And now for something................

Hello again

I will start this blog tonight with what has been said to me, allot, lately.

You chose this life.

Did I choose to get in a car accident and have to wear this hard plastic back brace for over a year and a half, because I fractured my back in the accident.

Or did I choose to be on board a bus that crashed.

Or being rear ended while at a stop sign

And having to be in pain all the time, having to take pain killers( mild) To have to walk with a cane now. And maybe for the rest of my life.

Did I choose for my back to go out all the time. And walk doubled over in pain.

Did I choose to be poor, because of this. Or to live in a place I don't want to, because I can't afford to live where I want to. In White Rock.

I think not!

Because of this my life has been ruined. Bad credit, living below the poverty line. Having to take the bus, because of the accidents, and my doctor telling me I can't drive right now.

It seems that my blog is not read that much when I only write about mom. And not bitch and complain. Maybe I am wrong.

It is raining like crazy here in Vancouver. But I can take the rain, compared to the weather in the rest of the country.

Mom is great, considering that she has dementia and has many small strokes. It is a honor to be able to look after mom as I do. A blessed opportunity.

I had some cod in the freezer, so I pouched it in lemon/butter sauce, with fresh ground pepper. She loved this. I served this to her with a nice grain salad. Plus she had some 7 layer dip and crackers left. And of course her fruit.

It feels great, inside, that mom loves to hold my hand and doesn't want to let go.

I got a little bit of money today, so I stopped by this bakery and picked up some petite pastry's mom likes. She knows the bag they come in and when she saw them, her face lit up. The only thing is I have to limit mom or she could eat all of them.

I have this problem, as my father sat down and ate a whole bag of Halloween candy and latter that night had a serious stroke. Which lead to his quick passing. Not even a year after this happened. So it freaks me out when mom eats to much sugary products. I have a problem when she eats, nightly, the Lindt three pack of chocolates. They are very sweet.

I know she will be OK, but I hate that I have to limit mom. I feel really bad about it.

But over all mom is in great health.

Myself, I am just tired. Slept in 2 hour increments last night. Just kept waking up. I have no idea why. And I have been really tired allot lately. So I go to bed, after I download the nights shows, and watch one or two of them. 1 1/2 hours for two shows. No commercials. I haven't even been eating. If you call eating bread, eating.  That's what I have. Remember, the $75.00 worth of grocery gift card I had where stolen, with my bus pass money. That was my and mom's groceries for the month. I make dinners for her! If there are left overs I bring that home and have that for dinner. Usually mom eat all of it. Which is a good thing. I need to her to keep her health up. And making and mom consuming healthy meals is the way to do it. Plus the supplement she gets daily and everything else I give her.

Really, I do not eat like mom eats. Not at all.

Anyways, I am going to make toast this evening. And go to bed and watch a couple of shows. Hopefully I will be able to get to sleep early and not wake up every 2 hours, like the last few nights.


GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland

Raincouver

Hello again

So another day and I was completely soaked today. A few times. I don't have a jacket to keep me dry. Just can't afford it.

I need to get groceries, I can't afford to keep buying mom dinners. I had plenty, the gift cards, but stolen. I got mom a beef rap. She likes these. The taste. She was hungry and ate all of this plus part of her meal that was served to her.....

Tonight I was able to wash her hair after dinner. It makes her feel so good. Relaxes her. I got her changed for bed and did her dishes while the staff changed her pad. When I got back in the room, mom was curled up with the comforter I got for her this Christmas. She really likes it.

Spa treatment and lotion. Then I just held her hand while she fell off to sleep. When the staff member came in to give her the nightly medicine. I called mom's name and she sat up straight. She really was fast asleep. After I gave her a snack and held her hand again. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep again.

I sang our good night song and I had to leave. I stayed longer than normal. But I needed to do this. I really need to get at it to find a place out their.

So this is a quick one tonight. I will finish what I wanted to write about tonight. Too tired

GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland

Where

Hello again

Well it is wet this day, but still better than anywhere else.

Of course mom was extremely happy to see me today. I brought her a Bento dinner, which she enjoyed immensely.

Mom wanted to eat in her room this evening, which is nice and private, since it was her roommates bath night and she was up and out of the room. So we had a peaceful dinner. As she didn't eat much last night, she made up for it tonight.

She was very affectionate this evening, not wanting to let go of my hand, and wanting hugs. OK with me. I don't have much compassion for most people,  due to my depression, but I have loads of it for mom.

It was quick to get her ready for bed. I let the staff get her pad changed and when I returned mom, was ready for sleep.

I gave her a quick spa treatment, which gave me plenty of time to just stand there and hold her hand while she fell off to a deep slumber

Not much happened in my life today.

I have some things to write but another night.

Someone recently told me that I chose this life. Tomorrow I will answer this!

GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland

Is it time

Hello again

Yes it is cold everywhere else but here in Vancouver, BC Canada. But it it cold to me. No long sleeve shirts. No winter jacket. I am cold. The landlord keeps turning down the heat.

It has been ruff for the last week, since I was robbed. No groceries, but I am able to go see mom daily. Nothing is changing this way. Which is good. I can't miss any days, mom counts on my being their.

Mom was very tired tonight, I was able to scrounge some cash together( I took a bunch of empties in, and made mom meatballs and lemon rice. Well she didn't like the rice and ate a few of the meatballs. I am an excellent cook, but I find it hard to make moist meatballs. I have tried many different methods, but still dry.

When mom is very tired, she is not that hungry. They served roast beef and mashed potatoes, plus squash. Mom only ate a little bit of that dinner. I did, manage to get mom to eat the papaya and allot of her smoothie. She only ate 1/2 a avocado, this is when I know she is tired and not hungry.

So I did the dishes and brought her to her room. I changed the entire bedding tonight. Put the cleaned Duvet cover on the comforter, changed the sheets and pillow cases. So mom got into a cleaned and fresh bed. I could see that she was happy and comfortable and she seemed very warm.

The nurse brought mom her nightly medicine early, so I gave mom the drinks she likes before I leave. After this, it was lights out for mom. Dead tired and fell fast asleep, quickly. I put some of her fresh washed clothing away, took down some more of the Christmas decorations, packed up and then stood their and held her hand for half an hour while I made sure she was fast asleep before I left

She looked very comfortable and peaceful.

Myself I am writing this eating crackers, which is my dinner. When finished I am just going to watch a few shows, that I just downloaded and hopefully fall asleep early. Even if it is just falling asleep on top of the bed at first.

I really need to find a place in White Rock.

You know, I have been trying to solve the theft problem. But there seems to be know one, or agency who actually cares. They tell me to go to the food bank. Well I do and they haven't opened up yet. Next week is the first week of the new year.

Anyways no one cares, so why write about it................

GOD Bless and good night

Kris Schmuland