Hello again
So I am happy that my sisters do come at
least once or twice a month. I am happy for mom. Otherwise I could care
less about them.
Now I forgot to mention that while I
am with mom, I check to see if everything is OK with her. I check for
bruises, needle marks ( as I have told them that mom is never to get any
anti psychotic medication) but they lie all the time about what mom
gets. I check to see if she is stoned, her eyes give it away.
I
am always checking to make sure they give mom her supplement everyday.I
check to see if her diaper is full. If so I change her.
I
tell them that mom cannot take the florescent lights, and to put the
sun glasses on her. If they are not on, I go and get them. And repeat
myself, over and over again to the staff.
It is I who
tells the staff if there is anything wrong with mom. I know her that
well. I am the one who catches each and every thing that is wrong with
her. From the simplest sniffle to mom being sick or having dental
issues.
The staff do not notice anything that is wrong. with mom (Mary)
This
is part of my daily routine with mom. To make sure everything is OK and
to make sure she is being treated with the dignity she deserves.
Tonight
mom ate very well. I brought a quiche for her. Well half of one
anyways. And she ate it all. Did not want the meal they supplied.
And
Fridays is one of the nights that I was her hair. Every other day. It
makes her feel so good. The smile on her face tells the whole story.
And when mom is done and ready for bed and her nightly spa treatment, she runs her hand over my face. It is a beautiful thing.
Mom may not speak clearly, but she does speak volumes without being verbal.
People are so surprised that I do this everyday for mom. And I travel such a distance by transit.
I really just ignore people now, when they speak like this. I do this as I love my mother and it is the right thing to do.
PERIOD
Well midnight again, so time to go.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Oh Friday
Hello again
So I am happy that my sisters do come at least once or twice a month. I am happy for mom. Otherwise I could care less about them.
Now I forgot to mention that while I am with mom, I check to see if everything is OK with her. I check for bruises, needle marks ( as I have told them that mom is never to get any anti psychotic medication) but they lie all the time about what mom gets. I check to see if she is stoned, her eyes give it away.
I am always checking to make sure they give mom her supplement everyday.I check to see if her diaper is full. If so I change her.
I tell them that mom cannot take the florescent lights, and to put the sun glasses on her. If they are not on, I go and get them. And repeat myself, over and over again to the staff.
It is I who tells the staff if there is anything wrong with mom. I know her that well. I am the one who catches each and every thing that is wrong with her. From the simplest sniffle to mom being sick or having dental issues.
The staff do not notice anything that is wrong. with mom (Mary)
This is part of my daily routine with mom. To make sure everything is OK and to make sure she is being treated with the dignity she deserves.
Tonight mom ate very well. I brought a quiche for her. Well half of one anyways. And she ate it all. Did not want the meal they supplied.
And Fridays is one of the nights that I was her hair. Every other day. It makes her feel so good. The smile on her face tells the whole story.
And when mom is done and ready for bed and her nightly spa treatment, she runs her hand over my face. It is a beautiful thing.
Mom may not speak clearly, but she does speak volumes without being verbal.
People are so surprised that I do this everyday for mom. And I travel such a distance by transit.
I really just ignore people now, when they speak like this. I do this as I love my mother and it is the right thing to do.
PERIOD
Well midnight again, so time to go.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Shcmuland
So I am happy that my sisters do come at least once or twice a month. I am happy for mom. Otherwise I could care less about them.
Now I forgot to mention that while I am with mom, I check to see if everything is OK with her. I check for bruises, needle marks ( as I have told them that mom is never to get any anti psychotic medication) but they lie all the time about what mom gets. I check to see if she is stoned, her eyes give it away.
I am always checking to make sure they give mom her supplement everyday.I check to see if her diaper is full. If so I change her.
I tell them that mom cannot take the florescent lights, and to put the sun glasses on her. If they are not on, I go and get them. And repeat myself, over and over again to the staff.
It is I who tells the staff if there is anything wrong with mom. I know her that well. I am the one who catches each and every thing that is wrong with her. From the simplest sniffle to mom being sick or having dental issues.
The staff do not notice anything that is wrong. with mom (Mary)
This is part of my daily routine with mom. To make sure everything is OK and to make sure she is being treated with the dignity she deserves.
Tonight mom ate very well. I brought a quiche for her. Well half of one anyways. And she ate it all. Did not want the meal they supplied.
And Fridays is one of the nights that I was her hair. Every other day. It makes her feel so good. The smile on her face tells the whole story.
And when mom is done and ready for bed and her nightly spa treatment, she runs her hand over my face. It is a beautiful thing.
Mom may not speak clearly, but she does speak volumes without being verbal.
People are so surprised that I do this everyday for mom. And I travel such a distance by transit.
I really just ignore people now, when they speak like this. I do this as I love my mother and it is the right thing to do.
PERIOD
Well midnight again, so time to go.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Shcmuland
Friday, July 19, 2013
All in all
Hello again
When I arrive at mom's, the first thing I do, before I go in, is to sit and have a couple of smokes, throw my junk into the imaginary can and go into see mom.
I want to say that from the moment I get into to see mom, until I leave, I am busy, There is no time to sit and relax I am busy with mom.
As soon as I see her, I kiss her hello, wipe her mouth from the medication she is given and the nurse does not wipe her mouth. I give her something to drink. As it seems that mom is dehydrated and is extremely thirsty. She gets some coke, juice and water. Now I am giving her ice water as well. Then we get all of her things. Her dinner plates, some wet towels, and her things from the fridge.
Then I feed her, and get her ready for bed. Then it is time for her nightly spa treatment. From 4:30 pm until 7:30- 8 pm I am constantly busy. It is when I leave I sit down and have a smoke before my walk up to the bus stop for my 3 hour journey home.
And I do this everyday, without fail. And I love every minute of it. It is my turn to look after mom.
Now it is summer and it would be nice for mom to have summer clothing. Oh wait, as of January she had allot of summer clothing. But my sisters in their right mind, or not, decided to take mom's clothing.
I search all over and buy mom's clothing for her. I get the best quality for the best price. I cannot afford to keep buying clothing for her, only to be taken by my sisters. What goes through their minds. Thinking that it is never going to be summer again. Or that my mother can dress in rags. She doesn't need to look good.
None of them think about mom and how she feels. Doesn't one feel better about themselves if they are dressed well. I think so.
This is what I deal with.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
When I arrive at mom's, the first thing I do, before I go in, is to sit and have a couple of smokes, throw my junk into the imaginary can and go into see mom.
I want to say that from the moment I get into to see mom, until I leave, I am busy, There is no time to sit and relax I am busy with mom.
As soon as I see her, I kiss her hello, wipe her mouth from the medication she is given and the nurse does not wipe her mouth. I give her something to drink. As it seems that mom is dehydrated and is extremely thirsty. She gets some coke, juice and water. Now I am giving her ice water as well. Then we get all of her things. Her dinner plates, some wet towels, and her things from the fridge.
Then I feed her, and get her ready for bed. Then it is time for her nightly spa treatment. From 4:30 pm until 7:30- 8 pm I am constantly busy. It is when I leave I sit down and have a smoke before my walk up to the bus stop for my 3 hour journey home.
And I do this everyday, without fail. And I love every minute of it. It is my turn to look after mom.
Now it is summer and it would be nice for mom to have summer clothing. Oh wait, as of January she had allot of summer clothing. But my sisters in their right mind, or not, decided to take mom's clothing.
I search all over and buy mom's clothing for her. I get the best quality for the best price. I cannot afford to keep buying clothing for her, only to be taken by my sisters. What goes through their minds. Thinking that it is never going to be summer again. Or that my mother can dress in rags. She doesn't need to look good.
None of them think about mom and how she feels. Doesn't one feel better about themselves if they are dressed well. I think so.
This is what I deal with.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
Thursday, July 18, 2013
We are here to do for others
Hello again
I would like to thank all the individuals from all of the different countries who read this little blog. I guess I should of written down all of the different countries, that read my blog. It would be interesting to know.
I write today to say I am tired of the idiot family members who only write negative things about me and what I do. But have never actually done anything for my mother. Or even met her. This idiot is just married to one of the Rednecks in my family. The other sister is trailer trash.
They have no idea about what my mother is about. Who she is or even who she was. Mom and dad did everything for them. They took advantage of them. Took everything they could from them.
Then they deny it every happened to make themselves look good in front of others. We never did that or we never did this. People lie.
I don't give a crap if they don't know how to deal with mom and what she is going through. SUCK IT UP AND DEAL WITH IT. IT IS YOUR MOTHER. You imbecilic morons.
If not, than allow me to have commentee of person, so I can make sure mom is well taken care of. So she is treated with respect and dignity.
Don't get me wrong, I am nothing special. I am just a person who lives daily, knowing that I will not feel guilt when mom passes or I don't feel guilt about my dad's passing. I was their and I am their.
I know what the right thing to do in life is and I am doing it. I am an imperfect person with many flaws. I rise above my flaws and struggles to be a better person in life.
I have always had a extreme amount of compassion and concern for anyone who is suffering. Especially the one's who are dealing with this horrific disease of Alzheimer's and Dementia. I see the pain and loss of loved one's all the time, and have seen a tremendous amount of death over the years.
This keeps me grounded in the moment. Realizing that it is the now, that is the most important part of our lives. Not looking into the future or reminiscing about the past. but keeping our thoughts on what we can do for the person right now. In the moment. How can we change this persons life, now. Can we make a lasting impact on their lives. Not for our own benefit, but for the benefit of other's.
Is it important to make sure we all live with dignity and respect. Is this to much to ask of ourselves. That we do what we can to make sure others are treated well.
Can we see our own pain in others misfortunes. Can we learn from the loss of our loved one's. To make us better people. I do think so.
It is important for me to be their for mom each day. I don't do it to gain acceptance from other's. Actually I am a lonely person. This part and parcel of being a caregiver, to dedicate one's life to making sure their loved one is treated fairly.
It is a extremely hard road at times. I am trying to feed mom and she is reaching for something or trying to grab my hand. She is upset and wants to go to bed. And then gets mad and tries to hit me. All part of the disease.
I have struggled through loss and all I want to do is to yell as loud as I can at someone, anyone. To just achieve a release of some sort. Yet I don't, I act as the mature person that I am told to be in life.
I do ask for help, as I don't receive any. And I have learned to deal with this. It is not an easy thing to do it all by one's self, But I do what I can each and everyday.
I suffer with depression and anxiety daily. Though I suffer with this, the moment I arrive at mom's I leave this in my imaginary bucket, outside of her home, to pick it up after I leave. So my mother has only me, not my problems while I am their.
It is also difficult when I am their, because mom only wants me to pay all of my attention to her. She will get extremely upset if I am speaking with other's or even watching TV while I visit. My time with her is hers alone.
I deal with this and accept it. I explain to others this situation and I hope they understand.
Now I must say good night.
GOD bless
Kris Schmuland.
I would like to thank all the individuals from all of the different countries who read this little blog. I guess I should of written down all of the different countries, that read my blog. It would be interesting to know.
I write today to say I am tired of the idiot family members who only write negative things about me and what I do. But have never actually done anything for my mother. Or even met her. This idiot is just married to one of the Rednecks in my family. The other sister is trailer trash.
They have no idea about what my mother is about. Who she is or even who she was. Mom and dad did everything for them. They took advantage of them. Took everything they could from them.
Then they deny it every happened to make themselves look good in front of others. We never did that or we never did this. People lie.
I don't give a crap if they don't know how to deal with mom and what she is going through. SUCK IT UP AND DEAL WITH IT. IT IS YOUR MOTHER. You imbecilic morons.
If not, than allow me to have commentee of person, so I can make sure mom is well taken care of. So she is treated with respect and dignity.
Don't get me wrong, I am nothing special. I am just a person who lives daily, knowing that I will not feel guilt when mom passes or I don't feel guilt about my dad's passing. I was their and I am their.
I know what the right thing to do in life is and I am doing it. I am an imperfect person with many flaws. I rise above my flaws and struggles to be a better person in life.
I have always had a extreme amount of compassion and concern for anyone who is suffering. Especially the one's who are dealing with this horrific disease of Alzheimer's and Dementia. I see the pain and loss of loved one's all the time, and have seen a tremendous amount of death over the years.
This keeps me grounded in the moment. Realizing that it is the now, that is the most important part of our lives. Not looking into the future or reminiscing about the past. but keeping our thoughts on what we can do for the person right now. In the moment. How can we change this persons life, now. Can we make a lasting impact on their lives. Not for our own benefit, but for the benefit of other's.
Is it important to make sure we all live with dignity and respect. Is this to much to ask of ourselves. That we do what we can to make sure others are treated well.
Can we see our own pain in others misfortunes. Can we learn from the loss of our loved one's. To make us better people. I do think so.
It is important for me to be their for mom each day. I don't do it to gain acceptance from other's. Actually I am a lonely person. This part and parcel of being a caregiver, to dedicate one's life to making sure their loved one is treated fairly.
It is a extremely hard road at times. I am trying to feed mom and she is reaching for something or trying to grab my hand. She is upset and wants to go to bed. And then gets mad and tries to hit me. All part of the disease.
I have struggled through loss and all I want to do is to yell as loud as I can at someone, anyone. To just achieve a release of some sort. Yet I don't, I act as the mature person that I am told to be in life.
I do ask for help, as I don't receive any. And I have learned to deal with this. It is not an easy thing to do it all by one's self, But I do what I can each and everyday.
I suffer with depression and anxiety daily. Though I suffer with this, the moment I arrive at mom's I leave this in my imaginary bucket, outside of her home, to pick it up after I leave. So my mother has only me, not my problems while I am their.
It is also difficult when I am their, because mom only wants me to pay all of my attention to her. She will get extremely upset if I am speaking with other's or even watching TV while I visit. My time with her is hers alone.
I deal with this and accept it. I explain to others this situation and I hope they understand.
Now I must say good night.
GOD bless
Kris Schmuland.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
I am
Hello again
So the PGT is going to screw mom again. I just found out today the guy is going on vacation, starting right away. And mom is going to be out of certain cosmetics before he will return. The person and his lack of foresight is going to leave mom without.
I can't afford the cosmetics. As it is I only eat a few times a week.
My back is killing me, and I don't have the funds to pay for the service charge that is required when going to the physio therapist. I am covered for the rest, but not the service charge. The doctor wants me to go and tells me this is the only way you will get your back fixed.
I tell him, I understand, but I am broke and don't have the funds for the service charge. He tells me to find it.
This is $100.00 I don't have.
With this pain, it is hard to move mom around. To change her, put her to bed, etc..... But I do it anyways. It has now been a week since I hurt my back and it is not getting any better.
The pain is so great, I am having a hard time with it. With dealing with everything. I put on a smile when I arrive, but it is hard at times.
I love mom, I change her, put her to bed and this is hard on my back. All the while mom is wanting to hold my hand and when I am not doing this, she is getting upset and trying to hit me.
It is part of the disease, Sun downer. Mom just wants to be loved and to feel secure. This I get, but trying to do everything with my back in pain, is very hard.
I am not in the greatest of moods because of the pain I feel. And the bus trip today didn't make it any better. The bus was packed and it was making feel claustrophobic. Which in turn made me even more upset.
So when I arrived at mom's I had to sit for a few minutes and get my composure. I was extremely agitated. and I didn't want to be with mom while feeling this way.
I am very pissed off at the PGT now. They are acting like gods again.
Time to take action against them.
I need to go to physio before I can't walk, I have no idea what I am going to do. I have no money. Or anyone to help me out.
I am covered for most of the physio except, again, the service charge. This is $25.00 per visit. It may not seem like allot to most people, but when you have nothing, it is allot. I am willing to for go eating to get better.
WOW It even hurts for me to sit her and type.
I fractured my back many years ago and this feels like the same pain. I have not felt like this in a very long time.
Usually when my back goes out I am feeling better within a few days. It never last this long.
OK I am always asking for something. But please pray for me that GOD sees fit to provide me with the necessary funds to pay for the service charges for he physio therapy.
I am in extreme pain and it is not getting better.
Mom tonight was not in the greatest of moods. Very tired and not wanting to eat much. I did, however, convince her to eat before bed.
Once I got her into bed and changed her diapers. She was feeling better. I don't get it, mom wants me to do this for her. I guess it is better than sitting in your own filth for hours. And mom did change me when I was a kid.
Once I put the gloves on it becomes sterile. So it doesn't bother me.
Please pray for me. I do need this.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
So the PGT is going to screw mom again. I just found out today the guy is going on vacation, starting right away. And mom is going to be out of certain cosmetics before he will return. The person and his lack of foresight is going to leave mom without.
I can't afford the cosmetics. As it is I only eat a few times a week.
My back is killing me, and I don't have the funds to pay for the service charge that is required when going to the physio therapist. I am covered for the rest, but not the service charge. The doctor wants me to go and tells me this is the only way you will get your back fixed.
I tell him, I understand, but I am broke and don't have the funds for the service charge. He tells me to find it.
This is $100.00 I don't have.
With this pain, it is hard to move mom around. To change her, put her to bed, etc..... But I do it anyways. It has now been a week since I hurt my back and it is not getting any better.
The pain is so great, I am having a hard time with it. With dealing with everything. I put on a smile when I arrive, but it is hard at times.
I love mom, I change her, put her to bed and this is hard on my back. All the while mom is wanting to hold my hand and when I am not doing this, she is getting upset and trying to hit me.
It is part of the disease, Sun downer. Mom just wants to be loved and to feel secure. This I get, but trying to do everything with my back in pain, is very hard.
I am not in the greatest of moods because of the pain I feel. And the bus trip today didn't make it any better. The bus was packed and it was making feel claustrophobic. Which in turn made me even more upset.
So when I arrived at mom's I had to sit for a few minutes and get my composure. I was extremely agitated. and I didn't want to be with mom while feeling this way.
I am very pissed off at the PGT now. They are acting like gods again.
Time to take action against them.
I need to go to physio before I can't walk, I have no idea what I am going to do. I have no money. Or anyone to help me out.
I am covered for most of the physio except, again, the service charge. This is $25.00 per visit. It may not seem like allot to most people, but when you have nothing, it is allot. I am willing to for go eating to get better.
WOW It even hurts for me to sit her and type.
I fractured my back many years ago and this feels like the same pain. I have not felt like this in a very long time.
Usually when my back goes out I am feeling better within a few days. It never last this long.
OK I am always asking for something. But please pray for me that GOD sees fit to provide me with the necessary funds to pay for the service charges for he physio therapy.
I am in extreme pain and it is not getting better.
Mom tonight was not in the greatest of moods. Very tired and not wanting to eat much. I did, however, convince her to eat before bed.
Once I got her into bed and changed her diapers. She was feeling better. I don't get it, mom wants me to do this for her. I guess it is better than sitting in your own filth for hours. And mom did change me when I was a kid.
Once I put the gloves on it becomes sterile. So it doesn't bother me.
Please pray for me. I do need this.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Monday, July 15, 2013
The pain boss
Hello again
At least the pain from my back is making all the other pain, none existent. I feel nothing else but pain in my back.
On top of this, my hearing impairment is not getting any better. It is really becoming problematic for me. But I can use it to my advantage when I don't want to speak to someone. I can just say I didn't hear you, I am deaf at the moment.
Yet I can still hear myself speak when my hearing goes out for whatever length of time it happens to be for. 1 hour, six hours. I am completely deaf or very hard of hearing. The last time I was in to see the doctor, I could barely hear him. It was all muffled. He finally understood me when I say to him, I am having serious problems with my hearing.
Today was mom's bath day again. Sunday is the only day they wash her. I, on the other hand, wash mom daily. Arms,back, legs and face. I have to add gel to her hair, as they don't use the products I supply.
And they had a sheet, blanket and her comforter on her when I arrived. It is hot outside and mom was sweating. I removed the blanket and pulled the sheet back, as well as the comforter. I put a cold cloth on her feet for a while. To cool her off a bit.
This made her very happy and she smiled and said my name. This is important, as mom does not say my name very often. I have only heard her say it no more than 4 times, in the last several years. It felt so good to hear her say thank you and I love you. Clearly.
I bought mom this 7 layer dip and some chip/crackers, plus the other items that she gets daily. The meal they provided was OK tonight. Fishcakes with a lemon sauce. Mom ate most of her dinner, plus allot of the dip.
Normally on the weekends mom is not very hungry. I have been making her this excellent smoothie, which she loves and this usually supplements her diet. Or lack of good nutritional foods in her meals. They still are giving her minced foods. They just don't listen. So I need to call them again. And again, and again. It seems this is what it takes. I do need to also contact the nutritionist, to get her to stop serving mom some of the horrible foods she gets. Foods that even a dog would not eat. That says something doesn't it.
The whole time I am feeding mom dinner she is reaching for my hand. I try to hold her hand as often as I can while feeding her. I do need both hands to do this.
One of the main issues I have with this Sunday bath day, is I have to completely adjust mom in her bed. I have to first move the mattress up and then adjust mom to the new position. They know I through my back out and it is difficult right now.
It is almost 1 pm now and time to go again.
I have much more to say, but I will have to wait until another night
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
At least the pain from my back is making all the other pain, none existent. I feel nothing else but pain in my back.
On top of this, my hearing impairment is not getting any better. It is really becoming problematic for me. But I can use it to my advantage when I don't want to speak to someone. I can just say I didn't hear you, I am deaf at the moment.
Yet I can still hear myself speak when my hearing goes out for whatever length of time it happens to be for. 1 hour, six hours. I am completely deaf or very hard of hearing. The last time I was in to see the doctor, I could barely hear him. It was all muffled. He finally understood me when I say to him, I am having serious problems with my hearing.
Today was mom's bath day again. Sunday is the only day they wash her. I, on the other hand, wash mom daily. Arms,back, legs and face. I have to add gel to her hair, as they don't use the products I supply.
And they had a sheet, blanket and her comforter on her when I arrived. It is hot outside and mom was sweating. I removed the blanket and pulled the sheet back, as well as the comforter. I put a cold cloth on her feet for a while. To cool her off a bit.
This made her very happy and she smiled and said my name. This is important, as mom does not say my name very often. I have only heard her say it no more than 4 times, in the last several years. It felt so good to hear her say thank you and I love you. Clearly.
I bought mom this 7 layer dip and some chip/crackers, plus the other items that she gets daily. The meal they provided was OK tonight. Fishcakes with a lemon sauce. Mom ate most of her dinner, plus allot of the dip.
Normally on the weekends mom is not very hungry. I have been making her this excellent smoothie, which she loves and this usually supplements her diet. Or lack of good nutritional foods in her meals. They still are giving her minced foods. They just don't listen. So I need to call them again. And again, and again. It seems this is what it takes. I do need to also contact the nutritionist, to get her to stop serving mom some of the horrible foods she gets. Foods that even a dog would not eat. That says something doesn't it.
The whole time I am feeding mom dinner she is reaching for my hand. I try to hold her hand as often as I can while feeding her. I do need both hands to do this.
One of the main issues I have with this Sunday bath day, is I have to completely adjust mom in her bed. I have to first move the mattress up and then adjust mom to the new position. They know I through my back out and it is difficult right now.
It is almost 1 pm now and time to go again.
I have much more to say, but I will have to wait until another night
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
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