Hello again
I am sorry for not writing sooner, but I have been without Internet for the week. The bill was not paid and the carrier was switched. Had to wait until yesterday to get it and then hook everything up.
And I am behind on all my, well, everything. But I don't care. The only thing I cared about was writing these posts. And I am back.
I finally went in for blood test, still have to do two more tests. Brown paper bag it back.
I have been continuing to see the grief counselor and well I have come to the conclusion that I miss holding my mother's hand I miss holding it while she fell asleep. I miss seeing her reach out for my hand as soon as I arrived at her home. It brings me to tears, just writing this. As that was the most love I have ever received from anyone. Unconditional love. My mother really loved me and I miss everything about her. I miss knowing what she was going to say. I could read her so well. Our own language. Just to sit there and hold her hand. That was beautiful. Her smile when I grabbed hold of her hand. Her not wanting to let go of my hand. At anytime. I had to pull my hand away just to feed her and mom would be reaching for my hand as soon as we finished everything.
And to think I trusted those people at Al Hogg. I know they killed her. And the records office is stalling, getting me all her medical records.
And there is nothing concerning all the missing parts from the wheelchair. The barren wheel chair. The White Rock RCMP have done nothing about it. The longer they wait the less likely the video surveillance is going to be there still. The less likely the parts are going to be discovered.
This is just a game that is being perpetrated against me. The manager wanted the chair for parts. Since there was new parts on it. I want my chair whole again. I will be writing the police officer this weekend and letting her know that I get my parts back now or I will be causing a huge scene. Going to the news papers and TV as well as to the head office of the Fraser Health.
I am now done playing a waiting game. This should of been finished a month ago. I will even let the papers know that the RCMP have done nothing to get the parts back. That is their job.
I just want to have peace and quiet. I want my own place to go home to and relax.
I have my learners license again and I have to wait until September 16 for a road test. Unless I call in everyday to see if there has been as cancellation. Which I will have to do. I am not sure the last time I wrote but I had a serious anxiety attack on Canada Day. And it is still affecting me. I need to get something to help with this. I am not doing well. I am becoming overwhelmed by everything that is happening.
I have to start writing lists out, for each day. And carry over what has not been done the previous day. I think that is the only way I am going to get anything done. I use to be able to just know what I needed to get done and do it. Not anymore. Everything is getting to me. Very quickly.
I have no idea what to write next. Again, even writing this is getting to me. Don't get me wrong, I love writing this blog. It is the only thing that keeps me sane.
I have so much to do tomorrow. Well yes and no. A few email need to be answered. I am going to have to stop using all the social media accounts I have. It is just to much for me right now. I have more important things to do with my time.
This is the only thing I will be keeping up with. I have to write on this blog. And if I stop everything else, I will have time to write daily.
Oh yea, I still have no faith and I haven't seen..............
Sincerely,
Kris Schmuland
