Hello again
So tonight when I arrived, mom did not have her glasses on, and was tilted up towards the lights. ABUSE. What aren't they getting. ABUSE, ABUSE Will now file a complaint on Monday.
Mom was not very hungry at all tonight. Could be, because she is sitting tilted up towards the lights and the lights bother her eyes.
I had nothing for her, for dinner. I just had fruit. Which she ate a bit of. She just motioned for me to give her the nightly spa treatment. She continued to let me know that is what she wanted. I tried to get her to eat more. But she only ate a papaya and a kiwi. Very little of her actual dinner. In other words, not much.
So I got out one of the Ensure drinks and she had that. This is not a good thing. Mom tried a bit of the veal cutlet and I could see by the expression on her face, it was a very large no.
So off we went and I gave mom her nightly spa treatment. When finished, we waited for an hour for the staff to come and get mom changed for bed. I just stood their and held her hand. I finished afterwards and headed home.
Now about this. I was able to get their. As I mentioned I knew the driver today, to get me to a Skytrain station. And he gave me a transfer.
Well on the way home this is how it went. I walked out of White Rock and stuck my thumb out. I stood on the side of the road for one and half hours for a ride. This took me to the freeway entrance and I stood their for another hour. After this, I got a ride over the bridge and now, I am 5 klms a way from home. I had to walk. No way I was going to get a ride on a highway. Another hour and a half. I just got home one hour ago. At 12:40 am And now I write this at 1:49 am.
I am in extreme pain and very tired. As well as extremely hungry. No groceries in this house. So I am hungry, in pain, lonely, tired. And, well, not in a very good mood.
This again is the fault of the PGT. OK not all of it. My fault as well, for not getting clarity on what the cheque was for. But I still blame the PGT. What the heck. I am pissed off and I feel like blaming someone. So it is the case manager at the PGT that I blame.
I have to go to bed. I need to be up and get some things done. I have to figure out how I am getting to White Rock tomorrow. As I have no money for the bus. And my driver friend is not working tomorrow. Looks like I walk back to the freeway and stand on the freeway entrance and hitch hike. It is illegal to hitch hike on the freeway.
We will see how long it takes tomorrow. Oh yea I will be bringing back laundry to do. As in the blanket, and towels that I use for the spa treatment. Yikes! I will have to figure something out. I will be taking laundry home no matter what.
I need to go now. I am outside, hungry, in pain, tired and lonely.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Friday, June 1, 2012
Mom's eating
Hello again
So today the PGT tells me they already supplied me with the funds for the bus pass 1 1/2 weeks ago. You can't even buy the pass at that time. I phoned him and said why was it issued so early and why did you not tell me it was released. I also said to him that it is never released this early. I always pick it up one or two days before the end of the month. So it does not get confused with any other funds, issued for my mother. So when I dropped off some receipts, and the receptionist handed me a cheque. I assumed it was for things for my mother. As I spoke with him, for days before this, and mentioned mom needed things.
So today, well, I know one of the drivers that drives the bus, which will get me to the skytrain. So I can get their at least. But I don't know how I will get home. I have no money to do this. I guess I could try to hitchhike. I don't know the bus drivers out that way well enough.
No matter what I have to get out to White Rock daily. Mom needs me their for her. She counts on me being their for her. She counts on having her daily spa treatment. Never missed a day, since she has been at the Al Hogg pavilion. And when she was at Oceanside, I only missed three days since last September. And I don't plan on missing any.
I don't even buy razor blades for myself. I have used the same one for the last year and a half. Oh yea I get plenty of razor burns from this. I haven't gone to a hair salon in 4 years. I have cut my own hair. And I really would like to go and have a proper hair cut, for a change. I don't eat much at all. I will sacrifice everything for mom. I have holes in my shoes and my back is killing me. My feet are in very bad condition, because of improper shoes. I have been turned down for any kind of grants ( crises grants) for help. I don't qualify for them.
So I walk, hitch hike or have to do whatever is necessary to get myself their.
I have asked for the photo's again. And he finally responded. He tells me that these are things that can cause problems within the family. Everyone of family members want them.
He obviously doesn't read well. I said I want the photo's to restore them, print copies of them, put them on disk and on a digital photo frame. As well as print enough copies for both of my sisters and give them a copy of the disk. This is what I have planed to do with them. But first they need to be restored. Then hung on mom's wall. But I need them to do this. I am not one to be selfish. That is my sister's job. I just want everyone to have copies of them. All of them.
So tonight, I was able to bring mom a pounded pork, Mediterranean style. and some asparagus. I sauteed the asparagus in butter, salt and pepper. Slowly fried the pork. Put cheese on the pork and shredded some cheese and sprinkled it over the asparagus. I made it their, and mom watched me do this. She had some Ensure while it was cooking.
Well mom just loved this, a huge smile on her face, while I was cooking it, and then while she was eating, she closed her eyes' and enjoyed each and every bite. The home served her dinner to her and I asked if she wanted any. The answer was a very big NO. Mom ate and ate. All the asparagus and most of the pork. It was a large piece of pork. So mom ate quite a bit tonight.
Well, at this point, when she was almost finished dinner, she motioned to me that it was time for her spa treatment and she wanted me to pack up. While doing this, mom still wanted more. Even though she was really full. She just didn't want to stop eating. This is very good.
It is, as I expected, mom does not like what is being served to her. It has no taste for her. But I have nothing to serve her tomorrow. I have some fruit, and a few of the drinks she likes. But no groceries to make her a meal.
I told the PGT about her eating situation, and how she is not eating properly. But I guess my mother's life is not important to them. Only her money. This is all they care about. How much they charge her, for what they do for her. In the case of the PGT, they do nothing for her. They don't protect her rights, or dignity. Civil liberates. Nothing. That is not what they are about.
They take and take the money from seniors and those that are vulnerable and do nothing in return. Again I say, that their only concern is what they get from their clients.. Not as they say, they are their to protect the less fortunate and the vulnerable. It is clear that the PGT is not a savior for anyone but themselves.
Mom needs me to be in White Rock and I need to be their as well. I can't do this alone. I need help from anyone and everyone I can get help from. And once again I ask for your help. I will continue to ask.
I received help once. I need to contact those individuals again and thank them once more.
Today I sprayed mom's feet at the end of the spa treatment. After the women changed mom for bed. As I said I will not stop spraying mom's feet, but I will change it up.
Well it is 1:15 am and it is time for bed.
Y'all know how to get in touch with me. Please help. Especially now, that I don't know how I am going to be getting their, to White Rock.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
So today the PGT tells me they already supplied me with the funds for the bus pass 1 1/2 weeks ago. You can't even buy the pass at that time. I phoned him and said why was it issued so early and why did you not tell me it was released. I also said to him that it is never released this early. I always pick it up one or two days before the end of the month. So it does not get confused with any other funds, issued for my mother. So when I dropped off some receipts, and the receptionist handed me a cheque. I assumed it was for things for my mother. As I spoke with him, for days before this, and mentioned mom needed things.
So today, well, I know one of the drivers that drives the bus, which will get me to the skytrain. So I can get their at least. But I don't know how I will get home. I have no money to do this. I guess I could try to hitchhike. I don't know the bus drivers out that way well enough.
No matter what I have to get out to White Rock daily. Mom needs me their for her. She counts on me being their for her. She counts on having her daily spa treatment. Never missed a day, since she has been at the Al Hogg pavilion. And when she was at Oceanside, I only missed three days since last September. And I don't plan on missing any.
I don't even buy razor blades for myself. I have used the same one for the last year and a half. Oh yea I get plenty of razor burns from this. I haven't gone to a hair salon in 4 years. I have cut my own hair. And I really would like to go and have a proper hair cut, for a change. I don't eat much at all. I will sacrifice everything for mom. I have holes in my shoes and my back is killing me. My feet are in very bad condition, because of improper shoes. I have been turned down for any kind of grants ( crises grants) for help. I don't qualify for them.
So I walk, hitch hike or have to do whatever is necessary to get myself their.
I have asked for the photo's again. And he finally responded. He tells me that these are things that can cause problems within the family. Everyone of family members want them.
He obviously doesn't read well. I said I want the photo's to restore them, print copies of them, put them on disk and on a digital photo frame. As well as print enough copies for both of my sisters and give them a copy of the disk. This is what I have planed to do with them. But first they need to be restored. Then hung on mom's wall. But I need them to do this. I am not one to be selfish. That is my sister's job. I just want everyone to have copies of them. All of them.
So tonight, I was able to bring mom a pounded pork, Mediterranean style. and some asparagus. I sauteed the asparagus in butter, salt and pepper. Slowly fried the pork. Put cheese on the pork and shredded some cheese and sprinkled it over the asparagus. I made it their, and mom watched me do this. She had some Ensure while it was cooking.
Well mom just loved this, a huge smile on her face, while I was cooking it, and then while she was eating, she closed her eyes' and enjoyed each and every bite. The home served her dinner to her and I asked if she wanted any. The answer was a very big NO. Mom ate and ate. All the asparagus and most of the pork. It was a large piece of pork. So mom ate quite a bit tonight.
Well, at this point, when she was almost finished dinner, she motioned to me that it was time for her spa treatment and she wanted me to pack up. While doing this, mom still wanted more. Even though she was really full. She just didn't want to stop eating. This is very good.
It is, as I expected, mom does not like what is being served to her. It has no taste for her. But I have nothing to serve her tomorrow. I have some fruit, and a few of the drinks she likes. But no groceries to make her a meal.
I told the PGT about her eating situation, and how she is not eating properly. But I guess my mother's life is not important to them. Only her money. This is all they care about. How much they charge her, for what they do for her. In the case of the PGT, they do nothing for her. They don't protect her rights, or dignity. Civil liberates. Nothing. That is not what they are about.
They take and take the money from seniors and those that are vulnerable and do nothing in return. Again I say, that their only concern is what they get from their clients.. Not as they say, they are their to protect the less fortunate and the vulnerable. It is clear that the PGT is not a savior for anyone but themselves.
Mom needs me to be in White Rock and I need to be their as well. I can't do this alone. I need help from anyone and everyone I can get help from. And once again I ask for your help. I will continue to ask.
I received help once. I need to contact those individuals again and thank them once more.
Today I sprayed mom's feet at the end of the spa treatment. After the women changed mom for bed. As I said I will not stop spraying mom's feet, but I will change it up.
Well it is 1:15 am and it is time for bed.
Y'all know how to get in touch with me. Please help. Especially now, that I don't know how I am going to be getting their, to White Rock.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Better appetite tonight
Hello again
I have purchased Ensure/Boost for mom. She has not been eating and I needed to get proper nutrition into her. It is a combination of her bad tooth and the food that is served.
So I gave her one when I got their and mom just loved it. I brought some fruit as well. Gold Kiwi, a mango and a papaya. After she drank the Ensure, it seemed that her stomach juices started to flow. And mom became hungry.
She ate all the fruit and allot of the dinner that was served. And most of another Ensure. Oh yea three of her Lindt chocolates. This is the most mom has eaten in, well, over a week.
I have found the secret. For now. I hope mom will keep eating like this. I will keep giving her Ensure and we will see what happens.
So afterwards, mom was defiantly ready for her spa treatment. And after I finished washing and putting lotion on her lower legs and feet, I always spray her feet with a lightly scented fragrance.
One of the staff members was their when I sprayed her feet, and as soon as I finished she,right away started complaining that she has allergies and will have to come back in 15 minutes for the smell to go away.
And when she came back in, she was wearing a mask and double gloved. I almost broke out in laughter. And she then told me that she has really bad allergies.
And proceeded to let her know, That I have been doing this since mom moved in and never did she complain about it. It was only when she had seen me doing it, did she complain.
She told me she noticed it before but did not want to say anything. I simple, and calmly repeated that it was not until you saw me spraying her feet that you developed an allergy to the smell. In other words, it is strictly psychological in nature. I could see it in her eyes that what she was telling me was nonsense. And it was her seeing me spray my mother's feet and her being right their that caused the problem.
And then she tells me that if I want her to come in here. I stopped her right there and then. And told her that she should not be making threats against me, like that. It is your job to do this.
And I explained that Bio Therm products are hypo allergenic. I won't be stopping this as I have been doing this for mom, well, about 4 years now. And this is what mom likes and this is what I will continue to do. Period.
It's not as if they are doing anything for mom, anyways. They still have her legs up. I tried to exercise her legs tonight. But they are extremely stiff. So now I will be getting her legs moving again. I will not tolerate mom's legs always being inclined as they are. She needs to get herself around and not be tilted upwards all the time. I explained to them that the lights bother her. I had a custom set of glasses made for her. Now it is their turn to do as I say.
Yes as I say. This is the way it is going to be. Or I will file a complaint with the Human Rights Tribunal and write scathing reviews of the facility on this blog. More so than I am doing now.
And now on to the PGT. They are still refusing to release mom and dads photo's. I need to restore them and get them up on her wall and on a digital frame. And put them on CD/DVD.
It is the end of the month and I am in need of the bus pass. Yes I get help with this. One day left and I can't get their. I have not missed a day since mom moved to White Rock and I am not going to miss any now or ever.
I, again, will explain to everyone. What I have to do, is to serve my mother and be their for her everyday. Not exceptions to this rule. Mom needs me and I need mom.
I have to move to White Rock and am asking again for help. I need to be their right away. No waiting anymore.
The PGT has to live up to its promises. They keep making them and then they deny them. I am not understanding it. I keep all emails, with everything they say.
But I digress,it is 1:25 am and it is time for bed. I need to get up very early to take care of many things. As in contact the PGT, phone the Al Hogg manager. Phone Samsung and complain about the battery on my phone. It does not even last a day. And I don't really use it much. 2 hours of continuous use. Not good.
GOD bless and good night
I ask for help again
Kris Schmuland
I have purchased Ensure/Boost for mom. She has not been eating and I needed to get proper nutrition into her. It is a combination of her bad tooth and the food that is served.
So I gave her one when I got their and mom just loved it. I brought some fruit as well. Gold Kiwi, a mango and a papaya. After she drank the Ensure, it seemed that her stomach juices started to flow. And mom became hungry.
She ate all the fruit and allot of the dinner that was served. And most of another Ensure. Oh yea three of her Lindt chocolates. This is the most mom has eaten in, well, over a week.
I have found the secret. For now. I hope mom will keep eating like this. I will keep giving her Ensure and we will see what happens.
So afterwards, mom was defiantly ready for her spa treatment. And after I finished washing and putting lotion on her lower legs and feet, I always spray her feet with a lightly scented fragrance.
One of the staff members was their when I sprayed her feet, and as soon as I finished she,right away started complaining that she has allergies and will have to come back in 15 minutes for the smell to go away.
And when she came back in, she was wearing a mask and double gloved. I almost broke out in laughter. And she then told me that she has really bad allergies.
And proceeded to let her know, That I have been doing this since mom moved in and never did she complain about it. It was only when she had seen me doing it, did she complain.
She told me she noticed it before but did not want to say anything. I simple, and calmly repeated that it was not until you saw me spraying her feet that you developed an allergy to the smell. In other words, it is strictly psychological in nature. I could see it in her eyes that what she was telling me was nonsense. And it was her seeing me spray my mother's feet and her being right their that caused the problem.
And then she tells me that if I want her to come in here. I stopped her right there and then. And told her that she should not be making threats against me, like that. It is your job to do this.
And I explained that Bio Therm products are hypo allergenic. I won't be stopping this as I have been doing this for mom, well, about 4 years now. And this is what mom likes and this is what I will continue to do. Period.
It's not as if they are doing anything for mom, anyways. They still have her legs up. I tried to exercise her legs tonight. But they are extremely stiff. So now I will be getting her legs moving again. I will not tolerate mom's legs always being inclined as they are. She needs to get herself around and not be tilted upwards all the time. I explained to them that the lights bother her. I had a custom set of glasses made for her. Now it is their turn to do as I say.
Yes as I say. This is the way it is going to be. Or I will file a complaint with the Human Rights Tribunal and write scathing reviews of the facility on this blog. More so than I am doing now.
And now on to the PGT. They are still refusing to release mom and dads photo's. I need to restore them and get them up on her wall and on a digital frame. And put them on CD/DVD.
It is the end of the month and I am in need of the bus pass. Yes I get help with this. One day left and I can't get their. I have not missed a day since mom moved to White Rock and I am not going to miss any now or ever.
I, again, will explain to everyone. What I have to do, is to serve my mother and be their for her everyday. Not exceptions to this rule. Mom needs me and I need mom.
I have to move to White Rock and am asking again for help. I need to be their right away. No waiting anymore.
The PGT has to live up to its promises. They keep making them and then they deny them. I am not understanding it. I keep all emails, with everything they say.
But I digress,it is 1:25 am and it is time for bed. I need to get up very early to take care of many things. As in contact the PGT, phone the Al Hogg manager. Phone Samsung and complain about the battery on my phone. It does not even last a day. And I don't really use it much. 2 hours of continuous use. Not good.
GOD bless and good night
I ask for help again
Kris Schmuland
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Mom is still not eating much
Hello again
So mom still is not eating much. This could be due to the fact that she has a tooth that is bothering her. The dentist has been away for a week and I still don't know why they haven't seen mom since April. They told me that it was to give her a break.
Well if her teeth are bothering her, why not finish them. Now it is another week that mom has to wait. I mentioned to them that she has a tooth that needs work. I guess we will see if this is why mom has not been eating much.
But in the mean time, I am going to get her some boost/Ensure to help supplement her diet. And help her gain some weight.
Now this is abuse. Having someone in pain and not doing anything about it. I believe it is time to find a proper dentist.
I have to date, not mentioned anything about adsaac, and I think it is time. Mom has to be taken to the toilet. Mom has to be able to get around on her own. I will need to speak to them about this issue. Now that mom has the sunglasses, she is feeling better. She doesn't have to keep her eye's closed. And the glasses look great on her. Very modern. They are putting them on her during the day. Which is what I got them for.
Mom was in a good mood today. And very happy to see me. OK she is always happy to see me. I see my older sister was their today. The space is different.
I brought plastic hangers for her clothing. I really dislike metal hangers. They ruin clothing. I am bringing more tomorrow. Didn't bring enough. I will also make a sign, asking the staff and anyone else not to use metal hangers. And to keep the closet in order. It is a little obsessive compulsive disorder that I have.
Everything in its place and left to right. Pants together, casual shirts, dress shirts. All in order. I have been this way since, well, as long as I can remember. And it really bothers me when it is out of order. I just have to bring it to their attention.
I brought her McDonald's, as she wanted. But she didn't eat all of it. And the McFlurry, she didn't eat. Too cold for her.
I am going to keep this short tonight. I am very tired and hungry. So off to bed I go. Watch something I have on my computer. I am also cold. It is not very warm outside tonight. Remember I have to drag my computer outside to get a proper Internet connection.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
So mom still is not eating much. This could be due to the fact that she has a tooth that is bothering her. The dentist has been away for a week and I still don't know why they haven't seen mom since April. They told me that it was to give her a break.
Well if her teeth are bothering her, why not finish them. Now it is another week that mom has to wait. I mentioned to them that she has a tooth that needs work. I guess we will see if this is why mom has not been eating much.
But in the mean time, I am going to get her some boost/Ensure to help supplement her diet. And help her gain some weight.
Now this is abuse. Having someone in pain and not doing anything about it. I believe it is time to find a proper dentist.
I have to date, not mentioned anything about adsaac, and I think it is time. Mom has to be taken to the toilet. Mom has to be able to get around on her own. I will need to speak to them about this issue. Now that mom has the sunglasses, she is feeling better. She doesn't have to keep her eye's closed. And the glasses look great on her. Very modern. They are putting them on her during the day. Which is what I got them for.
Mom was in a good mood today. And very happy to see me. OK she is always happy to see me. I see my older sister was their today. The space is different.
I brought plastic hangers for her clothing. I really dislike metal hangers. They ruin clothing. I am bringing more tomorrow. Didn't bring enough. I will also make a sign, asking the staff and anyone else not to use metal hangers. And to keep the closet in order. It is a little obsessive compulsive disorder that I have.
Everything in its place and left to right. Pants together, casual shirts, dress shirts. All in order. I have been this way since, well, as long as I can remember. And it really bothers me when it is out of order. I just have to bring it to their attention.
I brought her McDonald's, as she wanted. But she didn't eat all of it. And the McFlurry, she didn't eat. Too cold for her.
I am going to keep this short tonight. I am very tired and hungry. So off to bed I go. Watch something I have on my computer. I am also cold. It is not very warm outside tonight. Remember I have to drag my computer outside to get a proper Internet connection.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
I need to be their
Hello again
Mom is still not eating properly. She just chews and chews her food. She just wants to go to bed and have her spa treatment done.
I say to her please eat more and we will go.But she just gets mad and starts to push the food away and/or throws it.
I can get her to eat fruit and the cheese she likes. The chocolate she likes. Although fruit is great for you. Protein is also important.
Mom does like the salad I make and I can get her to eat some chicken with it. She will eat this for several days. I asked for help with this from the PGT, We will be getting her Ensure and I joined their club so I can get coupon's and samples as well. I also joined their other club, for products that help manage diabetes. Which I have, I manage with diet and exercise. OOP's I don't eat but excises. So I guess I am not managing it.
I picked up mom's sunglasses. Custom made for her. Now I write this, as proof I mom has them. I have also taken pictures of them and sent a copy to the PGT.
I do this as I and my mother has clothed my sister's very well over the last several years. Mom would have allot of nice things if the sister's didn't keep taking them. I have mentioned to the staff that the glasses are not to leave the ward. I will have to contact the social worker and manager and let them know as well.
Isn't this a shame that I would have to do this to protect mom's property. I mentioned in my email to the PGT to pass it on to my sister's that if they do go missing I will call the Police and have them charged with theft.
Oh yea my younger sister finally went to see mom. I know this as the PGT told me that one of them complained about mom sharing a room. I know it was not the older one, as she has been their many times. OK on Thursday's. Now if my younger sister would of been their before I would of heard about her complaint over sharing a room before. And the PGT mentioned this to me today, we were speaking of mom sharing a room and it was mentioned to me that one of my sister's recently complained about this.
Mom needs me more than ever. I need to be in White Rock. And, again I need help with this. I know it is the right thing to do. I feel very peaceful about this decision. Yes I am scared about the move. I am one who does not like change. I use to love change.
But nothing is about me anymore, and I am very happy and excepting of this. I need to do this for my mother more than anything else. And I don't care at all if my sister's do anything. I do what I do because of the love I have for mom. I do this as it is the right thing to do.
Everything else can come latter. It is very emotional for me. The sister's don't get to see what I see, the good and the bad. The changes that I am there for. To love her and show her the respect she deserves.
For me this is the most satisfying thing in my life.
Once again it is late and I need to go to bed. 8:30 am comes early.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
Mom is still not eating properly. She just chews and chews her food. She just wants to go to bed and have her spa treatment done.
I say to her please eat more and we will go.But she just gets mad and starts to push the food away and/or throws it.
I can get her to eat fruit and the cheese she likes. The chocolate she likes. Although fruit is great for you. Protein is also important.
Mom does like the salad I make and I can get her to eat some chicken with it. She will eat this for several days. I asked for help with this from the PGT, We will be getting her Ensure and I joined their club so I can get coupon's and samples as well. I also joined their other club, for products that help manage diabetes. Which I have, I manage with diet and exercise. OOP's I don't eat but excises. So I guess I am not managing it.
I picked up mom's sunglasses. Custom made for her. Now I write this, as proof I mom has them. I have also taken pictures of them and sent a copy to the PGT.
I do this as I and my mother has clothed my sister's very well over the last several years. Mom would have allot of nice things if the sister's didn't keep taking them. I have mentioned to the staff that the glasses are not to leave the ward. I will have to contact the social worker and manager and let them know as well.
Isn't this a shame that I would have to do this to protect mom's property. I mentioned in my email to the PGT to pass it on to my sister's that if they do go missing I will call the Police and have them charged with theft.
Oh yea my younger sister finally went to see mom. I know this as the PGT told me that one of them complained about mom sharing a room. I know it was not the older one, as she has been their many times. OK on Thursday's. Now if my younger sister would of been their before I would of heard about her complaint over sharing a room before. And the PGT mentioned this to me today, we were speaking of mom sharing a room and it was mentioned to me that one of my sister's recently complained about this.
Mom needs me more than ever. I need to be in White Rock. And, again I need help with this. I know it is the right thing to do. I feel very peaceful about this decision. Yes I am scared about the move. I am one who does not like change. I use to love change.
But nothing is about me anymore, and I am very happy and excepting of this. I need to do this for my mother more than anything else. And I don't care at all if my sister's do anything. I do what I do because of the love I have for mom. I do this as it is the right thing to do.
Everything else can come latter. It is very emotional for me. The sister's don't get to see what I see, the good and the bad. The changes that I am there for. To love her and show her the respect she deserves.
For me this is the most satisfying thing in my life.
Once again it is late and I need to go to bed. 8:30 am comes early.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
Sunday, May 27, 2012
mom wants to give up
Hello again
Tonight when I arrived mom was in a great mood, she just finished watching a movie. And was very glad to see me.
But she barely ate any dinner again. No even the papaya, that she loves. Not even one gold kiwi. Or even one of her lindt chocolates.
She did eat something though.
When I brought her to her room to give her the nightly spa treatment. She was pointing at the picture of dad. And whether she said it out loud or I just heard it. It was she wanted to go and be with dad. That she has had enough.
She said she doesn't have a life anymore. She is not able to move herself around or even be taken to the washroom like a human being with dignity.
I told her not to give up that I am moving out here, so I can come all the time and we can do things. Bring her over for lunch or dinner. Or even stay overnight. I have no problem with any of this.
I hugged her and told her I loved her. I started crying again. It is sad to hear this. But I did say to her that dad would tell her not to give up. I said dad will be waiting for you. There is no rush. We have allot to do yet.
She calmed down a little bit.
I have started to pack and will be completely packed by the end of the week.
I don't care if I sleep on the floor, sit on the floor. If I eat off of plates, or not. Or even eat, period. This is something I have done allot of. Not eat. It is how I lost 80 lbs. By not eating.
I don't care if I have dishes, pot and pans. A couch, chair or whatever. I don't even care if I have a bed, dresser or anything at first. I can put a comforter on the floor and then sleep on that.
I won't be able to have mom over for a while, until I do get things. And I need everything. As mentioned in previous blogs. I am living in a shared accommodation, because I had everything I owned stolen before I moved in here and before that I lost everything in a fire.
So I was left with nothing. A few pieces of clothing. But I was heavier and bought cloths to fit me. And never wore them. Now I am allot smaller and have no clothing to fit me.
Back to mom. I have to be out their. I asked if anyone came to see her. And the look she gave me. It said it all.
Do you think any of my children come to see me. I got the message. I will not be asking anymore.
But mom needs someone around to keep reminding her that she is loved. She needs someone to be fighting to make sure her rights are respected. That she gets excises. To take her outside and to do things with her.
I don't blame her for this. She never goes anywhere She doesn't get to move around by herself.
They even keep her leaned back and the lights are bothering her eye's.
Mom needs me to be their for her. No one else is. Not my sister's, nor my uncle, nor anyone. I really need to do all I can for her.
But right now, I feel like I am a disgusting person. Not able to provide what mom needs, not able to take her anywhere. I have nothing, I am miles and miles away from her. I am not even a worthy son. I don't even consider myself a good person. I am trying to do everything and I know it is not enough.
I need to do a hell of allot more for mom.. I do really need help!
I have to, I mean I really have to move to White Rock. Again, as long as I have an Internet connection I can do everything with that. Write this blog, email. watch TV etc....
I can live without, furniture, pots and pans, dishes, a bed, couch, chair and lamps. OK well maybe not lamps. I have some bedding.
I am extremely upset that I can't get the help I need. I am deeply and emotionally wrecked. All I want to do is just hug mom and cry. I am going to sit with her before I leave, until she falls asleep. I just want to hold her hand to show her that I love her.
I am becoming very emotional now, so I am going to stop this for tonight.
It is time the PGT do whatever is necessary to get me to White Rock. And to release the photo's. as well as provide funds to get a decent printer to restore them. Yes I said that. It was because of my sister that the photo's need to be restored. She stored them in a leaky shed.
The PGT has made multiple promises and it is time they keep their word. And keep the promises they made.
There is no more games, I won't play them anymore. I will fight and fight. And do what is necessary.
I can't even afford to buy mom fruit or her drinks. I will, however, write to Coke and let them know that the only drinks mom likes are their products and if they could help me out. I am having a hard time finding the water mom likes. It was all over the place and not so much now.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Tonight when I arrived mom was in a great mood, she just finished watching a movie. And was very glad to see me.
But she barely ate any dinner again. No even the papaya, that she loves. Not even one gold kiwi. Or even one of her lindt chocolates.
She did eat something though.
When I brought her to her room to give her the nightly spa treatment. She was pointing at the picture of dad. And whether she said it out loud or I just heard it. It was she wanted to go and be with dad. That she has had enough.
She said she doesn't have a life anymore. She is not able to move herself around or even be taken to the washroom like a human being with dignity.
I told her not to give up that I am moving out here, so I can come all the time and we can do things. Bring her over for lunch or dinner. Or even stay overnight. I have no problem with any of this.
I hugged her and told her I loved her. I started crying again. It is sad to hear this. But I did say to her that dad would tell her not to give up. I said dad will be waiting for you. There is no rush. We have allot to do yet.
She calmed down a little bit.
I have started to pack and will be completely packed by the end of the week.
I don't care if I sleep on the floor, sit on the floor. If I eat off of plates, or not. Or even eat, period. This is something I have done allot of. Not eat. It is how I lost 80 lbs. By not eating.
I don't care if I have dishes, pot and pans. A couch, chair or whatever. I don't even care if I have a bed, dresser or anything at first. I can put a comforter on the floor and then sleep on that.
I won't be able to have mom over for a while, until I do get things. And I need everything. As mentioned in previous blogs. I am living in a shared accommodation, because I had everything I owned stolen before I moved in here and before that I lost everything in a fire.
So I was left with nothing. A few pieces of clothing. But I was heavier and bought cloths to fit me. And never wore them. Now I am allot smaller and have no clothing to fit me.
Back to mom. I have to be out their. I asked if anyone came to see her. And the look she gave me. It said it all.
Do you think any of my children come to see me. I got the message. I will not be asking anymore.
But mom needs someone around to keep reminding her that she is loved. She needs someone to be fighting to make sure her rights are respected. That she gets excises. To take her outside and to do things with her.
I don't blame her for this. She never goes anywhere She doesn't get to move around by herself.
They even keep her leaned back and the lights are bothering her eye's.
Mom needs me to be their for her. No one else is. Not my sister's, nor my uncle, nor anyone. I really need to do all I can for her.
But right now, I feel like I am a disgusting person. Not able to provide what mom needs, not able to take her anywhere. I have nothing, I am miles and miles away from her. I am not even a worthy son. I don't even consider myself a good person. I am trying to do everything and I know it is not enough.
I need to do a hell of allot more for mom.. I do really need help!
I have to, I mean I really have to move to White Rock. Again, as long as I have an Internet connection I can do everything with that. Write this blog, email. watch TV etc....
I can live without, furniture, pots and pans, dishes, a bed, couch, chair and lamps. OK well maybe not lamps. I have some bedding.
I am extremely upset that I can't get the help I need. I am deeply and emotionally wrecked. All I want to do is just hug mom and cry. I am going to sit with her before I leave, until she falls asleep. I just want to hold her hand to show her that I love her.
I am becoming very emotional now, so I am going to stop this for tonight.
It is time the PGT do whatever is necessary to get me to White Rock. And to release the photo's. as well as provide funds to get a decent printer to restore them. Yes I said that. It was because of my sister that the photo's need to be restored. She stored them in a leaky shed.
The PGT has made multiple promises and it is time they keep their word. And keep the promises they made.
There is no more games, I won't play them anymore. I will fight and fight. And do what is necessary.
I can't even afford to buy mom fruit or her drinks. I will, however, write to Coke and let them know that the only drinks mom likes are their products and if they could help me out. I am having a hard time finding the water mom likes. It was all over the place and not so much now.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
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