Hello again
I am cold, I am broke, I can't walk through the malls, it gets me depressed. I have no decorations for my mother's room. I don't have the proper winter clothing. My fingers are freezing cold. I don't have gloves or a scarf.
No matter how many layer's I have on I am just plain cold. And tonight I was freezing and I just didn't care. So I think I am suffering now.
Today I almost did not get out of bed. I got up at noon. And then scrambled to get ready and left. I have no tea. And this is what I live on. I have no appetite and I am not eating.
I need to make this Christmas as great as possible. It cannot be as last year. Present less. Thanks to him, at the PGT
I have walked through a few stores last week and I saw beautiful gifts for mom. I have to get a phone so I can arrange a new place for mom.
By the way I have a job, I don't considerate a job, I am my mother's caregiver, and advocate. OK I don't get paid. But I get paid in other ways, that cannot be obtained from money.
I don't even know anymore if I should even continue to write this. I have been writing it for over 2 years and nothing.
I won't though. I need to get this out their. Other's need to know exactly what happens and what one feels during this experience.
Mom tonight ate some of her dinner. More rice, which she hates. She ate the coleslaw, with some pear in it and the chicken, most of it anyway.
I really need to do something about this matter, mom needs to eat. And not just a little bit. He from the PGT tells me all the time, the hospital supply;'s food. And I tell him yes, but if she won't eat it, she has to eat something. Or she gets sick.
I need this miracle now GOD I will completely loose it, if this Christmas is like last years nothing Christmas.
I need real help, and I need it now. From real people.
I reach out to you all for the sake of my mother. PLEASE
I really have to go. I know it is short but I need to go to bed
GOD Bless and good night
Kris
