Waiting

Hello again

I am waiting for something to happen.

Tonight I spoke with the manager about the nightgowns, again. Letting her know, that they are riped to almost the same place that I had to sew from. I said I now have to spend another 2 hours sewing them again. I mean, come on. These people should be fired. Period.

They are abusing mom's property. This is over $100. worth of clothing and it will be 5 hours of my time sewing the nightgowns. I have no sewing machine. Remember I mentioned that mom taught me how to sew. Telling me that this skill will come in handy one day. Especially if you are a bachelor. Did mom know something I didn't know at that young age. That I would be a divorced bachelor when I hit this age. Interesting, when you think about it.

I know there is Psychic abilities in this family. On my mothers side, and I know I have a gift or two or three.

I was rambling there for a moment. The manager informed me, in a nice way, that there is a process, an investigation and this process has already begun.

Of course it was the usual with mom. I arrived and immediately give her drinks. She is always so thirsty when I get their. She drinks allot. Do they ever give mom something to drink in the afternoon. I don't think so.

We got everything we needed for dinner, out of her room. And off we went. I don't know, but mom is sure hungry as of late. Almost eating everything in site. Plus. When I thought we finished dinner, mom wanted more. There was nothing left, but we had cookies in her bedroom. Which I told I would give them to her as soon as we finished washing her hair.

It was interesting washing her hair tonight. I was singing and mom was smiling away. I asked her if she wanted me to sing what I was doing. Sing everything I was doing and going to do. OK, I said. I did it. It is harder than I thought to sing everything you do. Good sound thought in the bath room.

My voice was and is a little worse for wear now.

So off to the bedroom we go, I get her changed. Oh yea, while I was changing her, I was feeding her the cookies. Afterwards I started to read to her. Need to finish the book.

Well while I was reading to her, the roommate was sighing. Yes she would let out a big sigh, while reading to mom. I and you all know that this meant she was annoyed that I was reading to mom. I guess we were disturbing her reading.

I almost told her that she can read, and mom can't and mom loves it when I read to her. I put a blanket on her, hold her hand and read to her.

To damn bad, for the roommate. As it is she has her bed almost in the middle of the room, most of the lights are on. and mom just wants to sleep. And she is almost like the other roommate. I knew it from the start what type of person she was. Remember the gifts I have.

Read people instantly.

I will not be put off by this women. In fact I will emphasize the parts as I am reading. I have been trying to read quietly. Not anymore. We don't have any privacy. None at all.

I think it is time to find a better place for mom. One in which she has her own room.

The only problem with this is that allot of seniors don't do the moving thing to well. I know mom wants her own room. So I am not sure what to do. This is why it hasn't happened already. I don't want mom to get sick because she has been moved. And I think you know what I mean by getting sick.

OK enough about that.

I finished reading to her when the care aid came in. After I came back. Mom was ready for the spa treatment and sleep. By the time I finished the spa treatment, mom was almost asleep. It didn't take long afterwards for mom to be out cold. Even though she was asleep, she knew our song and the kisses that came afterwards. Still asleep. It is a beautiful thing. The trust mom has for me.

GOD bless and good night.

Kristopher Schmuland

I complain allot don't I

Need prayers, need to move.

Hello again

I thought I wrote last night, but I guess I didn't. To many things on my mind. Maybe not. I don't know.

So the last two days have been OK. I have been getting out to mom's earlier. Spend a little more time with her.

I was to look at a place, but I am a smoker, an outside smoker. the landlord phoned me today and said the owner doesn't want me in there..

I don't smoke inside. I actually don't like the smell. Crazy isn't it, being a smoker. But I just don't smoke in the house and have been that way for a very long time. It is OK though, I found out that the owner is religious and doesn't allow people to do laundry on Sunday's. Really. Laundry is included. It is GOD's day. That is what they say. I could go on and on about this but I won't.

Mom is fine, she has gotten use to the time change. Although, when it is dinner time, mom is very hungry and is eating all of what I bring and the served dinner. Again, I have no idea where she puts it. I don't even eat that much in a single day, let alone in one meal. Well, I can't afford to eat three times a day. So it is once a day, when I get home at night, Is when I eat, if I have anything.

So the new roommate is turning out to be like the one that I had mom moved out of. In bed, no privacy for mom and I. She has her bed almost in the middle of the room. If she  has people over, I can't even get mom into her area. I will bringing this up with the manager.

Speaking of the manager. She has the receipts I gave her and I emailed a photo of the cost of the nightgowns. Regular price, not sale price. Which I paid.

I mentioned that it took me an hour to sew each nightgown. Well I have to sew them again. I just don't know what there problem is. I complain to the manager and nothing. This is why I go above everyone's head. Right to the top. And this is what I am going to do again. I am tired of having to continually sew them up. If  and when I do file a complaint, I am going after their job. They have caused to much crap for them to continue to work their. This is what I am going to be letting the manager know.

I am done being nice, once again. Never, never go to the manager first. Even if they say they would like to deal with it in house.

Like the receipts. It has been four days now, since I left them with her to photocopy. I want to be paid for my time as well as for the clothing and what it cost me to have them altered.

Anyways, yesterday was the day I wash moms hair. She was right into it. Ready and enjoyed it. She was moving to the music. I always try to style it differently each time I wash it.

Mom has been bending her legs more and more this week. Is more talkative. Clearer than usual. All good things.

She is really healthy. As happy as she can be. And I know mom waits for me to come. I can see her looking when I arrive. When she see's me, mom reaches her hand out towards me.

Than after dinner it is the usual spa treatment.

I was able to read to her more this evening. We are getting closer to finishing the book. We both look forward to watching the movie as well. We will make an afternoon out of it. As I mentioned, maybe even watching it on the large TV with everyone else.

So  I ask again for your prayers on helping me find a place.

Need to go.

GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland

A nice day , not like yesterday

Hello again

Beautiful and warm day. Didn't even need to wear my jacket. Had it with me though. In Vancouver you never know from one part of the lowermainland to the next, what the weather will be like. Sunny in White Rock, rain in Coquitlam.

I think it might be time to change the look of my Blog. I just don't have the time to set it up properly. I am traveling most of the time. I don't even have the time to compose a web site.

Well mom is doing well today. Feeling better. Not so tired. She is getting use to the time change. I brought the meal for her.

Normally on Tuesday's we eat in her room. As the table we usually eat at is being used by her ex roommate. But with the new roommate, who is in bed most of the time. Not a good match for mom. We couldn't eat in there. So I decided we would go down to the family room in the basement.

I don't think mom has been down there. Maybe once. Shame on me. Really,shame on me. I even am feeling guilty about this. I get their and all we have time to do is give mom something to drink and get everything ready for dinner.

I think we might be doing this more often. An electric fire place, A private dinning room. Mom really enjoyed this.

I did the dishes in the kitchen, right there.

I got mom changed. When done I was able to read to her this evening. And then it was the spa treatment. By the time this was done, mom was ready to sleep. She grabbed my hand and went to sleep.

I am not sure what to do about this insurance case. If I settle now, I can move out their right away. Yet I know if I wait and hire a lawyer I would get more. Then I would have to pay the lawyer 30% plus, plus and plus.

I really need to move. So I will be making a proposal to them.

GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland

Buckets or rain

Hello again

As it is in the title, it was a typical Raincouver day. Fall is defiantly here. I decided to wear these boat shoes. They have been protected, but my feet were a little wet when I got home. Won't make that mistake tomorrow.  Watch, I will wear my boots and it will be sunny Just the way it is.

Mom had her hair done today, and it looks nice. She was a little more awake today. Still her bodies internal clock has not caught up yet. It will take a few days to get use to it. But still, she is hungry at 4 pm, and has to wait for a full hour to eat.  I guess I should get their earlier.

Big smile when she saw me. Hugs and kisses is what she wanted today, right away. And she grabbed my hand right after and didn't want to let go. I could barely get to use both hands to feed her and get things done. It is OK. Mom missed me. She is alone. Because of her condition, no one speaks with her. I do, she looked at me this evening, thinking does my son every shut up. I just talked and talked to her tonight.

I have to interrupt this for a moment and say that it has been many, many years since I have actually had a sit down, coffee talk with someone.

So because she was to tired last night, mom was very hungry tonight.

I wrote last night that I will not be able to bring mom dinners for a few days, as I have nothing. As it turned out. I brought some empties, from the upstairs people in today. Made enough to get mom two burgers from McDonald's Then I use points and got some ground beef. Made meatballs tonight, and it will go with lemon pepper, buttered pasta. Had enough left over, after the burgers to get pasta.

So my fears were unfounded. Or should I say GOD provided for me to make mom dinners, so I wouldn't miss a day of providing  her with dinners.

Thank you GOD much appreciate it.

And I get to eat as well.

By the time I got the dishes done, mom was already drifting off to sleep. While I was changing her, she was just so relaxed, it was easy to change her.

I always speak to her and tell her what I am doing at each step of the way, while changing her.  Getting mom to relax at each step. It is a process.

The staff was right there so as soon as I finished getting mom changed, off to bed she went. And when I came back, mom was mostly asleep. Because of this, I hurried to finish her spa treatment. I was even able to exercise her legs. But quickly did everything. This way I had more time to hold mom's hand until I knew she was fast asleep. I know this because her hand is completely relaxed and she lets go of my hand.

At this point I sang our good night song to her and gave her the nightly kisses. One on each cheek and one on her forehead. Then I kiss her hands. Yes this is the routine and this is what mom expects. So this is what takes place.

Off home I go and it was just pouring rain. Again a typical Raincouver fall day.

Need to go, thanks allot.

GOD bless and good night

Kristopher Schmuland.

Time change

Hello again

I am not sure if the rest of the world does the time change thing as we do in North America. It is a pain. Everyone's bodies internal clock is thrown out of whack for a few days. It is especially hard on our Seniors who rely on a fixed schedule. their bodies clock is use to eating at a certain time. Dinner at 5 pm. Well it is now 4 when they are expecting dinner. This is what their bodies tell them. Today they had to wait an hour. Which, as of yesterday was 6 pm.

This hold very true for mom today. When I arrived she was already getting tired. Having not eaten dinner when her body was telling her it was dinner. And by 6 pm  which is 5 pm today, mom is getting tired and is ready to be changed and put to bed.  So when I arrived mom was not interested in dinner. I gave her the drinks as usual, got everything together for dinner and went out to our spot.

I gave mom a bite to eat and she just chewed it for 15 minutes. Yes she just chewed and chewed and chewed. This is how she is when she is very tired. I brought her a nice dinner, but was to hard to chew tonight. It wouldn't of been most nights. But tonight it was.  She did eat the served dinner. All minced, easy to swallow.

I should be saying that, mom chews an chews, but doesn't swallow. She doesn't have a problem with swallowing, she has no problem drinking, so she can swallow. Mom is just very tired. She ate what she could and I got dessert ready. This was the same. Though she loves her papaya, to tired to chew and swallow. But she did eat the papaya. It just took time. And we have plenty of time.. I don't rush her, I just talk to her.

She wasn't even interested in talking. All mom wanted was to go to bed and hold my hand. That was it. I got her changed and ready for bed. The staff member was late, so I was about to put her to bed myself when the staff member came in. I was going to put her to bed and change her diaper. I have done this many times and mom has not problem with me doing this.

Because mom was so tired, I just washed her face and neck tonight. That is the only part of the spa treatment that I did. I told her I wasn't going to fuss with her to much tonight. Just relax mom and go to sleep. I will be standing right here beside you holding your hand. She just smiled.

I was about to leave, as mom was completely asleep, when the nurse came into give mom her nightly medicine. In other words she woke mom up to give her medicine to help her sleep. Yes that is what I said and that is the medicine they give her at night.

Now mom was awake and not to impressed. I needed to unpack to give mom something to drink, to wash the taste away. Then I needed to reapply the lotion to her face. Needless to say, mom was even less impressed. It was OK though. She got to hear our good night song twice and get twice the good night kisses. This she smiled at.

The the one problem I am having is that I won't be able to bring mom a home cooked meal for the next few days. I have nothing. Nothing in my fridge, nothing in my freezer. I am eating cereal. I have not yet missed bringing mom a home cooked meal in the last six years. No once. Bad times. I feel even less of a good son and very guilty.

What is going to happen tomorrow, when I show up and mom is expecting something. Today was a right off because of the day light savings time change. One hour back. When we have to sit there and wait for someone to bring the served meal. And they aways ask what I made for dinner for mom tonight. I don't care if they ask or not. I care that this will be the first time in six years.

I have been going to visit and take care of mom,everyday, for a very long time. Everyday. And I have always brought her a meal. Even if I have nothing. I make sure mom gets her daily meal. This is all I have for her. Besides my time. Which I am thankful that I can give to her. I thank GOD for this.

It is only by the grace of GOD that I am able to be their everyday. Most nights I don't even think I can make it through the night. But each morning I get up and cook mom something and off I go. 3-4 hours. It is a miracle, this is what I think. Most people can't even imagine doing this. They don't know how I can keep doing it.

I love my mother and I want to be their. I don't even know how I manage it. What with the pain I am in, the depression I deal with. Not being able to use my right arm as I use to do, before this accident. And dealing with everything associated with ICBC and the PGT. It is not easy dealing with these government crown corporations.

But by the grace of GOD I do it. And love every minute of my time spent with mom. I look forward to the next day, and I miss here when I am gone. She is my salvation. My restoration of my soul.

I don't care what other's think of me, or what I think of myself. I do know one thing and that is I am a good person.

I am lucky to be able to be their for my mother. I am lucky to be able to take care of her.

GOD bless and good night

Kristopher Schmuland

Bath day

Hello again

So bath day for mom. Meaning that she is put back to bed after they have given her a bath. And cover her up. So by the time I arrive, mom is extremely hot and thirsty. And the first thing I have to do, and mom is anxious for me to give her something to drink.

This I do in a hurry. This is not just on bath day, but everyday. It seems that mom is not given enough to drink during the day.

Anyways, mom is was very happy to see me. Reached out her hand and squeezed my hand tightly. I enjoy this.

Well, after I finished giving mom something to drink, she was very hungry and wanted her dinner, now. I am not quick enough, sometimes for her. I do my best though. So off I went and warmed her dinner up, grab her served dinner, and returned to her room.

I made a new smoothie this morning, and I put it in the freezer. So when I get it to mom it has that nice icy texture to it. And this is the way mom likes it. Though the next day it is know where near the same. The fridge is not cold enough.

I thought of calling the home and getting the staff to put mom's smoothie into the freezer at 3 pm. I changed my mind as they can't even put mom's nightgowns in the laundry basket. So do you really think they would even be able to do this. Not likely.

Mom ate very quickly this evening. It may of just seemed that way to me. I think it has to do with mom already being in bed. So I brushed her teeth and started her spa treatment. So by the time the staff came in, I was almost finished her spa treatment. I just had to do her face and neck. And finished everything early.

Well mom and I just watched a bit of TV. I read more of her book to her. Almost finished it. Then the movie. The life of Pi. I am going to try to find the next book, which also has a movie made out of it. Read the book, watch the movie,. Good for mom. She will know what is happening.

Well I need to give the manager the receipts for the nightgowns. The staff ripped them. It took me an hour to sew each one by hand. That is right. I stitched it very tight. To strengthen it. Remember I have a bad right arm. And on top of taking an hour per nightgown, it hurt like crazy. But needed to be done.

I am not only seeking for the home to give me what the cost of the nightgowns plus the alteration, and payment for my time, as well.

And the insurance company have said they will pay for the full amount of physiotherapy. I will see when I phone them and tell the physiotherapist to verify this. By then they might change there mind again.

They low balled me with an offer. Not even taking into account the loss of use of my right arm. It is not completely useless. I can still use it, but painfully. The arm shakes most of the time. I drop thing all the time. Basically, I try not to use my right arm. I am becoming left handed. No choice. I do  most everything with my left hand and arm.

Mom is bending her legs more and more each day. Soon she will be able to bend them completely. At that point I will continue to exercise her legs, but I will start on her left hand. Mom's left hand is locked in a fist. I can bed her fingers, but it really hurts her. So I will do this very slowly.

Her left hand needs to be done. I don't even think they clean her palm. I try to do this as often as I can. I don't want an infection to develop. I know it smells badly. This is when I don't have a choice but to clean her palm. I know it hurts her. I tell mom it has to be done and I am sorry. I try to open her very carefully. And I don't open it all the way. Just enough to get a cloth in her hand and wash and dry it.

I do put a rolled up cloth in her hand to try to get her hand to open up. It does not seem to work. If I take the cloth out, her hand tightens up again.

I think it is time to go. I am very tired and hungry. I won't be eating tonight. Just want  to watch something.

GOD bless and good night

Kristopher Schmuland.