Hello again
It is just pouring rain in Raincouver, the last few days. Unbelievable. It is a good thing I found a water proof jacket last week, just in time. Yes I found it. I was walking home late one night, and on a fence post there it was. Again,just in time for the rain.
Then this morning, while walking to the bus loop, a car came around the corner and drove through a puddle, well, splash, I was soaked. Then as soon as I stepped back onto the sidewalk, it happened again. The same spot, the same puddle. So I was dry on the top and my jeans were soaked.
Mom ate the entire dinner I made for her. The fish and salad. She loved it. Healthy at that. The roommate was not their when I got mom into bed. It was so quit and peaceful. We both enjoyed it immensely. Until of course she came back and as soon as she came into the room, the TV went on.
It is a good thing mom was almost asleep, so it was easy for her to drift off to a deep slumber, while holding her hand.
Not much else happened today. Mom is fine, and happy that I am their everyday. Big smiles on her face.
I am doing mom's laundry right now and as soon as it is finished I will be in bed. Just one of those nights.
Grey and gloomy outside. It is cool though. Beautiful smell.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Saturday, March 8, 2014
Not feeling it
Hello again
For the last week, since the perm situation, I have been noxious, dizzy and I have a headache. Not sure if the smell from the perm is the problem. But I am not able to smoke, it makes it worse.
Maybe it is my body rejecting smoking. If so this would be great. I do know that the more I smoke in a day, the worse I feel. A good thing. I have been wanting to quit smoking. I am done and have had enough. Also it will save me allot of money. Money that I could use to move to White Rock.
Just think about that! What it costs in a month. And then it would save me money on a bus pass. I would only need a one zone, instead of a three zone.
Dreaming! And it would be a dream come true to be living in White Rock. Close to mom and saving me 6 hours each day of traveling. Which, by the way, I will continue to do, so I can be there for mom and take care of her. The way she took care of me when I was growing up. Only fair, to do for her after what mom and dad did for me. Making sure I was well taken care of. Growing up to be the man I am now. Compassionate and caring. Loyal, patient and understanding of the disease. Not afraid to deal with this head on. Without worrying about what others think or feel about me and what I do. Telling me that it is a waste of my time. That I don't get anything from doing this.
I beg to differ. What I get cannot be compared to monetary value's of any amount. It is a true feeling of love and peace within me and mom. Mom knows that there is someone who will be there for her no matter what is happening with her. Or what the disease has done to her. That she will see me every day and she knows this. Mom looks forward to this. Just the fact that she wants to hold my hand, shows that she knows I am and will be their for her..The peace she has from holding my hand, the warmth, the compassion, the caring. Falling asleep holding my hand, give her the greatest sense of peace and relaxation. Falling asleep seeing me as the last person she see's at night.
I don't know if I would like to see me, as the last person I see each night. LOL!
It is Friday, and I was able to wash mom's hair tonight. It made her feel so great. Got her into bed, gave mom her spa treatment and her drinks for the night. And off to sleep she went. Rather quickly.
I was not able to make mom the dinner I wanted to make for her. The fish was not thawed completely. It has to be completely thawed for the dish I want to make her. It would ruin the crust, to much liquid. I will be making this for her tomorrow. Lemon pepper Parmesan cheese panko crusted cod. I have to pat it dry to put the crust on it, before I bake it. And I just finished making her the big salad she loves. I think it will be a good dinner for her. I know it will be. I do have to make her a new smoothie and stop and get mom more papaya and a small dessert.
I stayed latter, just because.
Well tired now and have a few shows to watch. One of these days I will watch the movies I have. Need to clean my hard drive out. I have only 25 GB left of storage. I just can't afford a external drive.
Bye
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
For the last week, since the perm situation, I have been noxious, dizzy and I have a headache. Not sure if the smell from the perm is the problem. But I am not able to smoke, it makes it worse.
Maybe it is my body rejecting smoking. If so this would be great. I do know that the more I smoke in a day, the worse I feel. A good thing. I have been wanting to quit smoking. I am done and have had enough. Also it will save me allot of money. Money that I could use to move to White Rock.
Just think about that! What it costs in a month. And then it would save me money on a bus pass. I would only need a one zone, instead of a three zone.
Dreaming! And it would be a dream come true to be living in White Rock. Close to mom and saving me 6 hours each day of traveling. Which, by the way, I will continue to do, so I can be there for mom and take care of her. The way she took care of me when I was growing up. Only fair, to do for her after what mom and dad did for me. Making sure I was well taken care of. Growing up to be the man I am now. Compassionate and caring. Loyal, patient and understanding of the disease. Not afraid to deal with this head on. Without worrying about what others think or feel about me and what I do. Telling me that it is a waste of my time. That I don't get anything from doing this.
I beg to differ. What I get cannot be compared to monetary value's of any amount. It is a true feeling of love and peace within me and mom. Mom knows that there is someone who will be there for her no matter what is happening with her. Or what the disease has done to her. That she will see me every day and she knows this. Mom looks forward to this. Just the fact that she wants to hold my hand, shows that she knows I am and will be their for her..The peace she has from holding my hand, the warmth, the compassion, the caring. Falling asleep holding my hand, give her the greatest sense of peace and relaxation. Falling asleep seeing me as the last person she see's at night.
I don't know if I would like to see me, as the last person I see each night. LOL!
It is Friday, and I was able to wash mom's hair tonight. It made her feel so great. Got her into bed, gave mom her spa treatment and her drinks for the night. And off to sleep she went. Rather quickly.
I was not able to make mom the dinner I wanted to make for her. The fish was not thawed completely. It has to be completely thawed for the dish I want to make her. It would ruin the crust, to much liquid. I will be making this for her tomorrow. Lemon pepper Parmesan cheese panko crusted cod. I have to pat it dry to put the crust on it, before I bake it. And I just finished making her the big salad she loves. I think it will be a good dinner for her. I know it will be. I do have to make her a new smoothie and stop and get mom more papaya and a small dessert.
I stayed latter, just because.
Well tired now and have a few shows to watch. One of these days I will watch the movies I have. Need to clean my hard drive out. I have only 25 GB left of storage. I just can't afford a external drive.
Bye
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Friday, March 7, 2014
I keep...............
Hello again
So mom has been eating extremely well the last few days. Even though she was tried tonight. I guess, well I know I have been bringing her healthy foods.
The nurse has been giving mom her meds early and so she is not woken up after her spa treatment. This way mom is completely asleep when I leave.
It is getting to much with the roommate. She never stopped talking for the entire time I was their and mom was getting upset before her spa treatment.
So I was in town today and it was quick, which mean't I was able to get out to see mom earlier than normal. This way we were able to start eating earlier. Mom eats slowly, this is a good thing. They tend to force people to eat quickly.
OK they don't force them, but, they put the plates down and within 15 minutes they are coming around taking the plates away. Mom takes at least an hour to eat. This is the way it should be, taking her time and enjoying her dinner and dessert.
Having this opportunity to take care of my mother is the best thing to happen to me. I get to get out of my own crap and take care of someone else.
It is normal Vancouver weather around here now, rain and rain, Grey skies and dreary. X files weather.
I really need to go, need food and sleep.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
So mom has been eating extremely well the last few days. Even though she was tried tonight. I guess, well I know I have been bringing her healthy foods.
The nurse has been giving mom her meds early and so she is not woken up after her spa treatment. This way mom is completely asleep when I leave.
It is getting to much with the roommate. She never stopped talking for the entire time I was their and mom was getting upset before her spa treatment.
So I was in town today and it was quick, which mean't I was able to get out to see mom earlier than normal. This way we were able to start eating earlier. Mom eats slowly, this is a good thing. They tend to force people to eat quickly.
OK they don't force them, but, they put the plates down and within 15 minutes they are coming around taking the plates away. Mom takes at least an hour to eat. This is the way it should be, taking her time and enjoying her dinner and dessert.
Having this opportunity to take care of my mother is the best thing to happen to me. I get to get out of my own crap and take care of someone else.
It is normal Vancouver weather around here now, rain and rain, Grey skies and dreary. X files weather.
I really need to go, need food and sleep.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
More and more
Hello again
I have been in another situation with the PGT I wanting a juicer for mom, so she can get the proper amount of fresh vegetables. But I can't afford to purchase it. And mom only gets over cooked vegetables at the home she is in. But he is refusing to even write me back.
The last time we had a problem, he threatened to cut the weekly assistance for mom's drinks and snacks, plus other things and threatened to sue me. Well the PGT has already threatened me in the past. Hence the qualifier of For legal purposes this is my opinion.
I wanted a juicer for mom, a long time ago. but changed my mind. I thought the smoothies would be enough. But not so. She needs this.
So mom was tired and hungry. She ate allot tonight. We had to eat in her room, because are usual table was taken and we couldn't eat in the kitchen because it is used at 6 pm.
One of the staff asked me today if I would rather drive than take the bus. I didn't even answer her. Of course I would rather drive. But accidents put a stop to that and I can't afford to drive. Even if I could, I think I would rather spend that extra money I would spend on gas, insurance and maintenance on extra things for mom. And spending the funds on renting a place in White Rock.
Of course I would like to drive.
It was said in front of mom, and I think she feels that I am not driving because of her. Not so. Again, I would rather spend any additional funds I would have, on mom. I will let her know tomorrow that nothing stops me from getting out their to see her. So I don't drive. Oh well. I can get where I need to go by bus.
Well, the story I am reading mom is getting interesting and both mom and I can't wait to see what happens next.
Mom was given her nightly medicine early, but, her eye's were wide open when I left.
Anyways. I need to go. Today, I almost fainted three times, I have been dizzy and I have no idea why. It felt like the floor was moving beneath me. I am going to lay down now.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
I have been in another situation with the PGT I wanting a juicer for mom, so she can get the proper amount of fresh vegetables. But I can't afford to purchase it. And mom only gets over cooked vegetables at the home she is in. But he is refusing to even write me back.
The last time we had a problem, he threatened to cut the weekly assistance for mom's drinks and snacks, plus other things and threatened to sue me. Well the PGT has already threatened me in the past. Hence the qualifier of For legal purposes this is my opinion.
I wanted a juicer for mom, a long time ago. but changed my mind. I thought the smoothies would be enough. But not so. She needs this.
So mom was tired and hungry. She ate allot tonight. We had to eat in her room, because are usual table was taken and we couldn't eat in the kitchen because it is used at 6 pm.
One of the staff asked me today if I would rather drive than take the bus. I didn't even answer her. Of course I would rather drive. But accidents put a stop to that and I can't afford to drive. Even if I could, I think I would rather spend that extra money I would spend on gas, insurance and maintenance on extra things for mom. And spending the funds on renting a place in White Rock.
Of course I would like to drive.
It was said in front of mom, and I think she feels that I am not driving because of her. Not so. Again, I would rather spend any additional funds I would have, on mom. I will let her know tomorrow that nothing stops me from getting out their to see her. So I don't drive. Oh well. I can get where I need to go by bus.
Well, the story I am reading mom is getting interesting and both mom and I can't wait to see what happens next.
Mom was given her nightly medicine early, but, her eye's were wide open when I left.
Anyways. I need to go. Today, I almost fainted three times, I have been dizzy and I have no idea why. It felt like the floor was moving beneath me. I am going to lay down now.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
Monday, March 3, 2014
To be or not being
Hello again
The last few days have been tiring. I have no idea why. It has been cold and wet, maybe that is why.
Mom has been OK, eating well and getting plenty of liquids. I brought her a nice sheet set and pillow cases. It goes great with the new pillows and sham. I have been staying latter, as I want to make sure mom is completely asleep and relaxed. I know when her hand is no longer gripping mine.
Mom falls asleep with a smile on her face. She looks so peaceful, it is great. When I get their mom has the huge smile on her face.
She has been telling me she is like a baby, having to feed her, whip her mouth and eye's. But I say, that I am here to look after you. And everything is OK. Mom loved this. This is what I want to do, and need to do. I believe and know this is my responsibility.
She is having trouble chewing certain foods, so I need to get a juicer for her. Mom needs more fresh vegetables in her diet. What they serve is not fresh and over cooked. A juicer would solve this problem. I am not going to replace her smoothies. That is different and separate. And I will always give mom her daily smoothie.
More people have been telling me that I will be blessed for doing what I am doing. I don't care about being blessed latter. It is now, I need the blessing. Not latter, because I won't be around after mom passes. I have nothing and no one. Mom is the only one I have in my life. I have no family or friends.
And all of the accidents I have been in have caused me to suffer from severe depression. I can't do any of the things I use to do. I am in pain all the time. And none of the doctors I see, seem to do anything about it. Which sucks!.
Well midnight and I need some sleep. Not getting much. I keep waking up every few hours.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
The last few days have been tiring. I have no idea why. It has been cold and wet, maybe that is why.
Mom has been OK, eating well and getting plenty of liquids. I brought her a nice sheet set and pillow cases. It goes great with the new pillows and sham. I have been staying latter, as I want to make sure mom is completely asleep and relaxed. I know when her hand is no longer gripping mine.
Mom falls asleep with a smile on her face. She looks so peaceful, it is great. When I get their mom has the huge smile on her face.
She has been telling me she is like a baby, having to feed her, whip her mouth and eye's. But I say, that I am here to look after you. And everything is OK. Mom loved this. This is what I want to do, and need to do. I believe and know this is my responsibility.
She is having trouble chewing certain foods, so I need to get a juicer for her. Mom needs more fresh vegetables in her diet. What they serve is not fresh and over cooked. A juicer would solve this problem. I am not going to replace her smoothies. That is different and separate. And I will always give mom her daily smoothie.
More people have been telling me that I will be blessed for doing what I am doing. I don't care about being blessed latter. It is now, I need the blessing. Not latter, because I won't be around after mom passes. I have nothing and no one. Mom is the only one I have in my life. I have no family or friends.
And all of the accidents I have been in have caused me to suffer from severe depression. I can't do any of the things I use to do. I am in pain all the time. And none of the doctors I see, seem to do anything about it. Which sucks!.
Well midnight and I need some sleep. Not getting much. I keep waking up every few hours.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Sunday, March 2, 2014
And if it is true
Hello again
So it is Saturday night and I am at home, well, where I live, anyways. I don't call it home. I don't feel comfortable here anymore and haven't in a very long time. Oh yea, alone.
It is a shame that this is the way it is, being alone and lonely is not fun. Yea I am out and surrounded by people all day long and occasionally I will have a conversation with someone. But I am still alone and lonely. It is very depressing. Hence, going back on anti depressants.
So it is snowing again. A late winter. It is OK. The snow makes everything look beautiful. I wish I could take mom out into this. It would be nice for her.
It is also cold and blowing.
I got their and mom was extremely tired tonight. And when I arrived, I took mom back to her room to give her, her drinks and get everything ready for dinner. And the smell was horrendous. The roommates grand daughter gave her a perm. It made me instantly ill. The smell permeated the halls and the room. I couldn't take it, so I complained. And it turns out, which I understand, Fraser Health is a fragrance free zone. And it was arranged that the perm was to given to her in the bathing room, not the bedroom. And it should not of even been done on the floor at all.
This is the lack of respect this family has for everyone. I have been saying this all along. They bring a screaming baby into the room at 8 pm and don't care that mom wants to sleep. They give her a perm when they weren't to do this.
So I had to open the window, in the middle of winter, just to air the room out a bit, before mom goes to bed. To make it bearable to even be in the room.
Mom was tired, which made her anxious. She wanted to go to bed, right away when I arrived. We put her to bed and tried to calm her down. Which I was successful at doing. And because it is Saturday, I am doing mom's laundry. Which is still drying. And I am tired as well. I am hungry, but just want to go to bed and watch something and relax.
Mom was not happy about the smell. And she should be.
This is the last straw. Total lack of respect.
Time to go check the dryer
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
So it is Saturday night and I am at home, well, where I live, anyways. I don't call it home. I don't feel comfortable here anymore and haven't in a very long time. Oh yea, alone.
It is a shame that this is the way it is, being alone and lonely is not fun. Yea I am out and surrounded by people all day long and occasionally I will have a conversation with someone. But I am still alone and lonely. It is very depressing. Hence, going back on anti depressants.
So it is snowing again. A late winter. It is OK. The snow makes everything look beautiful. I wish I could take mom out into this. It would be nice for her.
It is also cold and blowing.
I got their and mom was extremely tired tonight. And when I arrived, I took mom back to her room to give her, her drinks and get everything ready for dinner. And the smell was horrendous. The roommates grand daughter gave her a perm. It made me instantly ill. The smell permeated the halls and the room. I couldn't take it, so I complained. And it turns out, which I understand, Fraser Health is a fragrance free zone. And it was arranged that the perm was to given to her in the bathing room, not the bedroom. And it should not of even been done on the floor at all.
This is the lack of respect this family has for everyone. I have been saying this all along. They bring a screaming baby into the room at 8 pm and don't care that mom wants to sleep. They give her a perm when they weren't to do this.
So I had to open the window, in the middle of winter, just to air the room out a bit, before mom goes to bed. To make it bearable to even be in the room.
Mom was tired, which made her anxious. She wanted to go to bed, right away when I arrived. We put her to bed and tried to calm her down. Which I was successful at doing. And because it is Saturday, I am doing mom's laundry. Which is still drying. And I am tired as well. I am hungry, but just want to go to bed and watch something and relax.
Mom was not happy about the smell. And she should be.
This is the last straw. Total lack of respect.
Time to go check the dryer
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
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