Wednesday, September 4, 2013

The same, but not.

Hello again

For the last few days mom has been extremely tired and has not eaten much at all. It also coincides with the one LPN, who, by the way, threatened me, is working. When this LPN is working mom's health care suffer's.

I have also made it clear to everyone their, that the lights bother her eyes and to put the sun glasses on her. Yet today, when I arrived, mom was leaning back and directly under the florescent lights. Her eyes for the last two days have been extremely bloodshot and she has been rubbing them. They hurt. I made my displeasure known. Loudly.

This is the type of person this LPN is. She is a drunk and a horrible individual. I do not trust her in anyway. And each and every time she is on, it just proves my point. That she is a terrible nurse, excuse me, LPN.

I am excellent at reading people and I read her exactly. I knew what she was, and I found out latter that my read was exactly dead on.

This is what I do. I am an expert at reading people.

I had brought her some Sushi, Sushi Tuesday, She only ate the inside of the Sushi. The rice is hard for her to digest.

Mom was not to happy with me, even brushing her teeth and giving her the nightly spa treatment. I just am very aware of when she is upset and am quick at moving away from her moving hand.

Before she was even changed, mom was sound asleep and snoring. It did not even take long for her to fall back to sleep after she was changed. I didn't fuss with her any further. I just let her sleep and held her hand until I needed to leave.

I don't know what else to say. I am hurting. My ankle is killing me, having a hard time walking on it. My hearing is the craps and this,especially, bother's me greatly. Does anyone know what it is like to be loosing their hearing.

I am done.

GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland

Monday, September 2, 2013

An up and down day

Hello again

Today started off well enough, but the bus was really crowded and I don't do well in confined and crowded spaces. I became irritated and anxious. And all I wanted to do was get off the dam bus.

But I calmed down and was OK when I went into see mom. But I became very emotional after that. I cried a bit. I remembered my blog from last night and it is true, that I would do anything to have mom live with me full time and to take care of her.

It is a wish and it is my nightly prayer,  that this happens. I really would love this to happen. I just don't have the means to do this.

I does bother me greatly.

Because it is difficult being poor, living in poverty. There are all kinds of health effects living like this. It is very stressful on one's body, mind and spirit. It is a vicious cycle to live in. Many times I see to end in sight to this poverty. The one thing that helps the most is I am taking care of mom and I look forward to this everyday. To show mom that someone actually loves her and is going to be and is there for her at all times.

It is Sunday and mom's bath day. So she is already in bed when I arrive. Of course they have her covered up with to many blankets and she is just sweating away. I am glad that the care aid on today, knows this and removed the comforter from her.

I immediately make mom as comfortable as possible to cool her off as much as I can.

I make her smoothies all the time, but I did something different this time around. Mom just loves this smoothie. I don't know what I did different. Except I added a different Mango. It made it thicker. It really doesn't matter, it only matters that she loves it.

OK it is 1 AM again, I really need to go to bed now. Even though it will be a while before I go to sleep. I just want to watch something and relax. Turn my mind off for a little while.

Please pray that I find a place in White Rock. For mom's sake.

GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland

Sunday, September 1, 2013

I am not responding

Hello again

I will be starting this blog, this evening, stating that I do not receive and financial compensation for taking care of my mother, what so ever. I do not receive funds to pay my rent, food, bills, clothing, phone, sundries or laundry soap to wash her clothing. ( which I bring home and wash)  Nor funds for the bags that I carry all of mom's items back and forth daily. ( I go through these often) etc...etc.... etc....

No one, but myself, pays for these things.

I do not receive funds to purchase groceries to make mom dinners, smoothies, desserts ( make or purchase) or any extra goodies I bring to mom. I purchase allot of her clothing myself.

I hem her clothing, when needed. I make sure all of her items are in good condition. I spend the time downloading music for her and putting it onto the SD cards or USB sticks.

Mom gets a bath once a week. I wash her face, hands, legs, feet and back, every single day. I want mom to feel fresh and clean. I change her pillow cases, which are hers. I make sure her sheets are clean and change them when needed.

It was brought up today, that I do everything for mom and know how to take care of her completely, so why don't I have her living with me.

AND I WANT TO EMPHASIZE THAT I DO THIS WILLINGLY AND AM PROUD TO DO THIS FOR  MY MOTHER. WITH OPEN ARMS I EMBRACE HER DISEASE AND LOVE HER EVEN MORE.

First of all, when mom was in Mission, I brought this up and was told no by the PGT. The same individuals who refuse to let me have mom's photo's of her and my father's life.

I said this to the women. If I were to win the lottery or have the financial means to do this, I would do this in a heart beat. If I were to win the lottery, I would have mom living with me within a few months,after I purchase a home. I know about all the resources necessary to assist me in taking care of mom. To get the help I would need. But there is nothing available for someone who is just a primary caregiver. As I am.

Yes I take great care of mom. I know what she is like, when she is upset, or ill. I know her moods. I can read her perfectly.

I would love to have mom living with me. There are places I can take her for the day. Or people I can have come in to take care of mom, when I need to do things for her or myself.  Daycare.

Remember I have nothing. And it would not be fair to mom for her to be living with me at this moment in time. But if things change, I would not hesitate to have her living with me and for me to take care of her full time. I know I would do a great job doing this.

I can't even find a place to live in White Rock for the $650.00 that I can afford. Anymore and I would not eat at all, let alone the little I eat now. Or even have a phone. ( This is most important) Well actually, the $650.00 would take care of most of my money. And I would have nothing left. But I would be living in White Rock, close to mom. I would figure something out, I guess. I just want to be close to her, to spend more time with her. This I wish and pray for every night and will continue to do so.

Other than this, mom was OK this evening. She did not eat much. By her usual standards, I mean.

I got their late, as the bus was late getting me downtown, which means an extra 1/2 hour to an hour at the White Rock end. So I could not wash mom's hair this evening. She was upset. But after mom's finishes her dinner, she is to tired to have me wash her hair. And her pad is full and she just wants out of her pants and into bed. For her spa treatment and to get changed. Her diaper that is. She wants me to do this, and I have done this before. But I really would prefer not to do this. But she has to sit or lay down in this for a few hours most of the time. And I am not happy about this lack of care.

Yes they don't have the staff, but is this mom's problem or even mine. NOT!

But it is not the staff who work their, and I sometimes forget this. It is the management who are to cheap to have the proper staff requirements to take care of the residents

A brief bit about me now. My left ankle is really hurting me today. It is rolling to the side and has extreme shooting pain. My left leg, knee, is giving out on me most of the time now. It is hard to walk, without being in pain.

I have to live with individuals that have no respect for anyone else. The place reeks when I get home. It is a mess. The disgusting oder is getting in my room. I deal with professionals on a regular basis' and I don't want to smell. I even complained to the landlord today and when I got home this evening I gaged from the smell.

If something is not done, I will be filling a complaint with the residential tenancy branch. As it is, because the dryer is not vented, my computer now over heats and shuts down all the time. I get an hour out of it before it shuts down. Then I wait until it cools down to restart it. Or I have all the window and doors open, plus a fan on, to keep it running. This is due to the dryer not being vented and the moisture is in the air and got into my computer.

The laptop is only a year old and it has this problem now. The basement suite is not legal and there are many infractions that against city bylaws. I just need to find a place before I file a complaint. So I am not living on the street.

I need to stop writing now, I need to go to bed. But I have to wait until my mother's and my clothes are dry.

Please pray for me to find a place in White Rock to rent. Which I can afford.

GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland