It is hard to deal with the truth

Hello again

I am going to start out today by saying what would mom do without me being their for her. I don't like to boast about anything. And the truth is what would I do without mom. The staff at the home are only allowed 20 minutes per person, per day.

If I did not do what I do for mom. The staff would have to feed her. I don't know if she would get her teeth brushed every night. No one would wash her as I do. Put lotion on her. Do her nails, clean her ears and everything else I do for her.

They would not go without for the sake of their mother. As I do all the time. Yes I bitch and complain allot. But I would rather go hungry and without properly fitting clothes or everything. If it means mom had to go without her fruit or snacks or even her different drinks.  And guess what this is what I do.

It seems nobody really understands it when I say mom is first and I am last. I will and do give up everything so mom has the things that will extend her life. Even if it is only for a year. This I do all the time. I have lost allot of weight as a result of this and I needed to loose some weight anyways. A good thing came from this.

So to my sister's MOM IS FIRST, I WILL GIVE UP EVERYTHING TO MAKE SURE SHE IS HEALTHY AND STRONG. AND I AM LAST.

This is the way it should be. She raised and took care of me and I need to do the same for her. Which I do. And I have no problem traveling to and from White Rock everyday. Yes I complain about this. Well, not really. It is what I need to do, to be their for mom. And will do whatever is necessary for mom to have someone their for her everyday. Period.

Certainly not my sisters.

They really don't have any idea what mom is like, other than there limited time they spend with her. At these times mom is usually in a good mood. It is later in the day that mom suffers from the signs of her disease.


And I don't have any idea what their problem is with me. But who really cares anyways. I am to busy, taking care of mom to worry about their petty problems.

They seem to think they are the kings of the world. But I am sure they have not mentioned to the rest of their families exactly how they got to where they are in life. Instead of telling everyone they did this and they did that. Not true.

Yes I have received my share of help from my parents. Thank you to them now and forever.

I write this blog and what I write is the absolute truth. I tell it like it is. I write about my thought and feelings. Mom and her life and adventures.

How I am trying to do for mom and keep running into road blocks along the way. Especially the PGT and their lack of giving a crap about their clients.

Now it is about their lack of caring about mom's health and her nutritional needs. What she likes to have each and everyday. As she is use too.

Right now it is about the PGT not releasing her photo's of her life. And telling me they have to have my sister's permission first. And they know perfectly well that they will never give said permission. So mom goes without getting to see all of her memories. Her wedding, the family growing up and all the moments in between. Sad isn't it. That the PGT is this way.

I have been scrapping by trying to get mom the drinks and fruit and everything else she likes. I am doing all sorts of things to get these things for her. Taking empties in etc..... And I go without all the time. It is OK though. It is only the first few days that are the main problem. After that it is not to bad.

But, once again I will go without every time, to make sure mom has what she needs and is use to having everyday. But I can't completely get everything. I am trying.

But it is time.

I need to get to bed, OK, I would like to watch some TV and acutally watch the full episode.

GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland

GOD tells us to love your enemies, and I say love them until they are so sick of you, they stop bothering you.

And life goes on

Hello again

Last week I went for my vision test and require two separate pair of glasses. Today I went to have my eye health tested and it turns out there are signs of macular degeneration. In other words I could be loosing my sight.

The doctor is getting me to a specialist to make sure. First of all I could only afford one pair of glasses. Now the doctor tells me I need to get the other pair right away. Not to wait. It will maybe help save your vision from going faster But I need to see the specialist ASAP to make sure. He tells me to not worry, but get the glasses right away.

I tell him I can only afford the one pair. You have to figure it out and soon.

This on top of the fact that I haven't eaten in 6 days now. And am getting weak. This could be why the eye test went so wrong. You have to eat to maintain you health, especially when it comes to your eye health

This is only if it is mascular degeneration I think it is something else. We will find out for sure in a couple of month's when I get to see the specialist. Or whenever that maybe.

I am freaking out a bit. But I am more concerned about mom not getting the proper nutrition she needs. She is not eating much. She doesn't like what they are serving her most of the time. I try to make sure I bring her fruit and other nutritious snacks. As much as possible.

Now the PGT is still refusing to give me mom's photo's to make copies of them. They still insist that they need my sisters to agree. I don't want to keep them I only want to make copies of them to put on mom's wall.

But if I have to wait for my sister's that will never happen. Because they are so nasty it is not funny and will never agree to this.

Just like they both cleaned mom and dads house out when they moved and took everything for themselves. Not considering that this was their parents belongings. Or that this is mom's life and she should be able to see  all of her own life's memories. I am willing to make copies for them. But, again, they are complete bitches and are just greedy.

They have no interest in mom and her happiness. This was apparent last Monday night.

I only speak the truth and this is the way it will be. Just wait and I will let you know what happens in the next couple of weeks.

Now there is the matter of mom getting out and see her best friend. The PGT has done nothing about this so far. And with their history of not doing what they say they will do. Mom's friend will be dead before the PGT does anything about it. It has already been over a month since I ask for mom to go to see Mrs Elliott

I have to go. I don't feel I am making any sense.

GOD bless and good night.

Kris Schmuland

About this evening

Hello again

I want to start by saying that the adventure of the family was a nightmare.

They came wanting a confrontation and that is what they created.

When I arrived mom was dead tired. Her eye's were beet red, she was rubbing them. I could see she just wanted to go to bed, right then and there.

During dinner, mom only had a few bites of her meal. She did not even want to eat her dinner. It looked not to bad tonight. chicken breast with BBQ sauce on it. Squash, and mashed potatoes. OK she has way to may  mashed potatoes. Needs something different.

I had some fruit for her. A few gold kiwi's and a papaya. She loves papaya and will eat this every single day. She only ate the gold kiwi. I did make a frozen drink for her.  A black cherry and strawberry smoothie. This she ate some of. And I got her an ice cream. But not much of it.

Well when she wouldn't eat anymore, I told her we were going down stairs to the dance recital. She said no, I kept saying we need to go and Marilyn was going to be their with her grandchildren. She still said no.

But down we went. As soon as I got down stairs. This women tried to take mom away. She took mom's glasses off of her. I got these glasses for mom, as the lights in the home bother mom's eye's. This was why she wants them on. I simply said no mom has to be at the back and needs her glasses on.

When we moved to a place for mom to watch the show. This women tried to take mom and move her up close. I simply said that mom needs to be at the back in case she wants to leave and go to bed.

Well my sister came rushing over and said to me that I was saying some bad things to mom's great grand daughter. I simply said to just walk away. Not wanting a confrontation.

When the show started, mom had no interest in it. I tried to get her to watch the show. She only was motioning for me to put her to bed and give her the daily spa treatment. We stayed a half hour. And mom started to get agitated. And raising her voice and just wanting to go to bed. So I started to take her to the elevator and my nephew put his foot in front of my mother's wheelchair and started to push her around then he told me that he was going to beat the shit out of me with my stick, cane,

He did not even take my mother's feelings into consideration. He yelled that mom is going to stay until his wife dances. My sister was their as well yelling at me. And they both were causing a disturbance, yelling at me. My nephew pushing my mother's wheel chair around. Hovering over my mother threatening me.. Scaring mom. He assaulted her by pushing her wheelchair around like that. Mom was frightened by this.

In front of everyone. All I kept saying was mom wants to go to bed. She is getting agitated.

They weren't their to see mom before dinner. How tired she was. They didn't see that mom did not even eat. They are not aware that the roommate is keeping mom up at night.

How mom is not eating properly the last few weeks. They aren't their. They are not their when mom gets agitated and swings and punches, not only me, but the staff as well.

They are not their for any holiday. I am. They are not even their for mom's birthday. They come a few days before and that is it.

I give up everything for mom. I am their everyday. Day in and day out. I am their for 3 or more hours each day. I am the one who holds mom's hand while she fall's asleep. Not them.

My nephew assulted his own grand mother tonight. My sister and nephew were frightening mom. By hovering  over her in a imposing manner.

My nephew even took a swing at me. If it were not for my sister, he would of hit me. And they kept saying " he is not worth it" This I give her credit for. But he is exactly like his dad. The only thing they think of is fighting and themsleves. I thought for a minute I was talking to his dad.

But nothing was said about mom and the fact she was completly tired and only wanted to go to bed. Before I even brought her down.

All they were concerened about was themselves

So that was the night.

Now the PGT is still refusing to release funds for me to get mom her snacks, drinks and a decent meal a few times a week.

I have nothing and it's been many days since I have eaten, but I don't care. I am only concerned that mom gets proper nutrition and decent meals. And the PGT is refusing to do anything about this.

Mom is getting weak and is loosing weight. I try and try to get her to eat. Even if it just fruit. But tonight mom did not even want this.

So I say to my family GOD bless them

But I need to go and now write the PGT about this situation

GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland