Hello again
Well today I awoke with an answer to part of my problem. That is the women, Zulfiya. Now I am glad I told her not to come. Sometimes I don't know what is best for me. And I do rely on my GOD for answer's and to not let me make stupid mistakes. And I think this was one of those times when I would of made a huge mistake. How can one fall in love with someone, when you have never spent any time with them.
And I already have one women in my life. And I don't know if I could deal with someone coming over and spending 2 weeks with them 24/7 for these two weeks. Ok not a chance. I would of freaked out. I am not able to spend that much time with anyone. The last serious relationship I had was over ten years ago and yes we spent every night together. I mean we were together everyday and just in the evening. I could barely take that. And since then I have gone on only sporadic dates. And that was only for a few hours in the evening.
As I state I have one women in my life and that women is my mother, and I cannot deal with a serious relationship at this time. Or I don't know when. If it is to be. It will not be forced. As Zulfiya just told me she wanted to come. I am glad, again, I said no.
The only thing I want to do is move to White Rock and get set up their. I have to wait for my degree to come in the mail and then I can get registered. I need to get busy with ADSAAC and I am awaiting answers on grant applications and I have many more to fill out and send off. I am wanting to put what I have on this blog into a book. What I am saying is needed to be told to more people than what are reading my blog.
Don't get me wrong, I love all of you who read my blog and please continue to read my blog. I am looking into this process and seeing if it is even possible or needed.
I mean what was I thinking about having this women over from Europe. I just about made the biggest mistake of my life. I probably would not of been able to get rid of her, and the next the I know is I am getting married. I don't know how to write the word or even if it is a word. You know when it is like a chilling effect. I am sitting here do this and I cant come up with the word.
So I am now just waiting for the move to White Rock, which I am sure and positive is right away. The prays that I seek and have asked for. Now enough about me.
So today I ended getting to moms late, I mean really late. 5:45 and the staff had not even feed her yet. Ok yes I am always their for dinner, but come on if I am not their by 5:30 warm her food up and feed her. She has to eat and eat at a certain time. Not when ever like me. Or not at all. Mom needs her energy and needs her nutrition. Of course I mention this to them and got them to warm the food up. but before they did, They said I will see if I can do that. What!
Anyways mom wanted to go and have her nightly beauty treatment done. And who am I to deny mom what she wants. But she needed to go to the restroom and I got them to get her ready for bed, so when I am finished I would just put her to bed. Which I did. It takes a staff of three to put mom to bed and I just lifted mom up and put her into bed. Hugged her and kissed her good night and that was it. Tonight I only was able to spend 1 hour with her. Yes I traveled two and a half hours their and back for less than 1 hour of visiting mom. Mom goes to bed at 7:pm and that is it.
That is the reason why I need to be in White Rock, so I can be their quickly and it is not far for me to go home after.
Anyways, I need to sleep now. I am extremely tired and hungry. And not getting much of either these days. I have been to worried about wanting to move to White Rock. And getting the place furnished.
GOD Bless and good night.
Kris
