Hello again.
I am still in the same place as I was yesterday, but I am disappointed today. That nothing, I mean, nothing happened today. I wrote Zulfiya a letter telling her how sorry I am and that I have feelings for her.
Yes feelings, I said. I have not had feelings for anyone in many years, many years. And since I have not received a letter from her since I wrote and told her not to come. I am missing our exchange. I think about her. I talk about her, I told mom about her.
Just to deviate a little bit, This is the worst weekend for TV ever for me. I do not like horror movies. And this is all that is on.
Now I really need and want to move to White Rock, I do not like it in Coquitlam anymore. I like Coquitlam, I just don't want to be here anymore. It is time to move on and to start anew. I really want to meet Zulfiya in person and spend a few weeks together. And then devote my time getting mom's treatment together. And getting ADSAAC together. Finishing the web site. Develop a new logo. Get resources on board with me.
So I don't know what to do. I need to do this and do it right away. And I need advice and help from GOD, or anyone out their.
What I really need is the PGT to keep it's promises and deliver that $10,000.00 I was told I would get. But of course it is all just crap. Again this is how they operate. Make promises, stall you for weeks and then tell you they never said that. You must be mistaken. You could have them on tape and they would say you made that up or that is not me. This is a misuse of power. An abuse of their positions.
It was to be given to me several weeks ago, when I told them I want to move. And them suggesting that is a good idea. That we will help you and then telling me an amount. And that amount is the amount I wrote in the last paragraph.
Mom wants me closer, and wants to meet my lady. This way I can talk to all the doctor's I need to speak with. Mom wants to, as much as I do, want to spend time with Zulfiya.
So what do I do, I am completely stuck here. I just ask, everyday, that something good happen for me that day. And my days are the same as the next, day after day, the same.
Now mom is the only saving grace of my day. I love when I get their and see mom. The smile on her face, makes up for everything else. And all disappears the moment I see her. I help her with dinner, as tonight, I hug her, give her kisses. I wash her face, arms and legs. And then put allot of different products on her. One for her face, lips and under the eyes. Then one for her hands and nails, then another for her arms and legs. Then I finish off with her foot cream. I brush her hair and then mom is ready for bed. I sit with her for awhile and hold her hand,, while she fall's asleep. It is completely amazing and the best feeling one could ever have. I make mom happy and in return I leave singing with a smile on my face.
I really want to be close to mom so I can bring her a hot and delicious dinner at night. Something the hospital simply misses the mark on. It is bland and tasteless. Nothing on the potatoes, or anything else. I bring all sorts of items with me to make her food taste better. Butter, sauce, salt and pepper. and other sundry products.
I do believe I am on the verge of something wonderful. But I want it in my time, which usually doesn't happen. In GODS time.
I need to go and get to bed. It was 4:00 am last night when I got to bed. I spent the time writing this and taking breaks for a little TV watching.
Please Pray for me that I get the needed finances to move. Right away. I only have two days to tell Zulfiya to come.
GOD Bless and good night
Kris
