OK it is time to..............

Hello again

Tonight I saw mom get mad, and it wasn't grumpy because she was tired. Mom got mad, really mad, at her roommate. She directed her dirty looks toward the roommate, and even tried to say shut up. I know mom and I know when she is really mad. I know what she looks like when really pissed off. And she was.. I have not seen mom like this in a very long time.

The roommate was at it all night long. Calling the staff to tell them that these people were in the room all night. And she even told me about it. And when I was their  she was speaking to her daughter. Who by the way, is in California right now.  This goes on and on. I just stop speaking with her or acknowledging her delusions.

So mom was extremely tired. I did get their early and washed her hair. Mom didn't want this to happen, but it makes her feel good. So we got it done. With a little bit of fussing on mom's part.

It is Friday, and I try to bring her fish on this day. Partly because it is healthy for her, and she is Catholic. So mom ate the dinner I brought her, plus some on the dinner served. She was very full. I got her changed for bed. Brushed her teeth and the staff came to change her and put her to bed.

Because mom was so tired, I only performed mom's spa treatment on her face and feet tonight. And then I just stood their and held her hand while she fell off to sleep.

Other than this mom is fine. And it makes me feel really good to be able to help mom out everyday.

I usually hold mom's right hand, as she cannot move her left arm and hand that much. But I am starting to make sure I hold her left hand more often. The hand needs the warmth. It will help mom to loosen her hand.

Anyways. I really am not making much sense now. Or I need to eat and just stare at the laptop and watch something.

GOD bless and good night

Pray that I find a place in White Rock

Kris Schmuland

Do unto other's

Hello again

I believe in the motto do until other's as you would have them do unto you. This is why I am there for my mother everyday. It is the right thing to do.. I would want someone to do this for me. But I know this will never happen. I don't know anyone.....

So I have wants. Well to get the things I want, I enter all sorts of contests. Maybe I will win a TV or stereo. Or something of value, which I can turn into a TV or stereo. I have to try something. Even though they are wants, it still would be nice to have a flat screen TV or a nice stereo. As I love to listen to music.

Oh yea, I mentioned the runners I had were falling apart and I was going to take them back. I did, and I got another pair, on sale, and I ended up with $25.00 in my pocket.

I left home early today, only to arrive late at mom's. Ten minutes past five. I guess I will leave earlier tomorrow, so I can wash mom's hair.

I got her things she likes for dinner and she ate all of it. I do, however, have to go to this one store tomorrow to get mom the Hawaiian Papaya she likes. I have had to get the elephant papaya, which is red, but doesn't taste the same.

I got her changed and then the staff put her to bed. Mom held my hand and I just used the other hand to give mom her nightly spa treatment. Use to this and have no problem with it. And getting good at using the one hand while mom holds the other.

Mom has been doing very well and she seems happy. Well when I am their anyways..

I know it is hard on her. Stuck in a wheelchair and no one listens to her. Dependent on everyone. I feel very bad about this. Again, this is why I do what I do for her. To let her know someone cares.

I will not let her be alone, not even for one single day. It is my duty as her son to make sure mom is loved. And I will be and always be the one she can count on. No matter what.

I love my mother dearly. I am glad I can do this for her.

GOD bless and good night

I write to express

Hello again

So I ended up getting to mom's just in time to feed her dinner. I wanted to be their early so I could wash her hair. After dinner mom is tired and just wants to go to bed. She doesn't fall asleep until close to 8 pm, but she wants her nightly spa treatment to relax. And this, takes a good hour or more. And then I hold her hand for a bit, while she falls asleep.

Tonight, mom wasn't asleep when it was time for me to leave, or she was and just didn't want me to leave. She kept reaching for my hand as I was about to leave. I feel guilty when she does this. If I lived in White Rock I wouldn't have to leave so early.

This bothers me. Actually it pisses me off that I can't find a place that I can afford.

Well mom ate really well tonight. I brought her a new smoothie today. And I am doing her laundry tonight. It just finished drying.

She is not having any problems swallowing tonight.

So I have to go. Since the laundry is finished I can go to bed. Or at least watch a few things which I downloaded.

I am getting all Gilligan's Island episodes so mom and I can watch them.

GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland

It is ever

Hello again

A good day. every bus I was on I knew the driver and I had many great conversations.

My knee's are really bothering me today. I have been in great pain. I have to keep my legs straight in order for them not to hurt. Difficult walking.

Mom was on the tired side, again. This is what happens when she is not getting the rest she deserves. This makes mom not to hungry and it is difficult for her to swallow when she is to tired.....

I brought her something she loves and it was hard for her to eat. When she was changed and in bed. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep.

A great day, but I have been in a very bad mood. I didn't want to speak with anyone at the home. Just the way it is .

Mom looked good today, though.

This store is having a huge sale on womens clothing. 70% off on most items. I would love to get mom a bunch of clothing. It doesn't matter if I bring them to her right away. She would still have them. But no money. I am pissed off at this.

I am such a looser, that when I find these sales, I don't have the money to take advantage of them.

OK, I haven't written in a few days. I have not been in the greatest mood and didn't want to write. But it is late and I need to go.

I have been falling asleep, with the laptop playing and waking up at 4 am, only to have problems falling back to sleep.

So I need to go. I will write more tomorrow.

GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland

Is it real or so

Hello again

I have many wants, but a few needs. This is the only thing I can really say for sure.

Who doesn't have wants or wishes

I want a 27" monitor, but my 15" laptop does just fine for me, for now. Yes I would like to watch movies or TV shows on something larger, but it is OK for now.

I can get all the CRT TV's I want, free, off of Craigslist. But I can't connect my laptop to any of them.

This Blog is an outlet for me.

Mom has rights as a resident of Al Hogg. Since she can't speak for herself, I am her voice. And I won't let mom's dignity and respect suffer. She has a right to sleep with the lights out and without a TV blaring. She has a right to have who she chooses to take care of her.

Since she is unable to speak for herself, I speak for her.

I am a very nice person, but does that mean I have to take or see abuse for anyone. NO! I have a right to speak out and do what is necessary to make sure mom has a decent and quit life. Peace is what she needs. Privacy is lacking, with this roommate. She is always in the room. We cannot even speak without this roommate interrupting us. This needs to stop. Mom needs sometime to herself.

We need time to be alone. To relax in peace, without a TV or hallucinations. Again it is not her fault, but the fault of the staff. Tonight for example, the TV was so loud I had to get someone to turn it down. And mom does not get to fall asleep, with the lights out. As so many other's do, at the home.

So mom ate more salad tonight, this will be two nights and she has had enough. So an omelet tomorrow. She is doing well. But tired, as she is so often. A little bit grumpy.

I do good things for people everyday. I pray that each and everyone I come in contact with, see's the light of GOD and that something happens that day, that will make them think of GOD.

I hate being praised for looking after my mother. I don't deserve it. And it is the right thing to do.

I hold the door open for all, and I give up my seat for other's, even though I am disabled.

Well another night and I am done for now.

I really have to start to write down my thoughts during the day.

GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland