Hello again
I am going to continue with my Blog from last night
Needs and wants
First of all, no where in the bible does GOD say you cannot ask for this or that. I just won't give that to you. What it does say is GOD will supply all of your needs.
He says ask in my name. Seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you. Ask for anything in my name and it will be done.
I have no idea what this pretend Christian is reading. I believe in a GOD of miracles. That He will put what you ask for in your path.
I also believe in doing for other's, but what it states is that if one tells others of their goodness, they have already received their blessing. It is to be kept quit and you will build up blessings.
I know I writing is mostly negative, but if you were to meet me, you would have a completely different opinion of me. You would never expect that I was the person who writes this blog.
If you were to meet me, you would think that I am the most trust worthy, patient, loyal,kind and generous person you have every met. You would,willingly, tell me your life story. Without hesitation.
Now Needs and wants
I want a large screen TV Again a want
I need hearing aids, so I can hear clearly again.
I want a 27" I Mac
I need clothing that fits and isn't falling apart.
I want a car
I need glasses so I can clearly see distances
I want really nice stereo
I need a printer to print legal documents out on. My printer, I have had for three years now,. The copier is broken and I am completely out of ink.
I want beautiful new furniture
I need pots and pans and cutlery, So when I move I can cook and eat on something.
You might get the idea of where I am coming from.
It was much better, earlier in the day when I thought of it. I should of written it down then. As I use to do.
I made mom her favorite salad last night and brought it for her today. This was on top of the leftover brisket. She ate and ate, became extremely full. I soon I got their, she saw me again in the reflection in the window. This time, she not only reached out her hand, but was very vocal, as well.
We chatted and laughed. Mom was full of smiles and happiness. I held her hand through out dinner. I gave her the nightly spa treatment. And she was so relaxed, that my mother went to sleep. Happily holding my hand and curling up in her comforter.
Mom wanted me to go, so she could get sleep, before the roommates delusions start.
Again, I say, that it is not the care aids fault, nor the nurses. It is the doctors and the managements fault. They can give this women something to assist with the delusions.
Now it is 11:00 pm and I think I am going to stop now.
If I think of anything else, I can just add it latter or wait
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Friday, January 24, 2014
Well I don't know, I actually do
Hello again
So we have the hater writing me telling me that I should move my mother into a private place. So I can have everything the way I want it. And even then they won't do what is needed.
I will tell him this. Once again, abuse is rampant in all places. Whether it is private or government funded. They are to match roommates up according to there needs and personalities. Not just stick someone in the room, who should not be put together in the first place.
And I have every right to complain. It is abuse, period.
Again, it is not the roommates fault. This is part of her disease. It is the residential care coordinators responsibility to match the residents up, correctly.
This person is part of the Hamon Clan, my sisters family;. And he is spouting scripture to me about being kind to others and they will be kind to you.
Well, idiot, I am kind to everyone, who I come in contact with. I do not show my depression around mom or any other resident. I check it at the door. I only show my depression when I am alone. Which is most of the time.
People would not tell me their life's stories if I were not a trusted individual.
And this is coming from a family who only wants my mother to hurry up and pass away so they can get the inheritance. Greedy and selfish people, are my family. And maybe if they didn't rip off my parents, constantly through out their lives,, I could get mom into a better place.
They tell me that you don't ask GOD for anything materialistic. Well you do ask HIM for your needs and He will supply them. That is what it states in the Bible.
And I read the bible everyday. I read the bible twice a year, and with that I go through the new testement at least four times a year
What it states is ask, seek and knock. GOD so clothed the birds of the air, how much more will He cloth those who are his children.
And I don't ask GOD for a car or anything like that. I know what the difference between my wants and my needs are.
Yes I want a big flat screen TV or a 27 " monitor or a stereo. But those are wants. My needs are, a printer. Not an expensive on. I have many documents that are related to mom and her care, that need to be printed. And many other letters and documents that are needed for myself.
I need clothing, as mine are to large and are falling apart.
I will buy mom clothing before myself. I make sure mom eats extremely well, before I buy groceries for myself.
I just say this, bring your family and eat what they eat on a regular basis. Not going to happen, I know this for a fact.
But what I say to this person is not to read this blog. I write the truth. Abuse is in every institution. And it is up to the one who cares the most , to make sure their loved one's are well taken care of.
I ask GOD, not for the money to find a place, but to help me find a place within my budget. To guide to this place or person who will assist me or give me a break.
I received a few dollars this week, I was paid. And I got mom a nice dinner tonight. Beef brisket, baked beans and nugget potatoes. Well, mom loved it. I just made her the salad she loves. That with the leftover brisket, is mom's meal tomorrow.
She was full when I got her ready for bed tonight. And was out like a light after her spa treatment. With this huge beautiful smile on her face.
That is my rant for tonight. There is so much more I could write, but it is late and time to go to bed.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
So we have the hater writing me telling me that I should move my mother into a private place. So I can have everything the way I want it. And even then they won't do what is needed.
I will tell him this. Once again, abuse is rampant in all places. Whether it is private or government funded. They are to match roommates up according to there needs and personalities. Not just stick someone in the room, who should not be put together in the first place.
And I have every right to complain. It is abuse, period.
Again, it is not the roommates fault. This is part of her disease. It is the residential care coordinators responsibility to match the residents up, correctly.
This person is part of the Hamon Clan, my sisters family;. And he is spouting scripture to me about being kind to others and they will be kind to you.
Well, idiot, I am kind to everyone, who I come in contact with. I do not show my depression around mom or any other resident. I check it at the door. I only show my depression when I am alone. Which is most of the time.
People would not tell me their life's stories if I were not a trusted individual.
And this is coming from a family who only wants my mother to hurry up and pass away so they can get the inheritance. Greedy and selfish people, are my family. And maybe if they didn't rip off my parents, constantly through out their lives,, I could get mom into a better place.
They tell me that you don't ask GOD for anything materialistic. Well you do ask HIM for your needs and He will supply them. That is what it states in the Bible.
And I read the bible everyday. I read the bible twice a year, and with that I go through the new testement at least four times a year
What it states is ask, seek and knock. GOD so clothed the birds of the air, how much more will He cloth those who are his children.
And I don't ask GOD for a car or anything like that. I know what the difference between my wants and my needs are.
Yes I want a big flat screen TV or a 27 " monitor or a stereo. But those are wants. My needs are, a printer. Not an expensive on. I have many documents that are related to mom and her care, that need to be printed. And many other letters and documents that are needed for myself.
I need clothing, as mine are to large and are falling apart.
I will buy mom clothing before myself. I make sure mom eats extremely well, before I buy groceries for myself.
I just say this, bring your family and eat what they eat on a regular basis. Not going to happen, I know this for a fact.
But what I say to this person is not to read this blog. I write the truth. Abuse is in every institution. And it is up to the one who cares the most , to make sure their loved one's are well taken care of.
I ask GOD, not for the money to find a place, but to help me find a place within my budget. To guide to this place or person who will assist me or give me a break.
I received a few dollars this week, I was paid. And I got mom a nice dinner tonight. Beef brisket, baked beans and nugget potatoes. Well, mom loved it. I just made her the salad she loves. That with the leftover brisket, is mom's meal tomorrow.
She was full when I got her ready for bed tonight. And was out like a light after her spa treatment. With this huge beautiful smile on her face.
That is my rant for tonight. There is so much more I could write, but it is late and time to go to bed.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
I am not
Hello again
The one thing I need to get across to everyone, is I know what I am. I may have a decent education, but I am nothing, nobody. I have nothing.
But don't get me wrong,I may be nothing or nobody, but I still have power to get what I need or mom's needs taken care of. To do whatever is necessary to do this. But I am still a looser. That is the way I feel about myself.
I have nothing. And I need all sorts of things. Example, I really need a printer, and clothing. The clothes that I do have, that fit me, are falling apart. Disintegrating in front of me. Every time I wash something, it comes out with a hole in it. I am loosing weight and everything is to large for me, plus full of holes.
I will buy mom clothing before myself. I will buy mom everything before myself. I will give my life
The runners I bought less than three months ago, are falling apart. I will take the receipt and the runners back tomorrow.
I brought mom some pasta she likes tonight and she ate all of it, plus the roast beef they served. And of course the usual fruit.
And I washed her hair. This makes mom feel great. Oh yea, when I arrived mom saw my reflection in the window and reached out her hand right away.
I find that I am no longer made at GOD, I am now, just disappointed. He states to ask, seek and and ye shall find. Well I am not finding anything. I am not getting any help at all. I am falling apart physically and mentally. Not fun
I am done. I am no longer going to read the bible to gain anything. I will read it like a novel.
My doctor doesn't get it. Time to find one that does
I have so many things to do,but I don't have the funds to do any of them.
But who cares, right!
Anyways
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
The one thing I need to get across to everyone, is I know what I am. I may have a decent education, but I am nothing, nobody. I have nothing.
But don't get me wrong,I may be nothing or nobody, but I still have power to get what I need or mom's needs taken care of. To do whatever is necessary to do this. But I am still a looser. That is the way I feel about myself.
I have nothing. And I need all sorts of things. Example, I really need a printer, and clothing. The clothes that I do have, that fit me, are falling apart. Disintegrating in front of me. Every time I wash something, it comes out with a hole in it. I am loosing weight and everything is to large for me, plus full of holes.
I will buy mom clothing before myself. I will buy mom everything before myself. I will give my life
The runners I bought less than three months ago, are falling apart. I will take the receipt and the runners back tomorrow.
I brought mom some pasta she likes tonight and she ate all of it, plus the roast beef they served. And of course the usual fruit.
And I washed her hair. This makes mom feel great. Oh yea, when I arrived mom saw my reflection in the window and reached out her hand right away.
I find that I am no longer made at GOD, I am now, just disappointed. He states to ask, seek and and ye shall find. Well I am not finding anything. I am not getting any help at all. I am falling apart physically and mentally. Not fun
I am done. I am no longer going to read the bible to gain anything. I will read it like a novel.
My doctor doesn't get it. Time to find one that does
I have so many things to do,but I don't have the funds to do any of them.
But who cares, right!
Anyways
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
This day is Tuesday 21
Hello again
I am really pissed off that nothing has been done about the roommate situation. Mom and I sit at this certain table daily, but on Tuesday, this roommates daughters get their and sit there. So mom and I have to find another place to eat, that is private. Since this roommate is noisy, hallucinates, has the TV on all the time. So when mom and I eat, we like to sit somewhere that is quit. So on Tuesday's we end up eating in her room. There is the family room, but it is used at 6 pm and I don't like to rush mom through dinner. I want to her actually eat and chew her food.
This is the type of people they are. They know we eat there, but don't give a crap. I am tired of their rudeness. They don't care that their mother is completely disturbing to my mother.
And the staff don't give a crap either. I am going to say this, they are abusing my mother. Mom needs some quit time. Not to constantly being bombarded by noise.
And this is the way I will be approaching this from now on. Mom is being abused. She doesn't get to have any quit time at night. The fucking TV is on all the time, even when this person is not in the room. And then she is reading, hallucinating and the TV is going, all at the same time. It is not her fault, it is the disease. But it is the staff's fault and the daughters fault for not trying to do something about it.
Everyone else gets to sleep with the lights out. Mom goes to sleep at a certain time and she should be with someone who goes to bed at this time as well. With the fucking lights out! And not have to be subjected to constant hallucinations. And the TV being loud.
So I had some extra funds today, so I got mom some Chinese food. I told her I would bring some. And I always keep my promise to my mother.
I have other things to discuss but not tonight. I am extremely pissed off over many things right now, and need to calm down a bit first, before I write about them.
I can't live here anymore. I need to free up the 7 hours a day I travel to do more for mom and myself.
To get things going again. As in the Web site devoted to Seniors Abuse.
GOD bless and good night
One thing I am pissed off at is that I can't get access to mom and dad's photo's to fix them and copy them.
Kris Schmuland
I am really pissed off that nothing has been done about the roommate situation. Mom and I sit at this certain table daily, but on Tuesday, this roommates daughters get their and sit there. So mom and I have to find another place to eat, that is private. Since this roommate is noisy, hallucinates, has the TV on all the time. So when mom and I eat, we like to sit somewhere that is quit. So on Tuesday's we end up eating in her room. There is the family room, but it is used at 6 pm and I don't like to rush mom through dinner. I want to her actually eat and chew her food.
This is the type of people they are. They know we eat there, but don't give a crap. I am tired of their rudeness. They don't care that their mother is completely disturbing to my mother.
And the staff don't give a crap either. I am going to say this, they are abusing my mother. Mom needs some quit time. Not to constantly being bombarded by noise.
And this is the way I will be approaching this from now on. Mom is being abused. She doesn't get to have any quit time at night. The fucking TV is on all the time, even when this person is not in the room. And then she is reading, hallucinating and the TV is going, all at the same time. It is not her fault, it is the disease. But it is the staff's fault and the daughters fault for not trying to do something about it.
Everyone else gets to sleep with the lights out. Mom goes to sleep at a certain time and she should be with someone who goes to bed at this time as well. With the fucking lights out! And not have to be subjected to constant hallucinations. And the TV being loud.
So I had some extra funds today, so I got mom some Chinese food. I told her I would bring some. And I always keep my promise to my mother.
I have other things to discuss but not tonight. I am extremely pissed off over many things right now, and need to calm down a bit first, before I write about them.
I can't live here anymore. I need to free up the 7 hours a day I travel to do more for mom and myself.
To get things going again. As in the Web site devoted to Seniors Abuse.
GOD bless and good night
One thing I am pissed off at is that I can't get access to mom and dad's photo's to fix them and copy them.
Kris Schmuland
Sunday, January 19, 2014
We
Hello again
It is now Saturday night and I am doing my laundry. Well, actually, mom's and my laundry. I do this now, and have been doing mom's laundry for a while now. Nothing gets ruined or goes missing.
I brought mom this fish last night and a salad. Well the fish was horrible and the salad was a little difficult for mom to chew. I threw it away. Mom wouldn't eat and and I tasted it and, not a chance.
So I made mom dinner this evening. Nugget potatoes and mushrooms and thinly sliced rib eye steak( it is inexpensive and comes already sliced)
She enjoyed this and ate everything on the plate and more. Plus of course the usual papaya and avocado.
The care aid, for the last few nights, doesn't get it. I need to leave at a certain time. And mom is suppose to be put into bed between 6 and 6:30, not 7 pm. Come on, I need time to give mom her nightly spa treatment and stand with her while she relaxes and falls to sleep. I hate being rushed.
She can't read or just doesn't care. I will be speaking with the nurse tomorrow. I know him well and we can speak easily.
And the roommate is getting worse by the day. It seems her Alzheimer's is getting worse. She, daily, is having hallucinations and lengthy conversations with no one, and insisting that the person is in the room, right next to me or other staff. Argues that they are right their. She is now very disrupted to mom. The TV is loud, the lights are on and she is having serious hallucinations.
Other's get to have the lights out at a certain time, but not mom. Of course my sister's don't care and/or doesn't want mom to be moved. And the individual in charge of moving residents is male biased. And doesn't listen to anything I say.
Time to go to the MLA on Monday.
I am a mess, I don't even want to be where I am anymore. I am done. It is cold in here and the landlord keeps turning down the heat. The thermostats are covered and most of them, in the suite are fake. The only heat for the entire living area is in the one hall way and controlled by the thermostat in the one bedroom, which he keeps coming over and turning it off and locking the door. So no heat in the living area.
I have an oil heater in my room, which provides enough heat for me. To much if I leave it on. But not where I am now. I am wearing two sweaters, sweats and socks. I am still cold.
On top of this I have major depression, which is getting worse. The anti depressants the doctor gave me require me to eat when taking them and I am to take them in the morning. Well I eat once a day, it that, and I don't have the money to eat three or even two meals a day. Let alone one good meal in a day. And they a ruining my stomach. Well where, I can't take them. Even though I need them.
Catch 22. This is making things worse. The doctor doesn't get it. Time to really just lay it on the line with him.
Whatever, right. As if anyone gives a crap. No one that I know. Wait, I don't know anyone. I go days,even weeks without having a conversation with anyone. Outside dealing with issues involving mom. It has been years since I even sat with someone at a coffee shop and just spoke about anything.
I am very lonely and alone. This is how I get my turmoil out. I write! This is my solace!
Mom is doing fine and it breaks my heart that I can' find a place in White Rock so I can be closer to her and to be able to get to bed before 3 am. To be able to be there for mom more often and get something together to assist mom even more.
I would eliminate 6 or 7 hours a day of travel. And do something constructive with those hours to improve mom's life.
Just makes me even more depressed.
I have to go now. 12:30 now
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
It is now Saturday night and I am doing my laundry. Well, actually, mom's and my laundry. I do this now, and have been doing mom's laundry for a while now. Nothing gets ruined or goes missing.
I brought mom this fish last night and a salad. Well the fish was horrible and the salad was a little difficult for mom to chew. I threw it away. Mom wouldn't eat and and I tasted it and, not a chance.
So I made mom dinner this evening. Nugget potatoes and mushrooms and thinly sliced rib eye steak( it is inexpensive and comes already sliced)
She enjoyed this and ate everything on the plate and more. Plus of course the usual papaya and avocado.
The care aid, for the last few nights, doesn't get it. I need to leave at a certain time. And mom is suppose to be put into bed between 6 and 6:30, not 7 pm. Come on, I need time to give mom her nightly spa treatment and stand with her while she relaxes and falls to sleep. I hate being rushed.
She can't read or just doesn't care. I will be speaking with the nurse tomorrow. I know him well and we can speak easily.
And the roommate is getting worse by the day. It seems her Alzheimer's is getting worse. She, daily, is having hallucinations and lengthy conversations with no one, and insisting that the person is in the room, right next to me or other staff. Argues that they are right their. She is now very disrupted to mom. The TV is loud, the lights are on and she is having serious hallucinations.
Other's get to have the lights out at a certain time, but not mom. Of course my sister's don't care and/or doesn't want mom to be moved. And the individual in charge of moving residents is male biased. And doesn't listen to anything I say.
Time to go to the MLA on Monday.
I am a mess, I don't even want to be where I am anymore. I am done. It is cold in here and the landlord keeps turning down the heat. The thermostats are covered and most of them, in the suite are fake. The only heat for the entire living area is in the one hall way and controlled by the thermostat in the one bedroom, which he keeps coming over and turning it off and locking the door. So no heat in the living area.
I have an oil heater in my room, which provides enough heat for me. To much if I leave it on. But not where I am now. I am wearing two sweaters, sweats and socks. I am still cold.
On top of this I have major depression, which is getting worse. The anti depressants the doctor gave me require me to eat when taking them and I am to take them in the morning. Well I eat once a day, it that, and I don't have the money to eat three or even two meals a day. Let alone one good meal in a day. And they a ruining my stomach. Well where, I can't take them. Even though I need them.
Catch 22. This is making things worse. The doctor doesn't get it. Time to really just lay it on the line with him.
Whatever, right. As if anyone gives a crap. No one that I know. Wait, I don't know anyone. I go days,even weeks without having a conversation with anyone. Outside dealing with issues involving mom. It has been years since I even sat with someone at a coffee shop and just spoke about anything.
I am very lonely and alone. This is how I get my turmoil out. I write! This is my solace!
Mom is doing fine and it breaks my heart that I can' find a place in White Rock so I can be closer to her and to be able to get to bed before 3 am. To be able to be there for mom more often and get something together to assist mom even more.
I would eliminate 6 or 7 hours a day of travel. And do something constructive with those hours to improve mom's life.
Just makes me even more depressed.
I have to go now. 12:30 now
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
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