Hello again
My mother has a terminal disease, this disease is Alzheimer's. There is no cure. Our loved one's will pass away from this disease. Their minds will forget how to do everything. Even forget how to work their hearts.
I have seen my mother go through many changes over the years. I was reminded of one of them this evening. How mom forgot how to use a phone.
When mom moved into her first seniors home. I got her a phone. But it was a phone with large buttons and 3 buttons on the top for direct dialing. This was OK at first and then once she moved into another home. Mom was forgetting how to even use these buttons. Then mom forgot how to answer the phone its self. She would pick the receiver up, but not put it to her ear. I would yell into the phone for mom to put the phone to her ear.
I even tried to teach her. But to no avail. She simply forgot how to operate a phone. Again I remember this tonight, while having a conversation about another person with Dementia/Alzheimer's. She could speak still at this point. After this she had the stroke which took her speech away. A few years later, she was not able to walk anymore and now is completely dependent on others for all her needs.
This was just a brief synapses of her last several years. I wasn't until mom moved to Coquitlam that I started to write this blog. OK not this one. I was on WordPress until they shut me down due to a possible law suit. From Riverview Hospital. So I started this one on Blogger I have all the one's from WordPress but have not published them on Blogger. I will though.
So again the last few days, others have been saying that I will be blessed for what I am doing. Looking after mom. So once again, I say to these individuals and to GOD, I don't want to be blessed later on. I need to be blessed at this time. I mean NOW. I want to be blessed now, so I can move to White Rock, buy a van and have a wheel chair lift installed. Get my own place to have mom over. And also to have mom's aunt over for dinners or a lunch. She lives close by mom. But mom's aunts family does not even bring her to visit mom. They live 4 blocks apart. They drive, I don't. Otherwise I would pick up mom's aunt, my great aunt.
I need to be blessed now. I can't stand living here anymore. I hate living with Alcoholics. Especially a women Alcoholic. I don't drink or do drugs and I have nothing to say to either of the roommates. Nothing at all. And it is a waste of my time talking to either of them.
I have to live in my room. Which is nuts. I don't know what it is like to just relax in a living room. I am to old to live like this.
What I will say is this. I do complain allot about other things. As in not eating or having clothing that fits. Living closer to mom. Etc.......
But I do not and have not complained about looking after mom. I will never complain about this. I love my mother and I love what I do for her.
This is my life and is what I do for a job. And I love every minute of it. I would not have it any other way. Simple.
This is the most important thing I have ever done and will do and am doing. OK my education is up there, but know where close to this.
There is so much that I am learning. It is amazing. I love my mother more and more each and everyday. I actual care for someone else. That is important.
So being blessed would be a nice thing. But being blessed now. So I can do so much more for her.
Mom deserves this and every other thing I can do for her. To have the best possible life she can have.
I need to go now.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
The reality is
Hello again
I need to say this. Mom has a terminal disease! There is no cure for Alzheimer's/Dementia. All who develop it, pass away. It may be in two years or 10 - 20 years, but they pass away.
It is not a pretty thing. One forgets everything, including how to take a breath. To be able to chew, swallow.
It is a lonely disease. Your family abandons you. They stick you in a home and forget you exist. These are the things our loved one's have to deal with, everyday.
No one come to visit. I see this everyday. There is only a hand full of individuals that come to see their loved one's. And most of them don't come all that often.
OK I am unusual in the fact that I am their every single day. Without fail. And I don't stop going for any reason what so ever.
I just wish I can do more for mom. Allot more. Get her out, more often.
I wish I can live very close by to her. Now I live 3 hours by bus. If something where to happen to mom, in the middle of the night. I would not be able to get there until the morning. And this would crush me, and also bother mom.
Mom is the only one, on this planet who actually cares about me and loves me. And she knows I would do anything for her. She counts on me being their everyday.
I won't let her down. Never, never and never. I don't care.
I just wish I lived closer to her. I really can't live here anymore. I just hate living here. I dislike my roommates. I dislike living with drunks.
I don't drink or do drugs. I can't be around this.
Anyways I need to go, I am stressed out and tired. Plus I am sick of eating nothing. living on prayers.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
I need to say this. Mom has a terminal disease! There is no cure for Alzheimer's/Dementia. All who develop it, pass away. It may be in two years or 10 - 20 years, but they pass away.
It is not a pretty thing. One forgets everything, including how to take a breath. To be able to chew, swallow.
It is a lonely disease. Your family abandons you. They stick you in a home and forget you exist. These are the things our loved one's have to deal with, everyday.
No one come to visit. I see this everyday. There is only a hand full of individuals that come to see their loved one's. And most of them don't come all that often.
OK I am unusual in the fact that I am their every single day. Without fail. And I don't stop going for any reason what so ever.
I just wish I can do more for mom. Allot more. Get her out, more often.
I wish I can live very close by to her. Now I live 3 hours by bus. If something where to happen to mom, in the middle of the night. I would not be able to get there until the morning. And this would crush me, and also bother mom.
Mom is the only one, on this planet who actually cares about me and loves me. And she knows I would do anything for her. She counts on me being their everyday.
I won't let her down. Never, never and never. I don't care.
I just wish I lived closer to her. I really can't live here anymore. I just hate living here. I dislike my roommates. I dislike living with drunks.
I don't drink or do drugs. I can't be around this.
Anyways I need to go, I am stressed out and tired. Plus I am sick of eating nothing. living on prayers.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
I really don't know
Hello again
More and more people have been telling me lately, that GOD will bless me for taking care of my mother. I will be blessed in my after life and later on in my life.
Well I don't care about being blessed in my after life or later on in my life. I care about it now. So I can do more for mom. To take care of her in a better way. To give her more, to do more for her. To get mom out and see all the things she has missed over the last many years being locked up in a seniors home. Not being able to go anywhere. And not being taken out by her children. Especially her daughters, who one of them got the van that was taken away from me, so she could take mom out and do things with her and for her. But we all know, from my blog that this never happened and then over $50,000. of mom's funds where spent on a companion service. ( And these people, who claim to be mom's friend, are no where to be found)
And for me. I am disabled and am a complete looser. And can't even move closer to her, to do more during the day for her. Take her out. I can't afford to move. I have nothing, absolutely nothing. I can't even afford to move there, let alone afford a place of my own.
I am tired of living with people. Where I am at, it is not a safe environment for me. I was living with only one drunk. Now I am living with two drunks. And the worst part of it, is one of them is a 38 year old women. Nothing is worse than a 38 year old drunk women. Who thinks she has all the answers. It has been only a month since she has been living her and she constantly wakes me up at night. Even though I have asked her repeatedly to keep it down. I am tired of repeating myself. She is sleeping with two different guys, who support her.
I am a recovering alcoholic mind you I have been sober for many, many years. It is not good for me to live in this environment. I am tired of living in my bedroom. I can't have mom over. It takes me 3 hours each way to visit her and look after her.
As it is, my life is over once mom passes away. Nothing to live for. I am a looser. I look forward to helping mom each and everyday. I don't look forward to coming home. I start to get angry the closer I get to my place. I don't have anything else to look forward too in my life.
Don't get me wrong, I am completely happy and fulfilled by looking after mom. I have no other life. This is OK with me. I want and need to do this for mom. It is what I do and who I am. I am mom's caregiver and I love this job.
So being blessed in my after life or later on. Is not going to work. As I am not going to be around much longer after mom passes away.
As it is I have to fight with mom's daughters over the funeral. Mom wants to be buried, and buried where her parents are buried. Mom is Catholic and this is the way she was raised. To be put back into the earth and I know my cheap ass sisters, who want mom to be cremated so they can save the money for their inheritance.
Now, I have not heard back from the PGT over mom's needs.
Mom's wrists are getting thin. She needs to gain a few pounds. I need to give her something nutritious.As in the Greens Plus. I need a delivery method and this is to put it in smoothies. So I need a blender for her.
He the, case manager, for mom at the PGT is pissed off at me right now. Sure I write about them, but I stopped naming, names. And I have been writing this blog for a very long time. And I am not about to stop this. Not for anyone's sake. I need to write about what is going on. And to let others know what it is like in the daily life of one who has Dementia and the caregiver for them.
These are mom's needs I wrote to the PGT about. Not mine. They just don't seem to get it. Mom is in need of these things.
She has a toe nail fungus. I thought I had it taken care of, but I didn't use the tea tree oil long enough. I stopped when I thought it was gone, Instead of continuing for another month or two after words. As a Dr. of TCM said to me, when I went and spoke to one, the other day.
The medical treatment is to invasive for someone of mom's age. It is to invasive for someone my age. This is why I have chosen the natural method of tea tree oil for mom's toes.
This is about what mom needs.
Yes I have a very lot of needs, but I am tired of asking. And asking GOD for help. This is not working out for me. Nothing I ask for or any of my needs are not or ever met.
I am just the looser I am. OK I have a decent education, but it is so old, it is worthless now.
Well time to go again. To bed is where I need to be. Nothing else to do. Tired of looking at an empty fridge or cupboards.
So GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
More and more people have been telling me lately, that GOD will bless me for taking care of my mother. I will be blessed in my after life and later on in my life.
Well I don't care about being blessed in my after life or later on in my life. I care about it now. So I can do more for mom. To take care of her in a better way. To give her more, to do more for her. To get mom out and see all the things she has missed over the last many years being locked up in a seniors home. Not being able to go anywhere. And not being taken out by her children. Especially her daughters, who one of them got the van that was taken away from me, so she could take mom out and do things with her and for her. But we all know, from my blog that this never happened and then over $50,000. of mom's funds where spent on a companion service. ( And these people, who claim to be mom's friend, are no where to be found)
And for me. I am disabled and am a complete looser. And can't even move closer to her, to do more during the day for her. Take her out. I can't afford to move. I have nothing, absolutely nothing. I can't even afford to move there, let alone afford a place of my own.
I am tired of living with people. Where I am at, it is not a safe environment for me. I was living with only one drunk. Now I am living with two drunks. And the worst part of it, is one of them is a 38 year old women. Nothing is worse than a 38 year old drunk women. Who thinks she has all the answers. It has been only a month since she has been living her and she constantly wakes me up at night. Even though I have asked her repeatedly to keep it down. I am tired of repeating myself. She is sleeping with two different guys, who support her.
I am a recovering alcoholic mind you I have been sober for many, many years. It is not good for me to live in this environment. I am tired of living in my bedroom. I can't have mom over. It takes me 3 hours each way to visit her and look after her.
As it is, my life is over once mom passes away. Nothing to live for. I am a looser. I look forward to helping mom each and everyday. I don't look forward to coming home. I start to get angry the closer I get to my place. I don't have anything else to look forward too in my life.
Don't get me wrong, I am completely happy and fulfilled by looking after mom. I have no other life. This is OK with me. I want and need to do this for mom. It is what I do and who I am. I am mom's caregiver and I love this job.
So being blessed in my after life or later on. Is not going to work. As I am not going to be around much longer after mom passes away.
As it is I have to fight with mom's daughters over the funeral. Mom wants to be buried, and buried where her parents are buried. Mom is Catholic and this is the way she was raised. To be put back into the earth and I know my cheap ass sisters, who want mom to be cremated so they can save the money for their inheritance.
Now, I have not heard back from the PGT over mom's needs.
Mom's wrists are getting thin. She needs to gain a few pounds. I need to give her something nutritious.As in the Greens Plus. I need a delivery method and this is to put it in smoothies. So I need a blender for her.
He the, case manager, for mom at the PGT is pissed off at me right now. Sure I write about them, but I stopped naming, names. And I have been writing this blog for a very long time. And I am not about to stop this. Not for anyone's sake. I need to write about what is going on. And to let others know what it is like in the daily life of one who has Dementia and the caregiver for them.
These are mom's needs I wrote to the PGT about. Not mine. They just don't seem to get it. Mom is in need of these things.
She has a toe nail fungus. I thought I had it taken care of, but I didn't use the tea tree oil long enough. I stopped when I thought it was gone, Instead of continuing for another month or two after words. As a Dr. of TCM said to me, when I went and spoke to one, the other day.
The medical treatment is to invasive for someone of mom's age. It is to invasive for someone my age. This is why I have chosen the natural method of tea tree oil for mom's toes.
This is about what mom needs.
Yes I have a very lot of needs, but I am tired of asking. And asking GOD for help. This is not working out for me. Nothing I ask for or any of my needs are not or ever met.
I am just the looser I am. OK I have a decent education, but it is so old, it is worthless now.
Well time to go again. To bed is where I need to be. Nothing else to do. Tired of looking at an empty fridge or cupboards.
So GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
It has been ruff
Hello again
So it has been a week now. And what has happened is mom has had dental issues. Through this mom has been overly chewing her food, leaving bits of food stuck in her mouth. This is a concern as mom could choke on it.
So they called me and told me that mom is being down graded from whole foods to minced foods. I noticed it and brushed her teeth really well each night.
I was just waiting to see if it was due to the dental issues she is experiencing. I told them that I noticed and was waiting for mom to have her dental issues taken care of and if it continued I was going to bring it up.
Well mom is loosing weight and this is not good. I need to get her to gain a few pounds, at least 5 or 10 pounds. And if mom is not going to eat what they serve, it is up to me to do something about it.
My thought is buy a blender, and Greens plus ( A powder that contains the essential nutrients one would need to sustain themselves) Make her fruit smoothies with the Greens Plus and maybe some vegetables. Using the smoothie to mask the taste of the Greens plus.
Well I wrote the PGT and await the answer from them. .
If this overly chewing and not swallowing properly continues. This simply means that mom is taking the next evolutionary step in her disease of Alzheimer's. Not a good thing. I am reminding her to swallow. In a nice way. She has no problems with her drinks though.
I know that this would be happening as she moves along. And am prepared for it. OK I am not. I know I need to accept this. As this is what happens. I saw this with my Grandfather and my father. But we don't know how long the next step in her disease is going to be. It has been a year since her last step in this disease.
This mom will drink/chew. She is not a fan of boast/ensure. I can barely get her to drink a single bottle of these. So the solution is to make her smoothies and try to get mom to eat as much of her dinner as I can
The problem with this is that, if mom is not wanting to eat it. I am getting slapped and punched. I can deal with it. It is part of her disease. But I still try to get her to eat as much as possible.
I scratch her head when it itches, I feed her, I wash her face every night. I give mom a foot massage nightly to calm her down and to help her get a good night sleep. I brush her teeth. I do all of this with a loving and caring heart.
OK I live on bread and tea most of the time. I really do mean this. Even though I am not to eat bread. This is all I have most of the time. And it is free.
I just realized I cannot even move. I am stuck here in Coquitlam. I have no money to move. Nothing at all. This sucks I have absolutely nothing. OK this computer and a few clothes that fit me. No TV and this sucks. No stereo, even a cheap one. I love music. But loosing my hearing is taking this enjoyment away from me. I have no way to move my belongings. I have all of mom's decorations, this is several boxes.
I have no bed or dressers, a desk or night stands.
I hate even coming back here at night anymore. I just don't want to be here.
I can't make anything out, clearly, after 10 feet. I really noticed this tonight. Could be why I have a headache all the time.
People keep telling me GOD is helping me. I don't think so. I am not believing in it anymore/right now.How can HE be helping me. GOD says, man can not live on bread alone. Well I am.
This has been the worst year of my life. Everything is going wrong and I need so much money. Just to be able to see and hear. $400 for glasses to see distance and $7000.00 for hearing aids. This does not include the money I need to move.
How can I move when I have nothing. To move to a place without anything. I mean not even ketchup. Really, I have no condiments.
OK I am a pathetic individual. I am a looser. But I am a looser who loves his mother and will do everything for her.
I am not going to ask GOD for anything anymore. Well this is because HE does not help me anyways. I am in pain all the time. I can't seem to get on disability, so I can actually live properly.
I am done
Good night to you all
Kris Schmuland
So it has been a week now. And what has happened is mom has had dental issues. Through this mom has been overly chewing her food, leaving bits of food stuck in her mouth. This is a concern as mom could choke on it.
So they called me and told me that mom is being down graded from whole foods to minced foods. I noticed it and brushed her teeth really well each night.
I was just waiting to see if it was due to the dental issues she is experiencing. I told them that I noticed and was waiting for mom to have her dental issues taken care of and if it continued I was going to bring it up.
Well mom is loosing weight and this is not good. I need to get her to gain a few pounds, at least 5 or 10 pounds. And if mom is not going to eat what they serve, it is up to me to do something about it.
My thought is buy a blender, and Greens plus ( A powder that contains the essential nutrients one would need to sustain themselves) Make her fruit smoothies with the Greens Plus and maybe some vegetables. Using the smoothie to mask the taste of the Greens plus.
Well I wrote the PGT and await the answer from them. .
If this overly chewing and not swallowing properly continues. This simply means that mom is taking the next evolutionary step in her disease of Alzheimer's. Not a good thing. I am reminding her to swallow. In a nice way. She has no problems with her drinks though.
I know that this would be happening as she moves along. And am prepared for it. OK I am not. I know I need to accept this. As this is what happens. I saw this with my Grandfather and my father. But we don't know how long the next step in her disease is going to be. It has been a year since her last step in this disease.
This mom will drink/chew. She is not a fan of boast/ensure. I can barely get her to drink a single bottle of these. So the solution is to make her smoothies and try to get mom to eat as much of her dinner as I can
The problem with this is that, if mom is not wanting to eat it. I am getting slapped and punched. I can deal with it. It is part of her disease. But I still try to get her to eat as much as possible.
I scratch her head when it itches, I feed her, I wash her face every night. I give mom a foot massage nightly to calm her down and to help her get a good night sleep. I brush her teeth. I do all of this with a loving and caring heart.
OK I live on bread and tea most of the time. I really do mean this. Even though I am not to eat bread. This is all I have most of the time. And it is free.
I just realized I cannot even move. I am stuck here in Coquitlam. I have no money to move. Nothing at all. This sucks I have absolutely nothing. OK this computer and a few clothes that fit me. No TV and this sucks. No stereo, even a cheap one. I love music. But loosing my hearing is taking this enjoyment away from me. I have no way to move my belongings. I have all of mom's decorations, this is several boxes.
I have no bed or dressers, a desk or night stands.
I hate even coming back here at night anymore. I just don't want to be here.
I can't make anything out, clearly, after 10 feet. I really noticed this tonight. Could be why I have a headache all the time.
People keep telling me GOD is helping me. I don't think so. I am not believing in it anymore/right now.How can HE be helping me. GOD says, man can not live on bread alone. Well I am.
This has been the worst year of my life. Everything is going wrong and I need so much money. Just to be able to see and hear. $400 for glasses to see distance and $7000.00 for hearing aids. This does not include the money I need to move.
How can I move when I have nothing. To move to a place without anything. I mean not even ketchup. Really, I have no condiments.
OK I am a pathetic individual. I am a looser. But I am a looser who loves his mother and will do everything for her.
I am not going to ask GOD for anything anymore. Well this is because HE does not help me anyways. I am in pain all the time. I can't seem to get on disability, so I can actually live properly.
I am done
Good night to you all
Kris Schmuland
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