Hello again
It is stressful, and the last few days I have had shortness of breath. A pain in my chest.
So my chest is heavy, shortness of breath. It could be the sign's of a heart attack or an anxiety attack. An anxiety attack mimics the sign's of a heart attack.
I had the moving costs taken care of, but I have heard nothing from the ministry. It has been two weeks since I submitted the three quotes. And nothing. I am not going to get the day that I need. And I probable won't get any day now.
I paid rent for the 15 of June and have had the key since then. I should of been living out their already. But no. I sit here not knowing what is going on.
I have nothing to furnish this new place. I have a basement suite, for less money than I am paying now for a room. But now, it is furnished, and the new place is not.
I have nothing to put into it. Not even a lamp.
Mom is asking when she can come over for a visit. I should of had mom over at least a few times already. But no. I don't know what to even say.
People are asking me if I have moved yet and when I am moving. I don't have an answer for anyone. Nothing..
I can't even tell them, I have nothing to put into this new place. They all have money, and I don't. Some of the children I have got to know are saying when are you going to have a caregiver get together. I don't have an answer to this either.
What is it that I am going to I say.
I have written the PGT again, tonight. Stating that I don't even have a mover anymore. Mom is asking when she can come over. She knows that I rented a place for the 15 of the month.
If I had the money I would rent a truck and do it myself.
It is hard to do things when you have no one to help you. I don't have friends, as they don't like that I have devoted my life to looking after my mother. And fighting for her rights.
One of the staff members asked me today, if I had a job. I explained that I have been in many, many car accidents over the last few years. And then explained I do have a job. It is the best job anyone could have. Completely fulfilling.
I help my mother out. I fight for her rights. This all takes time. I travel 6 - 8 hours a day to get out to White Rock. I spend time writing and calling, and picketing those who abuse my mother. I file the papers needed to start the process of law suites. To obtain committee of person. I spend hours and hours researching this disease and alternative treatments for said disease.
I don't get paid, but it is the best possible job one could have. I receive many other rewards for doing this. Peace of mind. Knowing I am doing for someone other than myself. Extreme patients. Love of life. Not taking anything for granted. To live one's life, because you never know when something very serious is going to take you over. Or I don't know if I am going to get Alzheimer's and/or Dementia.
OK, I don't eat much at all. I don't spend money on myself. In the last four or five years I have bought, maybe a few shirts, and a couple of pairs of shoes. I use whatever I get to purchase things mom needs. And she needs some new bra's. The other one's are now to large on her. She needs a pair of summer shoes. To keep her feet cool.
So I didn't even want to write anything tonight. I am stressed out and in pain. I just don't want anything bad to happen.
I have to go to bed now. Well just go to bed and watch this show on my computer. After I bring the computer into my room.
GOD bless and good night.
Kris Schmuland
Again I wrote the PGT asking for them to keep the promises that were made to me, last fall, early this year, and a few months ago.
One person can make a difference, and ever person must
try.
John F. Kennedy
