Hello again
I was watching a show before I left today, and it was on, generation ME and the baby boomers who created them.
No manners, no care for another human being. Socially retarded, don't care what you think of them. And the worst part no compassion for our seniors or people with disabilities.
I see this every single day, in my travels. People do not offer me a seat on the bus or train. they push me. Even thought they see I walk with a cane and am disabled. But they do not care. Not concerned with anyone around them except themselves. Chivalry is out of the window. Health is gone. Communication is shot. They will text each other, while seating next to each other. Not speaking to each other the whole trip.
I see seniors get on the bus or train, and the seats that are for them or me, are taken up with kids. And do you think they get up and move, not a chance. But I do, I will give up my seat for anyone. I will stand it is OK.
Now this comes from parents wanting to be friends with their children. Not a chance. We are their to teach them manners and respect for the elderly and their seniors. As in excuse me sir or madam.
The word sorry is thrown around like a baseball, meaning nothing anymore. I do not use the word sorry except when it is really needed. I use the word excuse me. And this is proper. Table manners, to this generation, they have no clue. Even in restaurants, they give you a regular fork, instead of a salad fork. No body even knows how to hold a fork, spoon, knife. etc..... They do not know what glass is for what. Proper table edict.
I know all of this and I should be teaching this to our youth. This is important in life. Other cultures respect someone who knows edict and manners. The Japanese for one. I was raise with this part of my life always being their.
Speaking of manners. People who answer phones while speaking with someone else. It only took me once to learn this lesson. I was getting a ride back from dropping off my rental car and I was with another business man. We were talking and my phone rang. I immediately answered it. Well I over heard the business man tell the driver, that I was the rudest person, and raised without manners.
That is all it took. From that day on, if I am speaking with someone, I will not answer my phone Period. The other person always asks me if I am going to answer it, And I just say, I am speaking with you now. I have caller ID and voice mail. That is what they are for. And then I follow up with the only time I will answer the phone, is if a certain ring happens and that is the hospital about my mother. Who is sick.
Then If someone leaves a message on my voicemail. I usually just call them back to speak to them person to person. And they say, did you get my message. My reply is, no, but if you would like, I will hang up and check your message and I may or may not call you back. Or you could just tell me now. They always answer with, I will just tell you now.
Now about manners and the me generations.
I stopped going to the last church I attended for this reason and this reason alone.
It was Christmas time. A few weeks to go, actually a month before Christmas and my small group wanted to do something for Christmas. Well I suggested we call share ( A local organization that helps the needy) and choose one family, and give them the best Christmas they have had in a long time. This means, Decorate their yard, (if they have a yard) or their home. Right up there. And buy them great gifts and other necessary things for their home. And then give them a fantastic Christmas Dinner, with all the trimming and more. Have it a whole day affair.
And if it goes great, next year, pick two or three families. Well, what I got from the group, is lets pray about it. Again I almost became livid. Pray about it. Their response was, What if GOD does not want us to do this. Did not GOD in his own words tell us to love one anther and to do good for as many as we can. I am pretty sure it says that over and over again in the Bible. But I might be mistaken. Even though I have read the bible over and over again, daily for years now.
Well they then said why don't your call share and see what they say. I know what they will say. How many people can you help.
So we left it for that day, and the next week I brought it up again, and nothing. Remember we are now only a few weeks away from Christmas. One more week pasted by and still nothing from the group. So that was the end of that and that is when I decided it was over for that church. And new that the me generation even extended to the church and the baby boomers who occupy them.
I was completely lived and insulted. You see, I have seen this kind of no manners and I am only out for myself attitude for years now, while writing this blog. I do everything I can for my mother, I fight for her rights, with the hospitals, the doctors, the PGT
You see, by doing what I do for my mother. It is helping others see things differently.
I apply treatment to my mother. I care and love her. I help and do everything I can for her, every day. And again, I mean every single day. I spend more time traveling than I actually get to spend with my mother. 5 hours traveling for 2 hours of visiting. And this is me leaving Coquitlam at 1PM daily to get their, one half hour before her dinner. Everyday. day in and day out. I do this with all the love in my heart. And I don't do this for any other reason.
This is my mother and she is all I have left. I have seen my grandfather, than my father die of this disease and now mom has it. I did not get to spend as much time with the others as I would of liked to and I decided that this is going to be different. Mom needs me and I need her. We are one.
And all this time I write this blog. I ask for help, but not just for me, but for my mother. Through what I do and write. This will help many see and do things differently.
It is Christmas time and this is the time of the year when everyone is suppose to reach into their hearts and show love to their fellow man. I am hear and nothing. I go completely without, so my mother can have the best of things possible. Since the PGT is and does not help. Just take and take and take her money, until their will be nothing left and then they will just say good bye.
I have tried to get this company off the ground (www.adsaac.ca) but I need more time and resources. As in a phone. I try to explain this to the PGT and nothing. They tell me that this is exactly what they are about. But I really dont see it. Considering the new reports on them. (negative)
I have no one to speak with all the time. I go weeks without having a conversation with anyone else but my mother. Don't get me wrong, I love speaking with my mother. That is apparent, when I am none stop yapping the whole time I am their. To the point, mom will actually tell me to stop talking, so she can just listen to the music.
I write this so others will understand exactly what goes on and what one feels and thinks when they have a loved one with Alzheimer's and or Dementia. Everyone out their who are about to face this. And 49 to 60% of the baby boomers are going to develop Alzheimer's or Dementia in the next 20 years. Will maybe read this and understand what to expect. Both emotionally for them selves and their loved ones. Or what the physical degeneration will follow.
I have seen this for over 15 years now. And have been an extremely active part of this disease around my family. Their helping all the time. I have seen it all and know what is going to happen and what to tell everyone to not let the doctors and homes do to their loved ones.
By reading this you will know, exactly what to avoid. And what not to let the doctors do or give your loved ones. This has been nothing but a pain staking task. Not only helping mom, but also at the same time finishing an education. And wanting to do more. As well as wanting to start this business, to help our loved ones with this abuse.
This is all about the abuse of our parents, grandparent, husbands, sister, daughters. It is rampant and has to stop. Both physically, spiritually and financially.
I say that what I do is an important task that has to be done by someone. Someone who has the incite, to see the wrongs and the abuse. From being around this for many, many years now.
Yes it is not what everyone would think of as a job. But it is and it is an important one at that.
And now, it is Christmas again. And last year it was a horrible Christmas for mom and I. And if I don't get help right away. This Christmas will be even worse. Present less and nothingness is what is in store for mom and I this year. Unless someone or many people come through for us.
I have all the decorations for mom. But they are not any good. They are to old for this new facility. The tree is to big. The decorations are not shatterproof. And the lights, too old.
So everything has to be purchased again. I have spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on deportation for mom over the years. I try to make a different theme for the tree every year. This is I wanted to make it blue lights and white decorations. Only white decorations. Mom always loves the new themes I come up with. Never ending ideas.
But how is this possible now. The PGT has made promises over the last few months. To the tune of $3000. and I have waited for this. This would do everything I need to get done. But no. Of course not. This what always happens with them. The PGT will make a promise and then it is next week, then next week it will be the next week. The tactic of the stall.
If I would have these funds moms Christmas would be great. As it is, all the clothing I have purchased for mom over the last few years, are gone. And what mom has are mostly the clothing of mine that I have also given her. The really nice things I have purchased her are gone. Of course. And allot of my clothing of mine I have given her are also gone.
I need to replace these items, The cross she wore for years that I bought her. White Gold. Gone. Mom never took this off, until someone took it off of her. Even when mom had a bath,. It was never taken off. Good right, NOT.
I say all this tonight, following what I saw on the show today. That society has lost the ability to see others needs and help them. I am not insulting anyone. I am just speaking in generalizations. Well in my case maybe more to do with the fact that I have always been honest about everything on this blog. My feelings, moms feelings and problems.
So once more I reach out at this time of the year. Christmas and the time of our Saviors birth, that I ask for all assistance I can get. In what every form that it may be.
I will need to go now. It is 1:29 am and I started writing this at 12:AM.
So GOD Bless and good night
Kris
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Friday, December 2, 2011
Crazy or going insane
Hello again
I don't know if I am having a nervous break down or just going crazy. I am not a lover of Christmas, OK I like it but it always sucks, as this year is going too. Come on, I have nothing, broke. And the tree and decorations I have for mom, I can't use. To old. Needs to be new. A new tree, table top, 3 feet. and unbreakable decorations.
I have decorated mom's rooms for, well all the time, years now. This is something mom and I do every year. Mom helps me decorate and loves this very much. I don't have money for this. I can't disappoint mom this year.
This is why I dislike Christmas. I can never do this right. I feel like a complete looser. Especially this year. Mom is out of Valley view she has her own room and it gives me the opportunity to continue this tradition.
I have nothing and have to go for over a month, before I get anything. Mom is not eating and I have tried to do something about this. But I can't do anything now. I am getting no where with him at the PGT. they have made many promises in the last month or three and none have come to pass.
I need a phone to be able to contact the individuals and places for mom to move to.
I am singing Christmas tunes and I don't usually do this. I am happy about this and sad and depressed. I would love to go shopping like a normal person and have a phone. That would be a novelty.
It would be so great to be able to do this. $3000. was promised and nothing.
I mentioned about a part time job. This is all I can do. Once mom moves I will be walking her daily. Exercising her left arm. Helping her with her speech. Feeding her, spa treatment.
As I have stated that as soon as I get their, the staff don't do anything, except take her to the bathroom and change her for bed. Then add everything else, this is 5 hours. And with my traveling time.
Anyways I really need help. And I need your prayer's for help.
This is the time of the year, when it is necessary to keep mom;s mind off, of the fact that dad died a few years ago at this time.
I don't know how many Christmas' I have left with my mother, and I would like to make every single one of them count. It is important for mom and it is important for the memories that I will have afterwards. This is the only thing I will be able to hold on to.
Yes I should of been married with children by now and have the whole white picket fence thing going on. But does any one realize that maybe that was not in the cards for me. And that I was to be here for my mother. This is what I am suppose to do. To love and care for mom. To make sure everyday and every year is a wonderful time for her. To make sure mom has the best care possible and for her to enjoy all of what she has left. GOD bless she does not pass anytime soon.
There have been plenty of opportunities for me to get married, but it never felt right. This feels right. This feels like this is exactly what I am suppose to do. Deep in my heart, And to do whatever is necessary to make sure this happens. Without reservation.
I have never in my life felt the feeling of purpose as I feel now. To actually look after and care for someone. It has always been about me. And not anymore.
Sure I want a phone. A new TV and stereo. But mom is first and I am last. This is the way, my heart tells me it is to be. To put mom above everything and anything. And not to worry about what I will eat, or the clothes that I shall wear, or where I will sleep. But to trust that everything will work out the way it to be.
I just would like to keep warm and dry and be able to have the individuals I need to be able to get ahold of me and keep in touch with me. And to be able to pay bills.
I am getting extremely emotional right now, so I must leave you for now.
Please pray or contact the PGT on my behalf.
GOD Bless and good night
Kris
I don't know if I am having a nervous break down or just going crazy. I am not a lover of Christmas, OK I like it but it always sucks, as this year is going too. Come on, I have nothing, broke. And the tree and decorations I have for mom, I can't use. To old. Needs to be new. A new tree, table top, 3 feet. and unbreakable decorations.
I have decorated mom's rooms for, well all the time, years now. This is something mom and I do every year. Mom helps me decorate and loves this very much. I don't have money for this. I can't disappoint mom this year.
This is why I dislike Christmas. I can never do this right. I feel like a complete looser. Especially this year. Mom is out of Valley view she has her own room and it gives me the opportunity to continue this tradition.
I have nothing and have to go for over a month, before I get anything. Mom is not eating and I have tried to do something about this. But I can't do anything now. I am getting no where with him at the PGT. they have made many promises in the last month or three and none have come to pass.
I need a phone to be able to contact the individuals and places for mom to move to.
I am singing Christmas tunes and I don't usually do this. I am happy about this and sad and depressed. I would love to go shopping like a normal person and have a phone. That would be a novelty.
It would be so great to be able to do this. $3000. was promised and nothing.
I mentioned about a part time job. This is all I can do. Once mom moves I will be walking her daily. Exercising her left arm. Helping her with her speech. Feeding her, spa treatment.
As I have stated that as soon as I get their, the staff don't do anything, except take her to the bathroom and change her for bed. Then add everything else, this is 5 hours. And with my traveling time.
Anyways I really need help. And I need your prayer's for help.
This is the time of the year, when it is necessary to keep mom;s mind off, of the fact that dad died a few years ago at this time.
I don't know how many Christmas' I have left with my mother, and I would like to make every single one of them count. It is important for mom and it is important for the memories that I will have afterwards. This is the only thing I will be able to hold on to.
Yes I should of been married with children by now and have the whole white picket fence thing going on. But does any one realize that maybe that was not in the cards for me. And that I was to be here for my mother. This is what I am suppose to do. To love and care for mom. To make sure everyday and every year is a wonderful time for her. To make sure mom has the best care possible and for her to enjoy all of what she has left. GOD bless she does not pass anytime soon.
There have been plenty of opportunities for me to get married, but it never felt right. This feels right. This feels like this is exactly what I am suppose to do. Deep in my heart, And to do whatever is necessary to make sure this happens. Without reservation.
I have never in my life felt the feeling of purpose as I feel now. To actually look after and care for someone. It has always been about me. And not anymore.
Sure I want a phone. A new TV and stereo. But mom is first and I am last. This is the way, my heart tells me it is to be. To put mom above everything and anything. And not to worry about what I will eat, or the clothes that I shall wear, or where I will sleep. But to trust that everything will work out the way it to be.
I just would like to keep warm and dry and be able to have the individuals I need to be able to get ahold of me and keep in touch with me. And to be able to pay bills.
I am getting extremely emotional right now, so I must leave you for now.
Please pray or contact the PGT on my behalf.
GOD Bless and good night
Kris
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Just pissed off
Hello again
I am cold, I am broke, I can't walk through the malls, it gets me depressed. I have no decorations for my mother's room. I don't have the proper winter clothing. My fingers are freezing cold. I don't have gloves or a scarf.
No matter how many layer's I have on I am just plain cold. And tonight I was freezing and I just didn't care. So I think I am suffering now.
Today I almost did not get out of bed. I got up at noon. And then scrambled to get ready and left. I have no tea. And this is what I live on. I have no appetite and I am not eating.
I need to make this Christmas as great as possible. It cannot be as last year. Present less. Thanks to him, at the PGT
I have walked through a few stores last week and I saw beautiful gifts for mom. I have to get a phone so I can arrange a new place for mom.
By the way I have a job, I don't considerate a job, I am my mother's caregiver, and advocate. OK I don't get paid. But I get paid in other ways, that cannot be obtained from money.
I don't even know anymore if I should even continue to write this. I have been writing it for over 2 years and nothing.
I won't though. I need to get this out their. Other's need to know exactly what happens and what one feels during this experience.
Mom tonight ate some of her dinner. More rice, which she hates. She ate the coleslaw, with some pear in it and the chicken, most of it anyway.
I really need to do something about this matter, mom needs to eat. And not just a little bit. He from the PGT tells me all the time, the hospital supply;'s food. And I tell him yes, but if she won't eat it, she has to eat something. Or she gets sick.
I need this miracle now GOD I will completely loose it, if this Christmas is like last years nothing Christmas.
I need real help, and I need it now. From real people.
I reach out to you all for the sake of my mother. PLEASE
I really have to go. I know it is short but I need to go to bed
GOD Bless and good night
Kris
I am cold, I am broke, I can't walk through the malls, it gets me depressed. I have no decorations for my mother's room. I don't have the proper winter clothing. My fingers are freezing cold. I don't have gloves or a scarf.
No matter how many layer's I have on I am just plain cold. And tonight I was freezing and I just didn't care. So I think I am suffering now.
Today I almost did not get out of bed. I got up at noon. And then scrambled to get ready and left. I have no tea. And this is what I live on. I have no appetite and I am not eating.
I need to make this Christmas as great as possible. It cannot be as last year. Present less. Thanks to him, at the PGT
I have walked through a few stores last week and I saw beautiful gifts for mom. I have to get a phone so I can arrange a new place for mom.
By the way I have a job, I don't considerate a job, I am my mother's caregiver, and advocate. OK I don't get paid. But I get paid in other ways, that cannot be obtained from money.
I don't even know anymore if I should even continue to write this. I have been writing it for over 2 years and nothing.
I won't though. I need to get this out their. Other's need to know exactly what happens and what one feels during this experience.
Mom tonight ate some of her dinner. More rice, which she hates. She ate the coleslaw, with some pear in it and the chicken, most of it anyway.
I really need to do something about this matter, mom needs to eat. And not just a little bit. He from the PGT tells me all the time, the hospital supply;'s food. And I tell him yes, but if she won't eat it, she has to eat something. Or she gets sick.
I need this miracle now GOD I will completely loose it, if this Christmas is like last years nothing Christmas.
I need real help, and I need it now. From real people.
I reach out to you all for the sake of my mother. PLEASE
I really have to go. I know it is short but I need to go to bed
GOD Bless and good night
Kris
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
The PGT is at it again. about to ruin another Christmas
Hello Again
As the tittle states the PGT is about to ruin another Christmas as they did last year. It was a present less year, last year. I was the only one out of the three children with mom. Well as a matter of fact I am the only one with mom at all the holiday's. I had nothing to give mom but my heart and love. It was enough. But.
I did feel guilty. I don't normally do anything out of guilt, or really feel guilty. But having nothing under the tree, not even a lump of coal. Not even a tree. Where mom was did not allow it.
Here mom can have a tree, but what I have is no good, the tree, 5' tall is too big. And the decorations are not made of plastic.
Yeas presents are not everything. But in mom's state they matter the most. Allot of things to open. To receive. To give to her. To see the beautiful smile on her face. To feel as she reaches out to my face, and places her hand. Gently on my cheek, with a loving smile. A gentle touch by your mother, to show how she feels. Without having to say it.
Yet the PGT, in their greedy power. Decided it was not necessary to have that kind of Christmas, my mother would not know the difference anyways.
Though, he has never seen, nor spoke to my mother. He decides he knows her. As they all do. He decides that my mother didn't dress a certain way. Or that my sister's have a better understanding of my mother.
I don' see how. But, you know what let them think that. Let my sister's think that. GOD has a plan, a beautiful and absolute plan, that is unfolding as we speak.
What is Christmas anyways. It is the birth of our Lord and Saviour Christ, Jesus. Who brought peace to us all. And showed his love to the entire world. Bringing us closer together, even it is for this one time of the year. We put down our arms, we come together as families. We celebrate love.
The world is at peace,once a year!
And we, mom and I need, and have to have a decent Christmas together again. As I know my mother feels the loss of not having the great and magnificent meals she made in the past. And I know mom feels the loss of not having her daughter's their with her on this peaceful and glorious day.
PUT DOWN YOUR ARMS, I SAY. SHOW THAT LOVE STILL EXISTS. NOT FOR ME, BUT FOR MOM.
Let us pray together that each of us be able to see the beauty in your lives.
AMEN
Why is the PGT doing this. This is what they do. They ruin holiday's for their clients. They take away their freedoms. They deny their respect and dignity. This is another government corporation at work. Screw the poor. Let us steal all their money. Let us not allow them to even enjoy one day.
Or even let us not let them have decent meals. Not just the hospital food that they would not even consider eating, even for one meal.
A stocking hung with care. I doubt it. Jingle bells. Not a chance. Silver bells. I don't think so. This is the PGT's philosophy. NOTHING FOR ANYONE.
Let us bow down our heads in disbelief at their practices. Cruel and unusual punishment. Degrading at the least.
Can we see that the PGT is a corrupt corporation that thinks of no one but the bottom line. Their clients money of course.
How dare they deny my mother a wonderful Christmas. Considering what I just wrote to you.
I go out their,not out of having to, or got to. As so many people our saying lately. It is funny this is happening all the time now. At least twice a day now.
I do this because I want to. Not have to. It is a chose that I made,not because. Their are choses in life that we make that show what we are made of. But I do not do it for this reason either. Because I do not think I am worth anything. I do not think that I am even a man yet. I think of myself as a child.
Even though I spent the last many years finishing an education. Becoming something. I guess. I still suffer from sever depression. The medication helps a bit.
But all the problems I have or feel. Ends at the door before I even going into see mom. And from that point on it is only about mom and making her feel great and relaxed.
I think I need to do something outrageous to the PGT.
A phone is what I need and it is the same as last year. Wait until the new year. Their are always sales on. But we all know that ther is nothing on sale right after the new year.Especially cell phone plans.
Mobilicity has a great sale on now. And I am told the same old thing. Their is always sales on. Yes this may be true, but is it the plan you want, the item, the exact item, not usually. What you want is already gone. That is why people say get it anyways. You can always return it, if in a few days you decide it is not right for you.
As in clothing. I have finish my degree's and it is time to put it to work for me. I have some interviews set up for some part time work. This is all I can do. I need to have time for mom and her needs. But I do not have the clothing for this. I need to dress to reflect my educational achievements and how I reflect to the outer world is how the world thinks about you and treats you. As well as to keep warm and dry while traveling to see mom. It is wet and cold out. A difference for Vancouver.
Well I need to go, I want some toast and then to bed for me. As I woke up at 5AM and could not get back to sleep. Considering I went to sleep at 2:30 AM
GOD Bless and good night
Kris
Dress for success.
You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves you too full to embrace the present.
Jan Glidewell
As the tittle states the PGT is about to ruin another Christmas as they did last year. It was a present less year, last year. I was the only one out of the three children with mom. Well as a matter of fact I am the only one with mom at all the holiday's. I had nothing to give mom but my heart and love. It was enough. But.
I did feel guilty. I don't normally do anything out of guilt, or really feel guilty. But having nothing under the tree, not even a lump of coal. Not even a tree. Where mom was did not allow it.
Here mom can have a tree, but what I have is no good, the tree, 5' tall is too big. And the decorations are not made of plastic.
Yeas presents are not everything. But in mom's state they matter the most. Allot of things to open. To receive. To give to her. To see the beautiful smile on her face. To feel as she reaches out to my face, and places her hand. Gently on my cheek, with a loving smile. A gentle touch by your mother, to show how she feels. Without having to say it.
Yet the PGT, in their greedy power. Decided it was not necessary to have that kind of Christmas, my mother would not know the difference anyways.
Though, he has never seen, nor spoke to my mother. He decides he knows her. As they all do. He decides that my mother didn't dress a certain way. Or that my sister's have a better understanding of my mother.
I don' see how. But, you know what let them think that. Let my sister's think that. GOD has a plan, a beautiful and absolute plan, that is unfolding as we speak.
What is Christmas anyways. It is the birth of our Lord and Saviour Christ, Jesus. Who brought peace to us all. And showed his love to the entire world. Bringing us closer together, even it is for this one time of the year. We put down our arms, we come together as families. We celebrate love.
The world is at peace,once a year!
And we, mom and I need, and have to have a decent Christmas together again. As I know my mother feels the loss of not having the great and magnificent meals she made in the past. And I know mom feels the loss of not having her daughter's their with her on this peaceful and glorious day.
PUT DOWN YOUR ARMS, I SAY. SHOW THAT LOVE STILL EXISTS. NOT FOR ME, BUT FOR MOM.
Let us pray together that each of us be able to see the beauty in your lives.
AMEN
Why is the PGT doing this. This is what they do. They ruin holiday's for their clients. They take away their freedoms. They deny their respect and dignity. This is another government corporation at work. Screw the poor. Let us steal all their money. Let us not allow them to even enjoy one day.
Or even let us not let them have decent meals. Not just the hospital food that they would not even consider eating, even for one meal.
A stocking hung with care. I doubt it. Jingle bells. Not a chance. Silver bells. I don't think so. This is the PGT's philosophy. NOTHING FOR ANYONE.
Let us bow down our heads in disbelief at their practices. Cruel and unusual punishment. Degrading at the least.
Can we see that the PGT is a corrupt corporation that thinks of no one but the bottom line. Their clients money of course.
How dare they deny my mother a wonderful Christmas. Considering what I just wrote to you.
I go out their,not out of having to, or got to. As so many people our saying lately. It is funny this is happening all the time now. At least twice a day now.
I do this because I want to. Not have to. It is a chose that I made,not because. Their are choses in life that we make that show what we are made of. But I do not do it for this reason either. Because I do not think I am worth anything. I do not think that I am even a man yet. I think of myself as a child.
Even though I spent the last many years finishing an education. Becoming something. I guess. I still suffer from sever depression. The medication helps a bit.
But all the problems I have or feel. Ends at the door before I even going into see mom. And from that point on it is only about mom and making her feel great and relaxed.
I think I need to do something outrageous to the PGT.
A phone is what I need and it is the same as last year. Wait until the new year. Their are always sales on. But we all know that ther is nothing on sale right after the new year.Especially cell phone plans.
Mobilicity has a great sale on now. And I am told the same old thing. Their is always sales on. Yes this may be true, but is it the plan you want, the item, the exact item, not usually. What you want is already gone. That is why people say get it anyways. You can always return it, if in a few days you decide it is not right for you.
As in clothing. I have finish my degree's and it is time to put it to work for me. I have some interviews set up for some part time work. This is all I can do. I need to have time for mom and her needs. But I do not have the clothing for this. I need to dress to reflect my educational achievements and how I reflect to the outer world is how the world thinks about you and treats you. As well as to keep warm and dry while traveling to see mom. It is wet and cold out. A difference for Vancouver.
Well I need to go, I want some toast and then to bed for me. As I woke up at 5AM and could not get back to sleep. Considering I went to sleep at 2:30 AM
GOD Bless and good night
Kris
Dress for success.
You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves you too full to embrace the present.
Jan Glidewell
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Cold and I am feeling lonely
Hello again
Well today it was OK with regards to my travels, except when I got to White rock and got off the bus. Darn, It was like someone turned on the cold and wind fans.
This morning I wanted to do so much and contact so many people. but no phone and no well money. I wanted to make mom something good. As she is not eating. Today mom, again barely ate. It is really upsetting me and nobody seems to give a dam.
She was happy though. We had a good time talking and laughing. It was her usual routine. In bed by 7PM. The good thing is they took mom to the washroom and changed her, Early then usual.
So I am trying to get the clothing back that my sister's took and no luck so far.
It is almost December and this is the time when I would decorate mom's room. But what I have, is not acceptable. The tree is to big and the decorations, not appropriate. Mom helps me with this and I have to get a tree and decorations right away. This has become a tradition for us. And I can't disappoint her.
Mom relies on these little things in life. As everything else has been taken away from her. And again one of the staff, said to me that she would never do what I do. And she was counting the hours it takes me to get their and back. By the year, as well as the km's.
You know, I had to explain to mom that I don't care how long it takes or how far it is. I traveled to Mission and Abbostford there and back without any problems. I can at least get back home from White Rock. And no matter what I will never stop what I am doing. I do not do anything out of guilt. I do this out of love, for my mother. Never, Never, Never.
It really does piss me off big time when people say these things. I guess they really don't love their parents as much as I do. Yes some may say it is strange that I do this, but oh well. Too bad.
What I do for mom everyday, is exactly what mom deserves. Someone has to step up. I don't have anyone else. My only family. And I have no friends. I have gone for over a week now, speaking only to my mother. No one else. I have sometimes gone two or more weeks without speaking to another person besides my mother. Sometimes she tells me I am talking to much. Well I need to speak to someone. I have no phone. And yes I chatter from the moment I get their until I leave. Except when she tells me to shut up. I do.
You have to understand, I love my mother, and would die to do whatever she needs. Mom needs me and I her. I have no one else in my life and mom is my life. Period.
It is weird. I travel 110 km's aday and I don't speak to anyone. I thought I was personable. I was raised to be polite to everyone.
I don't know, I must give off the get away from me attitude. But people do say hi and smile at me. Oh well. Again.
Someday I guess I will figure it out. But for now I need to get mom to eat, what ever it takes. I will cook everyday for her and bring it out their. I still am not very hungry. It has been over a week since I ate and I am just not hungry, at all. I just want my tea. I don't know what the problem is. Before I was always hungry. Now not so much.
I just want mom to eat and I am worried about that. I need to decorate her room. And for me I need to be warm. If I am sick I can't visit her.
Well the little story I wrote a few days ago. Is now turning into a full length story. My version of Tiny Tim. It is only going to be a few pages long. So I will post it when it is done. I wrote over a page last night in Open Office. I will try to write more tonight.
I started at almost the end, so I thought I needed a beginning and a middle and the ending. So my brain started writing the story.
I really need to go now. As last night I was up until really late writing this and Tiny Tim.
GOD Bless and good night
Kris
Well today it was OK with regards to my travels, except when I got to White rock and got off the bus. Darn, It was like someone turned on the cold and wind fans.
This morning I wanted to do so much and contact so many people. but no phone and no well money. I wanted to make mom something good. As she is not eating. Today mom, again barely ate. It is really upsetting me and nobody seems to give a dam.
She was happy though. We had a good time talking and laughing. It was her usual routine. In bed by 7PM. The good thing is they took mom to the washroom and changed her, Early then usual.
So I am trying to get the clothing back that my sister's took and no luck so far.
It is almost December and this is the time when I would decorate mom's room. But what I have, is not acceptable. The tree is to big and the decorations, not appropriate. Mom helps me with this and I have to get a tree and decorations right away. This has become a tradition for us. And I can't disappoint her.
Mom relies on these little things in life. As everything else has been taken away from her. And again one of the staff, said to me that she would never do what I do. And she was counting the hours it takes me to get their and back. By the year, as well as the km's.
You know, I had to explain to mom that I don't care how long it takes or how far it is. I traveled to Mission and Abbostford there and back without any problems. I can at least get back home from White Rock. And no matter what I will never stop what I am doing. I do not do anything out of guilt. I do this out of love, for my mother. Never, Never, Never.
It really does piss me off big time when people say these things. I guess they really don't love their parents as much as I do. Yes some may say it is strange that I do this, but oh well. Too bad.
What I do for mom everyday, is exactly what mom deserves. Someone has to step up. I don't have anyone else. My only family. And I have no friends. I have gone for over a week now, speaking only to my mother. No one else. I have sometimes gone two or more weeks without speaking to another person besides my mother. Sometimes she tells me I am talking to much. Well I need to speak to someone. I have no phone. And yes I chatter from the moment I get their until I leave. Except when she tells me to shut up. I do.
You have to understand, I love my mother, and would die to do whatever she needs. Mom needs me and I her. I have no one else in my life and mom is my life. Period.
It is weird. I travel 110 km's aday and I don't speak to anyone. I thought I was personable. I was raised to be polite to everyone.
I don't know, I must give off the get away from me attitude. But people do say hi and smile at me. Oh well. Again.
Someday I guess I will figure it out. But for now I need to get mom to eat, what ever it takes. I will cook everyday for her and bring it out their. I still am not very hungry. It has been over a week since I ate and I am just not hungry, at all. I just want my tea. I don't know what the problem is. Before I was always hungry. Now not so much.
I just want mom to eat and I am worried about that. I need to decorate her room. And for me I need to be warm. If I am sick I can't visit her.
Well the little story I wrote a few days ago. Is now turning into a full length story. My version of Tiny Tim. It is only going to be a few pages long. So I will post it when it is done. I wrote over a page last night in Open Office. I will try to write more tonight.
I started at almost the end, so I thought I needed a beginning and a middle and the ending. So my brain started writing the story.
I really need to go now. As last night I was up until really late writing this and Tiny Tim.
GOD Bless and good night
Kris
Monday, November 28, 2011
It is Christmas all over and I
Hello Again
I want to say I am very aware of mom's inevitable end of her existence. Yes.. I see it every day. Mom is in a wheel chair, she barely uses her arms. I am the only one who understands her, barely. She cannot change herself. She needs help to go to the washroom. I have to feed her. Lift her up, Move her.
And you don't how this makes me feel on a daily basis'. I am hurting inside. Today was one of those days where I gave mom a good hug and it all came to me. That all of these things are not the mother I know. Yet this is the case and I will do what is necessary. I have to cherish every single moment I have with her. I can't take anything for granted. Yes people think I have nerves of steal. No I don't I just have to be strong and be their for my mother through thick and thin.
Mom;s husband died in December around the holiday's My father. It is a hard time of the year. Especially when I don't like Christmas as it is.
I am their for mom and will continue to do this. Mom was not suppose to make it through last year and here we are again. I don't know how many years we have left and I think it is worth enjoying all of them. Don't you think. These are the memories that will last forever and still my heart. Keep my soul warm. Because I know I did everything I could for mom. And this is why I am always asking for help. Because I need to do this. If I do one thing good in my life. Let this be it. Let me do all I can for my mother. And help me to accomplish this goal.
I live without and that is OK. Well it's not, I would like some things. Clothing, sound/music. I will move to White Rock for mom. I know I am not going to find a cure for this disease, but at least with my knowledge I can extend her life a few more years and maybe learn something for other's. To help someone else in life.
To maybe give my mother as much happiness as possible.To get her out of these homes that just hurt our loved one's. To get mom out and about to see things mom has missed for all these years being locked up. And restrain, and drugged.
To give mom her life back, or some of it anyways. She deserves this. She was their for me and I will be their for her.
I can't have mom live the rest of her life, locked up and drugged. Could you. We all work hard so we can enjoy our retirement, to the fullest. Don't we. You need to see for your self what I am speaking about. Come with me for a day. I will open your eyes up. And you will be disgusted by what you see.
Ever person that has come with me to visit my mother. Has been disgusted and ashamed of ourselves for letting this happen. And they refuse to come back.
Really I want all of you to come for one day. Today I cried like crazy after I put mom to bed and left the building. It was the big hug I gave her. Knowing that one day, I will not be able to do this. I was hurt, very deeply and painfully.
It is a very painful experience to see this happen to your mother. I do understand other's are just plain weak and can't take this. I see this as an opportunity to enjoy each and every moment of her remaining life. This is not to say that I am not going to cry myself to sleep and cry all the way home from visiting mom . Or crying the entire time I am their visiting her. Or does not mean that I won't just sit there while mom is sleeping, because I just need too.
I have never been anything as painful and beautiful before. My soul is touched, my life is touched. This has completely changed my world. It will change yours too.
GOD Bless and good night
Kris
"You have achieved success if you
have lived well, laughed often
and loved much."
- Author Unknown
I want to say I am very aware of mom's inevitable end of her existence. Yes.. I see it every day. Mom is in a wheel chair, she barely uses her arms. I am the only one who understands her, barely. She cannot change herself. She needs help to go to the washroom. I have to feed her. Lift her up, Move her.
And you don't how this makes me feel on a daily basis'. I am hurting inside. Today was one of those days where I gave mom a good hug and it all came to me. That all of these things are not the mother I know. Yet this is the case and I will do what is necessary. I have to cherish every single moment I have with her. I can't take anything for granted. Yes people think I have nerves of steal. No I don't I just have to be strong and be their for my mother through thick and thin.
Mom;s husband died in December around the holiday's My father. It is a hard time of the year. Especially when I don't like Christmas as it is.
I am their for mom and will continue to do this. Mom was not suppose to make it through last year and here we are again. I don't know how many years we have left and I think it is worth enjoying all of them. Don't you think. These are the memories that will last forever and still my heart. Keep my soul warm. Because I know I did everything I could for mom. And this is why I am always asking for help. Because I need to do this. If I do one thing good in my life. Let this be it. Let me do all I can for my mother. And help me to accomplish this goal.
I live without and that is OK. Well it's not, I would like some things. Clothing, sound/music. I will move to White Rock for mom. I know I am not going to find a cure for this disease, but at least with my knowledge I can extend her life a few more years and maybe learn something for other's. To help someone else in life.
To maybe give my mother as much happiness as possible.To get her out of these homes that just hurt our loved one's. To get mom out and about to see things mom has missed for all these years being locked up. And restrain, and drugged.
To give mom her life back, or some of it anyways. She deserves this. She was their for me and I will be their for her.
I can't have mom live the rest of her life, locked up and drugged. Could you. We all work hard so we can enjoy our retirement, to the fullest. Don't we. You need to see for your self what I am speaking about. Come with me for a day. I will open your eyes up. And you will be disgusted by what you see.
Ever person that has come with me to visit my mother. Has been disgusted and ashamed of ourselves for letting this happen. And they refuse to come back.
Really I want all of you to come for one day. Today I cried like crazy after I put mom to bed and left the building. It was the big hug I gave her. Knowing that one day, I will not be able to do this. I was hurt, very deeply and painfully.
It is a very painful experience to see this happen to your mother. I do understand other's are just plain weak and can't take this. I see this as an opportunity to enjoy each and every moment of her remaining life. This is not to say that I am not going to cry myself to sleep and cry all the way home from visiting mom . Or crying the entire time I am their visiting her. Or does not mean that I won't just sit there while mom is sleeping, because I just need too.
I have never been anything as painful and beautiful before. My soul is touched, my life is touched. This has completely changed my world. It will change yours too.
GOD Bless and good night
Kris
"You have achieved success if you
have lived well, laughed often
and loved much."
- Author Unknown
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Baa Hum bug continues
Hello again
Today, is another day of Christmas depression. It started out good. I got up early. Then I took a shower. But before the shower. Time to shave. Well I cut the crap out of my face today. It was going to happen. I have been using the same razor blade for over year and a half. Well it was time for rubbing alcohol like crazy. I was managed to make it look not to bad. But little nicks everywhere.
I really am telling you like it is, no bull shit. I only write the truth.
Well I just checked my email and tried to think of something to bring mom. Nothing! That I could bring her. This upsets me. As mom is still not eating much. And it is not healthy, I am extremely worried that mom is going to get sick.
This is not a good thing. I have brought it up with the PGT and no response. Nothing at all. All I know. is that he keeps telling me the hospital has food. And my response is always. Mom does not like the food and will not eat it. This was the problem at Riverview, where she through the food away. And got mad when they tried to feed food that she did not like.
I know mom eats what I bring and just about all of it. Well I always make more, so that is OK. And mom barely eats anything. As in tonight, it was chicken, and some veg's. No, nothing. I did have some fruit and mom ate that. Still that is not dinner.
I am actually getting pissed off. I don't normally get this mad. And it is directed at the PGT. they are going to have to supply funds for groceries. Don't worry, I have had no appetite for awhile now. It is the Christmas depression I have. I only want my tea and that is it. OK I am eating some nuts and that is it. And allot of what mom eats I just simply can't eat.
No caned food, no dairy, no pork, no fast food and I am finding more and more foods that I can't eat. And it is getting harder and harder to stay healthy myself. But I am only concerned about mom and her eating habit.
Let me back up, when walking to Coquitlam Centre. So I could cut through to the bus loop. I became soaking wet. I mean just drenched. From head to toes. And I means toes. Wet shoes mean wet toes, and well feet.
I was completely dry and had styled my hair nice, just the way mom likes it. Mom is always changing my hair when I get their. It seems she does not like it when I slick it back.
Then walking through the mall, my depression really hit me hard. Everyone shopping and laughing and smiling. Beautiful gifts under tow. Kids playing and goofing around. Lights abound. Everything in the festive space. Except for the fact I got $5.00 to last me a month. Make my mother's Christmas special.
Last year I was able to make mom's Christmas special and this year, so far not going to happen. Unless of course a huge miracle happens. And happens now. I need to make mom dinners, and get those dinner out to mom and out their hot.
I want to make mom a great Christmas again. Remember, mom has Dementia and lung Cancer and so far mom has lived far beyond what they expected her to live. Mom is, at this moment, healthier than I am.
So see my concern at making every holiday a special holiday, and to make everyday a special day. This is why I give mom a spa treatment everyday and this she loves.
GOD forbids mom goes anytime soon. But I don't know how much time I have left with her. Thank GOD the lung cancer has not spread and is holding it's own. This is why I am so insistent on making mom's life great and making sure each and every day is great.
I need this Miracle and please GOD now. They did not even think mom was going to make it through last Christmas. But she did. And during Christmas is when her husband died, my father. Mom knows it it coming up soon. The aniveristy of her husbands death.
This makes Christmas even more depressing. I am also trying to make sure mom has such a great Christmas that it lesson's the feeling of the lose of her husband. They were together 55 years or more. And mom is already starting to miss him, and I do as well. Right at Christmas is when her passed away. Come on now.
This is why I make each and every Christmas as special as possible and why I ask for everyone to find it in your heart and help us out.
Now back to the pitiful me. I did look around, window shopping as it were. And I found so much stuff, at great prices, and mom would look good in allot of the clothing I saw. And the clothing I saw for myself would keep me dry and warm. Which I do need. And a new razor and well I need everything. As I have nothing.
If I don't make sure this is a great Christmas for mom. I don't know what I will do. Christmas, and now especially, since dad passed away 3 years ago. And mom is still going strong. Alzheimer's and Dementia is a horrible disease and can take you just like that. One minute your healthy and the next gone. And add cancer to the mix and I pray everyday that mom makes it another day.
So more on Tiny Tim when I can think of it
I need to go, The story saddens me.
GOD bless and good night
Kris
Today, is another day of Christmas depression. It started out good. I got up early. Then I took a shower. But before the shower. Time to shave. Well I cut the crap out of my face today. It was going to happen. I have been using the same razor blade for over year and a half. Well it was time for rubbing alcohol like crazy. I was managed to make it look not to bad. But little nicks everywhere.
I really am telling you like it is, no bull shit. I only write the truth.
Well I just checked my email and tried to think of something to bring mom. Nothing! That I could bring her. This upsets me. As mom is still not eating much. And it is not healthy, I am extremely worried that mom is going to get sick.
This is not a good thing. I have brought it up with the PGT and no response. Nothing at all. All I know. is that he keeps telling me the hospital has food. And my response is always. Mom does not like the food and will not eat it. This was the problem at Riverview, where she through the food away. And got mad when they tried to feed food that she did not like.
I know mom eats what I bring and just about all of it. Well I always make more, so that is OK. And mom barely eats anything. As in tonight, it was chicken, and some veg's. No, nothing. I did have some fruit and mom ate that. Still that is not dinner.
I am actually getting pissed off. I don't normally get this mad. And it is directed at the PGT. they are going to have to supply funds for groceries. Don't worry, I have had no appetite for awhile now. It is the Christmas depression I have. I only want my tea and that is it. OK I am eating some nuts and that is it. And allot of what mom eats I just simply can't eat.
No caned food, no dairy, no pork, no fast food and I am finding more and more foods that I can't eat. And it is getting harder and harder to stay healthy myself. But I am only concerned about mom and her eating habit.
Let me back up, when walking to Coquitlam Centre. So I could cut through to the bus loop. I became soaking wet. I mean just drenched. From head to toes. And I means toes. Wet shoes mean wet toes, and well feet.
I was completely dry and had styled my hair nice, just the way mom likes it. Mom is always changing my hair when I get their. It seems she does not like it when I slick it back.
Then walking through the mall, my depression really hit me hard. Everyone shopping and laughing and smiling. Beautiful gifts under tow. Kids playing and goofing around. Lights abound. Everything in the festive space. Except for the fact I got $5.00 to last me a month. Make my mother's Christmas special.
Last year I was able to make mom's Christmas special and this year, so far not going to happen. Unless of course a huge miracle happens. And happens now. I need to make mom dinners, and get those dinner out to mom and out their hot.
I want to make mom a great Christmas again. Remember, mom has Dementia and lung Cancer and so far mom has lived far beyond what they expected her to live. Mom is, at this moment, healthier than I am.
So see my concern at making every holiday a special holiday, and to make everyday a special day. This is why I give mom a spa treatment everyday and this she loves.
GOD forbids mom goes anytime soon. But I don't know how much time I have left with her. Thank GOD the lung cancer has not spread and is holding it's own. This is why I am so insistent on making mom's life great and making sure each and every day is great.
I need this Miracle and please GOD now. They did not even think mom was going to make it through last Christmas. But she did. And during Christmas is when her husband died, my father. Mom knows it it coming up soon. The aniveristy of her husbands death.
This makes Christmas even more depressing. I am also trying to make sure mom has such a great Christmas that it lesson's the feeling of the lose of her husband. They were together 55 years or more. And mom is already starting to miss him, and I do as well. Right at Christmas is when her passed away. Come on now.
This is why I make each and every Christmas as special as possible and why I ask for everyone to find it in your heart and help us out.
Now back to the pitiful me. I did look around, window shopping as it were. And I found so much stuff, at great prices, and mom would look good in allot of the clothing I saw. And the clothing I saw for myself would keep me dry and warm. Which I do need. And a new razor and well I need everything. As I have nothing.
If I don't make sure this is a great Christmas for mom. I don't know what I will do. Christmas, and now especially, since dad passed away 3 years ago. And mom is still going strong. Alzheimer's and Dementia is a horrible disease and can take you just like that. One minute your healthy and the next gone. And add cancer to the mix and I pray everyday that mom makes it another day.
So more on Tiny Tim when I can think of it
I need to go, The story saddens me.
GOD bless and good night
Kris
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)