Hello again
It has been raining buckets since last night. I was soaked twice today. Yes twice. Got soaked then dried off, then continued on my journey to White Rock, where I was soaked again by the time I made it to mom's.
Tonight as soon as mom grabbed my hand, she started to fall asleep. I was their, was what I saw in her eye's. Even though mom was tired and just wanted to go to bed after dinner. Not wanting for me to wash her hair. She was still very thirsty and hungry.
And mom ate everything I brought for her. I mean everything. Of course she didn't touch the served dinner. It was almost to late by the time they brought it to mom. We were just about done. Mom didn't want to let go of my hand, even when I needed both hands to cut things up. She was reaching for my hand and complaining that I wasn't grabbing it.
No sooner did I start to wash her dishes, she was falling asleep. I have tried to let people know that I don't really hear them if they are speaking to me when they are behind me. This one guy, said hello and how are you doing. I didn't even know he was there until I turned around and he said to me I asked you how you were doing, but you didn't answer me, so I answered for you. Okay I said.
I got mom to her room, quickly changed her and by that time the care aid came in and put her to bed.
By the way, during dinner mom was singing with me to certain songs. It was great. The words did not come out correctly, but I didn't say anything. Part of the disease. I know in mom's head they were the correct words. And she just mumbled most of the words. But mom was singing with me. That is all that matters. She heard the correct words, okay.
Before I even finished the spa treatment and the exercising of her legs. Mom was just about asleep.
I sang our good night song to her and gave her a kiss good night. Then just stood there for a while holding her hand.
Off I went.
I have not told anyone about my diagnosis. I haven't even been able to deal with it myself.
Tonight when I got home, I saw a bsmt suite for rent in White Rock. Yea, again I don't have the money for it. I am now ready to just give up. The landlord said the other day, I need to be out by May. He and his girlfriend are moving in to the downstairs suite.
I hope that weather is nice. I am going to need it to be that way, being homeless and all.
I am not impressed with anything right now. Being told that you have Parkinson's disease, doesn't make for a fun week. Then finding out I have to be out in a few months.
As well as to now deal with a new PGT case manager who says one thing and than another. With her I have to hear what she is saying and hear what she is not saying.
I am fed up. I need a break.
In all the years I have been taking care of my parents and now mom. Not a single person has helped me in anyway.
Allot of people think I don't deserve help. That I am an asshole. I take great care of my mother. NO one else takes care of their loved one as I do.There has not even been someone who even asked me if I am alright, lets go for coffee. etc..... I have done everything myself. Fighting for her rights, constantly having deal with the care aids. The abuse of my mom. And all the formal complaints that go along with these things.
I do everything I can for mom. I keep asking for some kind of help. But, no,nothing. Mom deserves me to be out their for her. If not for me, but for my mother. I am not asking for much. Cheap rent and I will help out. Help do things around the place.
I am really tired of people who say you will be blessed. I don't believe a single word of it, anymore. I have been struggling to stay healthy. I am in pain all the time.
Enough. I am done.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Saturday, January 24, 2015
Friday, January 23, 2015
Was a good day and then...................
Hello again
Let us start with how mom is today. She was wearing some of the new clothing I have purchased for her. And mom looked great. This with a huge smile made her look even better. But she was very thirsty. I took her from the dinning room, down to her bedroom to give her something to drink. She drank quit a bit. After she wanted some chocolate, which I always give to her, before and after dinner.
It was her day to have her hair done, Well one of them anyways.
So I went to the neurologist to find out the results to all the tests I have had. CT scan, MRI and several other tests. It is not good news. It was to rule out a brain tumor or a stroke. As certain diseases you can't tell from these scans. As in Parkinson's or MS. This is from what he neurologist tells me anyways. Not good news for me. I am not ready to except it or even write or speak about it. I have had this tremor for over a year now. Getting a little worse. My family physician got worried. Didn't tell me anything except he wanted me to see the neurologist. My doctor sent for all these tests. Since I had to wait 6 months for my appointment to see the neurologist. Tests in had, he tells me.
This Blog today is a combination of the last two days. I swore I wrote all this down yesterday. It wasn't here and this was a draft. To weird. Loosing it.
Mom last night was good as it states above, but tonight mom was great when I arrived and then she became very tired. During the meal she started chewing slower and slower. This mean't she was becoming increasingly tired.
I got her to bed as quick as possible. The care aid came in to change her. Then mom was off to sleep. When the nurse came in to give om her nightly medication, mom was not to pleased about this. She was fussing and very upset. She was asleep, then to be woken up to be given this horrible tasting medicine. I wouldn't be to pleased with this either.
I am messed up today and have been since my appointment.
Please pray I find a place near mom. It is going to be ruff over the next bit.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Let us start with how mom is today. She was wearing some of the new clothing I have purchased for her. And mom looked great. This with a huge smile made her look even better. But she was very thirsty. I took her from the dinning room, down to her bedroom to give her something to drink. She drank quit a bit. After she wanted some chocolate, which I always give to her, before and after dinner.
It was her day to have her hair done, Well one of them anyways.
So I went to the neurologist to find out the results to all the tests I have had. CT scan, MRI and several other tests. It is not good news. It was to rule out a brain tumor or a stroke. As certain diseases you can't tell from these scans. As in Parkinson's or MS. This is from what he neurologist tells me anyways. Not good news for me. I am not ready to except it or even write or speak about it. I have had this tremor for over a year now. Getting a little worse. My family physician got worried. Didn't tell me anything except he wanted me to see the neurologist. My doctor sent for all these tests. Since I had to wait 6 months for my appointment to see the neurologist. Tests in had, he tells me.
This Blog today is a combination of the last two days. I swore I wrote all this down yesterday. It wasn't here and this was a draft. To weird. Loosing it.
Mom last night was good as it states above, but tonight mom was great when I arrived and then she became very tired. During the meal she started chewing slower and slower. This mean't she was becoming increasingly tired.
I got her to bed as quick as possible. The care aid came in to change her. Then mom was off to sleep. When the nurse came in to give om her nightly medication, mom was not to pleased about this. She was fussing and very upset. She was asleep, then to be woken up to be given this horrible tasting medicine. I wouldn't be to pleased with this either.
I am messed up today and have been since my appointment.
Please pray I find a place near mom. It is going to be ruff over the next bit.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
It is almost like spring
Hello again
I am going to be brief tonight, as I have a neurologist appointment tomorrow morning, early. To find out why I have a tremor in my right arm. Looked it up on line. Not a good thing to do. Now I am worried.
Anyways, I went downtown to speak with the individual at the PGT and there is someone else that is going to be handling my mother's case file.
Now mom had the biggest smile on her face when I arrived. Brought her down to her room and then the OT showed up and started on this agenda of hers. Wouldn't listen to anything that I was trying to say. Cut me off most of the time. But I will write on this matter tomorrow night.
Mom is doing very well these days. Healthy happy. Since it is Tuesday, we went downstairs to eat in the large family room. This mom likes. Total privacy. Very quite. Keeps her calm. This is why I separate us during dinner. Mom needs to be in a quite environment for mom to eat, so she can digest her food properly.
Afterwards, we were finished early, so we had time to relax before the care aid came in and put mom to bed and change her.
Then the spa treatment. I do have to say that all the work I have been doing on her legs is paying off. she is able to bend them much further.
Since we were finished everything early, I had time to just stand there and hold her hand while she fell asleep. But mom doesn't fully fall asleep until I sing to her our good night song. Then and only then will she be ready to completely fall into a deep sleep.
I do need to go now, need to eat and get to bed. Or at least try to sleep.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
I am going to be brief tonight, as I have a neurologist appointment tomorrow morning, early. To find out why I have a tremor in my right arm. Looked it up on line. Not a good thing to do. Now I am worried.
Anyways, I went downtown to speak with the individual at the PGT and there is someone else that is going to be handling my mother's case file.
Now mom had the biggest smile on her face when I arrived. Brought her down to her room and then the OT showed up and started on this agenda of hers. Wouldn't listen to anything that I was trying to say. Cut me off most of the time. But I will write on this matter tomorrow night.
Mom is doing very well these days. Healthy happy. Since it is Tuesday, we went downstairs to eat in the large family room. This mom likes. Total privacy. Very quite. Keeps her calm. This is why I separate us during dinner. Mom needs to be in a quite environment for mom to eat, so she can digest her food properly.
Afterwards, we were finished early, so we had time to relax before the care aid came in and put mom to bed and change her.
Then the spa treatment. I do have to say that all the work I have been doing on her legs is paying off. she is able to bend them much further.
Since we were finished everything early, I had time to just stand there and hold her hand while she fell asleep. But mom doesn't fully fall asleep until I sing to her our good night song. Then and only then will she be ready to completely fall into a deep sleep.
I do need to go now, need to eat and get to bed. Or at least try to sleep.
GOD bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
Monday, January 19, 2015
Right at it, already
Hello again
Right away, my week has started off being very busy. Needed to get up early today, after a night of restless sleep. Getting up every few hours, not being rested for the rest of the day. I am extremely tired right now and have been all day. And tomorrow and the next few days are going to be the same.
I have an early neurologist appointment Wednesday which means hardly any sleep Tuesday night. Since I don't get home until 10:30 PM. My doctor is very worried about somethings. I am as well.
Have not heard from the ............... So mom is now suffering because of them. Isn't that nice. Great to be old isn't it. Have to suffer at the hands of someone whom only visits once a year. And you don't even know. And this all took place because of her brother. Who had no right to hand mom's life over to the PGT in the first place.
And now she suffers. It is a huge deal to get anything done with these individuals. One almost has to beg to get something done. And then wait until they are good and ready. We are at their beck and call. This is absolute Bullshit.
My mother deserves respect and to be able to have what makes her healthy and happy. They say it benefits me. I don't think so. I go without eating for sometimes a few weeks. I go without allot of things. Clothing that fits, Shoes that don't have holes in them. Warm sweaters. A decent place to live that I might be able to have heat. Or be close by, so I could walk to see mom and be able to bring mom over once or twice a week.
And all I want for mom is to be happy and healthy. To keep her calm, to keep her alive. To make sure someone is there that loves her and cares for her. To pay my respect for all the years mom had to raise me and then deal with all the other crap.
It is so beautiful when I arrive and mom see's me. The big smile that comes upon her face. And mom is getting worse off. Another "Bull Shit" to that.
So after I arrived to see mom, we went down to her room to give her something to drink and get ready to go for dinner. (By the way, since Al Hogg has brought this rule in, that family members are no longer able to use the microwave, sinks, the fridge, I have had to carry all of her beverages back and forth. That is 12 different bottles of drinks. An extra 15lbs. If I don't do this, mom is going without. I am denying her what she is use to on a daily basis'. So I suck it up and carry everything. I weighed the bag and it is 50 lbs)
I gave mom as much as she wanted to drink, as I always do and then off we went to our table. I then had to get a staff member to heat mom's dinner up. And mom ate and ate. I love that she has a great appetite. Then she was done. Mom does not even have to say anything. I know exactly when mom is done dinner and wants her dessert. I stop at this shop and they have inexpensive desserts. $2.25 for a slice of cheese cake or other desserts. Mom loves them. It is not much, but it makes her happy.
I then got her ready for bed. Changed her, put her nightgown on, put a blanket on her and then waited for the care aid to come in, to put her into bed. This care aid is a regular, so I know exactly what time she will be in.
I gave mom her daily spa treatment. I have been using samples that I have received, to give mom her spa treatment, and I will be running out of these soon. We finished and mom grabbed my hand and fell off to sleep. When her hand relaxed I knew she was completely asleep. So time to head off.
I really need to go now. I am starting to fall asleep. I didn't eat last night, as someone was here when I got home and we talked for a while. Then I needed to do some writing. I looked up and it was almost 1: 30 AM. I just had some crackers and butter. Good enough. I needed to be up early to make a phone call that was a preset time today. Important. but I was up almost every hour last night. This has been happening allot over the last 6 months. I am completely exhausted.
GOD bless and good night.
Kristopher Schmuland
Right away, my week has started off being very busy. Needed to get up early today, after a night of restless sleep. Getting up every few hours, not being rested for the rest of the day. I am extremely tired right now and have been all day. And tomorrow and the next few days are going to be the same.
I have an early neurologist appointment Wednesday which means hardly any sleep Tuesday night. Since I don't get home until 10:30 PM. My doctor is very worried about somethings. I am as well.
Have not heard from the ............... So mom is now suffering because of them. Isn't that nice. Great to be old isn't it. Have to suffer at the hands of someone whom only visits once a year. And you don't even know. And this all took place because of her brother. Who had no right to hand mom's life over to the PGT in the first place.
And now she suffers. It is a huge deal to get anything done with these individuals. One almost has to beg to get something done. And then wait until they are good and ready. We are at their beck and call. This is absolute Bullshit.
My mother deserves respect and to be able to have what makes her healthy and happy. They say it benefits me. I don't think so. I go without eating for sometimes a few weeks. I go without allot of things. Clothing that fits, Shoes that don't have holes in them. Warm sweaters. A decent place to live that I might be able to have heat. Or be close by, so I could walk to see mom and be able to bring mom over once or twice a week.
And all I want for mom is to be happy and healthy. To keep her calm, to keep her alive. To make sure someone is there that loves her and cares for her. To pay my respect for all the years mom had to raise me and then deal with all the other crap.
It is so beautiful when I arrive and mom see's me. The big smile that comes upon her face. And mom is getting worse off. Another "Bull Shit" to that.
So after I arrived to see mom, we went down to her room to give her something to drink and get ready to go for dinner. (By the way, since Al Hogg has brought this rule in, that family members are no longer able to use the microwave, sinks, the fridge, I have had to carry all of her beverages back and forth. That is 12 different bottles of drinks. An extra 15lbs. If I don't do this, mom is going without. I am denying her what she is use to on a daily basis'. So I suck it up and carry everything. I weighed the bag and it is 50 lbs)
I gave mom as much as she wanted to drink, as I always do and then off we went to our table. I then had to get a staff member to heat mom's dinner up. And mom ate and ate. I love that she has a great appetite. Then she was done. Mom does not even have to say anything. I know exactly when mom is done dinner and wants her dessert. I stop at this shop and they have inexpensive desserts. $2.25 for a slice of cheese cake or other desserts. Mom loves them. It is not much, but it makes her happy.
I then got her ready for bed. Changed her, put her nightgown on, put a blanket on her and then waited for the care aid to come in, to put her into bed. This care aid is a regular, so I know exactly what time she will be in.
I gave mom her daily spa treatment. I have been using samples that I have received, to give mom her spa treatment, and I will be running out of these soon. We finished and mom grabbed my hand and fell off to sleep. When her hand relaxed I knew she was completely asleep. So time to head off.
I really need to go now. I am starting to fall asleep. I didn't eat last night, as someone was here when I got home and we talked for a while. Then I needed to do some writing. I looked up and it was almost 1: 30 AM. I just had some crackers and butter. Good enough. I needed to be up early to make a phone call that was a preset time today. Important. but I was up almost every hour last night. This has been happening allot over the last 6 months. I am completely exhausted.
GOD bless and good night.
Kristopher Schmuland
A weekend done
Hello again
I have not written this weekend as I have had to write complaints and letters to others concerning my mother's care. AS well as research on who to call next regarding the non use of the microwave and now even I cannot use the sink.
REALLY! COME ON NOW
I also have to deal with the PGT. And all my readers know exactly who I am writing about. He/she doesn't like to have their name written on my Blog. The last time, I was threatened, that he/she would not do anything to help me, out. By helping me out I mean to say, doing what is right to assist my mother. And that is the issue now.
Talking out of their ass, saying my mothers health is deteriorating and what good are the supplements and cosmetics doing for her. Peace of mind, making mom feel good. Keeping her healthy. And on top of this, who is the one that is their every single day. I am the one who would know how my mother's health is.
They go on to say. What are you an expert, do you have a PHD. Well I am an expert. By the standard definition of what makes someone an expert. I have been taking care of someone (s) who has/had Alzheimer's and strokes. I know what to do, how to do it. And if I don't know something or how to do something. I know exactly where to look to find the information I need. The research I need. The white papers I need to read. Who to contact, at what research facilty.
]
But I won't name names. I said I wouldn't do that anymore to them.
So mom has been doing very well. Great appetite . She ate two meals the other day. And was still hungry. I gave her whatever I could find. Besides chocolate. I just don't want mom to eat to much chocolate in one sitting. Not good her.
One side note, what makes it all worth while is at the end of the day, when mom is in bed and falling asleep, She will grab my hand, pull it close to her and then a big smile comes over her face. At this point she feels safe and falls off to sleep. With that smile on her face.
That makes all the traveling I do worth while. It makes everything worth all the effort. Excuse me there is no effort. It is what it is. I do what is needed to be done.
Over the weekend mom has been talkative. I can get most of what she is saying. Yet sometimes she speaks so quickly, I can't get everything. And no she is not clear at all. Mom just mumbles. But being able to read people I know what she is saying.
Mom has been singing away with me. Mary. All she want to do is hold my hand and enjoy the company. She loves music. It relaxes her and help mom to eat better. And music does really help those with Alzheimer's. The right music. Not just anything.
I know this from the research I have done on music therapy.
I just have to finish with the fact mom completely trusts me and knows I am there for her and will be. Mary knows I will do what is needed.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher Schmuland
I have not written this weekend as I have had to write complaints and letters to others concerning my mother's care. AS well as research on who to call next regarding the non use of the microwave and now even I cannot use the sink.
REALLY! COME ON NOW
I also have to deal with the PGT. And all my readers know exactly who I am writing about. He/she doesn't like to have their name written on my Blog. The last time, I was threatened, that he/she would not do anything to help me, out. By helping me out I mean to say, doing what is right to assist my mother. And that is the issue now.
Talking out of their ass, saying my mothers health is deteriorating and what good are the supplements and cosmetics doing for her. Peace of mind, making mom feel good. Keeping her healthy. And on top of this, who is the one that is their every single day. I am the one who would know how my mother's health is.
They go on to say. What are you an expert, do you have a PHD. Well I am an expert. By the standard definition of what makes someone an expert. I have been taking care of someone (s) who has/had Alzheimer's and strokes. I know what to do, how to do it. And if I don't know something or how to do something. I know exactly where to look to find the information I need. The research I need. The white papers I need to read. Who to contact, at what research facilty.
]
But I won't name names. I said I wouldn't do that anymore to them.
So mom has been doing very well. Great appetite . She ate two meals the other day. And was still hungry. I gave her whatever I could find. Besides chocolate. I just don't want mom to eat to much chocolate in one sitting. Not good her.
One side note, what makes it all worth while is at the end of the day, when mom is in bed and falling asleep, She will grab my hand, pull it close to her and then a big smile comes over her face. At this point she feels safe and falls off to sleep. With that smile on her face.
That makes all the traveling I do worth while. It makes everything worth all the effort. Excuse me there is no effort. It is what it is. I do what is needed to be done.
Over the weekend mom has been talkative. I can get most of what she is saying. Yet sometimes she speaks so quickly, I can't get everything. And no she is not clear at all. Mom just mumbles. But being able to read people I know what she is saying.
Mom has been singing away with me. Mary. All she want to do is hold my hand and enjoy the company. She loves music. It relaxes her and help mom to eat better. And music does really help those with Alzheimer's. The right music. Not just anything.
I know this from the research I have done on music therapy.
I just have to finish with the fact mom completely trusts me and knows I am there for her and will be. Mary knows I will do what is needed.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher Schmuland
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