Hello again
So tonight mom did not slap or punch me. A good day over all. I guess.
I had this 7 layer dip, that she loves, her big salad, plus she ate part of the meal provided by the home. Mom was full and tired now.
So I got her into bed and gave her the nightly spa treatment. Thank GOD for this one care aid, who is back. She gets mom changed before 7 pm. This is the time which I have constantly asked them to do her by. As I have a 2- 3 hour bus journey home at night. It is hard to get home at 11:00 pm and get things done.
Of course mom received her nightly foot massage. This just puts her to sleep. I can see her eye's trying to stay open. Oops there they go, closing. Mom listens to Diana Krall and is just completely relaxed.
I didn't get to put lotion on mom's hands and arms. As I did not want to fuss with her. Just let her go to sleep.
Pretty un eventful evening with mom tonight.
But I did tell her that she makes my life better, by just being their with her and helping her out. It is completely true. It is a blessed opportunity that GOD has given me.
I just wish I could get the financial assistance that I so need to be able to make mom's life even better by me living out their. Being close to her. To love her even more. To show her that someone actually cares enough for her.
This is true, even now, living so far away. But to live their and be close to her. To be able to take her out and show her around. To take her to the beach. To bring her over for lunch.
This is love of your parent. This is what GOD wants us to do.
So now for some of my bullshit.
I guess it is time, once again, to start to picket, letter write, or hand out flyer's in front of the PGT's office. They are starting with their broken promises again.
They know I want and need to move to White Rock and they know why I need to be their. For mom. To make sure mom is treated properly. Is taken care of the way she should be. To be close by to just stop in at any given time. To confuse the staff. So they are on their toes all the time. They know exactly when I arrive and when I leave.
Now, being out there, I can deal with the management, the staff and the doctor. Whenever I deem it is necessary.
But they seem to forget promises they make. Or the fact that I will not back down. It is easy to print out letters and to go and stand out front of their offices and hand the letter's out.
But in my research, actually, with the help of a friend. I am reaching out to an organization that knows what the PGT is all about.
So I wrote them this evening and we will wait and see.
Time to go and watch some of the programs I downloaded this evening.
GOD bless and good night
Please pray that the fiances I require come to me.
Thank you
Kristopher W. A. Schmuland
Friday, February 15, 2013
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Alone
Hello again
Well it has been two weeks now and mom is still being aggressive. Tonight, out of the three and half hours I was their. I was only not hit for about one half hour. I am OK if mom hits my shoulder, but the shoulder is not good enough. Mom wants the head and allot of times that is where I get it. On the left side of my head.
I know it is the disease that is causing this. But it hurts me, not just physically, but emotionally as well. OK I may be a big baby, and I do sometimes cry over this. It is hard to endure. For two weeks straight now. Well except for one day. That has been it.
She was constipated, due to the excessive use of Tylenol products. And I believe her sleep pattern is being disturbed, by the staff turning her bed to a different angle.
This I caught the other day. I left my phone behind. Got on a bus and then realized it. Got off at the next stop and walked back. When I got their, mom's bed was moved from the position that I need her bed to be in, nightly.
Facing east-west, with the sunrise and sunset. Balance with the earths movements. But I arrived and found mom's bed was north-south. And the nurse came running in and gave me some lame excuse that mom was almost falling out of bed. There are guard rails up. I make sure of this, every night when I leave. Then yesterday I checked the care sheet and of course this is what they do when I leave at night. They go in and change the position of the bed.
Of course mom's sleep pattern is off. On top of this, her roommate needs her medication changed. She is hallucinating and seeing and talking to no one through-put the night. Keeping mom awake.
Tonight being Valentines Day, I made mom the salad she loves, plus a pork steak(BBQ) She ate most of the salad, but did not even want the steak. She would not even eat the roast beef dinner the home provided. Only most of the salad and her papaya and chocolates. But all the way throw dinner I was ducking her slaps and punches.
Even after getting her into bed, and giving her a foot massage and washing her face. arms and legs. She still was angry.
I really worry about this. As I don't want mom to have a heart attack or another stroke. I try to calm her down, through breathing exercises. But nothing tonight. She just didn't want to be fussed with and wanted me to go.
I had to go anyway to get my prescription for vertigo and my dizziness.The doctor is trying to find out why I am falling over to the right all the time.
This is the first in a series of test I need done. He believes I might of hand a small stroke. Hence the inability to use my right hand and the tingling on the right side of my face. So I am awaiting a MRI for this. I am forgetting how to spell the simplest of words. Dropping things all the time, I am getting weaker and weaker on my right side.
I am going for a hearing test on Monday. To see if this is causing my falling.
But do you think anyone gives a crap that I am falling apart and my health is deteriorating
Now to another issue. I mentioned I found a place and worked out a great deal. Well I found out that the couple let the place go today. They were sorry. But they needed to rent it out. Of course they rented out for the asking price. The deal was for me and because of what I am doing. And my ill health.
I didn't tell them soon enough. Well I have absolutely nothing to of moved in with. That damn evil thing called money.
I would of only had a bed to move in with. Nothing else and no way of getting anything else. Yes there is a place I could get free furniture, but no way of getting it out to White Rock. I don't have a car/truck.
And then there is everything else. Pots and pans, dishes and cutlery etc..........
So it seems I am stuck in Coquitlam. This is not a good thing for me. I really feel stuck out her. So far away. And part of me getting this doctor is me living in the White Rock area. That is a rule they have. Just fucking great. I finally find a doctor and other things and this happens today. Loosing the place.
There is another place. Which is only a block away. But this I need additional money for. Can't get a deal on this place. I tried. Nice and new. Only $775. Including everything. Well not furnishings. But a block away. I walk out of mom's place down the street. The next street behind the hospital. You can see mom's home from this place. Standing on the front porch. Perfect. A nice gas fireplace and newer appliances. Not huge, but big enough for me.
I really need help right now. An influx of money. I pray and pray. GOD know I travel 6 hours a day and don't get home until 10:30 pm nightly. He knows I don't eat all the time. And HE knows I am willingly doing this for mom. See needs someone to be there for her. Not to be left alone. Like most of the other people are.
There is no one that I have seen in the last many years that do what I do, be there everyday for mom. And have for years and years. No one even stays as long as I do every night. I am there, sometimes, 4 hours in a day. Not a single person. I know, I see the family come and go. I know who is there allot and who only comes once in a while.
There is no one as dedicated to their parent as I am. I am proud of this.
Well time to go. I am sick and tired of this bullshit life I live. Where nothing turns out. No matter how much good I do for others. I don't do any of what I do for the benefit of anyone else but mom.
GOD bless and good night
Please pray for me and help if you can
Kris Schmuland
Well it has been two weeks now and mom is still being aggressive. Tonight, out of the three and half hours I was their. I was only not hit for about one half hour. I am OK if mom hits my shoulder, but the shoulder is not good enough. Mom wants the head and allot of times that is where I get it. On the left side of my head.
I know it is the disease that is causing this. But it hurts me, not just physically, but emotionally as well. OK I may be a big baby, and I do sometimes cry over this. It is hard to endure. For two weeks straight now. Well except for one day. That has been it.
She was constipated, due to the excessive use of Tylenol products. And I believe her sleep pattern is being disturbed, by the staff turning her bed to a different angle.
This I caught the other day. I left my phone behind. Got on a bus and then realized it. Got off at the next stop and walked back. When I got their, mom's bed was moved from the position that I need her bed to be in, nightly.
Facing east-west, with the sunrise and sunset. Balance with the earths movements. But I arrived and found mom's bed was north-south. And the nurse came running in and gave me some lame excuse that mom was almost falling out of bed. There are guard rails up. I make sure of this, every night when I leave. Then yesterday I checked the care sheet and of course this is what they do when I leave at night. They go in and change the position of the bed.
Of course mom's sleep pattern is off. On top of this, her roommate needs her medication changed. She is hallucinating and seeing and talking to no one through-put the night. Keeping mom awake.
Tonight being Valentines Day, I made mom the salad she loves, plus a pork steak(BBQ) She ate most of the salad, but did not even want the steak. She would not even eat the roast beef dinner the home provided. Only most of the salad and her papaya and chocolates. But all the way throw dinner I was ducking her slaps and punches.
Even after getting her into bed, and giving her a foot massage and washing her face. arms and legs. She still was angry.
I really worry about this. As I don't want mom to have a heart attack or another stroke. I try to calm her down, through breathing exercises. But nothing tonight. She just didn't want to be fussed with and wanted me to go.
I had to go anyway to get my prescription for vertigo and my dizziness.The doctor is trying to find out why I am falling over to the right all the time.
This is the first in a series of test I need done. He believes I might of hand a small stroke. Hence the inability to use my right hand and the tingling on the right side of my face. So I am awaiting a MRI for this. I am forgetting how to spell the simplest of words. Dropping things all the time, I am getting weaker and weaker on my right side.
I am going for a hearing test on Monday. To see if this is causing my falling.
But do you think anyone gives a crap that I am falling apart and my health is deteriorating
Now to another issue. I mentioned I found a place and worked out a great deal. Well I found out that the couple let the place go today. They were sorry. But they needed to rent it out. Of course they rented out for the asking price. The deal was for me and because of what I am doing. And my ill health.
I didn't tell them soon enough. Well I have absolutely nothing to of moved in with. That damn evil thing called money.
I would of only had a bed to move in with. Nothing else and no way of getting anything else. Yes there is a place I could get free furniture, but no way of getting it out to White Rock. I don't have a car/truck.
And then there is everything else. Pots and pans, dishes and cutlery etc..........
So it seems I am stuck in Coquitlam. This is not a good thing for me. I really feel stuck out her. So far away. And part of me getting this doctor is me living in the White Rock area. That is a rule they have. Just fucking great. I finally find a doctor and other things and this happens today. Loosing the place.
There is another place. Which is only a block away. But this I need additional money for. Can't get a deal on this place. I tried. Nice and new. Only $775. Including everything. Well not furnishings. But a block away. I walk out of mom's place down the street. The next street behind the hospital. You can see mom's home from this place. Standing on the front porch. Perfect. A nice gas fireplace and newer appliances. Not huge, but big enough for me.
I really need help right now. An influx of money. I pray and pray. GOD know I travel 6 hours a day and don't get home until 10:30 pm nightly. He knows I don't eat all the time. And HE knows I am willingly doing this for mom. See needs someone to be there for her. Not to be left alone. Like most of the other people are.
There is no one that I have seen in the last many years that do what I do, be there everyday for mom. And have for years and years. No one even stays as long as I do every night. I am there, sometimes, 4 hours in a day. Not a single person. I know, I see the family come and go. I know who is there allot and who only comes once in a while.
There is no one as dedicated to their parent as I am. I am proud of this.
Well time to go. I am sick and tired of this bullshit life I live. Where nothing turns out. No matter how much good I do for others. I don't do any of what I do for the benefit of anyone else but mom.
GOD bless and good night
Please pray for me and help if you can
Kris Schmuland
Monday, February 11, 2013
A holiday
Hello again
Today in British Columbia, Canada is the first ever Family Day. For me being single, it was a waste of a business day. To get things done. All government offices where closed. And anything related to such.
But it was easy to get to White Rock today. Fairly quick. Well OK, the same amount of time. But it seemed easy. It was quick on the way home. I left at the usual time and got back, in my door at 9:30 pm. An hour earlier than usual. Leaving White Rock at the same time.
All that aside, I am not doing well. Not good. It is becoming increasingly more difficult to travel. Because of the pain I am in.It is becoming more and more difficult, over the last few months, to use my right arm and hand. I am dizzy and falling, often. But I will continue to go to White Rock until I find an appropriate place in White Rock. OK. yes. I have a place I found and have arrange a great deal for myself. But, again, it is the issue of money. That bullshit money.
I would be their already if it were not for money. I know, looking after mom, I need to sacrifice things, and I do it willingly. But to have to give up quality of life. Because of money. That is pure BULLSHIT
I don't need brand new furniture or appliances. I just need something. I really do not have anything. Yes it is because I am disabled and/or have no funds. And I chose to take care of mom. I just want to be closer to her. It it so wrong to want to look after your mother when she is very ill. Is it wrong to want to be their for her. Is it wrong to do everything one could and can do for their parent. Especially since they looked after you, when you were constantly being injured or in and out of the hospital, growing up.
I THINK NOT! This is what I do and I love every minute of it. The PGT is a huge nuisance, So many broken promises. So many un truths. They say one thing and when it comes down to it, Deny even saying it.
For once I would like for them to live up to their promises. If they did, I would not be so hard on them. Or I would write favorable reviews about them. Year after year.
You know I have allot of medical issues I need to address. Issues that are serious. Walking, using my right arm and hand.
I digress. Mom is what this is about, not me.
Mom, over the last few weeks, has been very tired and when she is this way. Mom is very aggressive. As in, she is constantly slapping me or punching me. She always goes for the face. And she is sneaky about it. It is funny how she does this sometimes. Mom will pretend she is all loving and then when I get close, she slaps me. I have learned this lesson the hard way. Many black eyes. It is part of the disease.
Individuals with Alzheimer's, are harder on their loved one's than anyone else. Harder on those closest to them. Mom will smile at others, but turn and slap me. I would rather she hit me than anyone else. I am tough, I can take it. But sometimes, emotionally, it is hard
It is the weekend and mom is not eating as she does during the week. No one has an answer for me, as to why this happens. I do, though her roommate is nice, she keeps mom up all night, by watching TV and having the light on.
I ask and ask, to move the roommate, and more people keep moving into the place, but they never do anything about it.
Another reason I need to be living their. So I can go into the place, during the day, to speak with the appropriate individuals about this and many other matters, that concern mom. Can't do it when I don't get their until 4:30 pm. When they are all gone home for the day.
GOD knows this, why isn't HE helping me. This is another big piss off for me. I pray and pray. I am reading the word everyday, many times a day, for that matter. The bible is on my phone and I read it while traveling, and at night before I go to bed.
So mom has been eating, again not much. She has been very thirsty, and she can't give herself a drink. I give her as much as she wants, while I am their. And I don't leave until I know mom has had enough to drink. She does eat her fruit, though. Which is great. A papaya a day, an avocado a day. Some Mango, kiwi. I have a few different types of cheese's for her. Which she loves with the avocado.
One thing mom does look forward to is her nightly spa treatment. And I have now included a foot rub. This she loves and knows it is time. And I think she forces the issue, by being aggressive, to get me to do this for her. Because, once I get her into bed and start the spa treatment, mom calms right down.
It is such a great feeling, when mom just wants to hold my hand while she falls asleep. Nothing compares to this. I hole her hand and put my other hand on her shoulder. Mom falls asleep with a smile on her face. I, then pack up and leave, very quietly.
I need to go now, I am experiencing the loss of movement in my right hand. Or it is not working correctly
GOD bless and good night all
Kris Schmuland
Today in British Columbia, Canada is the first ever Family Day. For me being single, it was a waste of a business day. To get things done. All government offices where closed. And anything related to such.
But it was easy to get to White Rock today. Fairly quick. Well OK, the same amount of time. But it seemed easy. It was quick on the way home. I left at the usual time and got back, in my door at 9:30 pm. An hour earlier than usual. Leaving White Rock at the same time.
All that aside, I am not doing well. Not good. It is becoming increasingly more difficult to travel. Because of the pain I am in.It is becoming more and more difficult, over the last few months, to use my right arm and hand. I am dizzy and falling, often. But I will continue to go to White Rock until I find an appropriate place in White Rock. OK. yes. I have a place I found and have arrange a great deal for myself. But, again, it is the issue of money. That bullshit money.
I would be their already if it were not for money. I know, looking after mom, I need to sacrifice things, and I do it willingly. But to have to give up quality of life. Because of money. That is pure BULLSHIT
I don't need brand new furniture or appliances. I just need something. I really do not have anything. Yes it is because I am disabled and/or have no funds. And I chose to take care of mom. I just want to be closer to her. It it so wrong to want to look after your mother when she is very ill. Is it wrong to want to be their for her. Is it wrong to do everything one could and can do for their parent. Especially since they looked after you, when you were constantly being injured or in and out of the hospital, growing up.
I THINK NOT! This is what I do and I love every minute of it. The PGT is a huge nuisance, So many broken promises. So many un truths. They say one thing and when it comes down to it, Deny even saying it.
For once I would like for them to live up to their promises. If they did, I would not be so hard on them. Or I would write favorable reviews about them. Year after year.
You know I have allot of medical issues I need to address. Issues that are serious. Walking, using my right arm and hand.
I digress. Mom is what this is about, not me.
Mom, over the last few weeks, has been very tired and when she is this way. Mom is very aggressive. As in, she is constantly slapping me or punching me. She always goes for the face. And she is sneaky about it. It is funny how she does this sometimes. Mom will pretend she is all loving and then when I get close, she slaps me. I have learned this lesson the hard way. Many black eyes. It is part of the disease.
Individuals with Alzheimer's, are harder on their loved one's than anyone else. Harder on those closest to them. Mom will smile at others, but turn and slap me. I would rather she hit me than anyone else. I am tough, I can take it. But sometimes, emotionally, it is hard
It is the weekend and mom is not eating as she does during the week. No one has an answer for me, as to why this happens. I do, though her roommate is nice, she keeps mom up all night, by watching TV and having the light on.
I ask and ask, to move the roommate, and more people keep moving into the place, but they never do anything about it.
Another reason I need to be living their. So I can go into the place, during the day, to speak with the appropriate individuals about this and many other matters, that concern mom. Can't do it when I don't get their until 4:30 pm. When they are all gone home for the day.
GOD knows this, why isn't HE helping me. This is another big piss off for me. I pray and pray. I am reading the word everyday, many times a day, for that matter. The bible is on my phone and I read it while traveling, and at night before I go to bed.
So mom has been eating, again not much. She has been very thirsty, and she can't give herself a drink. I give her as much as she wants, while I am their. And I don't leave until I know mom has had enough to drink. She does eat her fruit, though. Which is great. A papaya a day, an avocado a day. Some Mango, kiwi. I have a few different types of cheese's for her. Which she loves with the avocado.
One thing mom does look forward to is her nightly spa treatment. And I have now included a foot rub. This she loves and knows it is time. And I think she forces the issue, by being aggressive, to get me to do this for her. Because, once I get her into bed and start the spa treatment, mom calms right down.
It is such a great feeling, when mom just wants to hold my hand while she falls asleep. Nothing compares to this. I hole her hand and put my other hand on her shoulder. Mom falls asleep with a smile on her face. I, then pack up and leave, very quietly.
I need to go now, I am experiencing the loss of movement in my right hand. Or it is not working correctly
GOD bless and good night all
Kris Schmuland
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