I am really in need of............... anything

Hello again

It has been a few day since my last post. I have had to deal with the person living upstairs. She has been arrested 4 times in the last week, but we can't get rid of her. All the police can do is keep arresting her. That is it. Great isn't it.

So I spend 3 hours traveling home. And when I get here, I have things to do for mom, write, and just try to relax. I have not been able to get anything done in the last week.  Well only a few things each night. As the landlord is over, the police come and all are speaking with me.

This is hell. My roommate is moving at the end of this month. I have not been able to find a place in which I can afford. And I have to deal with this shit each and every night. But not tonight so far. Cross your fingers. pray to GOD.

Well the complaint office has only been able to receive one of the letters I sent to her. I use Open Office and they use word. I even changed the extension on it, and still nothing. So when I finish with this I am just going to copy and paste it in an email to her. I have been waiting until this office receives the letters before I give it to the manager. It has CC complaint office at the bottom of the letter. This way on Monday, I will be able to bring it with me and present it to the manager. Have a serious chat with her.

I am dealing with allot right now. This and trying to find a place and move. WoW!

Mom is becoming more and more agitated as a result of the roommate issue. Not wanting to be there anymore..

What I really need to do, is to start to look for a place so mom can have her own room. Since I am such a looser, that I can't afford to take care of her myself.

Besides being agitated, mom is in a good mood.

Excited to see me, and I her. Eating very well. Great appetite. Tonight she was served fish and chips. A special occasion. She ate two pieces of fish, chips. 7 layer dip and Crackers, an avocado, papaya, mango and her chocolate.  This was today.  I am so glad she eats so well.

And being Friday, I washed her hair and styled it. OK, you probable say so what. Well it is not as easy as just washing her hair, brushing her teeth. There is a process and a way that it needs to be done, to not get mom upset, or hurt her. When mom is impatient, she uses her good hand and fights. I need to wash her hair a certain way, to not get her all wet. Or to brush her teeth. I have to hold her right hand while I do this or I might end up with a black eye. And I need to be in the room when she is being changed so she doesn't fight with the staff. It also keeps her calm.

The staff have been coming in early to get mom into bed, so I haven't been reading to her. But tonight, while holding her hand, when she was falling asleep, I stood there and read to her. This I will continue to do for her.

I stayed really late tonight, just wanted to. Mom was completely asleep when I left.

It is suppose to be a nice day tomorrow. I am going to get their early and take mom out for a walk. It is about time I do this for her.

I am done. Very tired.

GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland

Is there!

Hello again

It there any help for dedicated caregivers who give up their lives to make sure their loved one's are well taken care of.

I think not.

Considering I have written dozens of papers and many leaders and not even one reply.

I do this and don't have a problem with doing anything and everything for mom. But it would be nice if I could get some help. Especially since I am disabled and in pain everyday, all day. And just want to move to be closer to mom, to do more for her and for myself, which in turn allows me to do more for mom. Just to eliminate the 6 hours a day of traveling, is beneficial to both of us.

I try and try and I guess I will keep trying to find some kind of help. Maybe I should make a sign and go stand in Vancouver at the Art Gallery. The sign should read. " Is there any help for caregivers, I think not!"

Maybe I will, once I find a place. And this unto it's self is freaking me out immensely. I have no idea what I am going to do. There is a place 2 blocks from mom's, but it is, again, just a little to much for me. I mean just out of my reach. It is ideal. Insuite washer and dryer, cable, Internet etc...... 2 blocks away. I wish, I wish, I wish.

Mom is doing fine today, but very tired. We know why. The complaint department finally received my letters, so I now, tomorrow, I need to print them out and bring to the manager, and speak with her about my next move.

And being this tired, mom is not that hungry. It takes an effort to get mom to eat, but I do. Even though it takes time. OK with me, I have lots of time when it comes to mom. However long it takes for her to eat, is how long it takes.

I know I do say the same things about what I do for mom. But there is more. The little things are what counts. And these things are very important to mom.

Just holding her hand. Then there is the many stops I make just to get her the things that make her happy. 6 different places today.

When the staff come in to change her and put her to bed, it is important that I be in the room, otherwise mom fights with the staff and when I am in there with them mom is calm, she holds my hand and doesn't take her eye's off of me.

Wiping her eye's of sleet, feeding her, wiping her mouth, to keep her clean. Giving her the nightly spa treatment. Massaging her feet each night to relax her. Allowing mom to help when she can. And she tries. Mom helps when I am getting her undressed for bed.

To be able to understand her, her facial expressions, each and every small one. I have been taking care of mom for a very long time now, and I am hopping it is going to be for a long time to come.

To make her healthy dinners each night. Mom has had a papaya and avocado every single night for many years now. They are extremely healthy for her. Plus knowing the exact dessert she likes.

These are but a few of the smaller things I do for mom each day. To make her life more enjoyable. I can never say this enough.

Mom relies on me to be their for her. And I rely on mom to be their for me. Mom is my life, and this is what I have such a problem with, when it comes to getting help. NO ONE CARES how much or how little I do for her. NO ONE CARES if I am homeless or not. If I have anything or not.

I don't have a problem with moving into an empty place. I have a chair. I can get an older TV (Tube TV) yes a tube TV. I have a bedroom suite. My bed is very old and worn out. I just need pots and pans and the other important kitchen items. As in knives, forks, spoons. Pots and pans etc.......

Closer to mom is all I want right now. This is something I need to do. And I can't afford to pay for this place myself.

Mom needs me now, more than ever.

GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland

Now I worry

Hello again


So I write that my roommate is moving out at the end of May, well, I found out today, it is the end of this month. He took a new place in this just built tower. Very expensive. So I find myself a little jealous and very worried. I don't have a place for the end of this month.

We rented this place together. It was, originally just rooms for rent. Then we took it over as a separate suite. A little cheaper. Now he is moving and everything in this place is his. So when he moves, this place will be empty, besides what I have in my room. Yes even the pots, pans and dishes, are his. I can afford my half the rent, but not the other half.

So homeless I become, at the end of April. And I have been freaking out all day long.

So mom enjoyed her baked pasta. And did not like what was served to her. Of course, I did not tell her about my problem. Not going to happen.

It was a normal day for mom. She is happy, besides the roommate situation. I am hoping to get into see the manager tomorrow, to give her the letters.

I got her ready for bed, as usual, and mom was chatting up a storm. I got most of it. I read more to her. Mom is really enjoying this story. I was looking for another book to read to her, when this is done. I have some ideas.

And the usual, spa treatment. I did stay much latter tonight. I just wanted to hold her hand, until I knew she was completely asleep.

I know mom is ill and will get worse as time goes on. But I can't worry about any of that now. I just need to  worry about the moment. Making sure each and every moment of mom's life is enjoyable and happy.

I decided to take care of mom and that is what I am going to keep doing. OK it would be nice to have extra money to purchase things. A pair of jeans, would be nice.

But mom needs me and the truth is I need her. She keeps me alive and going.

So I really do needs prayers now. Or anything that could help out. Remember, I have nothing. So whatever place I get I will only have a bedroom set.

Please pray.

GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland

I could be

Hello again

So the roommate is moving out by the end of May, so I need to find a place or I will be homeless. I can't afford this place, by myself. So the hunt is on. I looked at a place and it was a dump, but I could afford it. Thinking!

I am still dealing with the drunk upstairs. It is now harassment.

Anyways the roommates, of mom, was really heavy into the delusions, and very argumentative about all of it. Refusing to listen to anyone, calling the staff all the time. It was completely disturbing to mom and myself. The staff turned the lights out, and she turned them back on. That happened several times. They turned the TV off and guess what.

This is having a serious affect on mom. She is completely tired and not wanting to eat much.  It was bath day and mom was in bed having to listen to this nonsense all day long. I sent the letters to the complaint office. Now to bring them into the manager. But tomorrow I will be contacting Pivot legal society to make an appointment to see them.

I made mom a very good dinner tonight and she did eat most of it. It took time, but that is OK. I have lots of time to spend with mom. And it is my pleasure.

I did miss mom last night. It is when mom is this tired, I get worried and when I get worried, I start to get stressed and think that I am going to get that phone call in the middle of the night.

This has caused me to really get it together and write the crowd funding page to raise the funds I need to give mom the funeral she deserves and wants. To be buried with my dad. As mentioned in the past, my sisters had him cremated, against his wishes. And he could of been buried, free of charge, through the Veterans Affairs. I have to now wait, until the new bank information is confirmed through PayPal, to put the information up on the sight. When I do I will let y'all know the site and address.

Mom was tired, and very happy to see me.I feed her dinner, brushed her teeth and hair. Got her changed, since she was already in bed, gave her the nightly spa treatment. Then I read to her, while holding her hand, talking to her. The nurse came in and gave her, her medication. Which she had to wake mom up, to give this to her. After, I just stood there and held her hand for 45 minutes, watching CNN, about the missing plane, with subtitles. I know when mom is completely asleep, her hand relaxes. I sang our goodnight song and gave her kisses. The lights were out in the room when I left.

I got home late and am making mom her dinner for tomorrow. Baked pasta. And I am making muffins as well.

I hope she enjoys this. I am sure she will. I have to drop off a form before I get to mom's tomorrow. So I hope I can get their in time to speak with the manager. After this weekend, it has to change, NOW!

So I will leave you now.

GOD bless and good night.

Kris Schmuland