Hello again
Tonight mom ate more and was hungry, But still wanted to go to bed for her spa treatment. And because of the social worker calling me today and basically yelling at me on the phone and demanding that I not put her to bed. (more on this after) I could not put her to bed.
Well the care aide came in early and put got her changed and into bed. But mom had an accident, which I knew, she was embarrassed about this. It took a while to get her cleaned up and she got some on her wheel chair. This is to be expected when you don't toilet someone and expect them to sit in their feces for hours. Which was the case with mom tonight.
Great care, don't you think.
Now when I got back into mom's room, I was able to start her spa treatment. Mom was upset and kept asking why. Why I do what I do everyday. And continue to do it.
I just told her that my life was hers and that this is the best thing I have every have done in my life. Nothing else compares to this. And I would rather do this than anything else on this planet.
That I was always in the hospital for something. That I died at the age of 5 and was brought back to life. But you, mom, took care of me all the time. And that I am doing what is right, the right thing to do in life. You looked after me and I am here to look after you.
Through-out this whole time, mom was crying. I kept giving her a kiss on her cheek. And telling her everything was all right. And that I am moving closer to spend more time with her, to have her over and get her out of her chair.
That the is the first step in having a place for her to come to, to stay over night. I cried as well, while mom was crying and asking me why.
I just hugged her and told her that I love her and that I will always be their for her. No matter what and would always fight for her rights. Make sure she is healthy..
I finished her spa treatment and then before I sang her our song, I cleaned the chair. No big deal. I clean her chair all the time. But I guess she saw me do this, tonight and new. But when I went back into her room, she started to cry again and this made me cry as well. I just told her again that this is what I want to do and I will never stop. That I love her and I am to honor my mother. This is the way I am doing it and would never have it any other way. I hugged her again and kissed her good night after I sang to her. She smiled, with happiness and was very glad.
It is not mom who is glad, I am the happy one. I get to be their for her, like I have never been their for anyone else. And this is the way it should be. One giving of their life for another. This is what I was taught.
Now for the social worker. She called me this morning, waking me up. After I got to bed and finally fell asleep at 4:00 am. She then proceeded to tell me that it is not good for me to be putting mom to bed, that she is not weight barring. And it is not good for me. Telling me in a condescending manner. Not even listening to me when I am letting her know that I have been doing this for over 10 years and am very experienced at using the lift. She tells me that I can't use it, that I have to come in and get trained on it. Even though the lifts are the same at all the facilities. I said OK, but she didn't even listen to anything that I was saying. She kept telling me what I should and should not do. And to leave it to the professionals.
This is where I got upset and said to her " what do you think, that I am an idiot, that I don't know what I am doing. I have been doing this for many, many years." She dismissed me and told me she had to go.
Now I am done with her attitude and will be filling a claim with the Human rights tribunal.
At Oceanside, mom was taken to the toilet and was able to move herself around the ward. Not here. Her legs are always up. Even though I have insisted that they remove the leg braces and let her move about on her own. She never listens. And to stop giving her Tylenol. Still has not stopped doing this and then refusing to listen to anything anyone else has to say.
I see that it is their way, not as they said when mom first moved into the Al Hogg Pavilion. Where they work with the families.
Now next week, I move. Today I spoke with the ministry and asked for help. They told me that I needed to shop around. Yes, I would, if I had any funds I would not even be asking for help. That for less than a couple of thousand, I could furnish my entire place. But I don't even have a thousand to do this . Not even a bed, dresser, couch or anything for my mother to sit on. Nothing at all.
I guess I sleep on the floor and can't bring mom over. Mom is expecting for me to bring her over when I move, she knows I am moving and is excited for this. She did ask me about it tonight. Where it was that I was moving too. I said just down the street. Not far.
I have never told her that I won't be able to bring her over, that I don't even have anything for her to sit on, or even a plate to feed her lunch.
I will never let her know this. I don't know what to tell her once I move. When she asked me to come over. What do I tell her.
I have mentioned this to the PGT as well. How do I bring mom over, with nothing. The idea, which we agreed on from the start when mom moved to White Rock. Was for me to get out their. And be able to have mom over, as I did when she lived in Coquitlam. Looks like it is not going to happen.
I don't know what I am going to do, I can't sleep on the floor, sit on the floor, eat off of nothing.
All I have is, well, a kettle and a set of knives.
I need to go now.
GOD bless and good night.
Hope someone is reading this and is willing to help out.
Kris Schmuland
