Hello again
Raining and everyone is complaining about it. I say to them, it is a rain-forest that we live in.... It is fine with me. I said it before and will say it again. I like the sound,smell and feeling of rain.
I arrived to see mom smiling at me. It makes me feel loved. And I know it makes mom feel great. To know no matter what I will be their each day at a certain time. I would love to be their more often, But , we all know what the but is about.
So we did our thing, give mom drinks, feed her dinner. After dinner I brushed her hair, 100 strokes. I don't know. All I do know is mom loved it.
Oh yea, didn't get my finger checked out today, but now my whole hand hurts. Really hurting right now. It is not the first time I hurt myself and won't be the last. I would just like to feel it when it happens. So I am not wondering later on, what the hell happened.
I gave mom her spa treatment, being careful of her left shoulder, not to put any pressure on it. Her legs are bending more now. I can get her left hand opened a little bit. Working on it.
Then mom was relaxed and ready for me to sing along with the music and hold her hand. Mom just relaxes completely and then there is the smile as she falls asleep.
The case manager at the PGT is still putting me off. Three weeks now for an answer and none in sight. I am waiting for a response from the social worker. This is not going continue in this manner. I will start writing negative things about her. More so than I am now. I will start using her name. The PGT frowns upon this. Then they threaten to sue. I now laugh at them and let them know that it would be in my favor as I will be able to gain access to there files. To prove that I am not making these allegations up.
So it is Friday and I really should go see my doctor. I don't want to as he does nothing for me. I need to find another doctor. One that will actually listen. This time I will have a list of what ails me to give to them my first appointment. It will make things easier. A check list
I didn't sleep again last night so I am going to go to bed right after this. Try to sleep. Not sure, I am hungry and nothing.
Please pray for my mother and that I can get hearing aids and find a place.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Thursday, March 19, 2015
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Another crappy day
Hello again
I am just saying this as I am very tired, I barely slept last night. I don't know why, I was tried enough. Just couldn't sleep, no matter how hard I tried. I read, I watched a boring show (I have a few of these just for this occasion), I listened to some soft jazz, this only made me want to listen to more. Not even the medication I have for sleep helped me. Didn't work, okay, I slept for 2 hours after taking it and then that was it for the night.
I have also been falling allot today. I think I broke my pinky finger, It is purple and very sore. Oh well, I didn't even feel it happening. I have no idea what happened. It is hurting typing.
So I arrived today, to see mom's eye's, she was in pain, holding her left arm. That means one thing and one thing only. The staff were to aggressive with her this morning, getting her changed. I know exactly when mom hurts. I even asked her and she clearly said yes.
I got her to her room, gave her something to drink. She didn't even want much. I kept getting up and trying to find the nurse, but each time I could not find her. Finally I found her, after dinner, when I was going to wash mom's hair. And, during dinner, mom usually holds my hand and doesn't want to let go. But tonight, she just held her left arm. Didn't want to hold my hand, her arm was just to painful. So the nurse gave her something for the pain. Tylenol. This alone won't do much for pain. I need to get her to x-rays. I will have to leave really early. And just take her to the hospital, since I can't get a hold of her doctor.
After we washed her hair. I put a warm towel over her left shoulder, this helped a bit, and we went back to her room to change her. I was very careful when doing this tonight. And when I gave mom her spa treatment I did not rub her left arm. I just put lotion on it. Nor did I give her a neck massage. I will lay off of this for a few days. Until we find out what is the problem.
It wasn't long before mom was falling asleep. I packed and held her right hand for half an hour. Just to let her know, someone was there for her. Just as I did with both her hip surgeries. Just being there makes someone fell better.
I am done for now, I need to sleep and my right hand hurts.
My hearing was really bad today. I didn't hear the staff calling me. At the bus stop I didn't even hear the bus pull away..Or even the next one pull up. I was speaking with someone and had my back turned away from the bus stop. I am getting very upset at this.
I just don't have the $6000 it takes to get hearing aids.
I ask for your prayers again.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher Schmuland
I am just saying this as I am very tired, I barely slept last night. I don't know why, I was tried enough. Just couldn't sleep, no matter how hard I tried. I read, I watched a boring show (I have a few of these just for this occasion), I listened to some soft jazz, this only made me want to listen to more. Not even the medication I have for sleep helped me. Didn't work, okay, I slept for 2 hours after taking it and then that was it for the night.
I have also been falling allot today. I think I broke my pinky finger, It is purple and very sore. Oh well, I didn't even feel it happening. I have no idea what happened. It is hurting typing.
So I arrived today, to see mom's eye's, she was in pain, holding her left arm. That means one thing and one thing only. The staff were to aggressive with her this morning, getting her changed. I know exactly when mom hurts. I even asked her and she clearly said yes.
I got her to her room, gave her something to drink. She didn't even want much. I kept getting up and trying to find the nurse, but each time I could not find her. Finally I found her, after dinner, when I was going to wash mom's hair. And, during dinner, mom usually holds my hand and doesn't want to let go. But tonight, she just held her left arm. Didn't want to hold my hand, her arm was just to painful. So the nurse gave her something for the pain. Tylenol. This alone won't do much for pain. I need to get her to x-rays. I will have to leave really early. And just take her to the hospital, since I can't get a hold of her doctor.
After we washed her hair. I put a warm towel over her left shoulder, this helped a bit, and we went back to her room to change her. I was very careful when doing this tonight. And when I gave mom her spa treatment I did not rub her left arm. I just put lotion on it. Nor did I give her a neck massage. I will lay off of this for a few days. Until we find out what is the problem.
It wasn't long before mom was falling asleep. I packed and held her right hand for half an hour. Just to let her know, someone was there for her. Just as I did with both her hip surgeries. Just being there makes someone fell better.
I am done for now, I need to sleep and my right hand hurts.
My hearing was really bad today. I didn't hear the staff calling me. At the bus stop I didn't even hear the bus pull away..Or even the next one pull up. I was speaking with someone and had my back turned away from the bus stop. I am getting very upset at this.
I just don't have the $6000 it takes to get hearing aids.
I ask for your prayers again.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher Schmuland
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Back being.................
Hello again
It seems that this new case manager is always out of the office. She expects people to have to constantly wait for her. She never seems to do anything. Expect to tell me she needs time. Well time she has had. And I am waiting for her. She tells me that for me to call her last week, I was stopping her from getting in touch with the social worker.
This women is constantly contradicting herself.
Anyway I arrive to find mom in her room, by herself again. They tell me she was getting sick earlier today. So they left her alone, not even giving her anything to drink. In front of the TV. They even put the brake on the wheelchair. Where is she going to go. She can't push herself, with her left arm not working.
Whatever. NOT whatever.
I cleaned her up and gave her a kiss. And then gave her as much to drink as she wanted. Which, by the way, was allot.
Dinner was Sushi, easy on the stomach and the meat portion of her served meal.
Oh by the way, the women I wrote about, not making it past this week or earlier, passed away this morning at 7:50 am. I new her well and the gentlemen who passed away yesterday. I will miss the both of them. I spoke with each on a regular basis. Enjoying what they had to say. I would talk hockey with the women who passed this morning.
My mothers regular care aid is out with this flu, so we have this other women. This means she came in half hour late to put mom to bed. Now if I put her to bed, I would of already finished mom's spa treatment by the time the care aid came in
Other then this, mom was in a good mood. Doing well, not getting sick or got sick through out the night.
I continued to give mom drinks. And after the spa treatment mom drifted off to sleep, holding my hand tightly against herself. Listening to the soft music
I sang to her and let her sleep. I ended up leaving later,as I was behind schedule.
Please pray for me. Your prayers are for mom and I. They benefit mom, by me living in White Rock.
GOD bless and good night.
Kristopher Schmuland
It seems that this new case manager is always out of the office. She expects people to have to constantly wait for her. She never seems to do anything. Expect to tell me she needs time. Well time she has had. And I am waiting for her. She tells me that for me to call her last week, I was stopping her from getting in touch with the social worker.
This women is constantly contradicting herself.
Anyway I arrive to find mom in her room, by herself again. They tell me she was getting sick earlier today. So they left her alone, not even giving her anything to drink. In front of the TV. They even put the brake on the wheelchair. Where is she going to go. She can't push herself, with her left arm not working.
Whatever. NOT whatever.
I cleaned her up and gave her a kiss. And then gave her as much to drink as she wanted. Which, by the way, was allot.
Dinner was Sushi, easy on the stomach and the meat portion of her served meal.
Oh by the way, the women I wrote about, not making it past this week or earlier, passed away this morning at 7:50 am. I new her well and the gentlemen who passed away yesterday. I will miss the both of them. I spoke with each on a regular basis. Enjoying what they had to say. I would talk hockey with the women who passed this morning.
My mothers regular care aid is out with this flu, so we have this other women. This means she came in half hour late to put mom to bed. Now if I put her to bed, I would of already finished mom's spa treatment by the time the care aid came in
Other then this, mom was in a good mood. Doing well, not getting sick or got sick through out the night.
I continued to give mom drinks. And after the spa treatment mom drifted off to sleep, holding my hand tightly against herself. Listening to the soft music
I sang to her and let her sleep. I ended up leaving later,as I was behind schedule.
Please pray for me. Your prayers are for mom and I. They benefit mom, by me living in White Rock.
GOD bless and good night.
Kristopher Schmuland
Monday, March 16, 2015
A beautiful Monday
Hello again
I am tired of not being able to hear properly. I can't hear behind me and it is becoming an issue for me. As well as other's who think I am ignoring them. Several times this evening I had to explain to other's I could not hear them, that I have lost my hearing and the ability to hear behind me. It is best when I face people.
My freak-en shaking hand and not being able to hold things properly or at all. That is with my right hand. Is really getting on my nerves. I see a different Neurologist at the end of April.
I arrived to have mom sitting with other's, and she was awake. I guess they had her involved in some activities. Which is great for mom.
Now they have considered the outbreak over. The last symptoms were over 72 hours ago. But I am sad to say there was one casualty from this. flu. A very nice man. I knew him well, as well as his son. It was strange, as I rounded the corner, from the court yard. I had a, I guess a premonition, I said to myself where is, blank, I have not seen him is a while. Then my thought just went to he has passed away.
When mom was being changed I ask one of the staff, if blank had passed away today. She said yes.. I explained what happened just before I came in. These are things that happen to me allot. I just know. Just like one of the ladies is going to pass away within a week. Probably sooner. I said a month ago, to myself that this women only has less than a month. It does freak me out. though.
Back to mom. When she saw me, there was this big smile and I could feel her warmth. I proceeded to move mom and take her to her room for drinks and a little snack before dinner. I didn't have much, but I was able to get mom chicken for dinner this evening. She enjoyed it, but when the served meal came she wanted the roast beef. It is okay with me, she ate most of the chicken, then the roast beef. I don't blame her, I have been giving her chicken for a few days now. Time for something different. But she never refuses most things. As I stated, some times she doesn't like what I bring. Again it is okay with me. Not allot of people could live on chicken as I can. It was making me even more hungry than I already am. It is hard to go without when the smell of good food is all around you. I will survive, I will survive, I will survive. This I have to repeat to myself over and over again. As long as I can get through the first several days, my body will calm down. It is the these days that is the hardest when one is hungry.
I am trying. It is hard when you believe in GOD, and GOD will supply all your needs, and it is not happening.
So after mom's dinner, I got her changed. Can't put her to bed or I will get shit from the nurse and then the manager. As I did last week. So I just changed her, put a blanket over her, pulled the chair up and held her hand and sang along with the music that I put on for her. Mom will sing along with me. I like it that she allows me to do this for her, and to be a little bit goofy. It makes her smile. I try to dance with her.
I do say that mom loves Diana Krall, Michael Buble and Harry Connick Jr. After she was changed I put the stereo on shuffle and it was a Harry Connick Jr night. That is what played for the night and continued to play after I left, Which I did not leave until 8 pm this evening. I just wanted to stay.
All I wish to do is to be able to stay as late as possible. The lives of these residents are fragile. As seen by the one resident who passed away because of this flu and the other women who is about to pass away. This is why it is so important that I move to White Rock as soon as possible.
ONE JUST NEVER KNOWS. ALL OF A SUDDEN THINGS CAN CHANGE.
Our lives are finite It is best served that we not take anything for granted. To enjoy each other as much as possible. To not let our loved one's sit, alone and afraid. We need to be there for them. And we need to enjoy our journey's along our paths. Not constantly looking at the destination. It is the journey that matters. What we see and experience along the way. The beauty and the wonders that are put in our paths. And sometimes the weirdness that is people.
Sit and let our loved one's tell us about their lives. What we will learn will can both excite us and take our breaths away. We have only seen a small change in our universe. Our loved one's have been through it all. They were there for everything we take for granted now. The stories they can tell will surprise you.
Unfortunately my mother, not being able to speak, cannot tell me of her life growing up. I get to miss out on this. Because the stroke took her speech away. I didn't get to question my father and let him tell me what it was like and what happened through out his life. And I don't get to hear my mother tell me. This I will sadly miss. I want to know everything about her life. I just don't get this opportunity as most of you get to do.
Sit down with your grandmother, grandfather our whom every it is and ask questions, allot of questions. Get to know the real them. Not who you think they are, it is not real. Each of us have a story to tell but we get married, have kid, who have kids. And we are to busy providing for them to have them get to know the real person that they are. It will surely not expect what you hear.You think you know them, but you don't
This is why I need help, Help to move to White Rock. Help to hear. Help with your prayers.
GOD bless and good night
I will say this again. My mother is first in my life and I am last
Kristopher Schmuland
I am tired of not being able to hear properly. I can't hear behind me and it is becoming an issue for me. As well as other's who think I am ignoring them. Several times this evening I had to explain to other's I could not hear them, that I have lost my hearing and the ability to hear behind me. It is best when I face people.
My freak-en shaking hand and not being able to hold things properly or at all. That is with my right hand. Is really getting on my nerves. I see a different Neurologist at the end of April.
I arrived to have mom sitting with other's, and she was awake. I guess they had her involved in some activities. Which is great for mom.
Now they have considered the outbreak over. The last symptoms were over 72 hours ago. But I am sad to say there was one casualty from this. flu. A very nice man. I knew him well, as well as his son. It was strange, as I rounded the corner, from the court yard. I had a, I guess a premonition, I said to myself where is, blank, I have not seen him is a while. Then my thought just went to he has passed away.
When mom was being changed I ask one of the staff, if blank had passed away today. She said yes.. I explained what happened just before I came in. These are things that happen to me allot. I just know. Just like one of the ladies is going to pass away within a week. Probably sooner. I said a month ago, to myself that this women only has less than a month. It does freak me out. though.
Back to mom. When she saw me, there was this big smile and I could feel her warmth. I proceeded to move mom and take her to her room for drinks and a little snack before dinner. I didn't have much, but I was able to get mom chicken for dinner this evening. She enjoyed it, but when the served meal came she wanted the roast beef. It is okay with me, she ate most of the chicken, then the roast beef. I don't blame her, I have been giving her chicken for a few days now. Time for something different. But she never refuses most things. As I stated, some times she doesn't like what I bring. Again it is okay with me. Not allot of people could live on chicken as I can. It was making me even more hungry than I already am. It is hard to go without when the smell of good food is all around you. I will survive, I will survive, I will survive. This I have to repeat to myself over and over again. As long as I can get through the first several days, my body will calm down. It is the these days that is the hardest when one is hungry.
I am trying. It is hard when you believe in GOD, and GOD will supply all your needs, and it is not happening.
So after mom's dinner, I got her changed. Can't put her to bed or I will get shit from the nurse and then the manager. As I did last week. So I just changed her, put a blanket over her, pulled the chair up and held her hand and sang along with the music that I put on for her. Mom will sing along with me. I like it that she allows me to do this for her, and to be a little bit goofy. It makes her smile. I try to dance with her.
I do say that mom loves Diana Krall, Michael Buble and Harry Connick Jr. After she was changed I put the stereo on shuffle and it was a Harry Connick Jr night. That is what played for the night and continued to play after I left, Which I did not leave until 8 pm this evening. I just wanted to stay.
All I wish to do is to be able to stay as late as possible. The lives of these residents are fragile. As seen by the one resident who passed away because of this flu and the other women who is about to pass away. This is why it is so important that I move to White Rock as soon as possible.
ONE JUST NEVER KNOWS. ALL OF A SUDDEN THINGS CAN CHANGE.
Our lives are finite It is best served that we not take anything for granted. To enjoy each other as much as possible. To not let our loved one's sit, alone and afraid. We need to be there for them. And we need to enjoy our journey's along our paths. Not constantly looking at the destination. It is the journey that matters. What we see and experience along the way. The beauty and the wonders that are put in our paths. And sometimes the weirdness that is people.
Sit and let our loved one's tell us about their lives. What we will learn will can both excite us and take our breaths away. We have only seen a small change in our universe. Our loved one's have been through it all. They were there for everything we take for granted now. The stories they can tell will surprise you.
Unfortunately my mother, not being able to speak, cannot tell me of her life growing up. I get to miss out on this. Because the stroke took her speech away. I didn't get to question my father and let him tell me what it was like and what happened through out his life. And I don't get to hear my mother tell me. This I will sadly miss. I want to know everything about her life. I just don't get this opportunity as most of you get to do.
Sit down with your grandmother, grandfather our whom every it is and ask questions, allot of questions. Get to know the real them. Not who you think they are, it is not real. Each of us have a story to tell but we get married, have kid, who have kids. And we are to busy providing for them to have them get to know the real person that they are. It will surely not expect what you hear.You think you know them, but you don't
This is why I need help, Help to move to White Rock. Help to hear. Help with your prayers.
GOD bless and good night
I will say this again. My mother is first in my life and I am last
Kristopher Schmuland
Sunday, March 15, 2015
Cold and wet for us spoiled people
Hello again
As stated in the title, it is cold, windy and wet in the Lower Mainland. For us spoiled people who live in the greater Vancouver area. Where last week we were breaking records for the hottest days. Now it is back to normal. I have always enjoyed the rain. Love the sound of it hitting the payment, the smell is refreshing. Cleans the air. I love the feeling of rain falling upon my head and face. As it washes over the dust and oil.
I think it was a few days ago that I wrote last. Since then it was mom's bath day and of course the staff left nothing on for mom. They just left her alone in her room. Mom is not capable of getting up and turning the TV or Radio on herself. That is what they are paid to do.
And the new case manager at the PGT, tells me not to be calling the staff lazy or incompetent. I say they are both. She the new case manager thinks the staff are above reproach, can do no harm. That they do a great job and do nothing wrong.
Tomorrow night I will post the email I sent the case manager at the PGT.
Yet the staff, day staff only. ( I have no problem with the night staff, though we have had our issues, they were resolved) continually tear the nightgowns, leave mom alone without so much as the radio on,,not give her something to drink on a regular basis. And they are of perfect character, are they not.
And after her dinner on bath day I give her the spa treatment to completely relax her. This worked wonders for her last night. I needed to leave a little early, for what I don't know. I didn't even write on my blog, I had nothing to cook for my mother or myself. Empty fridge and cupboards. I didn't even watch anything right away. It was hours later. So tonight I made sure I stayed later,just holding her hand. She was asleep long before I left. But smiled when I sang our good night song to her, and tucked her in, Then her good night kiss'. Didn't even open her eye's. Just a warm smile.
I do miss my mother every night. I wish I could do more for her and be there more often. I am so depressed at not being able to find a place with which I can afford.
So I caught a bus an hour later. I was fine with me. I didn't look forward to coming back her tonight again. Still an empty cupboard and fridge. An unwanted fast.
Not even 11 pm and I just don't know what I am going to do. I am very tired but don't want to go to sleep. I am very hungry, but nothing. I really do want a smoke. Been to many days now. I am starting to not like my own company. I want to quit, but not like this. It makes me want to smoke more.
I believe there is a GOD, but what transgression have I done to have HIM not answer any my prayers. Any of them. I pray for the health of my mother every evening. Okay, that prayer I would say is being answered. Mom doesn't get sick. This flu is has been and still is going around, Yet mom is not sick. Nor am I. I just don't get sick. Since I know this, this belief is covering mom as well. May be it is genetics, built into my mothers and my DNA. We don't get sick. Maybe it is just a mind set. Either way. I just don't get sick and nor does mom.
I do feed her very well.
I pray and ask for your prayers to find a suitable place for me in White Rock.
Gong to do nothing now. Just sit and stare at something. No cable. I do like it this way, but sometimes miss just turning the TV on to something for background. Instead of watching what I only want to watch Online. I really don't listen to music much. As the laptop speaker sound horrible. I just can't listen to music like this. I would rather not listen to music than to hear it in such poor quality Sensitive ears. Okay, Even though I am loosing my hearing I still don't want to listen to music that sound bad.
Now mom fell off to sleep completely relaxed and comfortable this evening. I on the other hand just can't get three straight hours of sleep each night. I am loosing it, partially because of lack of sleep.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris
As stated in the title, it is cold, windy and wet in the Lower Mainland. For us spoiled people who live in the greater Vancouver area. Where last week we were breaking records for the hottest days. Now it is back to normal. I have always enjoyed the rain. Love the sound of it hitting the payment, the smell is refreshing. Cleans the air. I love the feeling of rain falling upon my head and face. As it washes over the dust and oil.
I think it was a few days ago that I wrote last. Since then it was mom's bath day and of course the staff left nothing on for mom. They just left her alone in her room. Mom is not capable of getting up and turning the TV or Radio on herself. That is what they are paid to do.
And the new case manager at the PGT, tells me not to be calling the staff lazy or incompetent. I say they are both. She the new case manager thinks the staff are above reproach, can do no harm. That they do a great job and do nothing wrong.
Tomorrow night I will post the email I sent the case manager at the PGT.
Yet the staff, day staff only. ( I have no problem with the night staff, though we have had our issues, they were resolved) continually tear the nightgowns, leave mom alone without so much as the radio on,,not give her something to drink on a regular basis. And they are of perfect character, are they not.
And after her dinner on bath day I give her the spa treatment to completely relax her. This worked wonders for her last night. I needed to leave a little early, for what I don't know. I didn't even write on my blog, I had nothing to cook for my mother or myself. Empty fridge and cupboards. I didn't even watch anything right away. It was hours later. So tonight I made sure I stayed later,just holding her hand. She was asleep long before I left. But smiled when I sang our good night song to her, and tucked her in, Then her good night kiss'. Didn't even open her eye's. Just a warm smile.
I do miss my mother every night. I wish I could do more for her and be there more often. I am so depressed at not being able to find a place with which I can afford.
So I caught a bus an hour later. I was fine with me. I didn't look forward to coming back her tonight again. Still an empty cupboard and fridge. An unwanted fast.
Not even 11 pm and I just don't know what I am going to do. I am very tired but don't want to go to sleep. I am very hungry, but nothing. I really do want a smoke. Been to many days now. I am starting to not like my own company. I want to quit, but not like this. It makes me want to smoke more.
I believe there is a GOD, but what transgression have I done to have HIM not answer any my prayers. Any of them. I pray for the health of my mother every evening. Okay, that prayer I would say is being answered. Mom doesn't get sick. This flu is has been and still is going around, Yet mom is not sick. Nor am I. I just don't get sick. Since I know this, this belief is covering mom as well. May be it is genetics, built into my mothers and my DNA. We don't get sick. Maybe it is just a mind set. Either way. I just don't get sick and nor does mom.
I do feed her very well.
I pray and ask for your prayers to find a suitable place for me in White Rock.
Gong to do nothing now. Just sit and stare at something. No cable. I do like it this way, but sometimes miss just turning the TV on to something for background. Instead of watching what I only want to watch Online. I really don't listen to music much. As the laptop speaker sound horrible. I just can't listen to music like this. I would rather not listen to music than to hear it in such poor quality Sensitive ears. Okay, Even though I am loosing my hearing I still don't want to listen to music that sound bad.
Now mom fell off to sleep completely relaxed and comfortable this evening. I on the other hand just can't get three straight hours of sleep each night. I am loosing it, partially because of lack of sleep.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)