I don't know what this is.............

Hello again

I posted last night, but I copied and pasted from an email account and it did not show up on the blog. It was there, but could not be read. So I copied it to a word processor and will try it again. Not tonight though. About the PGT and the new case manager.

Tonight or should I say today, was not a good day. I am very weak and my hearing is really bad. I was on the phone seeing if I can get any help obtaining hearing aids. I just can't hear anything behind me anymore. My hand is really bad. shaking away. I have to hold it with my left hand to stop it from shaking.

The outbreak is not over yet. More residents are getting sick. Down mom's side. Yet mom is fine. She seemed to be a little tired today. I know she is bored. No one speaks with her. Not even the staff and they certainly don't give her anything to drink.

Lets see now, when I brought mom to her room, I found that the day staff had thrown a pillow on top of the Blue Ray player. Then when changing mom, one of the nightgowns I fixed had been torn again. And it took effort to do this, as I sewed it really good. Back and forth. And the PGT thinks the staff are above reproach. Can do nothing wrong. I only listen to what they say. They don't do that, that is what they tell me. REALLY!

Well I arrived early so I took mom to do her hair before dinner. This made her very relaxed. I try not to do this before dinner, because it makes her relaxed and then she doesn't eat much for dinner. I also had to change the duvet cover. When I changed the duvet cover I put the comforter in wrong so I had to do it all over again. I am not use to doing this. I don't have a comforter and it is difficult to tie the comforter to the duvet cover. It just took a while.

We had dinner, mom ate well. And her dessert as also. The care aid came and put her to bed and cleaned her. Then it was the usual spa treatment. Followed by me holding her hand. I found tonight that mom won't go to sleep unless I sing to her. She nudged me to do this for her tonight.

Mom knew, without even looking, that it was time for her to go to sleep.

I have to end this now. Hungry and nothing. Forced fast. For who knows how long.

Do I believe in miracles, I don't think I do anymore. Otherwise I would be living in White Rock. I am doing everything I can to get some help. And nothing.

GOD bless and good night. ( I am only writing this because this is what I do and maybe it helps someone)

Kris

The outbreak is almost over

Hello again

I arrive today and just about all the residents are out in the main dinning hall. Including my mother. Great news. Mom has not and will not be getting sick.

I just grabbed her and off we went to her room to get her some drinks and something to eat. Mom today was very talkative.  When mom is in a talkative mood, she speaks so fast that it is hard to understand her. She is not clear, but when she is speaking slower, I can read her better. After I gave her something to drink, she slowed down and I could read her. She just wanted someone to pay attention to her.

I made her chicken, but it was a little to spicy for her. So she ate the meat from the served dinner. The rest of the dinner I made her she ate. Then off to wash and style her hair. I did a great job today. To bad it will be ruined by tomorrow.

After the spa treatment, all mom wanted was to have the lights out, the music soft and to go to sleep.Which mean't she wanted me to go. Yet she didn't want to let go of my hand. I wish I could stay later.

I am really becoming stressed out over not being able to afford anything in White Rock. There are allot of places, which I have found lately, yet...........

I am done!

Just freaking out. Having a severe anxiety attack.

GOD bless and good night

Kris Schmuland

Just the way it is

Hello again

Not much happened on this beautiful day in the Lower Mainland. I think there is a dome over us. Warm.

Mom is still fine, even with others getting this flu. Good health.

I am getting weaker by the day.

Mom was in her room, I am not sure if this is a good thing or not. Isolation is not a good thing, even if it is to protect them. Boredom.

Time to get her out of the room, and outside for some fresh air. I will have to leave at 11 am to be able to get mom out for a little bit.

Still, the form is not signed. Got it back from the doctor. I found out that he doesn't even have all of my medical records. I know I signed a document giving him permission to get them from my previous doctor. I guess they didn't do that.

Okay, the care aid told the nurse I put mom in bed and then the manager had a word with me about this. Well, It went more like this. I need to have a word with you. You don't want me to be putting mom to bed. That is what it was. Simple.

Anyways mom and I waited half and hour before the girls came in. I could of had her spa treatment finished by then.

I didn't have anything for mom this evening. Just her smoothie and fruit. She had to eat the disgusting dinner that was served. Mom did eat it, but was not to impressed.

I finished the spa treatment. Mom is bending her legs more now. A little bit at a time.

I have to get in touch with her doctor. I want some x-rays done.

Like I said, not much going on today.

I had no desire to get back to Coquitlam. Nothing here for me anymore. Nothing even in my fridge. I am starting to have severe anxiety, it is getting worse.

I didn't even sleep last night, That is how bad it is getting.

GOD bless and good night.

Kris Schmuland

Many bad days ahead

Hello again

Mom is well, she has not caught the Gastorol Intestinal disorder (Stomach flu for the rest of us) Still others are getting it. It is because I feed her well, getting enough fruit, fiber and vegetables each day Plus vitamins and supplements. Mom is just one of those lucky individuals who don't get sick. As it is with myself.

I am trying to keep her away from the other's until this is over. And when I am their I am with her always. The only time I leave her side is to warm up her dinner.

Today, mom did not want me to let go of her hand. When I did, she would slap her hand and reach for my hand. She would stop when I grabbed her hand again. Unless I told her what I needed to do. As in cut up the papaya. I try to get everything cut up and everything arranged before I start to feed her. This way I can keep holding her hand while I feed her.

I was only able to get mom Sushi today. That is all I could afford. Nothing tomorrow. Don't have it. But the dinner that was served was so small it would not even fill up an infant. Runny meat. Yes it was runny. I have been bringing mom a vegetarian diet for a while now. Cheaper.So the meat portion of her meal is what is being served.

After I put the music on and changed mom. So I put her to bed to get the spa treatment started. This way mom did not have to sit in her chair waiting. All mom wants to do when dinner is finished, is go to bed. So I put her in bed. The care aid came in, changed her. Oh she's in bed. is what she said to me. I knew she was going to rat me out for putting mom to bed. And she did.

They still don't get it. I can do their job as well or better than they can. Over a decade of experience doing just this. Looking after someone with Alzheimer's,strokes etc....Not to impressed, will be saying something about it.

Anyway, I have been singing allot as of late. And mom has loved every bit of it. Smiling while she is relaxing with her eye's closed.

Now it is getting worse for me now. I am not hearing behind me. It is making me paranoid. Constantly looking. I just don't hear things or people that are behind me. Tried again to tell the doctor this today. He tells me you haven't said anything to me about this. I tell him all the time. I need hearing aids and can't afford them. You need to sign this form. Even if I have Parkinson's, it is just starting.  But I still need the doctor to sign some forms for me.

Also I am tired of eating pasta. Every night for at least two weeks. One meal a day. All I have, not anymore.  I am getting weaker, no protein in my diet, only carbohydrates.

I am done for today. To weak to continue.

GOD bless and good night.

Kristopher Schmuland