Today mom was off

Hello again

In the world of Dementia there is a condition called sun downer. It is as the day goes on the person becomes a little more agitated. And their condition gets worse off. Or in mom's case she gets angry.

On the weekend mom suffers from sun dower. As in during the week, she gets tired easily. Of course who wouldn't. Sitting around all day in a wheel chair, not even being able to move yourself around. As you did a month ago. You would become bored. And then tired. So by the time dinner comes around mom is already for bed. She hurries while eating and then chokes. I try to slow her down. But all she wants to do is go to bed.

Actually, it has to do with the fact they don't take her to the bathroom. She doesn't want to go in her pants. So at Oceanside, it was get the spa treatment done mom gets to go to the washroom. So this is what she is thinking at the Al Hogg building.

But they refuse to take her to the bathroom. And again think she is incontinent. Yes anyone would be if they are not able to be taken to the washroom.

So it is time to call the human rights tribunal. This is abuse. Plain a simple. Why oh why doesn't anyone realize that I will not take this from any of them.

They think they are the only professionals that know anything. I refuse to brag about any of my educational achievements. And the less they know the better. But I guess I am giving allot away just writing this blog.

Not everything, though.

But tonight, while the staff member was putting mom to bed, they must of grabbed her wrong. As mom took a swing at the staff member. And tried to scratch me. but this is to mom being overly tired. I calmed her down and asked her if she would hit me if she wants to hit anyone. I just don't want these individuals to have any ammunition to be able to give her excessive medication.

Now the PGT has screwed me again, not just me but mom as well. They are refusing to release funds for me to get her what she needs. This is the way they behave to all their clients. They answer to no one. According to the provincial government.

But again, it is very late and I finally was able to gain access to the Internet just before I started to write this blog tonight. I had trouble gaining access to my neighbours Internet.

GOD bless and good night

Kris

I am sad

Hello again

I am sad again today.

Today all I had to make for mom was an omelette and bacon for dinner. I did and it was not mom's first choice for what she wanted for dinner. Of course, I have to re heat it and nothing tastes good after it was heated up in a microwave oven.

But she had roast beef and mash potatoes with a vegetable. This she liked. But mom felt that she had to eat some of the dinner I made for her. Even though she was full from the dinner their. She did not want to see it wasted.

As I can't eat eggs, and I don't eat pork. It would of not been wasted. I would of just given it to the raccoons. I have nothing for them and they would of loved it.

Nothing is wasted with me.

It does not matter if mom likes it. OK I like to make things she enjoys. But if she does not want it. She does not have to eat it.

I told her this. mom eat only what you like. And if you don't like it don't eat it. This is the way we all eat. So don't feel that because I made it you have to eat it.

Do only what you want. Mom has earned this right. And this is the way she should be.

I don't know, but mom is crying allot lately. She looks at me while I am doing all this for her and cries. But I say to her that I look forward to being here and this is the best part of my day.  I miss her everyday, and I would never change what I am doing for anything.

This I tell her and mentioned to her today. Mom then smiled. And she loves what I do for her.

When I first arrived, I washed her hair, dried it and styled it. Then dinner and her spa treatment.

She did mentioned to me about wanting fresh flowers for her room. I just don't have anything to be able to get this for her. I have nothing left to make mom any kind of dinner. What I made her today was it.

Mother's Day is upon us and I can't even cook her a meal, buy her a meal. I can't even buy her flowers.

Mom needs night gowns, her own comforter's As I would like to have mine back. Yet if I can't get her any  comforters. She can keep mine and I will just keep on using what I have.

I hate sheets, especially a top sheet. I don't know why.

But what I have concluded about myself, is that I am not a good son. I cannot provide mom with the proper things she needs. I do what I can, but I know it is not enough.

I know mom sees this and knows I am doing the best that I can do, with what I have. But I see it differently.

I am not doing a good enough job. I need to do better. Mom needs a very good vitamin regime. She needs to get up and exercise.

I blame the staff at the Al Hogg pavilion for not doing any of these things. Which they told me they were going to do. As with all the places mom has been.

By making mom go to the bathroom in her pants is abuse. By not getting mom up and trying to walk her is abuse. And not letting mom move about by herself is also abuse. These are issues that I should be taking up with the the human rights tribunal.

I am not making any sense now. Time for my dinner, popcorn, again. I am starting to enjoy it. I don't have a choice.

Someone is coming for a bike I have for sale. But I forgot the combination and I don't have bolt cutters. They are to come tomorrow by 1 pm. I will knock on some of the neighbors doors. To see if any of them have a set of bolt cutters.  I will only get $35.00 if they show up. It will be enough to maybe get her flowers and some drinks and chocolate.

I am loosing my conversational skills. I don't have many conversations with anyone. Don't get me wrong. I love speaking with mom and will talk to her none stop. She does let me know it is time to just hold her hand while she listens to music.

I really am loosing it. I can't concentrate.

Have to go

GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland

It is all getting very bad

Hello Again

So I want my parents, mom's photo's. I want to restore them ( as my younger sister stored them in a leaky shed, and they got water damaged. I remember going to visit mom, at my sister's and mom down on the floor trying to dry them out. And separate them. I was disgusted with this; At this point mom was already showing sign's of sever agitation. And separation anxiety. Suffered from a stroke already and very lonely, being stuck at my sister's

And since then the PGT took the photo's and put them in storage. Which by any body's reasoning, are getting worse off. I want to restore them, re print them, burn them to CD/DVD. And put them up on the wall in mom's room. Letting her have her memories back. We are talking about mom's wedding photo's, Dad''s army photo's and everything from the early 1900 to 10 years ago.

They keep refusing to release them. In the mean time they are getting more degraded. I need to keep mom's past alive and these photo's are an important part of it. She needs to see them.

I see mom looking at the photo of dad all the time. She really misses him and so do I. We cried together tonight because of this. And I could not stop crying, while I finished her spa treatment. I am crying now, writing this, thinking about it. It has been very emotional for me the last few weeks. I am feeling very sad, and closer to mom.

She is coughing allot lately. I need to get another lung MIR done. They are not even paying attention to the fact that mom has lung cancer. Or possibly.

Emotionally, I am not doing well. It is mother's day this weekend. Tonight at dinner mom was motioning to the flowers on the table, meaning she would like some more flowers for her room. I have been bringing them to her every week since she has moved into this new place.

I have nothing. I am outside sitting typing as this is the only way I can get an Internet connection. An extension cord, and my computer. Well at least I get a visit by the raccoon. But he just wants food. And I don't even have this for him. He puts his little feet out and touches my feet. He/she sticks his/her nose on my feet.

I am loosing weight like crazy and having to put another hole into the belt. I have almost a quarter of another person worth of loose skin on my body. But who cares, I certainly don't I only care about my mother and getting as close to her as I can. This is to include moving to White Rock as soon as I can. I can't live in the situation I am living in anymore.

Mom needs me more now than ever. She counts on me being their for her. I have changed things up a bit and now i get mom into bed. Well the staff gets her into to bed and then I finish the spa treatment while she is in bed.

This is so much better for mom. She doesn't get all relaxed and start to fall asleep and then interrupted to get changed for bed. This way she is in bed, I give her the spa treatment and she is completely relaxed and doesn't have to be disturbed. Mom just falls asleep.

The PGT is still telling me they don't have the receipts. I say, their is the TV, the stereo and all the cosmetics, all their. Well I don't leave the cosmetics their, as they go missing. And I need the stereo receipt. The CD player is  not working and I need to return/exchange it. I can't do this without the receipt.

So today before I left, I printed out the itemized list of everything that was purchased for mom. Just the amounts for each receipt. And the receipts are all numbered. So I printed it out and dropped it off at the PGT office before going to see mom.

I have never felt emotions like I am feeling now and in the past few years. I am depressed, I have thought about ending it. I will never do this. I need to be around to help mom. I don't think about what is going to happen after mom is gone. GOD forbid she does not pass anytime soon.

I cry allot, I sing to my mother everyday. I have a song which I wrote for her, that I sing to her every night before I leave. Our goodnight song.

I call it my mother's love, I love you.

I am full of these emotions that are new to me. It is a deep and warm feeling. This feeling makes me happy and sad. It stirs inside me great passion. A passion to do everything for my mother.

I need to go now. It is 1:46 am and the bed is calling me. But first I will read the next passage of the bible as I do every night before bed. And then pray. I pray to understand everything mom says, I pray to find the help I need to move to White  Rock. and get set up in an apartment.  I pray that mom lives and long and healthy life. I pray that GOD heals her arm and speech.

But I need to go.

GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland

The games with the PGT

Hello again

The games with the PGT continue. He is now making threats against me. Telling me he is not going to help me help mom. Getting her some night gowns.

As he states, that he will not help me until he gets the receipts for the TV and stereo. I turned in the receipts over a week ago now and that is that.

This it typical of the PGT. Making threats.

There is a new TV and stereo. cosmetics that I use daily. And even have caught the staff using them. Which I have to get a new nail and hand cream now. I just bought one and it is almost gone. I only use a very little on mom's hands at night.

Now mom is always very thirsty when I get their. She drinks allot. Especially the water. A bottle a day. I am going to have to write Coke. As the only products she likes happens to be Coke products.

Allot of people have been telling me about the good people out their. WHERE are they. As far as I am concerned I don't know of any good people. Everyday and in all my travels I don't come across anyone saying to me, Heh you look like you could use some help. What I get is Do you have this or that. Once in a while, I mean once it would be like to have someone say to me. You look like you need help and I am going to help you out, what do you need. Not very likely. I do say so myself.

I use to know Sunday Christians. I seek out help all the time for my mother and I. But I don't even get any response from anyone.

I have things I need to sell. But what I get are people who say they want it, take my address and phone number, tell me they are coming and no show. Wasting my time and my mother's as well.

I am always trying to find assistance for everything and nothing. I don't have an Internet connection. I am outside once again. It is 2:06 am and I am outside. This is the only way I can get a proper Internet connection. So I have an extension cord and sit on the patio. It is OK, it is nice outside.

Now mom and I am are working it out at the Al Hogg pavilion. I still don't want her to share a room.

I have ran out of groceries to make mom dinner's. She doesn't like allot of what is served to her. And they do not supply fresh fruit or healthy meal options.

Anyways it is now 2:30 am and I really have to go to bed.

So

GOD bless and good night.

Kris

Trying to write this blog

Hello again

So I am able to write today, I found an open Internet connection out back. So I am on the patio right now writing this.

First I noticed that a ICBC agent took a look at my blog. This is the agent that told me I had no case in the last accident that I had on board the bus. I am in worse condition now, as a result of this driver.

Second. I turned in a bunch of receipts to the PGT and now he is saying. Well what he said was. " I looked for the receipts. Where might I find them.

I turned them in over a week ago now. And I need one of them back, as the stereo I bought for mom is broken and have to return it. The CD player does not work. And the purpose of this purchase is so that I can burn music that mom loves and leave the disks for her to listen to when I am not their.

Now without this receipt I cannot return it. And am stuck with the stereo and having to purchase another one. Which I will do. Some how it will be done. And they are telling me that it is not their problem that I gave my comforters to my mother. They are not going to supply any money to purchase these items.

And I asked that mom get some nighties, and no response. They keep saying that the home supplies these items. But does my mother have to use a hospital gown to sleep in, when she can have nighties. Cannot my mother have a new comforter and pillow cases.

This is the problem I have had with them in the past. When mom moved into a home in Abbostford. I asked for funds to get her furniture for her room. considering my sister's took everything my parents owned when they conned them into selling their house.

They said does she need it. Yes she did and yes she does. I ended up purchasing the furniture myself and was told to turn in the receipts for a refund. Did not happen. I was told the items were not pre approved, so no refund will be given.

They behave the same way now. As other's say. And yes other's have the same problem as I do. They act as if they are gods. We all know what happens to false gods. And to those who act without impunity. Or think that no one can touch them. As the PGT thinks. This is what they say. Go a head and take the PGT to court.

As it will take allot of money or a pro bono lawyer to sue the PGT.

The PGT has made many, many promises to me and have kept none of them. Other wise I would be living in White Rock now.  And not having to travel 3 hours a day to get their and 3 hours a day to get back.

I will repeat myself again. I will spend my last dollar on my mother, before I buy myself anything. Hence, loosing 80 lbs, having clothing that is way to large for me. I can get another person into some of the shirts I own. And the pants are all bunched up now. As I have been putting more and more holes into the belt I own. I am continuing to loose weight. And getting smaller.

This is may sound disgusting, but I now have allot of loose skin. Not fat, but loose skin. I lost weight to fast and did not and can not work out to tighten the skin. I can workout my upper body. But nothing for my legs as my knee cannot take any strain. As it is I am in pain all the time. From carrying everything I carry, without the proper bags to do so.

Now I need to be in White Rock, my mother needs me their more often than I am at the present time. I need to be able to get their at a moments notice.

The weekend are bad for mom. I see mom at her worse. And it is OK with me. Tonight when I arrived mom was very upset. She was vocalizing her anger and no one was even paying any attention to her.

This last week, mom has been very dehydrated. I get their and mom drinks allot. And continues throughout the night.

She is upset that they expect her to go to the washroom in her pants. They won't take her to the washroom. Another benefit of Oceanside. Saying mom is incontinent. Which is somewhat true. If you can't get to the washroom and the people who are their to help you. I guess you go in your pants. I would.

I keep saying that if Oceanside and Riverview can take her to the washroom, you can too. This is a human rights violation. Plain and simple. Now I have to phone them and file a complaint against the Al Hogg pavilion.

I will give this to the staff at Oceanside. They took mom to the washroom and did pay attention to my mother. Kept her clean. Not as much as I wanted them to. But I am her son and I want allot and I want the best for my mother and the best care possible.

Mom was angry and she did not eat much. It is hard to do when you have to go to the washroom. This is one of my main problems. They keep giving mom Tylenol and this causes constipation. So then they give mom a laxative. This is ruining mom's stomach. And excessive  and prolonged use of Tylenol can cause liver damage.

On top of mom having Dementia. I still believe it is the result of a stroke that has the speech problem. Not from Dementia related symptoms. Once again there has never been a complete checkup for mom.

There are many tests that are needed before anyone should be classed as have Dementia.

I will list these tests in a further blog.

But I got mom to eat a bit tonight. I brought garlic prawns, she only ate a few of them. I brought her favorite salad. She only ate a little bit of it. Thank GOD I brought fruit for her. She ate the Korean Mellon, an advocate and some cheese and a chocolate and banana pudding. So I guess she ate quit a bit.

Then she just wanted to have her spa treatment done. She loves this and I love giving the spa treatment to her. She looks forward to it. Because mom gets completely relaxed before bed. She especially likes it when I wash and massage her feet. Well it is when I pour all the water over her feet to rinse them. Hot water. Actually 3 bottles of water, progressively hotter water. Never burning hot.

But what is great is when I finish the spa treatment. I hold mom's hand or she holds my hand. Mom just goes into a relaxed and tranquil state of being. She falls asleep allot of the time.This is where I would like to put her to bed and sit with her holding her hand while she falls asleep.

These are some of the many reasons I need to be in White Rock now. Especially now that it is nearing Summer and better weather. I can go over their and take her out.

It is 2:12 am and I am cold. I need to go in and go to bed. First to see if the laundry is done.

GOD bless and good night

Kris