Hello Again
I was speaking with a bus driver friend, on my way home tonight and he asked me where I was coming from. I told him White Rock. And he asked me if I go everyday. Yes I told him. And he said that I am a good son. I just replied, that it is not that I am a good son. My mother deserves my time and attention. It is my mother who is a good mother. She raised me and it is my turn to take care of her. Without even thinking about it. I have no reservations about doing this either.
After he said to me. Now a days no one would do what you do. They are to selfish and to into themselves. They are all about me, me, me. That is OK I said. I do this as I do not know how many years or months I have left with my mother and I plan on doing whatever it takes to do all I can for her.
Now that includes begging you all for help this Christmas season, asking for assistance so I can make mom's Christmas great. To help me keep warm and dry, while traveling to see my mother everyday. To make sure mom eats everyday. And not for me to force her to eat that hospital food. I just can't do it.
To see this Christmas full of presents and of good cheer. To see a huge smile on my mother's face, to see her full, To see her eat everyday.
And for me to be warm and dry, both my feet and the rest of me. To maybe have something for myself for once. To maybe have a Turkey dinner, at home, after I visit mom. To maybe have something, or allot of presents under the tree.
Maybe a great Christmas for a change. I am injured and I hurt all the time. And it is getting worse. But it is OK. I can deal with this.
I have two nicknames.
1: DARKMAN
2: HOUSE
Pet peeves
People answering the phone while we are talking
Someone not saying thanks when I open the door for them.
People walking to slow and not thinking of the other's behind them, taking up the entire isle.
People not understanding that I only have a few years left with my mother. And I do this because of this. And my father and grandfather died of this horrible disease
It is a nasty disease, when you watch your mother lose the ability to use a fork and knife, or even a spoon, To watch her not be able to even lift a drink up to her mouth. As mom has done in the last few months. Gone! To not be able to even take herself to the washroom, and have to rely on other's to do this. And wait and wait, for someone to help. As it has been for sometime now. Mom goes to bed at 7PM and their are things that have to be done first, before I put her to bed.
To know that your mother cannot speak, properly, for no one to understand her. To see that frustration on her face, as this happens. Totally have to rely on the assistance of other's. And when they don't care, mom has to suffer.
To have someone, completely take over your fiances, and don't care what you think or not. And not allowing one to even have the basic of necessities or to even eat something good. As the PGT and Stephen Flynn does.
To know that someday, your mother might not even know who you are. To feel extreme, emotional and mental pain, as one watches this happen to their loved one.
This is what I deal with everyday. And yes, their are days when it is hard to even hold back the tears, while visiting. And then crying after leaving. Because it is so painful. Which I have done so many times.
I have learned to do so many things over the years, as in a manicure, some makeup, facials, learning to communicate with mom even though I use to not be able to understand her. Caring and compassion. Loving unconditionally, without thinking about it.
I have never been moved to action like this before. To self sacrifice. Wait a minute, it is not self sacrificing anything. It is being their for someone, something I was not very good at this before. I am learning more and more about myself everyday, and I am finally changing for the good.
I will have to go now, I need to get up Early, and it is 1AM and I think I wrote enough.
GOD bless and good night
Kris
Don't forget Stephen Fylnn of the PGT is a major cause of our frustration.
