Today I was to have a meeting with the PGT but again it was canceled. Ok he was not their again. And I then got pissed off. We were to discuss some important issues. Once again it is another stall tactic on the PGT's behalf. It has been going on for month's now. And it is far to long. I could of achieved my results a long time ago. With the way I would handle it. Picket them. Until the media gets involved and I achieve my results.
So I went to see mom with my aunt. The problem with this is that my aunt does not try to understand my mother. And she only wants to stay a short time. I don't get it. I understand mom and we have conversations all the time. Yes the staff can't even understand her. But this is not my problem, if they can not take the time to understand mom.
And the psychiatrist and I see things differently. I see my mother as someone who will get well and speak again as well as walk again. And mom is trying to speak clearer. I can see she is trying to enunciate her words. The less drugs she gets the more she can speak. This I saw at Riverview. She would be starting to speak clearer and then they would give her more medication and back to the stuttering. And the doctor does not believe these people can make a come back and live a better life.
Where as I believe we can be re trained and re learn all we have lost. And with the use of alternative medicine, these individuals can become a vital part of society again. Instead of being chemically and physical restrained.
I do say this that this is a better place. Does not look like a jail. But the dental issue is still a problem. They did not know how to contact the dental office in the building. It is three floors down. So I went down their and solved the problem. I go up to visit mom and ran into the social worker. Told him exactly what needed to be done. The next day just go down stairs and grab this permission form and I will sign it and return it that same day. Well that was three days ago and it was not until tonight that I was asked to sign the form. I then said I will just take it and go down stairs and drop it off. This should of been done three days ago so mom could get in this Tuesday for the check up and then the following Tuesday for work. I was told that it has to go through them and I could not take it down. Which is un true. And this all could be of been done and over with.
So I really have to go. So I can go and try to watch TV but to only fall asleep with the remote in hand then to wake up when the remote falls to the ground.
GOD Bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Shorts and rain, not a good mix
Hello
First I do not have a fax machine. So whom ever is faxing me, please just call.
Well I have been doing allot of research on Riverview and it is surprising that the number of complaints against Riverview that have been pushed under the rug.
Allot of complaints of sexual assaults and over medication. Many deaths associated with medications.
This seems to be rampant abuse of their powers. And this has been going on for, what 100 years now. Imagine 40 years ago what went on in this place. The use of electro schock treatment is still used. Yea lets just scramble peoples brains and say it helps. It helps who. The staff and the doctors. Because the person becomes a drooling idiot. Not capable of forming words.
They say that they never did this to mom, but I know the truth. What can leave perfect circles on both side of the head. Perfect circles, around the temple area.
And I know that when one protests to much and to quickly. They are not telling the truth. First sign of someone lying to you.
I still leave the lawyers of Riverview with the offer I put on the table before. As I have printed and copied all that I have found so far. And I am not above putting it on my blog.
So let us see. Until then I will continue to dig, and dig deep into River View's past. I have lots of time. As I am disabled and am in worse conditions thanks to ICBC and Translink Eric Friesen of ICBC and Brad of Translink. I will put their numbers up again.
It is getting harder and harder to walk. And the pain is really getting to me. Taking the bus as I do, is only making matters worse. By the time I get home. I can hardly stand or sit for any length of time. There is only one position I can sleep in. But I roll over at night, But this keeps waking up at night. And so I get hardly any sleep.
But the worsted thing is the bus ride. Don't get me wrong, it is a comfortable ride.But it is so long that I get tired. It is just the length of each ride. I have nothing to do, so I close my eyes and then wake up, get on the next bus, close my eyes and then have to wake up and do it one more time. So by the time I reach White Rock to see mom. I am tired and it takes me awhile to wake up. So I have to walk around a bit before I get to see mom. And of course this causes me to be in more pain.
It is just a circle. I need ICBC to buck up and Translink to do the same. So I can get back into my life.
I have to go, I need to go to bed.
GOD Bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
First I do not have a fax machine. So whom ever is faxing me, please just call.
Well I have been doing allot of research on Riverview and it is surprising that the number of complaints against Riverview that have been pushed under the rug.
Allot of complaints of sexual assaults and over medication. Many deaths associated with medications.
This seems to be rampant abuse of their powers. And this has been going on for, what 100 years now. Imagine 40 years ago what went on in this place. The use of electro schock treatment is still used. Yea lets just scramble peoples brains and say it helps. It helps who. The staff and the doctors. Because the person becomes a drooling idiot. Not capable of forming words.
They say that they never did this to mom, but I know the truth. What can leave perfect circles on both side of the head. Perfect circles, around the temple area.
And I know that when one protests to much and to quickly. They are not telling the truth. First sign of someone lying to you.
I still leave the lawyers of Riverview with the offer I put on the table before. As I have printed and copied all that I have found so far. And I am not above putting it on my blog.
So let us see. Until then I will continue to dig, and dig deep into River View's past. I have lots of time. As I am disabled and am in worse conditions thanks to ICBC and Translink Eric Friesen of ICBC and Brad of Translink. I will put their numbers up again.
It is getting harder and harder to walk. And the pain is really getting to me. Taking the bus as I do, is only making matters worse. By the time I get home. I can hardly stand or sit for any length of time. There is only one position I can sleep in. But I roll over at night, But this keeps waking up at night. And so I get hardly any sleep.
But the worsted thing is the bus ride. Don't get me wrong, it is a comfortable ride.But it is so long that I get tired. It is just the length of each ride. I have nothing to do, so I close my eyes and then wake up, get on the next bus, close my eyes and then have to wake up and do it one more time. So by the time I reach White Rock to see mom. I am tired and it takes me awhile to wake up. So I have to walk around a bit before I get to see mom. And of course this causes me to be in more pain.
It is just a circle. I need ICBC to buck up and Translink to do the same. So I can get back into my life.
I have to go, I need to go to bed.
GOD Bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Good ride
Hello
I am first going to start with something that was mentioned to me today. And that is about my sister's. This will be the absolutely last time I write about them.
So this is it. They asked the social worker if mom could be placed in White Rock or closer to them.
Fuck That. Excuse me. They got their way the last time and did not visit mom. My younger sister did not see mom when she was in mission. And this bitch, stole cheques from my parents and her and her son went on a spending spree. It was my dad who did not want to charge her. As the bank wanted to . And I have gathered enough proof of their callous behavior and what they took from my parents before my younger sister had the opportunity to destroy the rest. Yes Gail I took almost all of the documentation from the grey box before you destroyed the rest.
And my older sister got the van, which was taken away from me, so she could take mom out. And she lived 10 minutes away and hardly visited and saw mom. And her and her husband conned my parents into selling their home and got them to sign a line of credit agreement and then went on a spending spree.
Now they want mom to be placed close to them. They drive and I take transit. I travel 170 klms a day to see mom, by transit and have no problem doing it and will continue to do so. Until GO lets me know what HE wants me to do. Move to White Rock or stay here or move some where else.
But the bottom line is mom will move where I want her to move and that is just that. They no longer have a say.
And I have already made my only offer to them. With no resp once so far. And that is I will remove myself from the will. Which I have the document already drawn up. But they in return have to give all health care matters up and leave it to me. Including mom's funeral service. And what she wants. Which I will take care of the payment myself.
This is the only offer I will make. And if they refuse. I will take them to court and fight the will until there is no money left.
Now for mom. Tonight or today I got their early and made arrangements for the dentist in the building. And it was easy. But the doctor and social worker, made it seem difficult. And as I do, I will just get it done by myself. Which always works in my favor. Stop the nonsense and just do it.
And at that point it was dinner time for mom. Well almost. But I have plenty to eat for mom, that I bring everything, mom needs. She had some lemon cookies. And then I had brought a salad and dressing and mom ate allot of that as well as her fish.
We went outside after this for a while. Mom loved this. She pointed out the fact that she was in the hospital before. Which was for her hip surgery. She wanted to go in and have her nightly beauty treatment done which we did and I left. I just got home and sat down and started to write this out for today.
Well I say this I know nothing about my sister's and their lives and they no nothing about me and my life. And you know what that is just fine with me. As far as I am concerned I don't ever want to know about them or ever see them again. Or even have anything to do with them. And they no nothing about me and this is the way it will stay. As it always has been. And they can think and say what they want. I know the truth and that is all I need to know.
They will never ever get anything again, when it comes to where mom lives and her health care. I will take them to court and fight everything. They had their chance and blew it. No time to try now. And they know that mom's chain is missing and which one of them took it.
Just remember girls, I have enough documentation, that I took before you destroyed
I am going to go now.
GOD Bless and good night
Kris
I am first going to start with something that was mentioned to me today. And that is about my sister's. This will be the absolutely last time I write about them.
So this is it. They asked the social worker if mom could be placed in White Rock or closer to them.
Fuck That. Excuse me. They got their way the last time and did not visit mom. My younger sister did not see mom when she was in mission. And this bitch, stole cheques from my parents and her and her son went on a spending spree. It was my dad who did not want to charge her. As the bank wanted to . And I have gathered enough proof of their callous behavior and what they took from my parents before my younger sister had the opportunity to destroy the rest. Yes Gail I took almost all of the documentation from the grey box before you destroyed the rest.
And my older sister got the van, which was taken away from me, so she could take mom out. And she lived 10 minutes away and hardly visited and saw mom. And her and her husband conned my parents into selling their home and got them to sign a line of credit agreement and then went on a spending spree.
Now they want mom to be placed close to them. They drive and I take transit. I travel 170 klms a day to see mom, by transit and have no problem doing it and will continue to do so. Until GO lets me know what HE wants me to do. Move to White Rock or stay here or move some where else.
But the bottom line is mom will move where I want her to move and that is just that. They no longer have a say.
And I have already made my only offer to them. With no resp once so far. And that is I will remove myself from the will. Which I have the document already drawn up. But they in return have to give all health care matters up and leave it to me. Including mom's funeral service. And what she wants. Which I will take care of the payment myself.
This is the only offer I will make. And if they refuse. I will take them to court and fight the will until there is no money left.
Now for mom. Tonight or today I got their early and made arrangements for the dentist in the building. And it was easy. But the doctor and social worker, made it seem difficult. And as I do, I will just get it done by myself. Which always works in my favor. Stop the nonsense and just do it.
And at that point it was dinner time for mom. Well almost. But I have plenty to eat for mom, that I bring everything, mom needs. She had some lemon cookies. And then I had brought a salad and dressing and mom ate allot of that as well as her fish.
We went outside after this for a while. Mom loved this. She pointed out the fact that she was in the hospital before. Which was for her hip surgery. She wanted to go in and have her nightly beauty treatment done which we did and I left. I just got home and sat down and started to write this out for today.
Well I say this I know nothing about my sister's and their lives and they no nothing about me and my life. And you know what that is just fine with me. As far as I am concerned I don't ever want to know about them or ever see them again. Or even have anything to do with them. And they no nothing about me and this is the way it will stay. As it always has been. And they can think and say what they want. I know the truth and that is all I need to know.
They will never ever get anything again, when it comes to where mom lives and her health care. I will take them to court and fight everything. They had their chance and blew it. No time to try now. And they know that mom's chain is missing and which one of them took it.
Just remember girls, I have enough documentation, that I took before you destroyed
I am going to go now.
GOD Bless and good night
Kris
The trip finally got to me today
Hello
It is not as bad as I mentioned. I just needed some extra sleep. I don't get home until 10:30pm and then relax, eat if I can then try to get some sleep. Which does not happen until 2-3:00am then I sleep and wake up.
So I ended up having a meeting with the social worker and the psychiatrist. And well the doctor and I have very different views on Alzheimer's and Dementia. She feels that they can't be saved and are one of the many doctors who believe in the use of anti psychotic drugs. And we all know how I feel about this. And I guess, if mom is given these drugs I will be taking the next step and fight to have mom removed from these drugs.
I believe that these patients can become a vital part of society again and she doesn't. I believe that my mother can learn to talk and walk again. And she does not. Not very good for our first meeting.
Now about something else. I am tired of people thinking they know all about me and my life, what I have done in my life and every other part of my life.
I will tell you and all who are listening. My life is none of any body's business but GOD and myself. The only people I would tell anything about my life where my parents and my father has passed on and mom has Dementia.
My sisters, the thieves, know nothing at all about me or my life. I have rarely spoken to them about myself and what I have done. In fact I have not spoken to them in over ten years. And before this rarely. They do not know what I did in the states. They have no clue what I have done in the last ten years. And know one else does either. Again my life and what I do and accomplish is my business. And I tell no one. Because no one is important enough to share this with.
I, in my opinion do not have sisters, and these two will not have any say in what happens to mom. Now they are trying to say where mom lives. Well the last time, mom ended up along ways away and I was the only one who traveled to see her. And I will take them both to court and fight them to have them removed from any decisions on mom's health care.
And the fact that mom is missing a $400 white gold chain. And no one is doing anything about it. Maybe I should be putting camera's up in mom's room to see who takes mom's things. As in allot of clothing has now gone missing since mom moved in at Ocean Side.
Mom is not going to be able to go to the dentist. Because it is the same old crap, as in River View. So what happens mom stays in pain.
Ok enough. I am requiring y'all to pray that GOD answers my prayers if you are Christian and believe in what I am doing.
So let me tell you about something. I have very little time to do things. I have to leave at 1pm and when I get back I only have time to write this. I only have mornings to get things done. Having a vehicle would create allot more free time to get more work done on adsaac. I need to free up some time to complete my web site, get my applications in for the research grants. Complete a business plan for the grants.
Get in touch with other organizations to let them know I exist etc....
What I am going to say before I go is this. My family has never taken the time to even care about what anyone does in their life. They are to busy talking about themselves. As it is with most people. I learned a long time ago that people only want to talk about themselves. So I let them. And if someone wants to know anything about me I will tell them.
And this blog does not tell you anything about me. I only write in the now. What I feel now, what is happening now, what is going on with mom now; How she is being abused now. I do not know what tomorrow will bring so I can only talk about the now. There is nothing else, but the here and now.
We can not live in the past or tomorrow. That is why I write in the now.
So I have to say good night and GOD Bless
Kris
It is not as bad as I mentioned. I just needed some extra sleep. I don't get home until 10:30pm and then relax, eat if I can then try to get some sleep. Which does not happen until 2-3:00am then I sleep and wake up.
So I ended up having a meeting with the social worker and the psychiatrist. And well the doctor and I have very different views on Alzheimer's and Dementia. She feels that they can't be saved and are one of the many doctors who believe in the use of anti psychotic drugs. And we all know how I feel about this. And I guess, if mom is given these drugs I will be taking the next step and fight to have mom removed from these drugs.
I believe that these patients can become a vital part of society again and she doesn't. I believe that my mother can learn to talk and walk again. And she does not. Not very good for our first meeting.
Now about something else. I am tired of people thinking they know all about me and my life, what I have done in my life and every other part of my life.
I will tell you and all who are listening. My life is none of any body's business but GOD and myself. The only people I would tell anything about my life where my parents and my father has passed on and mom has Dementia.
My sisters, the thieves, know nothing at all about me or my life. I have rarely spoken to them about myself and what I have done. In fact I have not spoken to them in over ten years. And before this rarely. They do not know what I did in the states. They have no clue what I have done in the last ten years. And know one else does either. Again my life and what I do and accomplish is my business. And I tell no one. Because no one is important enough to share this with.
I, in my opinion do not have sisters, and these two will not have any say in what happens to mom. Now they are trying to say where mom lives. Well the last time, mom ended up along ways away and I was the only one who traveled to see her. And I will take them both to court and fight them to have them removed from any decisions on mom's health care.
And the fact that mom is missing a $400 white gold chain. And no one is doing anything about it. Maybe I should be putting camera's up in mom's room to see who takes mom's things. As in allot of clothing has now gone missing since mom moved in at Ocean Side.
Mom is not going to be able to go to the dentist. Because it is the same old crap, as in River View. So what happens mom stays in pain.
Ok enough. I am requiring y'all to pray that GOD answers my prayers if you are Christian and believe in what I am doing.
So let me tell you about something. I have very little time to do things. I have to leave at 1pm and when I get back I only have time to write this. I only have mornings to get things done. Having a vehicle would create allot more free time to get more work done on adsaac. I need to free up some time to complete my web site, get my applications in for the research grants. Complete a business plan for the grants.
Get in touch with other organizations to let them know I exist etc....
What I am going to say before I go is this. My family has never taken the time to even care about what anyone does in their life. They are to busy talking about themselves. As it is with most people. I learned a long time ago that people only want to talk about themselves. So I let them. And if someone wants to know anything about me I will tell them.
And this blog does not tell you anything about me. I only write in the now. What I feel now, what is happening now, what is going on with mom now; How she is being abused now. I do not know what tomorrow will bring so I can only talk about the now. There is nothing else, but the here and now.
We can not live in the past or tomorrow. That is why I write in the now.
So I have to say good night and GOD Bless
Kris
Sunday, September 18, 2011
It is a very long way but worth it.
Hello
So I figured out it is 80klms one way to White Rock and the same back. That is about 4500klms a month. This is where I say I need a car. I leave and have to leave at 1pm and I arrive in White Rock at the hospital at 4:30pm And I arrive home at 10:30 pm after a 3 hour visit. But it is worth it.
Tomorrow I have a meeting at 3pm with the Doctor and social worker to discuss the fact that I am completely and absolutely apposed to anti psychotic drugs and any mind altering medication..
I guess we will see how they react. Again I will not let anyone censor me. Which I feel like is happening now. I feel threatened by them. I the way that if I speak out I will be prohibited from entering the ward and mom can't leave the ward.
So I am actually very upset about this and will not stand for this. If this is the way they wish to present themselves it is not going to be pretty.
Now dentist, I cannot even take mom to the dentist on Tuesday. They won't let me. And I am being given the same old crap I received at Riverview. Just put the dentist off for now. Well what about mom and the pain she is in. That does not matter anymore.
What I am hearing is Who gives a crap about the patient and their pain.! And then I tell the doctor what I want mom to have done and I was told that it is up to the dentist. At which point I said no it is up to me. Not you or anyone else.
This is where I will have to go to court to supersede their crap. I am not going to be nice about anything when it comes to mom and what she is feeling. I have said this over and over again and they should know this. That I will not back down from them or anyone.
I will be on the defensive tomorrow. As I don't like to be told that I can't do anything for mom and she has to continue to be in pain. As they can't get it together to help her. As Riverview did nothing for her.
Mom is being given drugs that are making her hallucinate and this is a no no in my books.
This is all just the doctors and social worker thinking they know more than anyone else. Which is wrong. I have been actively engaged in research and finishing my education, Over the last many years. Which next month will be complete. And as far as I am concerned. I just can't give out medication. Behavioral and forensic psychology. I have not just been doing nothing for the last 11 years of being sober.
So I choose to pursue my organization adsaac to assit all of our loved one's who cannot speak for themselves. And need an advocate to fight for them. And someone to pursue research on alternative treatments to Alzheimer's and Dementia.
I am really tired tonight and have to go.
So GOD Bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
So I figured out it is 80klms one way to White Rock and the same back. That is about 4500klms a month. This is where I say I need a car. I leave and have to leave at 1pm and I arrive in White Rock at the hospital at 4:30pm And I arrive home at 10:30 pm after a 3 hour visit. But it is worth it.
Tomorrow I have a meeting at 3pm with the Doctor and social worker to discuss the fact that I am completely and absolutely apposed to anti psychotic drugs and any mind altering medication..
I guess we will see how they react. Again I will not let anyone censor me. Which I feel like is happening now. I feel threatened by them. I the way that if I speak out I will be prohibited from entering the ward and mom can't leave the ward.
So I am actually very upset about this and will not stand for this. If this is the way they wish to present themselves it is not going to be pretty.
Now dentist, I cannot even take mom to the dentist on Tuesday. They won't let me. And I am being given the same old crap I received at Riverview. Just put the dentist off for now. Well what about mom and the pain she is in. That does not matter anymore.
What I am hearing is Who gives a crap about the patient and their pain.! And then I tell the doctor what I want mom to have done and I was told that it is up to the dentist. At which point I said no it is up to me. Not you or anyone else.
This is where I will have to go to court to supersede their crap. I am not going to be nice about anything when it comes to mom and what she is feeling. I have said this over and over again and they should know this. That I will not back down from them or anyone.
I will be on the defensive tomorrow. As I don't like to be told that I can't do anything for mom and she has to continue to be in pain. As they can't get it together to help her. As Riverview did nothing for her.
Mom is being given drugs that are making her hallucinate and this is a no no in my books.
This is all just the doctors and social worker thinking they know more than anyone else. Which is wrong. I have been actively engaged in research and finishing my education, Over the last many years. Which next month will be complete. And as far as I am concerned. I just can't give out medication. Behavioral and forensic psychology. I have not just been doing nothing for the last 11 years of being sober.
So I choose to pursue my organization adsaac to assit all of our loved one's who cannot speak for themselves. And need an advocate to fight for them. And someone to pursue research on alternative treatments to Alzheimer's and Dementia.
I am really tired tonight and have to go.
So GOD Bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Saturday in the rain
Hello Ocean Side, The PGT and River View
Well today it is an adventure getting to and from White Rock. I have decided that the Vancouver route is the one for me. Ok it is a little longer, but comfort and not having to deal with someone bleeding or drunk or scanks, is worth the extra 1/2 hour. And I get to see some of the bus drivers that I know, when I come back from Vancouver.
I don't know what to say. I am bagged out. well not really. It is the fact I leave at 1pm and get back at 11pm and I get to spend 3 hours with mom. Which is a good thing
Our routine is all out of wack. Mom is use to having dinner than go to the bathroom and then have fruit and drinks before I give her, her nightly beauty treatment.
What I do need is GOD to help me out so I can get a place out their in White Rock. I can't do the moving in with strangers thing anymore. It is bad enough her now. I live with a drunk who just won't clean. And cleaning for me is extremely difficult. But I do it as I like a clean house and then I suffer from the pain.
I will continue to go out their to see mom, with out complaining, But I feel I would like to live in a different place. Besides Coquitlam. But I need real serious help to move to White Rock. None of this few hundred dollars.This is not going to do anything for me.
What I need is GOD to grant me a miricle. Not just any ordinary miricle, but a huge one. Something like winning the lottery. So I can get a place out their and a car/suv. Plus furniture. As I have absolutly none. I mean nothing, not even dishes or cutlery. I have shorts, one pair of boat shoes and then suits, dress shirts and ties. Nothing in between. I don't even have socks. I am not asking for anything. I am just mentioning that today in the rain, I noticed that I have no socks. And I know I have no jeans, as they just disenterated. I had them so long. Remember mom is first and I am last. All my money, if and when I get some. Will go to mom and her needs. As no one is doing this. I am the only one suppling clothing for her. wether buying it new or giving her mine. Which I do all the time.
Well I only have a few casual shirts left. And one wind breaker jacket. I have given mom everything she wants of mine and will continue to do so gladly. If mom wants something I am wearing I will give it to her without even a secound thought. I have given her the clothes right off my back. And you know what. It made me feel great, fantastic. That was the best feeling ever, being able to do for my mother. I will continue to do so, even if it means giving mom my last casual shirt.
GOD said if someone asked for your shirt, give them your pants as well and your jacket and shoes. I do and will. My parents gave up so much for us children that I should be willing to give mom my last peice of clothing. If that is what she wants. that is what she will get.
I am alone and have been for a very long time. And one day I hope to find the peace that I am looking for. Maybe in devloping and finding a way of prolonging my mother's life. With mom having clearer mind and in a more cognative state. Being able to function.
I don't know. I do know that this is what I want to do and I want to spent as much time with my mother as I can. And this includes moving to White Rock. Only if GOD can provide the miricle I seek. Because, again. I can not move from this situation into another one, with the same type of arrangement. I need my own space as well as a space for mom. And green space as well. Like our own home.
I am just wishing and wishing with great intent. Praying for it to be.
I have to go as the people up stairs play games with the wi-fi and unplug it.
So GOD Bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Sorry if there are spelling mistakes.
Well today it is an adventure getting to and from White Rock. I have decided that the Vancouver route is the one for me. Ok it is a little longer, but comfort and not having to deal with someone bleeding or drunk or scanks, is worth the extra 1/2 hour. And I get to see some of the bus drivers that I know, when I come back from Vancouver.
I don't know what to say. I am bagged out. well not really. It is the fact I leave at 1pm and get back at 11pm and I get to spend 3 hours with mom. Which is a good thing
Our routine is all out of wack. Mom is use to having dinner than go to the bathroom and then have fruit and drinks before I give her, her nightly beauty treatment.
What I do need is GOD to help me out so I can get a place out their in White Rock. I can't do the moving in with strangers thing anymore. It is bad enough her now. I live with a drunk who just won't clean. And cleaning for me is extremely difficult. But I do it as I like a clean house and then I suffer from the pain.
I will continue to go out their to see mom, with out complaining, But I feel I would like to live in a different place. Besides Coquitlam. But I need real serious help to move to White Rock. None of this few hundred dollars.This is not going to do anything for me.
What I need is GOD to grant me a miricle. Not just any ordinary miricle, but a huge one. Something like winning the lottery. So I can get a place out their and a car/suv. Plus furniture. As I have absolutly none. I mean nothing, not even dishes or cutlery. I have shorts, one pair of boat shoes and then suits, dress shirts and ties. Nothing in between. I don't even have socks. I am not asking for anything. I am just mentioning that today in the rain, I noticed that I have no socks. And I know I have no jeans, as they just disenterated. I had them so long. Remember mom is first and I am last. All my money, if and when I get some. Will go to mom and her needs. As no one is doing this. I am the only one suppling clothing for her. wether buying it new or giving her mine. Which I do all the time.
Well I only have a few casual shirts left. And one wind breaker jacket. I have given mom everything she wants of mine and will continue to do so gladly. If mom wants something I am wearing I will give it to her without even a secound thought. I have given her the clothes right off my back. And you know what. It made me feel great, fantastic. That was the best feeling ever, being able to do for my mother. I will continue to do so, even if it means giving mom my last casual shirt.
GOD said if someone asked for your shirt, give them your pants as well and your jacket and shoes. I do and will. My parents gave up so much for us children that I should be willing to give mom my last peice of clothing. If that is what she wants. that is what she will get.
I am alone and have been for a very long time. And one day I hope to find the peace that I am looking for. Maybe in devloping and finding a way of prolonging my mother's life. With mom having clearer mind and in a more cognative state. Being able to function.
I don't know. I do know that this is what I want to do and I want to spent as much time with my mother as I can. And this includes moving to White Rock. Only if GOD can provide the miricle I seek. Because, again. I can not move from this situation into another one, with the same type of arrangement. I need my own space as well as a space for mom. And green space as well. Like our own home.
I am just wishing and wishing with great intent. Praying for it to be.
I have to go as the people up stairs play games with the wi-fi and unplug it.
So GOD Bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Sorry if there are spelling mistakes.
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