her is so I can have her over and have her relax outside of the home.
With nothing, this is impossible. I can say what I need, but that would take pages and pages. I can tell you what I have. A bunch of boxes of mom's things, decorations, a few articles of clothing, that don't fit me anymore. A pillow, a set of pillow cases. You get what I am saying.
So tonight, when I arrived in White Rock, mom was almost asleep. I gave her a drink, and the dinner. Mom was not hungry at all, she was just tired. Period. I tried to get her to eat as much as possible. She ate very slowly. chewing her food over and over again.
I tried to give her some fruit, did not happen. Mom was starting to get mad. She was trying to tell me she just wanted to go to bed and have the spa treatment done. I was not listening tonight. Carefully enough.
I got a right hook into my eye. And a scratch on my neck. I wasn't fast enough. It is OK, I would rather her take it out on me than the staff. It is not the first time I have had a black eye from her, or scratches. No big deal. I just need to pay attention more, when mom gets mad.
Mom was becoming very impatient with me, and wanted to get going to bed. I packed up everything as quick as possible, but wasn't quick enough.
Mom usually lets me get her into her night gown. But tonight she just wanted to go straight into the bed. I get it. Getting out of the chair and in a relaxed place. Then to have her spa treatment done. To be completely relaxed. This was her goal this evening. I get it.
I sang to her as I did her spa treatment, as usual. And mom just became limp. This was great and she calmed down and was smiling at me. And when the staff member came into change her. I usually go and make some hot water for a tea. Then when I return I finish off by putting lotion on her hands and arms. And the night cream on her face. But being so tired, mom started to get mad again. But I calmed her down again and finished. I sang our goodnight song and left.
I got soaking wet on the way their and was really cold. And now, it is bed time. Well, go and watch something.
Day Whatever. I don't know anymore, 15, 16 something like that. I am though becoming very weak.
But I can't give up I have to get furnishing to fill this place I am paying rent for.
So now I must leave for today. I have to keep my faith, as I need to move this week. Have too. Mom needs me out their.
I don't need expensive anything. Just something. Well everything
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
So I am officially paying rent for two places now. One has a bed and living room furniture for me to sit on. And the other has absolutely nothing.
I am basically packed and I realize I have nothing. It has been two years that I have been here and I still have nothing. Of course, most of my clothing doesn't fit me anymore.
I don't even have sheets, one pillow, no bed, no nothing. I really mean nothing. I am really still upset over the women who took everything of mine. OK, it happened and I have dealt with it. It is only now that I am moving into a place that has nothing, and is a great step to having a place completely on my own. Well this is on my own.
It has been a very long time since I lived by myself.
And not having anything, means I don't have anything for mom to sit on. I need one of those raising chairs so I can stand mom up and then get her into the chair and then sit her down. Mom needs to get out of the wheel chair every once in a while. More often than not. Moving closer to her is so I can have her over and have her relax outside of the home.
With nothing, this is impossible. I can say what I need, but that would take pages and pages. I can tell you what I have. A bunch of boxes of mom's things, decorations, a few articles of clothing, that don't fit me anymore. A pillow, a set of pillow cases. You get what I am saying.
So tonight, when I arrived in White Rock, mom was almost asleep. I gave her a drink, and the dinner. Mom was not hungry at all, she was just tired. Period. I tried to get her to eat as much as possible. She ate very slowly. chewing her food over and over again.
I tried to give her some fruit, did not happen. Mom was starting to get mad. She was trying to tell me she just wanted to go to bed and have the spa treatment done. I was not listening tonight. Carefully enough.
I got a right hook into my eye. And a scratch on my neck. I wasn't fast enough. It is OK, I would rather her take it out on me than the staff. It is not the first time I have had a black eye from her, or scratches. No big deal. I just need to pay attention more, when mom gets mad.
Mom was becoming very impatient with me, and wanted to get going to bed. I packed up everything as quick as possible, but wasn't quick enough.
Mom usually lets me get her into her night gown. But tonight she just wanted to go straight into the bed. I get it. Getting out of the chair and in a relaxed place. Then to have her spa treatment done. To be completely relaxed. This was her goal this evening. I get it.
I sang to her as I did her spa treatment, as usual. And mom just became limp. This was great and she calmed down and was smiling at me. And when the staff member came into change her. I usually go and make some hot water for a tea. Then when I return I finish off by putting lotion on her hands and arms. And the night cream on her face. But being so tired, mom started to get mad again. But I calmed her down again and finished. I sang our goodnight song and left.
I got soaking wet on the way their and was really cold. And now, it is bed time. Well, go and watch something.
Day Whatever. I don't know anymore, 15, 16 something like that. I am though becoming very weak.
But I can't give up I have to get furnishing to fill this place I am paying rent for.
So now I must leave for today. I have to keep my faith, as I need to move this week. Have too. Mom needs me out their.
I don't need expensive anything. Just something. Well everything
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
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