Hello again
I was wearing all I have today and I was extremely cold their and back. Could not get warm. I guess one day I will or must get a warm jacket. And I really must move to White Rock. I pray again to my GOD that I can get the funds to move to White Rock and furnish my place. And a car to take mom to appointments to get a second opinion on her disease. Which must be done soon, before they take mom to a new level.
I also need to speak to a lawyer to get a waiver written and to contact the hospital to get this on its way. Mom needs to get walking, and the less drugs she takes the better she can speak.
I want to take a moment to discuss people who lie to me. I can tell whether in person or on the phone when someone is lying to me. I am an expert at it.
Now, yesterday I phone my aunt to see if she wants to visit mom, she tells me her daughter has her van to move some things. Well, her daughter has a truck. Go figure. And today I call her and ask if she went to the flea market, as she does every Sunday. And she tells me yes. Then a few seconds latter she makes a back track and tells me oh no I have no car.
It is funny that I was told that my aunt and her daughter were at the hospital yesterday and mom told me to. This is what I mean by no one wants to be around me. She is famous for telling me to get a job. And I tell her I am in school and I can't right now. As well as I look after mom. And then what good is your schooling going to for you. Her words.
I just can't even bother even finishing that conversation every time. I just phoned today to see what she tells me. Which I new in advance. Why did I do it, I should not of done this it only got me upset and I have been thinking of it all day. My aunt has not been thinking about it. Or maybe she has, knowing I caught her in the lie.
Oh well.
Now this time change has really messed mom up. I arrived at Ocean Side at 4:50 and mom was very tired. It would be 1 hour latter. And at dinner mom barely ate anything. She did not like it. Now mom cannot continue like this. She has to eat. Mom wants me to bring her some home cooking. At least for one meal. And I am feeling very down and very much a looser, that I can not even bring my mother a home cooked meal once a day. This is pathetic. I am pathetic. I am even more depressed because of this.
Now with this time difference, mom wanted for me to give her, her nightly beauty treatment and put her to bed. I really tried to get mom to eat, no luck. She just does not like the hospital food. Who does. Yes for a few days it is Ok. But not after that. Mom expects me to do this. And I can not disappoint her. And I have not a clue how I am going to do this. I will give up everything to make sure mom eats everyday.
So mom wanted to go to bed and told me she wanted her treatment done. Mom will rub my face with her hand and I know it is time. So I brought her to her room. Washed her face and put the mostisor on her and then did her feet. At this time the staff took her to the washroom and got her ready for bed. When they brought her back I just needed to wash her hands and arms and put the lotion on them. Well this was not good enough. Mom wanted to go to bed right then and there. Mom was getting mad at me. So I put her to bed and tucked her in, Brushed her hair. And gave her the usual hugs and kisses and left.
I needed hot water so I went on a hunt throughout the hospital for hot water. I finally found the cafeteria and there was a microwave and found water and at least I got that for the ride home. Tea, my favorite.
So off I went to the bus stop and on my way home I went. That was the extent of my day. collected my smokes for the day. Now I am tired. As I was up really late writing my blog last night and with the time change I was up longer than usual.
I don't even know what to do now. I need to move, I need to bring mom dinner, so she can eat properly. and I really need some warm clothing.
I am going to go now. I need to sleep. I can't eat so sleep it is. I will just watch some TV and fall asleep.
So GOD and good night.
Please pray for me or please offer some help, not for me, but my mother.
Kris
