Hello again
Yes I did write I want to die, it is true. I am not dealing well with anything. Nothing is happening that shows that my life is going anywhere. I am stuck and I don't like any of it. I just would like some kind of sign that something is happening in my life.
I am in a situation that is not going to work well, at all. As soon as I walked in the door this evening, I was asked to do this and to do that. You only have to do two things for me. Yea right, the two things turned into 6, before I stopped it in it's tracks. And the evening isn't over yet. She is already telling me to do this and that tomorrow. I just walked in the door. And it has been one thing after another.
After I write this I will be speaking with her about things, how things are going to work.
And today, nothing happened. No response from any of the places I applied. Haven't even time to search Craigslist for places.
Things I need to do for myself. I want to set up a home office, so I can get organized. Not here it would never happen. I would be constantly interrupted. Can you do me a favor, This is the line that is used.
I am not even sleeping lately. I am so stressed out I really can't take it anymore. I just want to run. And just disappear.
I have so much wrong with me and it is just getting worse. No I don't have any heart problems, but it is nerve problems in my elbow and shoulder
I have my driving test coming up in a few weeks and I am stressed about that. Yes I have driven for many years, but it has been 10 years since I have driven on a regular basis. And I want to have a service for mom. I need a suite for that. A dark suite. People are saying you don't need a suite. Yes I do to show respect for my mother.
I will do this as I took care of my mother. For her. My life is her life. And I will always think that.
So I am done. I need some real help.
My family thinks I am a user. Well which one of them was looking after mom everyday, which one of them came to visit mom, The only ones where my sister's and they only came every other month, for 15 minutes and never held her hand. Mom told me, even though she didn't speak, I read her very well as I am able to read everyone.
So I am a user, You are loosers.
Good bye
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