Mom's move.

Hello again

Well it has been three day's now since mom moved into the Al Hogg pavilion, next door to the Weatherby pavilion.

I have one large issue and that is outside mom's window is a power substation. And there have been to many cases of leukemia's and other cancerous tumors in people who have lived near these stations. I need her to be moved and I just finished an email to the manager at the Al Hogg pavilion. It is not safe for mom and for me as well.

Then there is the accommodation it's self. One being it is shared. Two being, mom is in the corner of the room and the other lady is taking up the rest of the space. To the point where I can 't even turn mom's wheelchair around in this space. It is with great difficulties for me to even move around mom's bed to close the drapes. Walking around mom's bed causes me to bump into the other lady's bed. Thus disturbing her.

Then there is the issue with the other women's TV. At night mom requires darkness and quit. The TV is on all the time that I am aware of. They say it is not on all night long. But is this fare to mom, who likes to be in a quite environment when she sleeps. I think not. To have to go to sleep with someone else's TV blaring at you. It is to the point where, even at full volume, it is hard to hear the music from my phone. Which mom loves to listen to while giving her the nightly spa treatment.

And finally for now. The issue of toileting mom. They state that mom needs a lift to be put into bed. And thus she gets a bed pan. Mom uses the toilet, not a bed pan. Ever where else mom has lived there was not an issue surrounding this. Mom simply used the toilet before bed.

Now I have said this. There are pluses to this new place. I can actually cook mom a meal their. There is a kitchen which is fully stocked with everything needed to make a meal.

And the light is no where near as harsh.

The staff, so far are very nice. Well to be honest, there is a care aid that has consistently been rude to me. And it is only three days that mom has been their and I have only seen this women two of these three days. I am not pleased at the way she spoke to me and the other individuals that live their.

The food, well it is the same food as Oceanside. So no change there.

There is no yelling, so far. It is an open space layout.

The other residents seem likable to mom.

Mom is happier in the Al Hogg pavilion. Minus her living arrangements and the power substation.

Mind you I am only there three hours a day, for her dinner and to put her to bed. And then singing to mom her good night song.

So I don't see what goes on the rest of the day.

They do, however, have crafts, reading night, and music therapy. This is what I know so far.

I will state this though. This is only temporary, as I need mom to have her own living space. No roommates. And not living near a power substation. I was not even aware of this, until mom moved here.

Other than these issues, the space is nice. Not her room.

I need to go now,

GOD bless and good night.

Questions

Hello again

Well I have been asked this question lately. "What is somethingg that keeps you going everyday?"

I do not even know how to answer this question, as I don't even know myself. It is not because I have a great diet and eat well. As a matter a fact I have been living on popcorn for a week. And the last several days, nothing. So it can't be that.

I say, that I had meals made and frozen for mom. And that is what I was giving her. While I ate nothing or very little.  Bags of prawns, chicken breasts, made meals. Not mine, so I don't touch them.  When I get things for mom, they are mom's. And I don't touch anything I make, buy or anything or mom's

I can say for a fact that no one would do this. Mom is first, even if that means I don't eat. It is not part of today's societies belief structure. " I am first" is the way I and other's view today's society.

So I believe it is honor, the right thing, being their, giving of one's self completely. This is what I believe to be the answer to this question.

I have been called a energizer battery, as I go and go and go. I just do it. I need to be their for mom. So no matter what I feel like I just go and do what is necessary. It is only the right thing to do.

Today I packed mom's room up. And spoke with mom about the move. She knows she will be sharing a room. And this will only be temporary.

Is this the best thing for mom. To keep being moved. I think not. Again, if I were to of known, the answer would of been no.

Mom was tired tonight. As she is on the weekends. It has been this way the whole time, mom has been their. So tonight she didn't want her hair washed. So it was the spa treatment time. This is what I love to do. It completely relaxes mom.

But it is very late 1:43 am and I need to get to bed. Mom is moving today and I need to get their early. Time for another conversation with the staff. The manager, social worker, etc... You get it.

GOD bless and good night.

Kris

Blame

Hello again

Blame an interesting word. First I don't blame anyone for my position in life. I have been thinking about this today, and it was brought to my attention, by, well, myself.

I am the one who became an alcoholic, I put the beer to my lips. I am the one who was a pot head. No one forced me to do anything. I have not drank anything or smoked anything in a very, very long time. And I am extremely glad that I am straight.

I do, however have a very good education. And that was paid for by myself. No student loans involved. It was paid for by allot of pain. Car accident settlements paid for it. I do, however, still suffer everyday from pain. I have just learned to deal with it. So to look at me, you would not know I was in pain. I am not going to play it up.

I have thing to do and I need to see mom everyday. So I cannot let the pain interfere with my life. I have to just put it in it's place.

A little box in the back of my mind. This is where I store the pain. A trick I picked up many years ago.

I am a nice person, basically. Everywhere I go, throughout the Lower Mainland. People like me and remember me. I have great conversations with different people everyday, all the time.

I could just go into a coffee shop once and then the next time the person remembers exactly what I am drinking and is glad to see me again.

This, however, does not translate into friends. I just know allot of people. And I can tell you right now, know one will be at my funeral.

Yes my funeral. I am hoping to live longer than my mother. So I can put her to rest next to her parents,with my fathers ashes. Who knows though. 


But in the mean time, I am here to do everything for my mother. I am glad I have an education, I am glad I write, I am glad I  am their for my mother everyday. As I am. And this is the way I need it to be. As their is nothing else.

I need to be doing something for others. As I spent allot of my life. Being, well, useless. Except for my education and the great position I had in the states.

I have had my own business, learned allot, made mistakes. Tried to restart it. But mom needed things and I needed to be their for her. And the Public Guardian and Trustee of BC would not release any funds, so I could purchase the needed items for Mom.

Oh wait, the same thing is happening again. Mom is moving and needs allot of things and the Public Guardian and Trustee of BC is refusing to release any funds so mom can have a room that is appealing and relaxing. Some place she can call her own, for now.

I still am looking and praying that I get a place so mom can be with me their. So mom does not have to go through what dad went through. When he passed away. In a seniors home.

Mom deserves to be in a peaceful and relaxing environment. Surrounded by beautiful things. And her family.

Yes I said family. I may think what I think about my sisters and I know what they did to my father. The war veteran. Who should of had a veterans funeral. Not cremated, as he was. Cheaply. As my sisters don't want to spend the money. More for them, these are their words not mine.

My younger sister left me a voice mail. This was just after dad passed away. Stating that I am not going to get any of the inheritance.

I phoned her and left a message of my own. It stated, what inheritance, mom is still alive and I hope she uses every bit of it. Because I want nothing of it.

But again, they are family, and if mom and I get a place. My sisters will have full access to her, anytime they want to see mom. I would never stop this.

But I am going to put a stop to my sisters removing things from moms room.

I digress. Back to blame.

I blame everyone, well not everyone, but most of them. At River view for the way mom is now. They crippled her and contributed to mom being more advanced in her Dementia than she should be. I blame them for the lack of treatment. That was promised. And the same staff that made the same promise where mom is now. To get her up walking. This is why they banned me from walking her.

Oh wait. That was because they did not want to be libel in case anything happened to mom while I was walking her. Those, again are their exact words.

I am a paper junky, so I keep everything. This includes all emails I receive. And send out. I print them and file them.

I am still very upset about the malicious way the social worker did this. Again, knowing full well, that if I knew it was to be shared accommodations. The answer would of been NO.


I am to be here for mom at all turns, in her life. This is what I am suppose to do. I know it, and I have know it for along time. Before mom and dad became ill.

If you believe in GOD you will understand this statement. I was told I am to do this by GOD. That I am going to be doing this. That this is part of my life's plan. Who am I to argue with GOD.

It is GOD who put us here and it is GOD that knows what are life's plan is. After all, he predestined it.

As someone put it. My life is none of my business. This meaning, that what the future holds is not where I should be concentrated on. I should be looking at the present. What is happening right now. Tomorrow will be here soon enough. And when it comes, deal with it then. What is the most important thing, is how you Love one another right here and now.  The smile you give the stranger on the train. The hello you say to the lady in the street.

Helping someone out, just because you can. Not expecting anything in return. And then going on your way. These are the best things that can happen throughout the day. Holding a door open. Letting someone go a head of you in the line.

I could go on and on, but I will stop now.

I was able to get mom a fresh coke today. Thanks to my roommates empties. But nothing else.

I will go early today. So I could get her stuff ready for Monday morning. But I have nothing to bring her. And again tonight. Moms dinner tonight was not what she wanted and was not that good. She ate what she could. I could see that she did not enjoy it.

Once in a while, they do have good dinners. But bland. So this is why I carry sauces with me.
Yet the bags I have are almost done. On their very last leg.

GOD bless and good night.

Kris