A beautiful day and cold

Hello again

Today my back is a little better but still hurts allot.

I arrived to see mom, and being Saturday, was in bed. Now the TV was on, but no volume. This is how they are treating mom. Just like the staff member who, which is what I think happened to mom, smacked my mothers head with the lift bar. They are not doing anything about it. Everyone is commenting and asking what happened to my mother. It could of been done by accident, but still someone should of said something. If they did do this, I hope they feel really guilty every time they see this bruise.

I am just guessing as to what happened. But I did check it out and it is a perfect match to the end of the lift bar

That chicken ass staff member who,might of done this, could of killed mom. A little bit more to the left and it would of hit her temple. Mom could of been knocked right out. I don't know. Only the staff member who, may or may not of done this knows for sure.

This could be the same staff who have been destroying my mothers nightgowns. Who, with all the signs, where putting mom's nightgowns in the laundry. I have heard nothing about this either. The manager has not even given me back my receipts. I will have them for a few days, then I will give them back to you. Is what  she told me.  More BS.

Anyways I made mom a great dinner and she just loved it. Had our dessert. I changed her sheets tonight without even rolling her over. And it took no time at all. I did find it difficult to change mom into her nightgown, while in bed. Allot easier to do it, while she is in her chair.

But got it done. Just when I finished doing this, the staff member came in and changed her diapers. Giving me enough time to get the dishes done and go to the washroom. It is a very long journey out their and sometimes I just can't find a bathroom. So I wait until mom is being changed, before I go. A long time.

I did her spa treatment very quickly this evening, as I needed to get to a grocery store. Well a certain store. I need to get some Christmas lights. Red and gold ornaments on the tree,with Red lights. It has been with Blue lights for years now. Time for a change. Couldn't afford it, but have to do it for mom. I will just cut back on my smoking to make up for it.

Mom did not want me to leave, she was still awake. Not use to this. I will make sure I stay latter tomorrow night. I did, however, feel guilty and still do. I know she understood me, but still did not want to let go of my hand. After I do her spa treatment, I usually spend, at least half an hour, just holding her hand, making sure she is asleep.

Need to go now, very tired. Thinking about moving and why I can't find an affordable place. I will spend most of what I get each month on rent, just to get out their. But need to finish packing. To see what happens.

Just feel the need to pack. It is just repeating in my head. Just Pack. Just Pack. Just Pack over and over again. Need to do it. Even if it kills my back.

GOD bless and good night.

Kristopher Schmuland

Back to being Raincouver

Hello again

My back is still out and it is very sore. Especially when mom wants to give me hugs, holding my hand and pulling me. It is better than yesterday.

Well yesterday the residential client coordinator, gave me a call to let me know that there is  a bruise on mom's temple. I told her I know and it was caused by the lift. She wasn't sure and would check it out. Exact match to the bar on the lift. The part that bothers me the most is the staff member who did this, didn't even report it. Of course not, just let it go. I don't want to get into trouble. Is what they are thinking. And I brought this up with the manager and she is in denial that a staff member would do this.

Come on, abuse is happening in our care home, facilities all the time. And nothing is being done about it.

My goal is to do something about it.

Now it is tender, so I am not touching this area when I give mom her spa treatment at night.

Mom has a great appetite and eats almost everything I bring her plus the served dinner. She is very healthy.

Happy I would say. The problem is when mom wants to sleep, the roommate has the lights on and who knows when they are turned off. When your in bed all the time, you sleep and this keeps one up at night.  Not impressed with this. I have spoken with the manager and they said they are going to do something about it. But I will not be waiting weeks for something to get done. One week and I do what is necessary to get this women moved.

I read to mom, and mom listens to music. Not my problem if this women doesn't like music or me reading to mom.

I do what I can for mom. I want to do more. Yet it is finding a place in White Rock. I have even raised what I can't afford to pay for rent. I will pay a higher price, and figure everything else out once I am living their.

I was packing, but my back went out. No fault but my own. Didn't bend over properly while lifting and putting a heavy object down.

I will continue tomorrow morning, whether my back hurts or not.

The past few days, mom has been very affectionate. I don't mind this. As well as very tired. She is up all day long and doesn't nap. So you see why, when we are finished dinner and I am doing the dishes, mom is falling asleep in her chair.

This is the way mom wants it, or likes it, so this is what I do. Finish the dishes and get her ready for bed.

I am staying longer than I did before. Just to make sure mom is asleep when I leave at night. I want to bring some of her clothing home, but I don't want to be packing them up and bring them home, Then pack them up again and bring them back to White Rock.

I am confident that as soon as I finish packing I will find a place. Hopefully.

There is not much to tell today. Mom is doing fine. My back is killing me, but this doesn't stop me from getting out their to look after mom.

I am very tired today, barely slept last night. So I will continue tomorrow

GOD bless and good night.

Kristopher Schmuland

Ouch

Hello again

Today was not a good day for me. My back is in extreme pain today. I can barely stand up straight. Sitting or standing is painful.

And mom was overly affectionate today. Wanting to hold my hand and pull. Even though  I mentioned to her that my back was killing me. Wanting hugs and more hugs. Maybe she was feeling sorry for me and thought that by hugging me would be of comfort. I really just didn't want to be touched today. But I can't expect mom to understand that. It would be nice though.

As soon as I arrived mom was very affectionate. Immediately reaching for my hand and pulling me close to her.I tried, but sometimes I just needed to pull away and let go of her hand. It was just to painful.

Other than that. Lets see. Mom has a bruise above her right eye.Actually, it is 4 cm beside her eye and I asked what happened. No one could tell me. Then I have been thinking about it. There is a very distinctive straight line within her bruise. What could of caused such a line. Mom is in a wheelchair, Nothing for her to hit her head on. There is padding all of the bed.

Then on the way home it dawned on me. Yesterday, when I arrived mom was in her room. Facing the TV with her right side. Not usually the way they position her to watch TV in her room. Right next to the corner of the wall. It was not mom who pulled herself against the wall. She could not possibly pull herself that hard to cause such a bruise. It was when the staff member who positioned her, that this happened. They must of used some force to cause such a noticeable straight line.

I am saying straight up, that this is exactly what happened. No if's and buts about it. They are abusing her clothing. Destroying the nightgowns. And since I have complained about it. They are taking it out on mom, now.

Of course they will all deny that this happened and that they never abuse the residents. Bullshit I say. I have witnessed this happening over and over again. I saw a care aid, open handed, slap a resident. That is just one of the infractions I have witnessed. So they can say anything they want. This is what happened.

That is why mom was so very talkative yesterday. We can count the hours. It was the night staff who noticed the bruising on mom's face. And it takes 6 to 12 hours for a bruise to appear. It was not presenting while I was there, So it happened in the early afternoon. And this is why mom has been flinching allot lately. I thought something was up. Now I know.

And if any of you,who read this Blog are a care aid or nurse. You know dame well this happens all the time. But you deny it. To protect your job. '

Whoever is a care aid and are abusing anyone. You should be fired. And bared from every working in this business again.

You know who you are!

Other than that mom was in a good mood. As mentioned above. We finished dinner late and got her hair done, latter than usual. But it was OK.

I really can't believe how much mom has been eating lately. It is all good. I like it when mom has an appetite.

I am now going I am in real pain and need to lay down, flat on my back. I have to first sit, then roll myself onto my side, before I can lay flat on my back.

GOD bless and good night.

Kristopher Schmuland

A reply

I was going to write about our day, but I chose to include this letter that I wrote as a reply to a comment that was addressed to myself. Well emailed to me. From Olive Brutus

Again you are......................

I think you need to go back to school and learn to read. If you read the Blog, you would notice it states that this women is the one complaining to all who would listen. Not me. And that this women is nice to my face and does all of this when I am not around. Two faced is the proper word. 

This new roommate has only been their less than three weeks and started to complain within a week of her being placed in with my mother. 

If you understand anything at all about peoples behaviors, you should know that if I give into or they give into, anything this women complains about, she will want everything. It is obvious you have no idea how to read people.

First fool, I am not doing anything differently, than I do everyday for my mother. 

Secondly, I chose not to speak with the manager, yesterday, as I threw my back out and was not in any kind of mood to speak with her. If I spoke to her yesterday, I might of spoken out of pain and said things that would not be pleasant. So I decided to wait until today, when I feel a little better. Which I do. 

The manager is their everyday. And is available to speak with.  A dated letter needs to accompany  said conversation to prove that I addressed this issue and what my intentions are.  

And I did speak with the manager today and they are going to try to move her. Period.  We had a good talk today, as I felt better than yesterday and was as pleasant but firm.

Concerning the other roommate. I made complaints after complaints. But nothing was done until I filed a complaint with the Patient care quality office, that something was done about it. That is how mom was moved. 

You have no idea what lengths I have gone through to protect my mother. You would not have the balls to do what I have done. 

I will, however, continue to read to my mother, I will continue to sing to her, I will continue to play music for her. You are the ignorant one.  Why should my mother have to go without anything that makes her happy and keeps her healthy. I do not have the music on at a level that would be a bother to her. I only turn the volume up if there is no one in the room. When I leave at night, I face the stereo towards my mother and turn the music down.  I am not going to turn it down so low that mom cannot even hear it. Not going to happen.

You write, what about this poor women. 

And what about my mother, she is stuck in a wheelchair, can`t read for herself, can`t feed herself, can`t`even use her left arm,thanks to the side effects of the anti psychotic medication that the doctors at her previous places have given her.  It was a huge battle to get mom off of these drugs. Fighting with 6 different individuals, doctors, social workers, therapists, nurses etc. My mother is completely dependent on everyone for everything. 

This women can feed herself, can read for herself. All she wants to do is complain like you do.  You, like most people do not have it in them to do what I do. Who will fight and fight for the rights of someone who can`t defend themselves. This is not an insult to you or others. Some people have what it takes and others don`t. 

I will go to any lengths to defend  my mother. Whatever it takes, that is what I will do. 

You and the rest of my family have no clue what is going on.

Now, I do not use social media, except for  this Blog and a occasional tweet. I don't even have a Linkdin account.  I have contacted Linkdin and told them that is not my account and please remove it.  They are going to remove it within a few days. Thanks for the heads up. I do, however, have a facebook and Twitter account but don't use it, often. 

Again, if you don't like what I write, DON'T READ IT! 

REALLY!

I boils down to this. You are a selfish individual. You only write to complain. What about writing about the good that I do, not just for my mother but the other residents as well.  As well as the fact I am there everyday and have been as long as mom has been in White Rock, and years before this at all the places mom has lived. Once I arrive, the staff do not have to do anything for mom except change her diapers. What I do for my mother, no one would do this. I go to see her no matter what I feel like, in pain, depressed etc... I just don`t stop. Or the fact that my family does nothing except complain like you do. Or my family goes to visits. once a month or so, and just sits there and stares at each other. Like the morons they are. Including yourself. 

I have some nasty words for you but I will not lower myself to your level.  

Sincerely,

The Jerk

This women only writes to  try to insult me. I know she is well meaning. Concerned for herself and not be able to give to others. To reach out and help someone. Last year she wrote to brag about how her family helps people at Christmas. At Christmas is the key word.  Not any other time of the year, but at Christmas. 

I don`t brag to people about what I do. I don`t even like being given praise for what I am doing. It is simply the right thing to do. 

When asked what I do. I tell people I am but a humble individual who has been given a rare opportunity to do what is right in this world and care for someone else. That is what I do, and I leave it at that.

So I will write tomorrow about real issue and what has been going on.

GOD bless and good night

Kristopher Schmuland

Again, the same issue

Hello again

I didn't write last night, as I had to write a letter to the manager of where mom is. It seems this new roommate has been complaining, on a regular basis' about mom's music. And the staff have been turning mom's music off after I leave.

I was livid. Not only is she complaining about the music. She is also complaining about me reading to mom, singing to mom, having conversations with mom. Basically, she doesn't want me in the room.

This roommate has been saying, out loud, I just want peace and quite. If she wants peace and quite, she has the wrong room.

I will not stop singing to mom, talking to mom. Watching TV or movies with mom. And I especially will not stop reading to mom.

It has only been three weeks, maybe not even that long, and we have to put up with this nonsense. I don't think so. And mom agrees with me. I told her about the letter to the manager. Mom knows it was me, taking the necessary steps, the last time, to get mom moved. And mom is not moving again.

I will give them one week to move this women and then I will take action.

It is coming up to the holiday season and mom really enjoys this time of the year. The tree, the lights, the Christmas music we listen too. None of this is going to change.

Anyways.

Mom's appetite is great, she is eating everything and enjoying it. Last night we had our dinner, we got ready for bed and I quickly gave mom her spa treatment. Mom wanted me to hurry. She was just tired. Tonight ;she was awake, thirsty and hungry.

Today mom got her hair done, so I didn't need to wash it, It looked good. The nurse told me that the manager was in if I wanted to talk to her. Really, I thought. As soon as I get off of the elevator I can see that she was in.

It just so happens that this morning , while packing things and cleaning out my closet,  I feel as if I should get everything packed.I did something to my lower back. I knew it right away. It was painful. So today, I have been in extreme pain and walking as if I need to be using a walker. Bent over in agony. So I was in no mood to speak with the manager. I explained this to the nurse.

Most people would not even move, if they felt the kind of pain I am still feeling, but nothing stops me from taking care of mom. Nothing. No amount of pain. Off I went and just dealt with it.

I did explain this to mom. And she did understand. She held my hand tighter and reached for a hug. Several times.

No matter, we had our dinner. I made her a nice chicken Parmesan, in a marinara sauce. Grilled vegetables.

Then it was time to get her ready for bed. Mom was very helpful with this. Easily bending to help me undress her and dress her. I read to her, louder than usual. She was put to bed, I quickly. OK, not tonight. I just took my time with her spa treatment. Easier for me. Less painful. We finished early, so I had lots of time to stay with her, while she fell asleep.

I do enjoy these times. Just holding her hand.

It is that time of the year, where everyone turn into givers. If so give to those less fortunate than yourselves. It is about the giving, not the receiving. It took me a few years to get this. Sorry.

There are plenty of people, not just the homeless. But single mothers who would really like it if someone would surprise them and give them and their children a Christmas they aren't use too.

Go decorate their homes. Get them a tree.

Everyone thinks of the homeless at this time of the year. But there are many others who really need the help.Even if it just buying someone a coffee and sitting down with them and having a conversation.

You can find these less fortunate people through your local churches. They will point you in the direction of a needy single parent. Or a lonely senior.

A few years ago, when I did go to church, I tried to get a group of us to pick a family and give them the best Christmas they have had in years. It never happened. The group just kept saying lets pray over it. Maybe GOD doesn't want us to do this.

Is it not the act of giving of one's self and giving of love that GOD tells us to do all the time.

I wish that would of happened. I contacted a local organization and we had several names to choose from. Yet again, they couldn't get it done.

A group of you should get together and go to your local church and ask if there is anyone that needs a real Christmas, and make sure it happens. You only have to start with just one single mom, family, senior or a single deserving individual. Then next year do two. Then three. Get others involved. Get the church involved and do many families. OK I am getting a head of myself.

What I am glad about, is I get to be their with my mom on Christmas Eve and Christmas day.  That is all that matters to me. Noting else. It is the best Christmas present I can get. Another year to spend with my mother.

I have no idea how many more there will be. GOD willing, many more. I get to decorate her room, play Christmas music for her, and sing with her. I get to make her a Christmas dinner. Which I look forward to each year.

It would of been nice if I was living out their, so I could have mom over for Christmas dinner. Wouldn't that be nice.

Anyways back to the late night. Need to go. Back tomorrow.

GOD bless and good night

Kristopher Schmuland