Hello again
I could not write for a few days as my neck and shoulders were and are to sore to do anything. The most comfortable position for my neck is lying down. Period. Otherwise,within a few hours I am getting a major headache and stiff neck. As well as I am getting nauseous , ready to throw up. I can't bend my neck downwards at all. To read I need to hold my phone or a book, straight in front of me. And this alone, causes my neck to become painful. Looking down is not a thing for me now.
I am really afraid now. I think there is something seriously wrong with my neck. Not just whiplash. Off to a doctor tomorrow morning. I want x-rays done on my neck. I have been in many accidents and I have never felt like this before. It is not just my back and legs that are affected, but the most important part of my body. My neck. I am terrified that there is something seriously wrong with my neck. As in a fracture or like that.I am afraid that if I do anything to strenuous I will become paralyzed. Yes I am that worried.
Worried on top of everything else that is wrong with me. This is just to much for me to take, especially since this is the first Christmas I am going without my mother. Being truly alone is not very fun. Just thinking about it make me very depressed. I,for the first time, have no one in my life. Not a soul to call a friend.
I went to church again today. I spoke with t he pastor the other day and asked what am I doing wrong. Am I am bad person. He told me to come today and he will introduce me to some people. Well he was there, but I couldn't find him until it was to late. He was already starting to teach this class. I will call him tomorrow as well, to just let him know I was actually there.
But here I am,alone, sitting in front of my computer, typing away. complaining that I am alone. I don't even have enough money to pay for a monthly bus pass. If I had the funds, I would at least get out and go somewhere. I know I would be able to have a conversation with someone. Even if I didn't even know them. I am good that way. OK, people will just start having a conversation with me. And in know time, I will know their life story. OK with me. I make a new friend. A friend for the moment.
Aways has been that way with me. But alas, no monthly bus pass. This is going to make it difficult to get to a job interview. I sold my printer to pay for my phone. That is one thing off the, I need funds now, thing. Nothing else is selling. Barely a phone call on the other things.
I am trying, trying very hard. People keep saying you are having a difficult time now. YES I AM! and it is getting harder by the day. Just typing is killing my shoulders. And I am resting my arms on the desk. Dresser. Just holding them out in the typing position is causing the pain to flare up.
And my neck.
I need to stop now. I can't go on with this tonight.
Please pray.
Oh yea, my tooth ache is not going away and I am taking anti biotics.
Please support my dental work.
https://www.gofundme.com/anewmesmile
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher Schmuland
