Hello again
Well today, it lived up to what I was saying. I checked my mail box, I asked if I had any mail, where I live. And nothing. I was around most of the day and no one came by to see if I was at home.
I really thought this year would be different. I have been a good boy this year, not like I am anything but good. The so called family, thinks differently. But GOD and I know the truth...
I really only wanted to have someone around this year. After all it is the first year without my mother. So I just thought someone, anyone, would have compassion and empathy to say this guy needs someone. He is alone and I am sure lonely... But didn't happen. And it is Christmas day tomorrow, well today other places... I can't say what will happen tomorrow, Christmas day, we will wait and see.
Now tonight I went to church again. Tonight I went to the Catholic Church. One to honour mom and the second reason I am part Catholic. I enjoyed the service more than I did the Christian Church I go to. So I have decided to honour both of my beliefs, the Pentecostal and the Catholic sides. At 9 am I will attend the Catholic Church, then at 11 am I will go to the Alliance church. It is just a morning of worshiping GOD
I received a spiritual book from the church tonight I will read it. On my list. I have several others I need to read first.
The only draw back from attending this evening, is that I am in so much pain now. The kneeling, the bending, the getting up and down. This hurt me greatly. And I need to take some extra pain killers after I finish writing this post. OK I took a pause and took some now. So I only have 15 minutes before they kick in.
I really am depressed now. Besides my neck killing me, I am just very lonely. I had no human contact today. Not a soul spoke to me. And I tried to get a conversation going with someone. Yea didn't work.
Am I wrong to want to have someone around me during this season. Am I wrong to want company for tomorrow. It didn't matter last year or for 12 years before that, as I took care of mom and in the nursing homes there are always people around. But the most important part of the holidays, was spending it with my mother.
A single gift, Is that to much to ask for. I really don't think so.
Here I am alone, lonely, without anyone to spend Christmas day with. No invitations to dinner, no friends.
As I said, I have everything I need to make a dinner, a turkey dinner and I will make it and just sit down in front of my TV and eat and eat. I will just wear sweat pants.
I will leave you now.
I wish you and your loved ones a Very Merry Christmas.
GOD bless and good night
Kristopher Schmuland
#409-15216 North Bluff Road
White Rock, BC
Canada, V3B0A7
https://www.gofundme.com/krisschmuland
https://www.gofundme.com/anewmesmile
