Hello again
Today is not a good day. I arrived to visit mom and she started to cry and cried the whole time I was their and this makes me think she was crying most of the day. Mom is very upset and I don't blame her. To be abused, to be refused the ability to walk, to be stuck in the chair. No entertainment what so ever. Except to be stuck in front of the TV.
And this is not why she is crying. Mom is crying because she See's me getting thinner and thinner. She can tell from my not so much of a double chin anymore and the fact my clothing is falling off of me. And she pointed out that I have be wearing the same thing day after day. Mom was pointing this out to me today and was asking if I have been eating. And I cannot even lie to her. She can tell if I am lying and then gets made at me, until I tell her.
I do not like to tell mom anything that is bothering me, but mom can tell and gets it out of me. Mom know I am not eating, but I kept telling her tonight I will be ok. Which, well I guess I will be. I told her over and over again tonight, but mom did not believe me. But even if I don't eat for awhile I will be OK. I just need mom to eat. And mom wants me to bring her good food, food with taste. And I want to . Like tonight, a cabbage roll, white plain, minute rice and plain carrots. Come on now. Mom is use to eating well. I have cooked for her for a long time and all food with taste of goodness.
I want to continue to do this. And today I asked the PGT STEPHEN FLYNN for $100.00 for groceries to make her dinner, until I speak with the dietitian. And mr. Fylnn just said no. He is an abuser of his clients and as with the other case managers that I got rid off. It is Stephens turn to go. And I am tired of him and his abuse and corruption. And that money would include her drinks and fruit and dessert.
So I have nothing to give mom tomorrow. And tonight I had nothing either. And mom only ate the cabbage roll. And nothing else. This is not good and mom is going to get sick. I told these people and well nothing they can do about it.
Myself I have two dollars and thirty cents in my pocket. So on my way home tonight, while freezing, I thought of what I can get myself to eat. And that I needed to get mom a drink. So I decided to instead of buying a few potatoes for dinner, I will take the money and try to get another fifty cents and get mom her favorite drink.
It is Ok I will be fine. Not the first time I have gone days without eating. I just wish I had enough money to get mom some fruit and cheese as well as a nice dinner. Instead of that crap they serve.
This is my wish for tomorrow.
You know what actual really pisses me off, my family calls me all sorts of names, but all they do is take and take. Barely seeing mom. I will never stop seeing her. I will always be their for her.
Oh yea my left arm has been giving me problems today. Well it is hurting me. I did nothing to eat. Well it could be one of the small heart attacks I have had in the past. But it is really bothering me. And has been for a few days now.
Tomorrow I wish upon a star, that I can find mom the money needed for a dinner for her and the fifty cents I need to get her drink. I don't care about what happens to me, I am just concerned about mom eating and staying healthy. And making sure mom gets enough for dinner that she actually likes and wants to eat.
This is what I need and I have to leave tomorrow morning by 11:30 so I can get to this extremely important meeting. I have to be their. This can allow me to eat or not eat every month. But I don't know what will happen. I just know I have to get this done before I go to this meeting. I don't know how I am going to come up with even the fifty cents, let alone money for dinner.
So I must go now, I need to go to bed now.
GOD Bless and good night
Kris
I need some warm clothing I am getting very cold coming home at night.
