Not a good night

hello again

So last night I did not sleep. At all. I expected a phone call. But thank GOD it never happened.

But today, I arrived and mom was still speaking a mile a minute. I can understand her, when she slows down her speech.

She does not speak, as we do. Mostly she mumbles. But I can understand her. I am an expert at non verbal communication. And this pays off when speaking with mom. Mom and I talk, laugh and cry. I know she understands everything that is said.

But the hospital and staff don't think she understands anything. Or actually I don't even think they care. They just do as they wish.

They just think I know nothing about this disease of psychology. It is OK, I don't need to brag about anything. I have mentioned my education background to them. But they obviously didn't hear me. It is the doctor that is starting to see that I maybe know what I am talking about.

You know I really do not even care, what they or even my sister's think. As long as GOD and I know the truth. That is all that matters.

My mother needs a new environment.

So my fast starts now. As I don't even have enough funds to make mom dinners. So I don't eat. Mom needs things, and what money I have I need to get mom things.

As I have said over and over again. Mom is first and I last. Everything for mom is the only way I can live.

Mom is the only family I have left. I don't count my sisters as family. They do nothing for mom. And neither do any other members of the family. So mom is the only one left. And when she goes, so do I.

Mom still has the feeling of giving up. I can see it in her eye's. Again I don't blame her one bit.

It is getting ridiculous at how long it is taking for mom to be released.

And the PGT is still being the pain, that they are always. They don't keep their word or even care, that they are abusing my mother and myself. Especially mom.

I can't do the things I need to do for mom, with the traveling that I do. And the PGT knows this and this is the way they are dealing with it. By not keeping their word.

Mom deserves the best.

You know it still upsets me greatly, that a dog, got $18,000.00 in donations and I can't even get $1.00 from anyone. Or even any help at all. All I get is nonsense from all involved.

It is late and I do need sleep. I am still on guard, as I don't know, if tonight is the night I get the call.

So GOD bless and good night

Kris

Not a good day/night

Hello again

Tonight is not going to be a night with allot of sleep. I am not sure if I will get a call from the hospital telling me mom has passed away.

Mom is not happy and told me she wanted to be with dad. And is tired of this nonsense, tired of being in this place and not being moved like we have been told.

Right after I arrived, I noticed mom was drugged again, and was really stoned. But my mood quickly changed and it became a cry fest. I was listening to mom tell me, that she wanted to walk, and not be stuck in the wheelchair.

Mom was pointing at the family photo and wanting all of us to get together for her. Mom was telling me if she goes I can get better clothing. Rather than spending the money on clothing and shoes for her. I have only a few articles of clothing left.

But I told her, I don't care about cloths. I only care about mom and being their for her. If mom goes I would be following her shortly. I am only here to help her, be their for her. And do everything I can for her.

I don't care if I eat or dress well. You see mom is use to me dressing well. This is how she raised me to look my best at all times. But mom only sees me in bum clothing. It is all  I have and I don't care if I am dressed in rags. As long as I can make sure mom's life is full and wonderful.

Nothing matters to me, but looking after mom. Nothing at all. I will walk to see her if I have too.

I am upset that I am such a looser, that I don't have a car to take her to the ocean, to see her friends. Mrs Elliott, especially. I begged her forgiveness for this.

Mom was telling me it is time for her to go. To be with dad, as she can't take this life anymore. What life is what she said. Just being locked down, and not even able to move about the place. Being stuck in a corner, facing the wall, the bathroom. The lights are to bright for her. They hurt her eyes. This is due to the drugs she is being forced to take.

Mom is not doing well. She wants to move, and move now. She does not want to be anywhere near this staff anymore. I don't blame her.

The nurse who made this defamatory statement against me, keeps looking at me and watching me. This is defiantly harassment.

I feel that the staff are abusing her. Actually I know they are. Mom wants to be in bed at 7 pm and she has to wait until the staff decides to take her to the washroom. Usually one hour. On average. Mom is always dehydrated. She is drinking a bottle of water everyday, plus her juice and some of the coke.

Mom looks around her room, and it is a bare and uncomfortable place. Not like the room I made for her, when she was in Abbostford. I bought her a new bedroom suite, I bought prints for her wall, of local artists, numbered and signed prints. I had them framed to match each other. 4 of them. And all new bedroom furniture. A nice little stereo.

And guess what, it all disappeared. Just vanished. Like everything else. her clothing and jewelry. I want to make her a beautiful room.

But I can't do this while she is locked up. Against her will. Mom needs to be in a better place. And that place is death. This is what mom is thinking. This is what mom thinks is the best place for her. To be with dad.

I don't blame her. I am a looser, but I am free to come and go as I like. Mom can't even get outside. Well this is my fault. I could get their earlier and take her outside for a walk. And to explore, get fresh air. I will have to do this.

I am a recovering or recovered alcoholic. 11 years now. And all I have wanted to do for other's. To be their for mom, as I was for my father, before he passed away from this disease. And I was their to help mom with my grandfather, while he was living with mom and dad. Yes I moved home to do this. As I was recently divorced and I needed a place to live,. Well not so recently divorced. A drunk and could not afford to even pay my own bills. Even though I am an educated man. I was not doing anything with it. I was just a drunk and pot head.

No more. And I have traveled my city, to be their for my parents.

I don't want mom to give up. Life is to precious for her to just give up. There is so much I want to do for mom. I want her to see so many things.

This is why I have to get a car. Move to White Rock. Get mom out for days and overnight. A two bedroom place. To get furniture.

To just be their and do everything for mom as I can. I ask for help from everyone. And I don't get any help at all. I will continue to do what I can, but I really need help.

I just get by, OK  I don't get by. I have nothing left over after paying the rent. Ok I do get help from the PGT with the bus pass every month. This is my mother's money. And I feel guilty each and every time I get on the bus. Without it, I could not get their. Ok I lie, I could get their some how. As I walked and hitched hiked and whatever else I did to get to see mom and dad in Mission. Where their is no public transit.

You see when I was a drunk, I didn't care about anyone else except me and getting drunk and high. I only smoked pot. But this was bad enough.

I am very glad I quit. This is the second time I quit. My twenties were straight and my thirties I was a mess and then now, straight. I smoke though, and I really want to quit.

I am so upset right now. I won't be sleeping tonight. I don't want to get a phone call telling me mom is gone. Mom really doesn't want to be their and is willing to just let go. And move on. By moving on, I mean. You know what.

I have been balling my face off while writing this. And I don't even know what I have been writing. I just know that it is selfish, but I don't want mom to go yet. As if she does, my life is over. I have nothing left. Besides being their for my mother I have nothing. If mom goes I have nothing left to live for.

O hell I will just dust myself off when mom goes. I have nothing left to live for and do . My whole life is being their for mom.

I don't know what to do. I tried to calm her down. I think I did, but I could see in her face, she was just saying things to make me feel better.

It has not been a good few days, or weeks now. I see and feel mom is giving up. And their is no one to help me, no one to help me get a car, or move to White Rock, or get furniture to have mom  move in with me.

I don't want mom to die in a hospital. As dad did. Especially this one.

I am going now

GOD bless and good night.

Kris

I am pissed off

Hello again

Today, in my province of BC Canada. There was a story of a dog that was shot, defending it's home. Now the people of BC donated over $18,000.00 to the vet bills.

I am glad the dog is OK., But come on now. I am jealous, yes. I ask for help all the time and I don't even get a single penny from anyone. I can't even get someone to talk too.

I need to move to White Rock and that kind of cash would come in very handy.

I could move to White Rock and get a place and furnish it.

I could get a car, to take mom out and around.

I could register my organization, federally and provincially.

I could pay for web hosting for many years.

I could actually eat.

I could finish the web site

I could write reprensentaion agreements for people to stop the kind of abuse my mother and other's go through.

I could, well do so much.

But a dog gets help and I, who do so much for my mother. Without asking for much. And will no matter what happens, continue to see mom and be her advocate and just be their for her.

I decided to do this for mom. As she only has a few years left. And today, mom wanted to give up.

She is suppose to be moved by now. Other's are gone, but not mom. She is being held hostage by Oceanside.

Mom does not want to be their. She is tired of this staff. This is told me today. I cried when she said she wanted to give up. She cannot tell them, she wants out.

Well it does not matter anyways. They don't and won't listen. As it is, mom waits and waits to get taken to the bathroom, after her spa treatment. An hour on average. The staff know when I am done with the spa treatment. But abuse, abuse, abuse. is all they know. This is obvious. The place is quit and nobody is around and mom waits and waits.

Mom likes to be in bed by 7 pm, not 8 pm. The staff know, I live in Coquitlam, and take the bus to see her They do this anyways. Knowing full well it will be very late when I get home at night.

Just Bull Shit. I say. Excuse me.

And if I say anything, they claim I have threatened them. As it is they are refusing to give me a copy of the incident report. With the employee's name and work number on it. And what it is that I said that was a threat.

Suspect, isn't it. Yet I get threatened that they will stop me from seeing mom.

First lets see the report on what it is that I said. Don't be making threats. I will go to the police or the media. If I have to. If anymore threats are made.

I know if I were a women none of this would have taken place. But I am a man, and they think I am dangerous.

I am the opposite. I take care of my mother. I am their for her no matter what.

Yet the PGT, are liers and thieves. IN MY OPINION  They say one thing and do another. As it is turning out to be the same way with the hospital. Just as it was at Riverview. They make up stories about mom and then she has to stay longer. As she is not well enough. This is why mom is in White Rock. And not Coquitlam.

Now. Back to the dog. The dog gets help from everyone. And I don't even get a hope your OK email. Or, here is something for you. I hope it helps you get to move to White Rock.

$18,000.00 is disgusting. And others get nothing.

I will continue to be their for mom. As always and I will love every minute of it. I love spending time with mom. And will always be their for her. No matter what. I will fight for her rights. And do what ever is necessary to make sure mom is treated well.

GOD bless and good night.

Kris

So here we are

Hello again

Today has been an interesting day. First I was not able to make it to my mother's dental appointment, Thanks to the PGT.

And on top of that my web site has been suspended due to the fact I don't have the $22.00 to pay for the next month. And I don't have the $50.00 deposit for the company phone number. As well as the cost of the phones themselves.

And my cell phone bill is due. And, Oh well, if GOD wants the web site up and running, HE will provide the funds for this.

I am only concerned about buying a burial plot for mom, where her parents are buried. This is what mom wants and this is what mom will get.

I have, again, opened up a bank account for this purpose and am asking if anyone is willing to donate to this fund. As my sisters, and their greed, will just cremated mom. As they did with my father. Who was entitled to a free veterans funeral. But my brother in law, thinks he knows everything. Oh yea it was him who screwed my parents out of a small fortune. Talked my sister into stealing the money from my parents.

Again, if it were not for my sister's greed. Mom would have a small fortune at her disposal. And not have to be, stuck in this abusive environment. She could be living the good life. And do you think they even care enough to even fight for my mother's rights. Not at all. They simply go along with whatever the hospital say is good for mom.

I suspect that it is due to my sister's just wanting my mother to die. So they can get their greedy hands on what is left of mom's estate.

Little do they know, that by the time the PGT gets through with mom's money. Mom will be broke.

THIS IS WHAT THE PGT DOES. THEY TAKE ALL OF THE MONEY FROM THEIR CLIENTS, AND THEN THEY KICK THEM TO THE CURB.

Trust me I know. I have dealt with them for over 8 years now. And have researched everything about them. And their practices and mandate. Which reads like a fictional story. We are here to stop abuse and help those who can not help themselves.

Which really means, " we are here to take everything we can from our clients and leave them broke. And to not do our job. As in to protect their clients from abusive environments. And to make sure their clients are well looked after."

If anyone follows my blog can attest too. By the PGT taking a van away from me, giving it to my older sister for a song. And with the promise that my older sister will take my mother out and do things with her. But this never happened, Instead, the PGT hired a companion service and paid them very well. $25.00 hour. And for 6 or 7 days a week. And for over 2 years. Do the math. This was not needed. I had a van, I told the PGT I would take my mother everywhere she needed to go and everywhere else.

But was not good enough. The PGT told me that they do not pay children to do this. Well, I never wanted to be paid. I took over the role as caregiver willingly, and freely. I wanted to do this. And this is why I still do this. Travel all over the place to be there for her. And I work as an advocate for her as well.

No one else is going to do this. I will. And I do. Without a second thought.

Get a job is what everyone tells me. I would, if I had a car, so my travel is cut down to 1/2 hours their and the same back. And to live in White Rock, to be close by. In case anything happens. As in being able to be their for mom's dental appointments.

I didn't have the funds to even get their. But I got their tonight. Something worked out.

So today, I was full of electricity. You know those glass lightening balls. Where you touch it and all your hair stands up. Well today that was me. I would run my hand over my head and all my hair just stood up. I still feel like I can shoot a spark of lightening across the room.

We full of electricity by nature. And we conduct it all the time. I have learned the art of conducting it, when needed. This is why I cant wear a watch. I drain the batteries. I conduct electricity very well.

So now you think I am even more of a nut than you did before. OK then, that is alright.

Now the PGT has to live up to its promises and do what we spoke about last fall. And get me to White Rock. Help with a car and furniture for a place that I can bring mom over for dinners and nights and or weekends.

It is 1:33 am and I need to get to sleep.

GOD bless and good night.

Kris

Remember I need all the help I can get, Financially, spiritually.




GOD HEALED HER TODAY

I am not sure

Hello again

So today I have opened up a bank account for funds for my mother's funeral. It is a disgusting thing to even open up an account for this.

Why! I tell you why.

Because my sister's have taken my parents for over a half million dollars. $500,000.00 dollars in cash and assets.

Both of them, took everything from the sale of the house. Which my sister and brother in law conned my parents into selling the house, on the basis' that they would take care of them. Yea right. They bought a house that was suited just for them, and left my parents in the basement. With no kitchen or even closets in the bedroom. And then they had the nerve to say to my parents that they will put a kitchen in, if they pay for it.

Not only did my parents pay for the house. That is because my sister and brother in law, had 4 or 5 mortgages on their old house and could not even stay. They could not even afford the mortgage. So lets rip off the parents for even more money.

Now their is nothing left to take they don't even spend time with mom. They screwed my father over for a veterans funeral. And cremated him. And now, they have taken mom's jewelry, the gold watch I bought mom,, and the white gold chain and cross I bought her. And clothing after clothing.

Then my younger sisters stored my parents photo's in a leaky shed and ruined them. Well almost ruined them.

And the PGT has the photo's and refuse to release them to me, so I can restore them. After all I am the only one in the family who has the ability to do this. Having had a computer since they were first released to the public. A very long time ago. I think my first computer was bought in 1985, and on from there.

Yes I had a computer that required the large disks to store information on. And to use any program, I had to keep swapping disks. And a dot matrix printer.

And we have the PGT who is taking the rest of my mother's money. legally embezzling the funds. IN MY OPINION.

Everyone tells me to get a job. Well I travel 7 or more hours a day to see mom. And I am her caregiver and advocate. I get home and write this blog and then I am returning emails. And writing emails to where ever and who ever I might get help from.

As it is, I had to open an account so I can save or beg for money to bury my mother. As there won't be any funds left after the PGT has their way.

Everyone of the family members think I am a problem and a user. I using my mother.  My parents offered me help with a down payment for a house many, many times.  But each and every time I said no. And then added, that if I can't get it on my own, I won't be getting a house.

That is not to say, that GOD does not want me to have one and will help me get one. Especially since all I want to do is take care of mom full time. Mom needs to be in an actual house, with a yard and her own room, just for her. No one else around to bother her. Well except me, of course. I can be a pain in the ass at times. Only when someone, messes with my mother. I will be and have been a very large pain in the butt.

But I believe that GOD wants me to have a home, a car, furniture, decent clothing for both my mother and myself. HE wants mom to be buried near her parents. And this is why the bank account.

I ask if anyone wants to donate to my mother's burial fund. It would be appreciated. Very much.

Now I want to say this before I say good night. About the staff at Oceanside. I don't dislike all of them. Just most of them. I actually like some of them. And to be honest. I have a crush on one of them. But that is where it will stop, a crush. I just like her look.

Now I do have a problem with everything about what they consider treatment. Oh yea, that's right nobody gets treatment. They get drugged.

Now I am going to go on a fast for mom and GOD. It is not like I am eating anyways. Tonight I ran into a few people I have not seen in a while. They say I lost weight and what is the trick to doing this. I was honest with them and told them it was the starvation diet. And there is no thinking involved. You just don't eat, because you have nothing.  And since my stomach is ruined, I can't even eat anything anyways. Nothing taste good at all. Zero taste.

Yes I like nuts. This is what I love to eat on a regular basis's

I have to go, as I have to get up and be out of the house and on the bus for 10:30 am to be in White Rock for 1 pm. Mom has to go to the dentist. I asked the PGT for funds so I can get mom something to eat, that she can eat after seeing the dentist and their response was. NO!

I am going now.

GOD bless and good night

Kris

Mom is still very thirsty all the time

Well, once again, I arrive to see mom and she has mung mouth again, meaning she has not had anything to drink in a very long time.

THIS IS ABUSE, TO DENY SOMEONE, SOMETHING TO DRINK.


How long does mom have to sit, without having a drink. Or being cleaned up from lunch. Or even taken to the washroom.

Now I say mom needs to go to the washroom, and I know this. And they tell me they took her to the washroom before dinner. Which is just crap. As mom still has her lunch on her face.

Go figure, What is what. This happens on a regular basis'.

And mom is still at Oceanside. She should of been moved by now.

Mom and I have had enough of this staff and it is time to change. And change now. As it is starting to feel like mom is being held hostage. Again

So no word on if I should continue with the web site.

I turn everything over to GOD and I will like HIM take care of the PGT and the staff.

So mom was very happy to see me today and I her. But once again we waited.

I still do not have a copy of the incident report and I have heard nothing from the director either.

Sounds a little funny to me. They tell me I threatened a staff member. And then they threaten me, with not being able to see my mother. Yet they refuse to let me have a copy of the report stating exactly what was said. Their side of it.

I already sent my side of the story to them. Funny isn't it.


It is now 1 am and I really need to get some sleep. Even though I have several emails to write.

GOD bless and good night


Kris