Hello again
Good day, I guess. I managed to find an extra bit of money and I was able to get mom her fuze drink and a little bit of fruit and some discounted Halloween candy.
When I got to visit mom, mom was extremely happy to see me. And she wanted a big hug and kisses, which of course I gave her. I arrived in time for dinner. And of course mom wanted to drink and did she drink. Allot, and after we both went Wow! at the same time. Yes mom said it very clearly. Then I told her about my trip home last night. It was nice and some what warm in White Rock when I left and continued that way to Richmond and into Vancouver. And when I got on the bus to come to Coquitlam, it was fine. I was reading and not paying attention, and then looked up when I got to Port Moody and the ground was wet. And it was raining out. This is the difference between the different areas in the lower Mainland.
Someone was at the hospital visiting mom today and she was happy about it. Mom ate some of her dinner, but not much. This is a problem for me, as mom is not eating properly. It is hospital food. And with no taste. As usual. tried to get mom to eat more, but that was it.
Mom can not continue like this. She needs some good tasting food. As I have brought her. Yes if I did not bring her anything good to eat. Mom would be eating the food. But come on now. It is my mother and someone of the two of us, have to eat well. Something tasty. And that is what I try to bring her, as I can afford. which is nothing at the moment. I barely was able to get mom her drink.
I don't eat, and when I say this I tell the truth. Tonight I am eating french fries. I was able to buy two potatoes. This will work. As this is all I have had in about a week now. I live on tea. And that is not a lie.
The hunger pains go away after two or three days and as long as I have my tea, it is Ok. Which, lately I have not had. I would just like my Earl Grey tea. Enough to get me by for the rest of the month. But no. This does not even happen. It sickens me, that I can't even have this. And it is so little I ask. Well maybe allot, since I ask for enough to get dinner for mom.
I really only want mom to have a healthy diet. and me, well what ever. Eventually I will eat, I guess, but in the mean time. I need to live on my tea.
So I ask again. That is it.
Now after dinner, mom was not ready to have her nightly treatment, so we walked around the place, listened to music and I sang and we danced a bit. Funny as it is, mom in the wheel chair, and me with my cane.
Then mom needed to use the washroom. and I had to explain to the staff that they have to get mom ready for bed, as I am the only one she wants to put her to bed. Yes I just lift her up and place her in her bed, brush her hair, for a while and give mom plenty of hugs and kisses, and then more hugs and kisses after I clean up the room before I leave for the night. I love this with all of my heart and being. It gives great joy to be able to do this for my mother and that mom trusts me enough to just lift her from her wheel chair and place her in her bed. The look of calmness on her face. The relaxation mom feels when I was her feet and put the lotion on it. I give her a foot massage, hand massage every night.
I leave with the feeling that GOD has been their in the room with us. The absolute joy and peace that radiates from the both of us. I do not know how to describe it. This is why I do it. Everyone tells me to get a job, your a looser, how pathetic you are. People won't talk to me anymore. I get not help from anyone and yet I don't care. As long as I have mom in my life, life is good. I am doing the right thing by my mother.
Is not want we are her to do. The right thing for each other. To love one another. And no matter what, be their for them. No matter what. And whatever it takes, I will be their for mom. If mom wants my last article of clothing, so be it, she will get it. If I go naked, that is fine. As long as mom is happy and kept clothed, and warm.
If I have to go without food, for an extended period of time, so mom can have home cooked meals. Then that is what GOD wants, HE will make sure I am OK!. If I have to travel two and a half hours to get their to see her, and the same back, then this is what I am going to do, without hesitation. And I will enjoy each and every minute of the travel time and absolutely love every hour I get to spend with mom. This is my time, and nothing is going to stop me from this time. No one! I will not except anything less of myself. My mother deserves this and allot more. So I will do whatever mom needs and wants. Period!
MOM IS FIRST I AM LAST.
Yet in everyone else's eye's I am doing wrong.
Still no answer on the wavier to walk mom and the social worker. Larry, blocked my email's. That is funny. I laughed very loudly when I found this out. He does not know, I can open new email accounts in seconds. But why waste my time. I am a professional now, and will act like one. And will be expecting others to treat me as such. Especially the doctors at Ocean Side. We are equal now. I will not stand for abuse from them. Nor to speak down to me. As they do with all other children of patients their. I will no longer tolerate this.
I did not spend years going to school to be insulted with their indecency.
I am going to go now and eat my fries. They are really good and only a tablespoon of oil, and oven baked.
GOD and good night y'all
Kris Schmuland.
Let us hope today/tomorrow brings about some luck. As in the ability to bring mom a fresh hot meal, so she can eat properly.
