Hello again
Well today it was OK with regards to my travels, except when I got to White rock and got off the bus. Darn, It was like someone turned on the cold and wind fans.
This morning I wanted to do so much and contact so many people. but no phone and no well money. I wanted to make mom something good. As she is not eating. Today mom, again barely ate. It is really upsetting me and nobody seems to give a dam.
She was happy though. We had a good time talking and laughing. It was her usual routine. In bed by 7PM. The good thing is they took mom to the washroom and changed her, Early then usual.
So I am trying to get the clothing back that my sister's took and no luck so far.
It is almost December and this is the time when I would decorate mom's room. But what I have, is not acceptable. The tree is to big and the decorations, not appropriate. Mom helps me with this and I have to get a tree and decorations right away. This has become a tradition for us. And I can't disappoint her.
Mom relies on these little things in life. As everything else has been taken away from her. And again one of the staff, said to me that she would never do what I do. And she was counting the hours it takes me to get their and back. By the year, as well as the km's.
You know, I had to explain to mom that I don't care how long it takes or how far it is. I traveled to Mission and Abbostford there and back without any problems. I can at least get back home from White Rock. And no matter what I will never stop what I am doing. I do not do anything out of guilt. I do this out of love, for my mother. Never, Never, Never.
It really does piss me off big time when people say these things. I guess they really don't love their parents as much as I do. Yes some may say it is strange that I do this, but oh well. Too bad.
What I do for mom everyday, is exactly what mom deserves. Someone has to step up. I don't have anyone else. My only family. And I have no friends. I have gone for over a week now, speaking only to my mother. No one else. I have sometimes gone two or more weeks without speaking to another person besides my mother. Sometimes she tells me I am talking to much. Well I need to speak to someone. I have no phone. And yes I chatter from the moment I get their until I leave. Except when she tells me to shut up. I do.
You have to understand, I love my mother, and would die to do whatever she needs. Mom needs me and I her. I have no one else in my life and mom is my life. Period.
It is weird. I travel 110 km's aday and I don't speak to anyone. I thought I was personable. I was raised to be polite to everyone.
I don't know, I must give off the get away from me attitude. But people do say hi and smile at me. Oh well. Again.
Someday I guess I will figure it out. But for now I need to get mom to eat, what ever it takes. I will cook everyday for her and bring it out their. I still am not very hungry. It has been over a week since I ate and I am just not hungry, at all. I just want my tea. I don't know what the problem is. Before I was always hungry. Now not so much.
I just want mom to eat and I am worried about that. I need to decorate her room. And for me I need to be warm. If I am sick I can't visit her.
Well the little story I wrote a few days ago. Is now turning into a full length story. My version of Tiny Tim. It is only going to be a few pages long. So I will post it when it is done. I wrote over a page last night in Open Office. I will try to write more tonight.
I started at almost the end, so I thought I needed a beginning and a middle and the ending. So my brain started writing the story.
I really need to go now. As last night I was up until really late writing this and Tiny Tim.
GOD Bless and good night
Kris
