Hello again
Today has been a very emotional day, from the moment I awoke. I started to cry right away. It is very hard on me. To know that as of the 1ST of January I will not be able to go to see my mother anymore. This is of course due to the PGT and what ever is with them. OK I swore at Stephen Flynn. I called him a F. A. This is due to the continuous promises that are told to me. And then he tells me that the PGT is not going to supply me with any money anymore. I immediately said what about the bus pass. And his response was even this. Then he hung up on me. Well no one likes to be hung up on. I was irate at this point. I phoned back and swore at him.
Then I get an email from someone else telling me that because of the way I have spoken to some of the staff I will not be assisted and will be revisited in 1 one months time. Come on now. The 1st is now,
I have not missed one day, since mom moved to White Rock. As a matter of fact I have only missed a few days in the last 4 four years. Now I am being forced to not see my mother.
They are not aware of the fact it is mom's money.
So tonight while visiting mom, I could not stop hugging and kissing her. Very strong hugs. I sang as much as I could to her. I did not let go of her hand. Mom smiled the whole time.
But I kept tripping over my boots. You see, I have a pair of waterproof boots. But the problem is that the left foot has no problem with them. But the right foot has a big problem. I am tripping and my boot is in the way of my cane. The boot is just to heavy for my right leg. It is in the way of me walking.
So I have a choice. I have two pairs of shoes. The boots, which I can not wear, as I am tripping all the time. And a pair of deck shoes, with holes in the soul. And in this rain, as it has been doing for the last several days, and will continue for, well, until February. Wearing the deck shoes, my feet are always wet. So wear a pair of waterproof boots and fall, or wear the deck shoes and be able to walk properly and have wet feet. I choose the wet feet.
And looking through my closet this morning, I realize I have one pair of jeans left, 3 t-shirts and one soft shell pullover. Which mom keeps asking me why I am wearing this all the time. I simply tell her that this is all I have and I have to wear it as well as the jeans and t-shirt. It is OK though. As long as I get out here to see you. I don't care if I have wet feet or am soaking wet, or cold. As long as I am here and able to be here with you. Everything is OK though.
It is OK, it is only water and it is not the first time I have been soaking wet and will not be the last time. I live in Vancouver, BC Canada. It is a rain forest. Get use to rain or move. I have offered many people that I would drive them to the airport, because they are complaining to much about the rain.
So mom tonight was happy, I was happy. But when I arrived and gave her a hug, I just started to cry. It is very nice and a beautiful experience to be their with mom everyday. I could never described the feeling. No one is going to be able to take these feelings and memories away from me. This is why I do it. I will have these memories forever.
What I do say is, that I am thankful for the Ellen show. She makes me laugh. I get to watch it when I get home.
My mother has been the instrumental part of my being creative, intelligent, brilliant. Mom taught me to use all of what GOD gave me. To try different things. Mom wanted me to be a lawyer. Mom was supportive of me when I studied science and made a mess, as I developed my artistic side and developed my left brain, right brain side. Through all my car accidents and illness's, which were many.
I am so hurt that mom is not going to be able to see me. The PGT do not realize that they are also hurting my mother, when they deny me this. Mom expects me their. Everyday. This is what she waits for. And mom does not like me to speak with anyone else while I am their. Our time she tells me. I understand, no one else comes and visits. Not a single relative gives a crap, the only care about themselves.
But this is the way of the world. As shown over the Christmas season. I did not receive a single bit of help from anyone. I am sorry I did receive help from a lovely couple. And GOD Bless them. I do, however have to write them. Very soon. As in tomorrow morning. Please forgive me, but y'all know I speak my mind and tell the truth.
I need to go now. I have been living on porge/oats and I am out and I am hungry. So to bed I go. I need the sleep.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris
