Hello
Well today was an interesting day for me. First off, this morning, while my roommate was cooking bacon and eggs. And the fact this is day 16 without food, only tea. I decided to go for a walk. Well I got down the street and I guess I must of passed out. Because the next thing you know, I am waking up in a ambulance, at the entrance to eagle Ridge Hospital. I am brought in and checked in immediately. The doctors are questioning me on what happened.
I tell them I don't know. I was just walking because I did not want to be home. As I am starving and my roommate was making bacon and eggs. And I have not eaten in 16 days. He tells me that I am stupid and I need to eat. Well I get pissed off at him and tell him. You know doctor. If I could of eaten I would of. You can only eat what you have in the cupboards. And my cupboards and fridge are empty. Period. Nothing but mustard, ketchup and miracle whip. That is it. And because of being disabled and in a recent accident. I can not get to the food bank. And I have no friends. And I know nobody to help me out. I am alone in this world.
It is like, doctor, I just moved to this city.But I grew up here and I have no friends to help me and there for I have no way of getting to the food bank. And I know nobody to help me out and no money to buy groceries.
So this is why I have not eaten in 16 days. He tells me I could die or ruin myself for ever.
So he hooked me up to some sort of intravenous and told me I need to stay their at least a week. So we can see how much damage you have done to yourself. After a certain amount of days your body starts to eat it's self and everything starts to break down. So Kris after this amount of time. You have done some serious damage to yourself.
Well I told him I can't stay and I need to see my mother everyday. As mom is moving on Tuesday and I need to be their for her. I was told in no uncertain terms, I am staying for at least a week.
So I am their at the hospital. lying in bed and I have tubes and stuff hooked up to me. Checking my heart and lungs and liver.
Well about 2 pm I could not take it anymore and was starting to have an anxiety attack. So I got up, and got dressed. Found some scissors, cut the hospital ID off of me and snuck out and came home. Got ready and went to see mom. I am sure the hospital is pissed off at me. Apparently, someone from the hospital was here looking for me tonight. Oh well, I got some kind of nourishment into my body. I guess it will have to do for now. As, again. I have no friends to help me. I am alone and I could not even call someone to help me out, even if I had a phone. I don't even have someone to talk to if I need to. And I need to eat, something serious. As well as have a friend that I can talk to. Not only about mom but about anything. The only thing the intravenous did was make me even more hungry.
So I can't answer the door, as I can't go back to the hospital. I can't stay their a week. I need to be with mom the day she moves and spend the day with her. And for the next few weeks spend allot of time with her. So mom can become settled in. Without freaking out.That her son is not their visiting her.And what is wrong with me. Mom has had me their visiting with her for many, many, many years and I don't plan on stopping now.
I don't care if I have to crawl their. I will continue to go without eating if this is the way it has to be. Yes I would love to come home one day and find a whole whack of groceries siting at my door. This is what I dream of everyday, when I am on my way home at night.
Oh well. Dreams don't always come true. As I can testify. Really I dream of this all the time and everyday. And when I get home I get disappointed. And then depressed. And then I just sit for awhile and then I write to you all about the simple fact of my life. I care for my mother deeply and will do whatever is necessary to keep her healthy and to make sure she lives along time.
Now tonight, it is the same thing. I get their to visit mom and they bring her out. Only to find out mom has to go to the bathroom. And so I bring her back to the door. Then wait. It is Ok the wait that is.
Mom is then brought back out. And then we can have our visit. Tonight they only dressed her in a t-shirt. and they usually put a sweater on her. The weather is changing and it is getting cold outside at night. And tonight mom was very cold. And because her tooth is sore, mom did not want to eat or have her teeth brushed. I will doing doing something about it soon. So I washed her face, and did what I always do. Put the moisturiser on it. And lip balm on her and her eye serum. And then washed her feet and lower legs. She was to cold and did not want me to wash her arms. I had put a blanket on her but still she was cold. Thank GOD I am always hot. So she grabs my hands and she then gets warm.
Oh yea. I rubbed her chest with Vicks vapour rub. This mom likes as it warms her chest up and helps her to breath better. I am glad I remembered to get some. I actually stole it. As mom needed it and I have no money. When I get some money I will go back to the store and tell them what I did and why and pay them. And let the chips fall where they may.
So I am sitting here. My roommates bought groceries today and again I have nothing. Less than nothing. Maybe I should go back to the hospital. No I don't think so. I can't take the time to stay their as long as the doctors want me to stay.
And why should I expect anyone to help me. Well let me tell you. Because it is the right thing to do. I am doing everything for my mother. And it is the right thing to do. Nobody should starve as I am.
Ok that being said. Mom is only going to be at Valleyview another 3 nights. And I am glad she is going from this hell whole. This abusive place. I will not stop writing about Riverview, as I have said. I will only stop when Riverview meets my demands and that is the only time. I will, maybe have to start writing about Oceanside. Depends on how they treat mom from the start. I will inform them that I write this blog and if they continue to do as Riverview does. They will be included in my blog.,
As far as Riverview is concerned, I am going to start to research the hospital and find out how many patients have died as a result of the anti psychotic medication. And from the symptoms they mimic. Write about it and keep writing until, once again, Riverview meets my demands.
And now for the PGT, It was agreed upon that they would help me and I was expecting something today and as usual, it never transpired. So longer and longer it is going to take to get my phone back. I today phoned Virgin and found out that Virgin is still billing me and I have no contract with them. I gave the guy shit and told him to pass it on to the supervisor and to tell the supervisor that I am leaving Virgin. And the only way I will stay, is if they zero my bill and up grade me to the new galaxy S 11. And told him I do not have he time to waste anymore and the one half hour it took me to get to him was enough. So I politely said good bye and hung up the phone. I still can't believe that Virgin is charging me at my regular rate and I have no contract with them. I am on a month to month plan.
So maybe dreams do come true and one of these days, soon I hope, I will walk around the corner at my home and wow their will be enough food to last me for a while.
One can only dream, can't we.
I am completely tired and have to go
GOD Bless and good night
Kris Schmuland
