Hello again
Who is the hypocrite, That would be me.
I try to live by the rule "Ye who is without sin, let them cast the first stone"
Well I rag on and on about my sister's and their taking thousands and thousands. I mean hundred of thousands of dollars from my parents. And I have had my hand in the cookie jar as well. Not to that extent, but none the less, I have taken money from my parents before.
And as a matter of fact, my bus pass every month comes from my mother's money. And my excuse is I use it everyday to go to see mom. And yesterday was the first day that I have missed seeing mom, in White Rock, since mom was transferred their in October.
I get money to buy mom her needs from her funds. And, yes I do sometimes spend some of the funds on myself. Which I feel really guilty about lately.
And how dare I expect my mother to pay for my clothing and dress clothes and shoes to go for these job interviews.
I am a not so nice person. Well actually I am not a nice person for doing this and expecting my mother's funds to pay for clothing for these job interviews.
My biggest problem is the fact that the PGT made promises and if kept, I would already be in White Rock. And if they did keep their promise, it would be my mother's money that would of been used to get me their. The $10,000.00 that they promised me.
I am glad I did not receive it. But I am not glad that I am still in Coquitlam. Which is the farthest place I should be from mom. I should be right their. Within a 10 minute walk at the most.
And I am thinking myself a complete looser for even taking the money for the bus pass. If I didn't I would not be able to go. And, again, I do go and I am their for her. Every night. I give her a spa treatment nightly. And do her nails.
Tonight mom was lucid. Beginning to speak clearly again. Stop the drugs and mom speaks as we do. Mom gets better. I don't know how much better though. But better.
So mom understood the fact that I needed to sleep. As the staff are getting her to bed later and later. And this means I don't get home until almost midnight now. Then I have things to do. And after this it is late, or early as it would be.
Burning the candle at both ends, finally caught up with me. And mom wanting to go to dad had a extreme effect on me. I couldn't sleep at all.
Mom was in a good mood, even though no one has been to visit her in a while. This saddens me, deeply. But mom was all smiles and hugs and kisses tonight.
I love it when mom is all relaxed. Yet mom in any mood is great for me. I love being their and visiting with her. It is my life and I am very happy with it. And would never change a thing about it. At all.
But I have to find a way of getting myself moved to White Rock. And to furnish a place. Get a car, to take mom to her doctors appointments and to visit places and people.
I do need clothing, not just for the job interviews. But clothing in general. Nothing fits me, and is falling off all the time. Even my under garments are now to big for me. And I am constantly pulling them up, all day long.
Looks like I like to grab my ass, or I am, well you know.
No job interviews for me this coming week. I had to phone and cancel them today. Yesterday I mean.
Mom was relaxed today and we enjoyed are time together. I have downloaded allot of music for mom, on to my phone and will be getting more tonight.
Slacker is not working properly. So no radio. This is OK,
Mom was and is looking forward to tomorrow when I visit again. I will bring her the big salad she likes. I got a little bit of comfort money funds today. I spent $10.00 on myself today out of the money. And then purchased groceries to make mom dinner tomorrow night and then funds left over to try to last me until the end of the month. Which this $100.00 won't last.
I don't know what I will do, but GOD has a plan. And I have to trust GOD that HE will supply my needs. So I can move to White Rock within a few month's. My goal is for the end of May or sooner. If it is in the plan.
I really wanted to go to these interviews next week, but so be it. Their will be other interviews. Who knows if I would of even liked what I would of been doing. So I don't know. It did not work out so who can even say what is what.
I missed my mother yesterday.When I didn't get their. I need to see her everyday. I love the smile on her face when I get their. She knows exactly when I arrive.
She loves it when I sing a long with the music. And I am getting pretty good I do say so myself.
Mom had clear eye's today.
I must go now. I have been up for over 24 hrs now. And I do need to get up and get some salad items.
So GOD bless and good night.
Kris
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Friday, March 16, 2012
I missed today's visit
Hello again
Today I missed my visit with mom. I have been so stressed out and I needed sleep. That to me is an excuse.
Mom cannot leave and depends on my visits. And it was wrong and is wrong of me to miss visits with her. I feel really bad and guilty because of this. Yes last week when mom was not feeling good about her situation, and still is feeling bad about it. I started this really bad sleep pattern. Of not sleeping. And it has caught up with me.
This morning I was still awake at 6am and then 8 am and I thought, OK good. The next thing I know it is 6pm and I am just waking up. There was know way I could of even arrived their before 9 pm and that is just too late.
So here I am sitting in front of the computer, wide awake, and thinking to myself. " I have to stay awake, to many things to do for Friday." Especially when this week was a write off.
I am extremely upset about this whole having job interviews and not having the clothing to go to them. And not being able to get help with any of this.
Considering the PGT has made promises that were not kept. And knowing the best thing for my mother is for me to be in White Rock.
Not having to travel 7 hours. Where these hours could be and can be spent with her and doing things to help her out. And for making extra money to get things for her. As in a bed for her bedroom.
Which is what I need in White Rock, a 2 bedroom place. One room for me and the other for mom when I bring her over for a night or two.
I need to be right there for mom, not 60kms away. That way if anything happens to mom, I can be their right away. Not 2-3 hours away. As it is now, if something happens to mom in the middle of the night. I can't get their until morning. But living their in White Rock I can be their withing 10 minutes or so.
What I need is a miracle. And I need one now.
I was going to write this in an email for the PGT but it is better suited here.
Acts 28, v.26,27
Go to the people and say,
You will be ever hearing but never understanding
you will be ever seeing but never perceiving
For this people's heart has become calloused;
They hardly hear with their ears,
and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eye's,
hear with their ears,
understand with their hearts
and turn, and I would heal them.
I read it and thought good verse for the PGT
Now mom is all I have in this life. I don't have anyone else. No body to call friends. I haven't dated in quite some time. I have gone out for coffee, but nothing more than that.
I have written someone online. But to quick, to want to come over to Canada. A Russian women. Now I am and have been writing this women, who states she is a missionary over in Cambodia. It was going well, writing back and forth. But I find it difficult to believe anyone. Especially when there are incongruities in their statements.
Ie: She says she grew up in the UK. I asked her where she went to high School and she went to high school in Canada. I mean, she said she was in the UK until the age of 20. Maybe I miss understood. But I dont' misunderstand broken English. Very broken English. Could be this is the way people write on line, but no.
Than the other day, she writes me that she was appointed to take care of this kid who is about to have cancer surgery. A leg cancer, is the way she wrote it. Then the next email. She said she was going around asking for donations and if I would like to donate. That GOD would bless those who help out.
I have, in previous emails, wrote that my goal is to help our loved one's who are being abused and I have no funds, and I can't even afford the cost of the web hosting.
Also I told her to download Skype and let us communicate over this.
Anyways. mom is the most important person in my life. I need to be their for her and spend what little money I get on her. As mom needs to feel good about herself, which makes her want to be alive. And stay alive.
That is why I will go without, and be happy about it. I love giving mom her daily spa treatment. And she loves it as well. The smile on her face is worth everything I do.
And to see her know who I am each and every time I arrive, is enough for me.
I will say good night now. I don't know what to do, but I need to be up and about before 8 am.
GOD bless and good night
Kris
Today I missed my visit with mom. I have been so stressed out and I needed sleep. That to me is an excuse.
Mom cannot leave and depends on my visits. And it was wrong and is wrong of me to miss visits with her. I feel really bad and guilty because of this. Yes last week when mom was not feeling good about her situation, and still is feeling bad about it. I started this really bad sleep pattern. Of not sleeping. And it has caught up with me.
This morning I was still awake at 6am and then 8 am and I thought, OK good. The next thing I know it is 6pm and I am just waking up. There was know way I could of even arrived their before 9 pm and that is just too late.
So here I am sitting in front of the computer, wide awake, and thinking to myself. " I have to stay awake, to many things to do for Friday." Especially when this week was a write off.
I am extremely upset about this whole having job interviews and not having the clothing to go to them. And not being able to get help with any of this.
Considering the PGT has made promises that were not kept. And knowing the best thing for my mother is for me to be in White Rock.
Not having to travel 7 hours. Where these hours could be and can be spent with her and doing things to help her out. And for making extra money to get things for her. As in a bed for her bedroom.
Which is what I need in White Rock, a 2 bedroom place. One room for me and the other for mom when I bring her over for a night or two.
I need to be right there for mom, not 60kms away. That way if anything happens to mom, I can be their right away. Not 2-3 hours away. As it is now, if something happens to mom in the middle of the night. I can't get their until morning. But living their in White Rock I can be their withing 10 minutes or so.
What I need is a miracle. And I need one now.
I was going to write this in an email for the PGT but it is better suited here.
Acts 28, v.26,27
Go to the people and say,
You will be ever hearing but never understanding
you will be ever seeing but never perceiving
For this people's heart has become calloused;
They hardly hear with their ears,
and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eye's,
hear with their ears,
understand with their hearts
and turn, and I would heal them.
I read it and thought good verse for the PGT
Now mom is all I have in this life. I don't have anyone else. No body to call friends. I haven't dated in quite some time. I have gone out for coffee, but nothing more than that.
I have written someone online. But to quick, to want to come over to Canada. A Russian women. Now I am and have been writing this women, who states she is a missionary over in Cambodia. It was going well, writing back and forth. But I find it difficult to believe anyone. Especially when there are incongruities in their statements.
Ie: She says she grew up in the UK. I asked her where she went to high School and she went to high school in Canada. I mean, she said she was in the UK until the age of 20. Maybe I miss understood. But I dont' misunderstand broken English. Very broken English. Could be this is the way people write on line, but no.
Than the other day, she writes me that she was appointed to take care of this kid who is about to have cancer surgery. A leg cancer, is the way she wrote it. Then the next email. She said she was going around asking for donations and if I would like to donate. That GOD would bless those who help out.
I have, in previous emails, wrote that my goal is to help our loved one's who are being abused and I have no funds, and I can't even afford the cost of the web hosting.
Also I told her to download Skype and let us communicate over this.
Anyways. mom is the most important person in my life. I need to be their for her and spend what little money I get on her. As mom needs to feel good about herself, which makes her want to be alive. And stay alive.
That is why I will go without, and be happy about it. I love giving mom her daily spa treatment. And she loves it as well. The smile on her face is worth everything I do.
And to see her know who I am each and every time I arrive, is enough for me.
I will say good night now. I don't know what to do, but I need to be up and about before 8 am.
GOD bless and good night
Kris
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Today
Hello again
Today, or actually last night and for many nights now, I have not slept and it is effecting me. Today I slept in or tried to sleep. And it was 3:00 pm when I got up. I didn't want to go, as I wanted to just sleep, but mom can't go anywhere and it is important for me to be their. I make her day and she makes mine.
So I got my lazy ass out of bed and quickly got showered and dressed and out the door I went. Well not the quickly, bu quick enough.
I knew it would be late when I got their and it was. I had nothing for her. No drinks, nor snacks or fruit for her.
I took the only things I had for her, was a couple of puddings. OK I had some snacks for her. No drinks though.
I got their at 7:40 pm and mom was already in bed. But not asleep, which I thought would be the case. When I went into her room, mom immediately knew I was there.
So I told her what and why I was late and then proceeded to do her daily spa treatment. Fed her some pudding and sang to her as I do every night. I sing my goodnight song to her.
Now, I now live with an alcoholic, one that is the worst type of drunk. The one that hides his drinking, takes his empties with him everyday, to dump, so no one knows how much he drinks.
And he has been using all of my things, hair gel, shampoo, tooth paste and butter. Plus a whole, large bottle of hand sanitizer, Which he states he never used.
I can't be around this, as I am a recovering drunk. And I have had no problem admitting it on this blog. Now I need to move to White Rock. And I am getting help to get on disability through a non-profit group and I can work as well while on disability.
I have arranged two good job interviews for next week. The only problem is I have no clothing, suit, I mean for these interviews. They are in the field that I have studied for the last many, many years. They pay well, very well. And I asked the PGT for help, after they tell me to get a job. And what they say to me is ask welfare. Knowing full well that they won't help me.
I need one of these jobs, as I explained to the PGT and it doesn't matter to them, they say no to everything. They know I have nothing and need everything to move from here and now know the circumstances I now live with. And it is not good for me. Don't get me wrong I will never drink again. It is not for me. I prefer to be straight. I just don't want to be around people who leave their empties around and can't clean up after themselves. As three people live here and it has to be cleaned for everyone to use everything.
I am not a maid and I won't clean up after anyone. And this place is seeing the results of me not cleaning. Ants are now in the kitchen and it took me along time to get rid of them when I moved in. So I am not even going to care about any of this. I have mom to worry about, not this crap.
Now I need to move from here, as I can't be around this. And if I am, I am going to explode and freak out on this guy. I don't do this. But if he doesn't repay me I will be left with no choice. OK I am talking out of my ####, But I won't even have anything to say to him from now on. I can't leave anything in the bathroom anymore, or any food in the kitchen. I have to keep everything in my room. I don't even know if he has been using my mother's things. I don't think so, as they are always with me.
Now I found out that the comfort funds are not available to me as the social worker is away for the rest of the month. Well I found this out because I checked my voice mail. Well I don't check voice mail that often. Once a week. As I have caller ID. And the social worker left me this message last Friday. So I now, sent an email to the PGT who arranged this mess.
Now the PGT is going to cost me more jobs. They have cost me a business that I re started a few years ago now, and this organization that I am trying to get off the ground. www.adsaac.ca and www.adsaac.com but the one is now suspended as I could not make the payment for this month. And the numbers on the web site don't work either. I have business cards with all this information on them. They didn't cost me that much, but they are useless to me now. Oh well. you know what, I don't care.
Mom is the only person I care about and that is it. I try to do what is right and try to get myself to White Rock. I apply for disability and was turned down because of the doctors writing the wrong things down. They didn't even check my medical background.
And then, the appeals tribunal, sends me to a place that I cannot get too. And then turned down again. It is not like I wanted to be on disability forever. It was to get me out of Coquitlam
The forces that be, have turned me down again. but for mom's sake I will never give up, nor will I never surrender.
So it is late again, and, well I can't go to sleep tonight. I need to make calls in the morning, to try to find funds to get mom her snacks and drinks.
I have nothing.
GOD bless and good night
Kris
Today, or actually last night and for many nights now, I have not slept and it is effecting me. Today I slept in or tried to sleep. And it was 3:00 pm when I got up. I didn't want to go, as I wanted to just sleep, but mom can't go anywhere and it is important for me to be their. I make her day and she makes mine.
So I got my lazy ass out of bed and quickly got showered and dressed and out the door I went. Well not the quickly, bu quick enough.
I knew it would be late when I got their and it was. I had nothing for her. No drinks, nor snacks or fruit for her.
I took the only things I had for her, was a couple of puddings. OK I had some snacks for her. No drinks though.
I got their at 7:40 pm and mom was already in bed. But not asleep, which I thought would be the case. When I went into her room, mom immediately knew I was there.
So I told her what and why I was late and then proceeded to do her daily spa treatment. Fed her some pudding and sang to her as I do every night. I sing my goodnight song to her.
Now, I now live with an alcoholic, one that is the worst type of drunk. The one that hides his drinking, takes his empties with him everyday, to dump, so no one knows how much he drinks.
And he has been using all of my things, hair gel, shampoo, tooth paste and butter. Plus a whole, large bottle of hand sanitizer, Which he states he never used.
I can't be around this, as I am a recovering drunk. And I have had no problem admitting it on this blog. Now I need to move to White Rock. And I am getting help to get on disability through a non-profit group and I can work as well while on disability.
I have arranged two good job interviews for next week. The only problem is I have no clothing, suit, I mean for these interviews. They are in the field that I have studied for the last many, many years. They pay well, very well. And I asked the PGT for help, after they tell me to get a job. And what they say to me is ask welfare. Knowing full well that they won't help me.
I need one of these jobs, as I explained to the PGT and it doesn't matter to them, they say no to everything. They know I have nothing and need everything to move from here and now know the circumstances I now live with. And it is not good for me. Don't get me wrong I will never drink again. It is not for me. I prefer to be straight. I just don't want to be around people who leave their empties around and can't clean up after themselves. As three people live here and it has to be cleaned for everyone to use everything.
I am not a maid and I won't clean up after anyone. And this place is seeing the results of me not cleaning. Ants are now in the kitchen and it took me along time to get rid of them when I moved in. So I am not even going to care about any of this. I have mom to worry about, not this crap.
Now I need to move from here, as I can't be around this. And if I am, I am going to explode and freak out on this guy. I don't do this. But if he doesn't repay me I will be left with no choice. OK I am talking out of my ####, But I won't even have anything to say to him from now on. I can't leave anything in the bathroom anymore, or any food in the kitchen. I have to keep everything in my room. I don't even know if he has been using my mother's things. I don't think so, as they are always with me.
Now I found out that the comfort funds are not available to me as the social worker is away for the rest of the month. Well I found this out because I checked my voice mail. Well I don't check voice mail that often. Once a week. As I have caller ID. And the social worker left me this message last Friday. So I now, sent an email to the PGT who arranged this mess.
Now the PGT is going to cost me more jobs. They have cost me a business that I re started a few years ago now, and this organization that I am trying to get off the ground. www.adsaac.ca and www.adsaac.com but the one is now suspended as I could not make the payment for this month. And the numbers on the web site don't work either. I have business cards with all this information on them. They didn't cost me that much, but they are useless to me now. Oh well. you know what, I don't care.
Mom is the only person I care about and that is it. I try to do what is right and try to get myself to White Rock. I apply for disability and was turned down because of the doctors writing the wrong things down. They didn't even check my medical background.
And then, the appeals tribunal, sends me to a place that I cannot get too. And then turned down again. It is not like I wanted to be on disability forever. It was to get me out of Coquitlam
The forces that be, have turned me down again. but for mom's sake I will never give up, nor will I never surrender.
So it is late again, and, well I can't go to sleep tonight. I need to make calls in the morning, to try to find funds to get mom her snacks and drinks.
I have nothing.
GOD bless and good night
Kris
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Mom is not happy
Hello again
I just tears my heart out to see mom like she is, and when she can't go anywhere. Or that I can't take her anywhere. I can take her out. but I don't even have enough money to take her for lunch. Or even buy her an ice cream cone.
Now the problem I am really having is mom wants to be with dad and can't stand being like this anymore.The worst part of it is mom wants me to do something about it.
Life is not mine to take, unless it is my own. I will not help her out. And I told her this. But it hurts none the less to see her cry because she just wants out. First and foremost out of the place she is in.
Mom thinks that she is a burden for me. Not a chance, I love my mom and dedicated my life to doing this for her.
The truth is, if it were not for mom, I wouldn't be around. Mom gives me something to live for .
To become a real person, one that actually cares for another person. I will do anything for mom, without a question.
Mom is my life. and their is time for everything else afterwards. Hopefully a long time from now.
The staff are taking longer and longer to get mom ready for bed. This means I am not getting home until midnight now. And then I have things to do, so I don't get to bed until 4 am.
I ask for funds from the comfort fund. And nothing. I have not drinks for mom tomorrow. Or even enough to make her a meal.
I keep asking for help to get to White Rock. A dog gets over $18,000.00 in assistance. And I make countless phone calls and nothing.
The PGT made huge promises, and still will not fulfill them.
I need a job and have some interviews for next week. I ask the person who tells me to get a job. For funds to get proper clothing, since I have nothing and need everything for job interviews.The PGT, and they tell me no, they can't help me out. Even though they say they will help me with my moving expenses.
As I have said many, many times. I don't even have a plate to my own. A fork, knife, cup. Or even a bed or dresser. No couch, TV, stereo. NOTHING AT ALL. Everything I owned was stolen by an ex roommate and this is why I have to live in furnished places.
I have this computer, that I put together from several other older computer's. It works OK. Slow, very slow.
Mom needs me to be out their. Close by, to even just bring her over for dinner, the night, take her out for walks, to the beach. ect..........
It is now 1:49 am and I have only been home for 2 hours now. And I still have things to do.
Today, I am extremely hungry. But today I have nothing to eat. Not even tea. I can normally go without and have gone without for along time. But today I am just very hungry. And nothing for me tonight.
I have lost a ton of weight and have started working out at home, with the bands. And I wanted to workout tonight. Can't do this if I don't eat. I have to tighten the skin, as it gets loose after loosing weight like I did. Through a starvation diet.
Now mom, I love my mother and will never do anything to harm her. Not like the rest of my family. Taking her clothing, jewelry. etc.... Not being their for her. And not even willing to give me the rights to her health care.
Mom needs me to be out their in White Rock by her. No one even gets this.
Mom is devastated by this disease and her not getting the help that she needs or was promised.
I have to go now.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris
I just tears my heart out to see mom like she is, and when she can't go anywhere. Or that I can't take her anywhere. I can take her out. but I don't even have enough money to take her for lunch. Or even buy her an ice cream cone.
Now the problem I am really having is mom wants to be with dad and can't stand being like this anymore.The worst part of it is mom wants me to do something about it.
Life is not mine to take, unless it is my own. I will not help her out. And I told her this. But it hurts none the less to see her cry because she just wants out. First and foremost out of the place she is in.
Mom thinks that she is a burden for me. Not a chance, I love my mom and dedicated my life to doing this for her.
The truth is, if it were not for mom, I wouldn't be around. Mom gives me something to live for .
To become a real person, one that actually cares for another person. I will do anything for mom, without a question.
Mom is my life. and their is time for everything else afterwards. Hopefully a long time from now.
The staff are taking longer and longer to get mom ready for bed. This means I am not getting home until midnight now. And then I have things to do, so I don't get to bed until 4 am.
I ask for funds from the comfort fund. And nothing. I have not drinks for mom tomorrow. Or even enough to make her a meal.
I keep asking for help to get to White Rock. A dog gets over $18,000.00 in assistance. And I make countless phone calls and nothing.
The PGT made huge promises, and still will not fulfill them.
I need a job and have some interviews for next week. I ask the person who tells me to get a job. For funds to get proper clothing, since I have nothing and need everything for job interviews.The PGT, and they tell me no, they can't help me out. Even though they say they will help me with my moving expenses.
As I have said many, many times. I don't even have a plate to my own. A fork, knife, cup. Or even a bed or dresser. No couch, TV, stereo. NOTHING AT ALL. Everything I owned was stolen by an ex roommate and this is why I have to live in furnished places.
I have this computer, that I put together from several other older computer's. It works OK. Slow, very slow.
Mom needs me to be out their. Close by, to even just bring her over for dinner, the night, take her out for walks, to the beach. ect..........
It is now 1:49 am and I have only been home for 2 hours now. And I still have things to do.
Today, I am extremely hungry. But today I have nothing to eat. Not even tea. I can normally go without and have gone without for along time. But today I am just very hungry. And nothing for me tonight.
I have lost a ton of weight and have started working out at home, with the bands. And I wanted to workout tonight. Can't do this if I don't eat. I have to tighten the skin, as it gets loose after loosing weight like I did. Through a starvation diet.
Now mom, I love my mother and will never do anything to harm her. Not like the rest of my family. Taking her clothing, jewelry. etc.... Not being their for her. And not even willing to give me the rights to her health care.
Mom needs me to be out their in White Rock by her. No one even gets this.
Mom is devastated by this disease and her not getting the help that she needs or was promised.
I have to go now.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris
Monday, March 12, 2012
Is the end iso far off
Hello again
No matter how much I dislike that bus ride to White Rock. The hours it takes. When I get their and I see mom in the wheel chair, with the brakes on. Facing the harse lights. Not being able to go anywhere or do anything. Completely at the will of the staff. Not even being in front of the TV. Facing a wall, or the bathroom.
Her eyes running because of the lights and no one gives a crap. How mom is so dehydrated, each and everyday of the week. That she drinks a bottle of water within 15 minutes of me getting their. And more afterwards.
How she does not want to be their anymore. And they just don't give a dam about it. How I insist on mom not getting any anti psychotic drugs and she still is getting them. Telling them that mom does not have a psychological illness, it is medical. And if I try to say anything, lies are told about me, that I make threats. And not even being able to get a copy of the incident report. And now finding out I have to go through the Freedom of Information act. To get one. Even though it is all bull shit what the nurse even said.
And imagine I get threats made to me all the time, if I say or do anything. I will be banned from seeing my mother.
This is just crap and should not continue. And I have mentioned right from the start that nothing is going to change as long as it is the same staff looking after the patients. I know the abuse they get, mom especially.
So when I see this happening to my mother, I cry instantly upon getting their and hugging her. How dare I complain about traveling a few hours to see your mom. When she cannot even do anything at all. And I have to fight the PGT over their lies and bull shit all the time.
Other wise I would be in White Rock already, if the PGT kept their word.
I cry when I see mom.
She does not have long to live. It is the nature of the disease. The average person with Alzheimer's/Dementia life span is 10 years. Mom is in year 7. I see her decline. I just don't want to admit it is happening.
And I am on the phone all the time trying to get help, for mom and I. And then I hear a story that a dog gets over $18,000.00 in donations from my province. And I spend hours trying to get help from anyone and everyone.
Mom is my life, and I am hers. I am tired of the nonsense that is the PGT and why it is taking so long for mom to be released. Of course it could just be that they keep giving mom drugs and she reacts to them. Or that she just wants out of their herself. And she is getting upset at the fact it is taking so long. And reacts and the staff take it as aggressions.Which I know they do. as they don't pay attention to anything she says.
So what to do. I keep asking everyone and anyone who will listen for help
GOD bless and good night
Kris
No matter how much I dislike that bus ride to White Rock. The hours it takes. When I get their and I see mom in the wheel chair, with the brakes on. Facing the harse lights. Not being able to go anywhere or do anything. Completely at the will of the staff. Not even being in front of the TV. Facing a wall, or the bathroom.
Her eyes running because of the lights and no one gives a crap. How mom is so dehydrated, each and everyday of the week. That she drinks a bottle of water within 15 minutes of me getting their. And more afterwards.
How she does not want to be their anymore. And they just don't give a dam about it. How I insist on mom not getting any anti psychotic drugs and she still is getting them. Telling them that mom does not have a psychological illness, it is medical. And if I try to say anything, lies are told about me, that I make threats. And not even being able to get a copy of the incident report. And now finding out I have to go through the Freedom of Information act. To get one. Even though it is all bull shit what the nurse even said.
And imagine I get threats made to me all the time, if I say or do anything. I will be banned from seeing my mother.
This is just crap and should not continue. And I have mentioned right from the start that nothing is going to change as long as it is the same staff looking after the patients. I know the abuse they get, mom especially.
So when I see this happening to my mother, I cry instantly upon getting their and hugging her. How dare I complain about traveling a few hours to see your mom. When she cannot even do anything at all. And I have to fight the PGT over their lies and bull shit all the time.
Other wise I would be in White Rock already, if the PGT kept their word.
I cry when I see mom.
She does not have long to live. It is the nature of the disease. The average person with Alzheimer's/Dementia life span is 10 years. Mom is in year 7. I see her decline. I just don't want to admit it is happening.
And I am on the phone all the time trying to get help, for mom and I. And then I hear a story that a dog gets over $18,000.00 in donations from my province. And I spend hours trying to get help from anyone and everyone.
Mom is my life, and I am hers. I am tired of the nonsense that is the PGT and why it is taking so long for mom to be released. Of course it could just be that they keep giving mom drugs and she reacts to them. Or that she just wants out of their herself. And she is getting upset at the fact it is taking so long. And reacts and the staff take it as aggressions.Which I know they do. as they don't pay attention to anything she says.
So what to do. I keep asking everyone and anyone who will listen for help
GOD bless and good night
Kris
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